A lighter moment, a laugh or two: Funniest DU threads ever

[hvn_nbr_2]

Last night on this thread
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x2101970
"Freeper responses to ABC's piece of filth fiction"
someone said, "This is one of the funniest threads I've ever read on DU." And I got to thinking, what are the funniest threads ever on DU?

I searched my bookmarks and found two of my favorites.

My favorite funniest thread that I can remember is this one:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=364&topic_id=300259
OP subject: "I hope Cindy gets back in touch with her last shread of dignity and goes a"
Summary: Freeper comes to DU, mods let us play with him for a couple hours before finally locking the thread. Some of the misspellings kept appearing in other threads for weeks.
Key words and lines: spocksmen, peice of shit dictator from Ven., she realy crossed the line, her unseemly jester, sempithy, cazy woman

My favorite funny one that I ever started was this one:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=364&topic_id=349888
OP subject: "I really wish you'd tell me what you're talking about."
Summary: My frustration with posts that don't tell what they're talking about and expect us all to read the poster's mind. The only thread I ever started that got to the #1 most recommendations position.
Key words and lines: Janet Doobydoo is an asshat, Bibby Bingo NOW, "I don't know if you're pointing me to an article to read, or a cartoon, or a song, or an animation (that) will go on for forty minutes and make noises that cause other people in the office to think I'm watching porno war movies of laughing hyenas smashing glassware," JANET DOOBYDOO FOR PRESIDENT!! Sadly, the Doobydoo for Pres banner that someone made has disappeared from the web since then.

So search your memory, search your bookmarks, search the archives, tell us your choices for funniest thread ever, and give us all a good laugh. And let's hope we don't overload the archives server.

[Blue_Tires]

1. "CALL CONGRESS --- RIGHT FUCKING NOW"

lolz

[bling bling]

3. Hee hee.

I remember that one. That was hilarious.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

16. My favorite part of that thread were the posters that either...

a) Took the message seriously and were upset that we were joking

b) Took offense at "FUCKING" for reasons ranging from 8-year-olds to Jesus.

c) Any combo of the above.

[bling bling]

27. That thread reminded me of something that happened last year.

I can't remember the exact wording but someone posted a thread titled something like

"Holy SHIT. Something BIG is going on, turn on CNN RIGHT NOW!!!!" The OP was absolutely hysterical with panic. I think he even started another alarming thread along the same lines. As DU'ers pressed for more information the OP calmed down enough to explain that CNN was displaying coded messages through the news ticker at the bottom of the screen. He gave a couple of examples as "proof" that something HUGE was about to happen but it made absolutely no sense. The threads were locked before I could ever find out of the OP was really being serious or if it was a joke.

That's how I felt about the 'CALL CONGRESS RIGHT FUCKING NOW' thread. I never was quite sure whether it was a joke or if the OP was being serious.

But all the responses made me laugh out loud. I tried to find the thread a few minutes ago but advanced search was down.

[recoveringrepublican]

32. Here you go, link.

I had it saved I was laughing so hard.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=1871714&mesg_id=1871714

[bling bling]

35. That thread is so fucking funny.

Thanks for the link. I thought the funniest reply was right at the beginning to the person who asked "what should I tell them? n/t." The reply: "Duh - not to fly anywhere!" That one totally cracks me up for some reason.

[Beaverhausen]

52. Oh my god that is too funny

thanks for the link :hi:

[Blue_Tires]

60. thanks!!

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

13. Did anyone ever find out why we were supposed to call Congress? nt

[LSK]

34. oh yeah, that one is the winner

:rofl:

[helderheid]

47. That was one of my favorites! I just giggled again :)

[Tyler Durden]

70. Remind me to piss on YOU then next time you feel strongly about something.

Ha, Ha. Very fucking funny.

Just another reason to avoid GD once in a while. For a LONG while.

SAY, why don't YOU post a thread with all of YOUR "recomended" threads or your PUBLISHED threads and let's compare notes.

NOT very humorous. Keep your day job.

[ghostsofgiants]

77. Come on dude...

It was so alarmist yet never stated what it was being alarmist about. It was ripe for mockery, and the subsequent mockery was hilarious. Sorry if it hurt your feelings, but you've gotta lighten up and realize that, despite your good intentions, you opened yourself up to be poked fun at with that thread.

Perfect example: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x1871714#1871759

[bling bling]

2. This is the only funny thread I ever bookmarked:

I inherited a mixed animal from my uncle (or something like that).....

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=624815

[LTR]

14. That was a great thread!

I remember that one! Damn funny!

Here's some of my favorites:

I'm the Son of God. Ask Me anything! by 'Jesus Christ'
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=106088

i'm more patriotic than ANY of you people...!
http://www.democraticunderground.com/cgi-bin/duforum/duboard.cgi?az=show_thread&om=30171&forum=DCForumID35&archive=

Chihuahuas: Dogs or overgrown rats?
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=697526

The "I lost my keys" thread in the old "Ask The Administrators" forum that went on forever (no link available, since ATA is offline)

The "When will this thread die?" thread that cracked over 1000 replies and probably crashed a few systems.

And of course, "Inside The Freeper Lounge"
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=194712

Here's some more funny ones:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=880020

[hvn_nbr_2]

36. More patriotic than any of you--I learned some DU history from that one.

Apparently back then, they gave a running post count even after 1000 posts. Back in '02, Will Pitt already had 15402 posts!

[hootinholler]

67. I don't know if it was presented like it is now,

But you can always look at someone's profile to see post count (like it matters) you have 1844 when I looked at you.

-Hoot

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

68. I asked Skinner to help me find my keys last week.

The bastard ignored me... *shakes fist angrily at the tubes of the internets*

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=2082008&mesg_id=2084931

[Tess49]

21. This one is my all time favorite. I stayed up so late

reading it that I was late for work the next day.

[bling bling]

30. I was blown away by that thread.

I couldn't stop reading it either once I started. Not only was it hilarious, but it was absolutely brilliant, IMO.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

61. I don't get it.

[bling bling]

63. You had a lot of people going there for awhile.

Ever since that thread I often look at your posts with a degree of suspicion before I decide if you're being serious or not. Usually I can't make up my mind about it.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

64. Me, too. Don't go HERE:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x2130972

[ScreamingMeemie]

4. I cannot post a link because it is in the archives which are turned

off, but the Dem_Strategist thread... The one where he/she called us all checker players while he/she him/herself was playing chess. I still use that to this day. It was during the Primary wars... but I still use it. Often times I will post,"I'll just grab my checker board and be going then."

[LTR]

17. Archives? You want ARCHIVES???

Well, here ya go:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/cgi-bin/duforum/duboard.cgi?az=latest_threads

[ScreamingMeemie]

19. Yeah, but they cannot be searched tonight.

:hi:

[Dem2theMax]

5. There was a huge, no really, HUGH, thread once that had

someone posting as Jesus. It wasn't so much funny, although it was here and there, as it was profound in many ways. Whoever the "Jesus" was, he or she was pretty darned brilliant. I bookmarked it and lost it somewhere long ago. And I don't have the search feature right now so I can't look for it. But if anyone knows what I'm talking about, please find it and put it in this thread. It was priceless DU.

[LearnedHand]

7. Here y'are!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=106088

I thought it was hilarious, too.

[MuseRider]

15. Jesus Christ was a freeper??????

A big old tombstone for Jesus. He disrupted poorly? Damn.

That was funny.

[Dem2theMax]

20. Bless you! I HAD to say that. LOL.

THAT'S the one! Thank you so much. I just read through it and it touched me as much this time as it did the first time I read it. It was funny, but whoever it was that posted as Jesus, he or she really hit the nail on the head. Absolutely priceless. I recommend it to everyone. Take the time to read it. It's worth it. And BRAVO to "Jesus," whoever you are.

[LearnedHand]

28. I loved it, too

Revisited it in my bookmarks a few times since. Brilliant!

[renate]

39. "Jesus" made a funny

"Mom's doing great. Though she's threatening to avoid checking her Prayer Messaging mailbox because of all the right wing Catholics asking her to prevent gay marriages. What do they want her to do? Appear on a tortilla in Scalia's lunch box??"

:rofl:

[Dem2theMax]

40. There were quite a few laughs in that thread.

What amazes me is that whoever did it, they knew their bible/religion, but they had quite the sense of humor about it as well. Then someone asked a question about Jesus' work in carpentry, and the answer was sobering. I'm so glad I have it bookmarked now.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

11. Jesus got tombstoned!

We killed Jesus! THE LIBERALS HAVE DESTROYED JESUS!!!!

REPENT! REPENT!

THE RAPTURE IS NIGH!!!!

[ScreamingMeemie]

12. Yes... but... It made me cry...

when he was tombstoned that is... and then I waited around for 3 days...and.... nothing. Big Fat Zero. What a letdown. :hi:

[LearnedHand]

18. Dang! I wondered why we never heard from Jesus again! n/t

[madinmaryland]

72. Apparently Jesus answered Maveric's request.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=106088#108929

99. Will the Red Sox ever win the World Series again?
And did getting rid of Babe Ruth really warrant such a curse?
Could you ask him to cut us some slack here?

..snip


:rofl:

Just took a year!!!

[Cooley Hurd]

6. Our little freeper mascot coldiggs! That thread has to be the funniest...

...EVER!:rofl:

Don't forget the Nelsons!

:rofl::spray::rofl:

[LearnedHand]

8. I don't know what this says about me ...

... but here are a couple of my favorites:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=395882
(In which Khephra queries DU about remedies for zipping himself in his trousers)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=287194
(In which Archae explains what the REAL WMDs are)

:evilgrin:

[Dem2theMax]

23. OMG, I just read the Khep post. I am howling with laughter.

God, I miss him so much. I hope he knows he's still takin' care of us DU'ers down here. :hug: to Khep

[LearnedHand]

29. Me, too

It was hard just to read the subject line, much less the back-and-forth that followed.

[uppityperson]

9. The spoksman thread! Thank you. Here are 2 more that I enjoyed.

And Oscar's link further down this topic! Good threads.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=4854812
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=3738086

[Salviati]

10. I inherited a mixed animal from Uncle living in woods.

from A-Schwarzenegger:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=624815

[Cameron27]

62. Oh god, that thread is amazing.

I read it last night, and it's brilliant, I was sorry when it ended.

If A-Schwarzenegger starts publishing--I'm buying.

[soup]

22. Here's one of my all-time favorites

This Florida Circus Has Gotten So Bizarre >>>
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=3349832

[Dem2theMax]

24. I've just bookmarked THIS thread. Now every time I'm down

over something * has done (which will be every day..sigh) I'll come here and read one of the recommended threads. Thanks for thinking of doing this. It's great!

[Tess49]

25. Okay, now I'm going to bookmark this thread so I can

read some of these tomorrow. I opened one and immediately started laughing. I can't stay up all night again.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

26. "WOOHOO I'M A CENTRIST - I need a hug now!"

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=5597436

Some choice lines...
"Pfft. if you were a good liberal, you wouldn't go to Block Island
you'd go to Fire Island."
"You're homophobic, aren't you?!"
"I'm not homophobic but...
I heard it's called Fire Island because it's filled with flaming sodomites and that's just sick."

[T Town Jake]

31. Here, indeed, was one of the funniest ever threads:

"witness fundie guilt over masturbation"

On edit: spelling.

[Withywindle]

33. "Hey! That's not Barack Obama!"

Controversial, and losing something with a lot of the pictures now missing. However, I'm a Chicagoan, and I'm not ashamed to admit I peed myself a little.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=2676361

The archives are unsearchable tonight, but I got that from my old bookmark to another collection thread from a year or so back:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x2759526

Lots of oldies but goodies there.

[Glenda]

66. that one's funny!

:rofl:

[Mandate My Ass]

76. The Obama thread was hilarious

:rofl:

[DesEtoiles]

37. that photo of Hastert and Bush in the lab coats; Hastert=HR Puff n Stuff

[BlackVelvetElvis]

38. "Unseemly jester"! Ha!

That would make a great screenname for someone.
I remember that thread. Thanks for posting this!

[me b zola]

41. The "Keif" thread from the old election 2004 forum

It was making fun of Ken Blackwell after an appearence on KO's Countdown. :rofl:

[LTR]

42. Morning kick

We could all use a good laugh in GD.

[Chimichurri]

43. very funny! I loved the freeper one - it was cazy!

[WilliamPitt]

44. "Bees in your head" and other smash hits

"Bees"
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x3251889#3252063

"Eyesroll Visits The Vintage Store"
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x1576346

Things NOT to say when seeing "The Passion"
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=818212&mesg_id=818212

[slackmaster]

45. There was one called something like "Talking chimp amazes scientists"

That was my favorite of all time.

[soup]

46. Whatever happened to Janet Doobydoo?

Is she still the same old asshat? How's her campaign going?

That post is a classic, hvn_nbr_2. You managed to get your point across with humor, no offense was taken, and the hilarity that ensued truly developed into one of the funniest threads ever.

It was a joy to revisit it this morning. Feels good to laugh. Thank you.

[blonndee]

48. I remember that one you started. I was about to fall out of my chair

laughing like a loon.

[Lars39]

49. Here's a few I had bookmarked:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=593670

Seven Days Underground
http://www.democraticunderground.com/articles/01/01/010127_7days.html

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=317905

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=245501#247138

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=106554

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And how I wish I'd found a way to save some of Magic Rat's emoticon trilogies...they were hilarious. :D

[Nye Bevan]

50. In the old "Ask the Administrators" forum

someone once started a thread in which they asked how to start a thread.

[tallahasseedem]

51. Kick

:kick:

[AwakeAtLast]

53. The flamefest about cooking chicken

DO NOT - I repeat - DO NOT mention Corn Flakes!

I also cry while reading that Obama, not Obama thread. That one got inspirational!

:hi:

[Beaverhausen]

54. Here's one of my favs in which we skewer a freeper

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=4270629

[jayfish]

55. From A Personal Perspective, I Like This One.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=1305029

I'm surprised it wasn't pulled. :evilgrin:

Jay

[Glenda]

56. "Jesus Christ on a Trailer Hitch"

I know there is a better thread than this, but at least this is the pic



http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=664429&mesg_id=664470

[greendog]

57. "My 10 year old nails a freeper ... again."

:7There was one similar(only funnier)to this but I couldn't find it:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x1508576

[lies and propaganda]

58. KILLED ME!

that was comedy gold!

[Phoebe Loosinhouse]

59. There was one about a person attempting to turn themselves into a cat

sorry, that's all I remember except that some of the comments were so funny that I just laughed so hard, people had to come check on me and then of course you can't even begin to try to explain it. Maybe someone else remembers that thread.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

65. Yeah um...

that person still posts on here. I missed that thread though.

[Jamastiene]

74. Now, that looks like an interesting experiment.

I'm disappointed that I didn't start that thread. I didn't see it. If you do find a link, please PM me. Do you remember any of the subject line from the OP in the thread?

[IdaBriggs]

69. "I want Clinton & His Powerful Penis Back. Bush's Is Weak & Unmanly."

I'm still proud of that one -- I started it myself, and ended up on the greatest page for one of the first times. It still cracks me up! :)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=3846546

[madinmaryland]

71. This is one is short and direct, and cracked me up..

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=132&topic_id=2507034

I actually miss his postings.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

73. And it really was "right the fuck now."

Skinner tombstoned him in the same minute.

[ghostsofgiants]

75. Ahh, that one made me smile.

[Bake]

78. That was freakin' hysterical!

But I do miss Walt, dammit. I forgot what he did to get tombstoned (other than ask for it, of course!).

Bake

[Bake]

79. Reminds me of what kind of place DU used to be ... sigh

This place used to be brilliant, funny, incisive, all those good adjectives. The "more patriotic than you" thread was a classic; now it seems that we have "more liberal than you" threads where they're not joking!

The Jesus thread was just the best. Where did He/She go, anyway?

Sigh.

Bake