Post your Republican corruption/sex/crime Madlibs here!

[buddysmellgood]

I'll start.
Republican representative (name) of (state) was caught rubbing a (noun) on his (body part) whilst at a (event) in clear view of (persons or group). When confronted, (name) said the (sex toy) found in his (noun) did not belong to him and claimed the (drug or fluid) on his (body part) and (body part) was the result of (homeland security function).

[CAG]

1. Republican representative (name) of (state), who cosponsored bill

(number/name) allowing (torture method) be used on anyone caught in the act of performing (homosexual act, act with a minor, act with an animal, act with a lounge chair, act in a car wearing only a train engineers hat while listening to Celine Dion, or act using laundry detergent and WD40), publicly acknowledged that he himself committed (homosexual act, act with a minor, act with an animal, act with a lounge chair, act in a car wearing only a train engineers hat while listening to Celine Dion,or act using laundry detergent and WD40). However, due to his claims that the (homosexual act, act with a minor, act with an animal, act with a lounge chair, act in a car wearing only a train engineers hat while listening to Celine Dion,or act using laundry detergent and WD40) was brought about due to 1) the (parent dropping him on the head, priest-touching, gay neighbor talking to him, viewing of Baywatch episode) incident in his childhood, 2) the (addiction to strip clubs, addiction to sniffing glue, addiction to sniffing underwear)incident as an adult, and 3) the failure of the american people to deport the unsavory amoral bunch known as the (librul media, libruls, Bill Clinton, George Soros), a (Focus on the Family, Family Research Council, Christian Coalition) spokesman indicated that none of this was the good Republican representative (name)'s of (state)'s fault, rather one could blame everything on (Bill Clinton, Bill Clinton, Bill Clinton, or lack of a yellow ribbon on the representatives SUV).