Do you think people are less friendly now than in previous decades?

[raccoon]

If you think so, to what do you attribute this?

[Ravy]

1. STFU!!! (n/t)

*grin*

[BlueJazz]

2. Welll....from dealing with folks every day, I would say....

...about the same.
While it's true that some people are more paranoid (with all the news reporting crime..etc),
..a lot of people feel "disconnected" from the world and are looking for someone to share even a small part of their life..

[laylah]

3. I know I am,

something I never thought myself capable of. For me it is the HUGE lack of honor and integrity, along with pervasive ignorance, that I have encountered since my "Menopausal Moment" 4 years ago that led me to leave my beloved Colorado and come back to this God/dess forsaken area called Illinois. I am angry at the ignorance and apathy, along with the dishonesty, I have encountered at every turn here...employers, lawmakers, lawyers, law enforcement, neighbors (one neighbor made comment "Hitler had the right idea" not 30 secs. after my comment that my children and their Dad are Jewish). What is worse, I have no way out...yeah, I'm pretty damned unfriendly.

Jenn

edited for grammar

[Bigmack]

12. Me, too...

I may not live in Illinois - thank god - but I feel very similar to you.

I used to have friends that were repubs, but no more. I find it more difficult to be civil to people who persist in supporting a regime that is destroying our country... even our world.

I used to be tolerant of religion. No more. The fundie Xians have pushed their perverted religion until none of us can avoid being touched by it.
I used to be a quiet atheist. Now I'm scornful of people who believe in their Invisible Friend.

I was a teacher for 30 years, and I never hated ignorance. I dealt with it with understanding every day. No more.

I am much less tolerant. Much more unfriendly.

Am I happy about these changes in how I feel? Absolutely not! I'm also pissed that they pushed these feelings on me.

[RufusEarl]

4. Not anymore unfriendly then in the past,

but scared, nervous,unsure of the future. these are the adjectives i'd use to describe the populace at this time in our history.

[no_hypocrisy]

5. Not just not friendly, but uncivil. What ever happened to

decorum and being polite for the sake of etiquette?

[raccoon]

8. Yes! Yes! I've observed that too.

Some people act like it would cost them money to be civil. Just to speak to another person.

Seems to me a great many people don't want to even fricking speak to you unless you're somebody they might be interested in romantically, or,
(the biggie) they perceive that you have money.

As far as incivil, that could be a whole nother thread. But a lot of people seem to think being a rude, asshole smartass is cute and assertive.

As someone said upthread, part of it may be the media continually harping on crime.

I think geographic mobility is part of it too.

[RaleighNCDUer]

15. Aww, fuck civility.

Actually, there's a lot of conflict caused by what I call the 'southernization' of the US. As the cultural norm shifts, with the southern population growing faster than any other region, and with migration to and from the south continuing at an unprecedented rate, we get a natural expansion of the dichotomies that are endemic to southern culture -- the religious hypocricy, the mask of decorum covering bitter predjudices, the public morality and the private debauchery.

I know this is going to rile the staunch defenders of Dixie, but the fact is the south has the highest teen pregnancy rates, highest abortion rates, highest drunk-driving rates, and crime rates that are way out of proportion to density of population, and I don't want to even get into the southern propensity for violence.

I'm not saying that problems in the south don't occur elsewhere, but only the south seems to be proud of them. What would 'southern literature' be without them?

So when I'm called out for lack of etiquette because of my vocabulary I take it with a big fucking grain of salt.

[no_hypocrisy]

16. But can't there be made a cogent argument in favor of civility?

It DOES make a difference as far as getting people to listen to you, being able to persuade people to come around to your way of thinking, or just getting them to cooperate and compromise. You don't need more friends necessarily, just people who will work with you.

[RaleighNCDUer]

17. Certainly. What I'm saying is there are significant cultural differences

in what is considered civility. I've found since moving to the south that this culture has perfected an infinite number of ways of saying 'fuck you' without ever voicing an obscenity, and if you call them on it there's a wide-eyed "Why would you think that?" response. At the same time I've been called on the carpet for such things as saying to a ringing phone on a busy day, "give me a fucking break" and being overheard by a mortally offended co-worker who was NOT the object of my ire. In my opinon, the covert, veiled attack is much more uncivil than the plainly spoken, casual swear word which is not directed at someone. People around here disagree. This is a clash of cultures, and I haven't the faintest clue how it can be resolved.

[no_hypocrisy]

18. Point conceded, however . . .

There is a saying that goes in effect that diplomacy is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a manner that s/he will look forward to the trip.

[RaleighNCDUer]

22. LOL. Well put. nt

[leftofthedial]

6. screw you.

;-)

[raccoon]

9. Should I have posted this in the lounge, maybe? nt

[Ravy]

11. I think leftofthedial and I were making jokes. The post is fine. nt

[leftofthedial]

14. my dear raccoon

maybe so

[bdamomma]

7. have lost compassion and tolerance for others

and are less friendly.

[Annces]

10. I think it depends on where you have come from

I grew in the middle of a big white flight, and had to be driven to school after that. I think when there is any attempt to hold your fellow down through manipulation, jealousy, resentment - that is a barrier to friendship. Also when you judge someone based on class ranking, that is also no good. If we don't get along as well, it may be because we don't have our comfortable groups together as well as we used to.

[bryant69]

13. People are generally assholes

I think that in times of manners they have to cover up their assholery, but in our times there's less reason to.

Bryant
Check it out --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

19. No.

Definitely not.

[BurtWorm]

20. You got a problem with that?

;)

[napi21]

21. I guess it depends on how far back you want to go.

People were more friendly when most of the US was made up of small towns, where everyone knew everybody, nobody locked their doors, and the kids knew they better behave because if a neighbor saw you doing something wrong, they'd tell your parents.

I blame it mostly on the rise in popularity of the car, TV, and computers. Few people write letters anymore...they send emails. People don't sit out on their front porch and ccchit-chat with their neighbors, they watch TV or playa game on their computer instead. You can't walk to the store, you jump in your car. There's just far less interaction between people!

Don't get me wrong! I get absoloutely CRAZY when my broadband doesn't work! I LOVE my computer, and I spend WAY TOO MUCH TIMe on DU! But I also miss the days of the close knit neighborhood.