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Retirement offer to US Navy Officers

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napi21 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-20-06 10:10 AM
Original message
Retirement offer to US Navy Officers
Retirement Bonus

The American Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer
an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for
retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line
between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those
two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of
his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked
out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked
out with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who,
when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of
my weenie to my testicles."

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider ,
explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had
received.

But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him
providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop em," which
he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the
Chief's weenie and began to work back.

"Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"

The old Chief calmly replied, " Vietnam."


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fasttense Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-20-06 10:13 AM
Response to Original message
1. Great and very funny. n/t
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Shipwack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-20-06 10:22 AM
Response to Original message
2. Thanks for the laugh...
I've been running around all day trying to get things settled for my own Navy retirement, adn this brought a much needed smile.
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BOSSHOG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-20-06 10:32 AM
Response to Reply #2
5. Congrats Shipmate
I retired four years ago. I hope your transition goes as smoothly as mine did.
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Geoff R. Casavant Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-20-06 10:25 AM
Response to Original message
3. Very funny
But I doubt any Chief worth his salt would be caught dead saying the word, "weenie."
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BOSSHOG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-20-06 10:30 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. Good catch Teammate
We throw weenies on the grill. We walk with a discernable swagger. and our favorite letter is aaaarrrrggh!!!
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