Man-I can't WAIT to start Torturin' Terrorist Heathens, can you?!?!

[Philosoraptor]

I'm just DROOLIN' for the day when I can start torturin' them dam ferners with the towels on their heads, their god sucks and ours rules, and as soon as that new law the prezdent made about no prosecution for torturin' terrists, ahmo git me some real good torturin' tools down to walmart and first thing ahmo do is interrogate a guy I know at work from some ferrin nation I can't pronounce and make this jerk spill his guts, I can't hardly wait and only the librals and democrat appeasers are holdin' me back!

I'm just itchin' to torture some insurgents usin' the new clarified definitions, cause waterboardin' and panties on the head just don't seem harsh enough fer these gitmo guys, I wanna git even for that humiliatin' we had to take after Abu Gabarab, and flush me some Korans and deprive some o' them dead enders of a few days o' sleep and make em listen to Rosanne Barr sing the national anthem at top volume till they confess for nine one one!

If the Army'll have a convicted and registered sex offender and petty thief with almost a third grade education ahmo try to git in intelligence, that's the ones that git to torture ayrabs, and that's the outfit for me, cause I am just bitin' at the bit to git to torturin' them damn killers and makin' em talk, ooh-ooh-uh uh uh uh--ah ah ah just. can't. wait!

[HysteryDiagnosis]

1. Many of them heathens would never have taken up the sword

against anything had we not bombed the hell out of their country unprovoked. Their relatives must mean something to them, go figure.

[C_U_L8R]

2. Just wait until next year when Democrats seize power

we'll have all these handy-dandy ways to legally spy on
republicans and torture em however like. Yummy.
The poor stupid freepers don't even realize the trap they've
stumbled into. How about a little waterboard Mister Rimjob???


(dripping with sarcasm, don't cha know)

[Philosoraptor]

3. FORCED to watch Oprah underwater

[nealmhughes]

4. I think we need a cabinet level post: "Terrorist Fynder Generalle".

All we need do is update the basic early modern tomes on witches and change the word "witch" to "terrorist."

Change "Devil" to "Mohammad", look for "terrorist marks" vice "witch marks," etc.

I don't think John Ashcroft is busy these days, he'd be perfect!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

5. "Grand Inquisitor" will do, and it has solid historical antecedents.

In fact, the Spanish Inquisition developed an effective system; all we have to do is update it a bit. They even used waterboarding.

And nobody EVER expects the Spanish Inquisition.