Dear Katherine Harris: I know how you can get the attention you crave!

[Ian_rd]

Dear Kathy,

I know you must be secretly depressed about the lack of respect you've received from your own party during your campaign for Senate. Seeing those balloons drop on an empty stage must tear your heart out. After you were the darling of the Right after your, um, handling of the 2000 election, the GOP chewed you up and spit you out like Hollywood does with an overgrown child actor (What're you talkin' about, Harris?) You must feel like you're standing dateless in the dark corner of a big GOP party, wearing a blue dress stained with stolen votes, looking through the crowd to your former buddies living it up in a sea of campaign cash, crony appointments, and young promiscuous Republican boys.

But I have a solution. It won't get you elected. But it'll get you on the cover of every magazine, newspaper, and on every talk show for the next month and more. What is it? Come clean on the 2000 election. Tell us everything. Tell us what we already know. How did you and Jeb do it? And what additional evidence can you provide?

Unwanted by the GOP? Well, we liberals will take you with open arms. All we ask for is your honesty. Just think of it! Not only will you achieve fame beyond your wildest dreams, but you actually get to do the right thing in the process! How often can a Republican say that? I'm talking history books, baby!

That's the bargain. Be honest and we'll make you famous. Stay the course and you're doomed to be an asterisk in the record of a stolen election that ushered in the most corrupt era in the history of the United States.

All my love,

Ian

[babylonsister]

1. And I'll just bet velvetrevolution might just kick in $250,000 to hear

all about it!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=364&topic_id=2353766

[rock]

2. Hmmm. It's particularly sweet because

as much as she would dearly like the attention, she can't do it. How tantalizing!

[Raster]

3. "...wearing a blue dress stained with stolen votes..."

Oh.My.Gawd!!! Proud to be No. 2. You go, Ian!
:kick:2!

Come on, Kathy...you know you want to. Give ol' jebbie a kick right in the huevos rancheros!!! Show those pigfucking rethuglican bastards just who they are messin' with!!!

[samfishX]

4. I was going to suggest

That she take off her top and show the world her big, fake boobies.

But...your method works, too.


Although I bet mine would get more attention.
I also bet mine would increase the sales of Pepto-Bismol 10fold.

[Coexist]

5. too late... she's already a legend (and a winner!) in her own mind:

Check it out! NOT A PARODY SITE!!

Harris Beats Nelson -- Leads 54% to 45%

Thursday, October 05, 2006

TAMPA, FL- Congresswoman Katherine Harris, the Republican candidate for the United States Senate, soundly defeated Bill Nelson this evening by a 54% to 45% margin in the straw poll conducted at the Lakeland Bi-Annual Politics in the Park. The Harris campaign continues to build momentum, engendering tremendous grassroots support throughout the state with a pro-growth, pro-family message that resonates across the political spectrum.

Congresswoman Harris commented, “I appreciate the strong support of a majority of voters who are disillusioned with Bill Nelson’s lack of leadership and his record of voting against Florida’s best interests. I will fight for Florida in the United States Senate.”

The Lakeland Bi-Annual Politics in the Park straw poll illustrates the widespread support that exists for Harris’ consistent message of cutting taxes, eliminating wasteful spending, protecting the institution of marriage and opposing amnesty for illegal citizens. Congresswoman Katherine Harris is the only candidate with a demonstrated record of leadership who will fight for Florida’s values in the U.S. Senate.

Katherine Harris, the Republican Candidate for the United States Senate, currently serves as the Representative for Florida’s 13th Congressional District. After receiving a Masters in Public Policy from Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government, she continued a distinguished career in public service to her native state that began in the State Senate and as Florida’s last elected Secretary of State. She resides in Longboat Key with her husband Anders Ebbeson and his 24-year-old daughter, Louise along with the constituents of District thirteen.

**SNORT**


:rofl:

[ellenfl]

10. don't laugh . . . most of florida has e-voting. she pulled it off

in 2000, can she pull it off for her own campaign?

ellen fl

[datadiva]

6. I'll make if 5

I enjoyed reading this. :D

[Cocoa]

7. she could stalk a page

that would get her some attention for sure.

[Kurovski]

8. Oh sweet holy shit, I'd open the first chapter of the KH

Democratic fan club.

Come to us Katherine. WE'RE your REAL friends, Katherine. Step into the light Katherine, step into the light.

[Blue-Jay]

9. The GOP has treated her like a cheap whore.

Which is exactly what she deserves. "Thanks for the BJ, but get the hell out of my room."

[TheCowsCameHome]

12. A reverse whore - she pays $10 million to get screwed by the GOP.

Cool, huh?

[TheCowsCameHome]

11. You can trust me Katherine - I'm not like the others.

Go ahead, whisper in my ear and I won't tell a soul.

[PATRICK]

13. Very noble, I suggested revenge

a long while ago. She has been undercut and discouraged- carefully yet unmistakably- by her GOp "allies" and co-perps. Under the "hell hath no fury" adage, she has both the temperament and the provocation to do some serious damage- which is probably one of the pillars that keeps her running.

She is as unlikely to see a bullet coming as to actually, openly, nobly perform that patriotic conversion you mentioned. Apparently no machinery will come to her rescue and her tanking polls she might want to blame on simple lack of support and active sabotage by the GOP. And THEy are the ones telling her she couldn't have "won" anyway? It has to gnaw. No blackmail, no defiance, no glittering campaign skill can change the momentum, but her demeanor is still one of expectation. Most candidates go desperate or glum, no mistaking the inner realization. Harris has just gone nuts. I hope she continues to do so and that the obvious calculation- WAITING for the actual results for herself and the party in November gets tossed in late October.

And that what she might say with the GOP officially dethroned and in free fall out of pure Vendetta and/or skin-saving turning becomes a cruel reality for the Bush dynasty.

The longer she waits, the more certain the "plane crash". She is a loose cannon beyond the realm of logic and calculation. Foley, Cunningham, Delay- none of them could control themselves. But this is Bush material witness #1 for election fraud and de-legitimizing, the final, jail time, coup de grace.

Unhappily, I think the BFEE sees this more clearly than Ms. Harris.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

14. I like your idea

but I suggest that while she's opening up and telling us everything about the 2000 election, she could be wearing Star Trek Klingon make-up, one of those things on her forehead that looks like a snapping turtle's shell. I think that would be a good look for her.

[philly_bob]

15. Stand up, KAH, save your family name!

You're a smart, good-lookin', spirited woman -- but they've abused you, and you let them get away with it.

Think: you come from a prominent Florida family. Would the founders of your family have allowed themselves to be cynically used, then slighted and put aside? What has the Bush administration done to your family name and reputation?

Look, you thought these guys were good Christians when you did their Florida dirty work. Now we all know they weren't.

Come forward and just tell the truth...

cc: with appropriate changes to ex-Prime Ministor Tony Blair.

[Raster]

16. Another K&R!!! Let's get this to the GREATEST page!! Let's get some

stuff going 'round this one!!!:kick:
She knows where the bodies are buried--she helped bury 'em!

On edit: And remember Cruella,er,Katherine, once you lose this election, you get relegated to "one hit wonder" status. Come on girl! You don't have to put up with getting bitch-slapped by a bush*! And you know, Miss Thang, they couldn't have pulled it off with you. And now check out their ungrateful-ass selves. That's a bush* for you. And you don't have to worry about them doing a Wellstone on your ass. HELL, EVERYONE would know. You are sooo safe.

[Fly by night]

17. Hey Katherine. Show us your tits!!

[VeggieTart]

18. Oh, Gaia, no!!! I don't even want to see her FACE

And while some of you may welcome her with open arms, I have severe reservations. She should come clean because it's the right thing to do, not just because she's punishing the slimebag hatemongers who used and discarded her.

Do we really want to welcome a woman with such a tenuous grasp on reality?

[Hubert Flottz]

19. She needs to hook up with Joe LIEberman!

The Perfect pair...of losers!