A letter the the editor in news print need your help before I send it

[Monkeyman]

When will we hear the Truth


Bob Woodward has said "Its getting to the point now where there are 900 attacks a week on American and Iraqi's. Thats more then 100 a day. That is four an hour attacking our forces.The assessment by intelligence experts is that next year,2007,is going to get worse and in public, you have the President and DOD saying oh no things are going to get better."

As a veteran of the Vietnem war I heard this same old song then. We need to have the Speaker of the House J.Dennis Hastert and all Republican Chairmen of the Committees call for hearings on the NIC report. We the People have the right to know the truth.

After three and a half years we have lost 2,700 and over 20,000 wounded. Where is the plan we have been told about to have a victory in Iraq. As Wes Clark said "Stay the Course' is a slogan, not a strategy. You can not keep justifying this war with slogans. When is America going to hear the truth. That this War has made America less safe and there is no end in sight.


This is a draft so can you guys help?

[Wickerman]

1. a couple of suggestions on a great letter

year,2007,is = year, 2007, is


When is America going to hear the truth. That this War has made America less safe and there is no end in sight.

=

When is America going to hear the truth that this War has made America less safe and there is no end in sight?

[jhrobbins]

2. Just a little editing on the first paragraph....

Bob Woodward has said "Its getting to the point now where there are 900 attacks a week on American and Iraqi's. That’s (needs apostrophe) more then (than) 100 a day. That is four an hour attacking our forces. That is one every 15 minutes assaulting our troops (The DOD actually says one every 12 minutes).The assessment by intelligence experts is that next year,2007,is going to get worse and (yet) in public, you have the President and DOD saying, 'oh no things are going to get better.'

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. Questions are best ended with question marks.

A few suggestions -

When did Bob Woodward say what you quote him as saying, and can you cite the source? I have a feeling he did not say that, since one clause doesn't make sense. If you are going to quote, you must quote exactly, otherwise it's slander (or perjury - I get the two mixed up). Also, you have Bob quoting the President and the DOD - that quote needs to be in quotes as well.

Iraqi's is possessive, not plural. Thats is supposed to be a contraction, so it should be "that's", but using contractions in formal writing is ugly, so use "that is". Please put spaces after punctuation.

When you say "As a veteran of the Vietnem war I heard this same old song then", what do you mean by "then"? Perhaps rewriting as, "I was a soldier in the Vietnam War, and I heard that same old song then", assuming that's what you meant. "J.Dennis" should have a space between J. and Dennis, and it should be set off by commas. Committees does not need capitalization in that context; chairmen might not, either, but I am not actually sure in that case.

Don't say we have "lost" people - speak the truth. They've been killed. They are dead.

You have Wes Clark saying something, but you don't end the quote anywhere - use a quote mark to separate it off. And then the phrase 'stay the course' should be in single quotes, like I just did it.

I would move the third paragraph to be the second paragraph. And then explain in the (new) third paragraph what you mean by "NIC report" - say something about the contents, like "The NIC report, from the (whatever organization did it, I forget the groups that worked on it) that clearly states we've created more terrorists, made us less safe, and put America more in danger than it ever has been". Something like that.

Other than these grammar nits, though, that's it - the content is fantastic! I love the imagery of how many attacks an hour we're actually getting.

[Fierce]

4. "If you are going to quote..."

"If you are going to quote, you must quote exactly, otherwise it's slander (or perjury - I get the two mixed up). "

Neither. It's misquoting.

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. I looked it up - it goes under "fraud"

Thanks for causing me to check it out!

Though certainly in many cases, especially letters to the editor, it is merely an unintentional misquoting. But, as Democrats, we need to be sure we are quoting accurately so as to differentiate outrselves from the freeps who do indeed clearly make shit up - and even make up fake citations for their fake bullshit.

[Monkeyman]

5. Thanks you guys I need that kind of help