Do something great for Christ, grow some berries and fight!

[splat@14]

Should result in better attendance on football Sunday, at least.
Splat



First, we'll hear from our new favorite coot, Coach Dave Daubenmire, who says "Wake Up Pastor! Your Men Are Bored!"

"A poll recently conducted by California-based Barna Research Group, found 85 percent of Christian men are not "spiritually challenged," according to a statement from Promise Keepers, a Colorado-based men's organization.

<...>

The nature of man is to fight. For thousands of years men have filled stadiums to watch gladiators battle. Whether it is a Roman Coliseum or a modern-day college football game, men turn out in droves to live vicariously through the warriors on the field. The battle is exhilarating, touching us in the deepest part of our maleness. Deep in his heart, any man worthy of his testosterone longs for the battle. Pastors, do you really want to know why men are not "spiritually challenged"?

They have no battle.

Well, based on Coach Dave's examples, I think the real problem is that the men don't have any battles during church that they can live through vicariously. So, the solution would be to schedule some Roman Coliseum-style spectacles during services -- you know, a couple of Christians versus some ACLU lions or secularist gladiators. Optimally, the Christians would be the pastor and a prominent Christian like Coach Dave, but to increase the sense of audience identification, two men from the congregation could be selected (either via a lottery, or based on their unsatisfactory donations to the collection plate).

http://blogs.salon.com/0002874/