GOP Plan - Sex Will Make You Go Blind - By Mark Morford

[kpete]

Sex Will Make You Go Blind
Single? Under 30? You are in grave danger. Your government says so. Please, stop laughing
By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist

Wednesday, November 29, 2006


I think I get it now.

The latest pitiable GOP plan, from what I can tell, goes something like this: To make it all so absurd, to make the remaining Bush administration proposals and doctrines and cultural stratagems so outlandish and silly and degrading and insulting to your mind and your heart and your very own beleaguered genitalia that you cannot help but take note of their existence and laugh and cringe and sit back and go, Oh my God these people have got to be kidding.

At which point (they hope) you will turn to your spouse or your significant other or your dog and say, Hey honey, check this out, did you see the latest moronic and horrible dictum from the Bush administration? We should totally try it, just for kicks!

Then the GOP will gloat and say: See? The world still loves the GOP! Yay us! And then they shall proceed to smack themselves in the face with a brick.

It is the only viable explanation. It is the only way to account for something like, say, the latest twist in the Abstinence Education Program from Bush's increasingly laughable Department of Health and Human Services, a $50 million slice of embarrassing government detritus that is now actually encouraging all states to tell their single, youngish residents that they should -- how to put this so you don't shoot coffee through your nose? -- that everyone should avoid sex entirely, until they turn 30.

more at:
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/gate/archive/2006/11/29/notes112906.DTL&nl=fix

[sui generis]

1. did somebody post something here?

I can't see a damn thing. What the hell?

[hippiechick]

2. But .. wait ... it was the 'apple of knowledge' that 'opened the eyes'

... of Adam and Eve, thus causing them to know their nakedness and be expelled from the Garden of Eden ... the GOP's gonna contradict the Bible and say that doin' it closes them thar eyes back up again?

:shrug:

[sui generis]

3. ....unless you're legally married and procreatin' for god & country

Avoid it until 30? I heard your nads could get mouldy and shrivel up or drop off or both.

Also heard that prostatitis and a host of other problems associated with letting your equipment rust was actually bad for you in the long term, speaking as a guy who should be totally blind by now possibly due to overuse of said equipment.

[Bigmack]

4. I always wonder if some of the Repubs'...

dumbshit ideas are planted by some devilishly clever Dem operatives (do they exist?) to make the Repubs look even dumber than they are.

"Let's suggest 'Abstinence until age 30'. Oh, yeah... the Repub right will eat that shit up!!. After that, we'll try 'Don't get naked'. HHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"