The State Is An Abusive Parent And What Can Be Done About It?

[mntleo2]

With a heavy heart I created a blog for a little girl I love with all my heart. I built it out of desperation because I have no voice for her and she is heading towards perhaps a misery that no child deserves ~ especially a child who already has a place of endearment that is well established in a lot of people's hearts who would never hurt her, who love her almost as much as I do. If the State has its way however, that will soon end for her and they will send her into the private hell of becoming just a burden and a piece of shit for people who could really give a damn for her.

So I created this blog because the State says I cannot voice the truth in their courts. As a matter of fact I have no voice at all I can raise for her unless they decide I do, which at this time they do not allow. I cannot tell a judge what I know even though I am a family member and I know the sordid truth of her parents.

But nobody told me I couldn't speak out here on DU and this is also crossed posted on KOS. Maybe someone out there does know what can be done, already I have written reports, visited with my legislator, called the social workers, worked with the guardian, told them again and again what I know, as well as made it plain I was willing to raise this little one myself rather than allow her to become perhaps just another drug income.

Here is my blog, it has all the details and what I have seen so far, the agony for the pain it could cause, what I feel about it, and about what I see coming:

http://www.angelfire.com/poetry/mntleo2/


Please read it and perhaps you know something I don't know about how to help her or she is going to be sent straight to hell by her so-called “protectors” the State. The system that is full of “experts” also actively ready to allow her abuse, just so they can say they followed all the rules ~ oh yes and make sure they are not liable for any careless mistakes they have made. Who gives a damn what REALLY happens, right? Just so long as THEY all escape without harm, who cares about a little drug infested, HIV exposed baby born without even a home when she first came into the world?

I care, that’s who cares!

Cat In Seattle

[elehhhhna]

1. cat, I read your linked post.

Flee with the child, cat. God's name from the lips of that child is "Nana".

Flee.

[mntleo2]

2. Oh I Cried When You Said That!

It is my instinct too ~ until I spoke with others who think this would be the best thing to do and we all agreed it would not do her much good if I become a criminal, a "child kidnapper".

Recently in my state a child's own mother, who was being forced to give medical treatment that she felt was not in her son's interest, tried to run with her son . She wanted him to have alternative treatment and does not believe in the medical system they have (for good reason I am also dealing with it). When they found her, they arrested her and convicted her of child endangerment, though she was let off on probatiobn because they could not deny what she did was out of a deep love for her son.

Even though I am the mother she will never have, as her great aunt, I would have even less standing and nobody would be able to defend me as the mother above. It my instinct as though, it is all I can do to stop myself because deep in my soul I hear, "Run, RUN!". And the other truth is, I just don't have anyplace to run TO.


Thanks for writing it means a lot to me. i think I will try to post this next week where it will get a little more attention. I am also thinking of calling in the media. How can anybody ignore the beautiful face I have posted of my "little Nubian princess?"

Love
Cat

[MoseyWalker]

3. two thoughts come to mind off the top of my head

1) become a certified foster parent for children, youth and families/social services/whatever they call it where you are.

2) continue to make referrals/reports about the conditions in the home. Workers are required by law to investigate every report that is not screened out. Be certain to include details.

I wish you the best.

[elehhhhna]

4. KICK.

[dsc]

5. This fetishism with genetics is assine

Because this man sired her he gets full say and you get none. Totally assine. I hope this can be reversed but I know better than to hold my breath.

[Bluerthanblue]

6. Cat, while I hate what

this would put you AND her through, have you thought of going to the press with this??? Its a sad and difficult last resort, but if you could get someone to give your story exposure, I believe it could really help put some important pressure on the 'system'.

While the 'child welfare' system has been hung up on 'reuniting families' if reasonably possible, putting this beautiful, vunerable sweet spirit into the hands of someone who has NO CLUE what adequate parenting is, and ripping her out of a LOVING SAFE NURTURING home, the only home she's known in her short life would NOT be 'in the best interest of the child'.

One question, do you recieve financial compensation for her through the state? As screwed up as that is, they may be trying to reduce thier obligation financially- Any chance of adoption?

As a person who experienced a childhood that was far less than ideal, and who suffered as a result of 'quick fixes' by those who thought they were doing 'the best thing' this touches my heart in a deep place.

People who abuse animals, who neglect, and mistreat them are refused the right to adopt from most animal shelters. Parents who abandon and neglect thier children should not be given more slack than that. How can this continue to happen???

Any CASA volunteers in your area?-

You will be in my thoughts an prayers..... I wish I could help--- I wish situations like this never had to come up ever again-

Thank you for your loving nurturing spirit-
Stay strong- and be good to yourself
I care about you both too-


blu

[elehhhhna]

7. CASA! Excellent idea.

[mntleo2]

8. Yes I Am Thinking about ...

... all of those things you have said. She does have a CASA worker who feels she is better off with me, but she also is not allowed to openly say that because of the parents' rights issues. So she is forced to go along with the charade as well.

Believe me, I am all for parent's rights. I have three children of my own I have raised and it is important that kids be around their parents, IMO. But to me, this is beyond pale, the way the father is acting, spreading his tainted seed into whomever will lay down and let him.

I have considered going to the press, and may soon, if I can find someone who will listen and figure out what the message should be. I have worked through my activism in poverty, with a reporter who might know of someone who would write about the case. I am also noting the byline of another reporter whom was reading in a local newspaper here in my internet research about a case in my state a couple years ago where a man spread HIV to about 16 women and was convicted to 15 years in prison for it. I am not so sure what it means when you carelessly create children who become HIV exposed, as well as infect fertile young women (I do not think "Instant Mommy" is 25 yet and already with two kids). Dad is much older, almost 40 I think. I am not sure I would be the one who could be very impartial about it all because I am so disgusted and filled with anger, which makes me want to be careful as to what I have to say, lol.

Thank you all for writing. I may repost this next week. Please feel free to send this little one's story to people who might know more. I did find out some information from a child welfare person in Massachusetts on Daily Kos I am going to look into as well. Still, there are never enough ideas, I am all ears and will do what I can.

I am filled with joy that anybody thinks I am writing about something that is pertinent and matters (after all, it is not a white runaway bride or anything, lol). I cannot thank you all enough!

Love
Cat