If your wife supports you financially, then don't complain that she is

[Nikki Stone 1]

a Career Woman.

Period.

Just be grateful that she's willing to support you.

[Nozebro]

1. If your HUSBAND supports you financially, then don't complain that he

is often too busy or too tired to "take you out".

Period.

Just be grateful that he's willing to support you.

[Nikki Stone 1]

3. Thanks for bumping my post

Appreciate it. :)

[Midlodemocrat]

5. .

:eyes:

Apparently you didn't see the article to which the OP is referring.

[meegbear]

22. .

:eyes:

Apparently the OP didn't reference the article to which the OP is referring.

[Midlodemocrat]

24. Didn't you see that other thread. The Forbes thread?

It's HUGH I tells ya, HUGH!

[meegbear]

31. LOL1111

No, I didn't, but I'll check it out. Thanks :hi:

[Nikki Stone 1]

33. Cool

:)

[meegbear]

40. Found it ...

no wonder I didn't see it. I hang in Latest, Lounge and GLBT and missed it in Latest.

Thanks :hi:

[Nikki Stone 1]

25. No. I should have, although the context seemed fairly obvious

Forbes article followed by silly post this morning which I didn't think deserved to be bumped by argumentation.

[Nikki Stone 1]

27. It's all over the morning shows too

Saw it on CBS but it was on NBC as well

[Midlodemocrat]

29. Yeah, I thought it was fairly obvious, too.

:shrug:

[Nikki Stone 1]

32. Well, not everyone watches morning TV I guess

I didn't used to either. It started this summer for me.

[Midlodemocrat]

16. Your wife, if you have one, sure is lucky!!!!

:thumbsdown:

[Shakespeare]

34. oink, oink

Just wanted to communicate in a mode in which you're fluent.

[Midlodemocrat]

36. LOL.

:rofl:

[Nikki Stone 1]

2. Before it sinks

:kick:

[unpossibles]

4. no shit

my wife and I work equally and share equally (or try to - there are some things we're each better at or do more, but try to maintain balance). When she was looking for work, I supported her and when i was looking she supported me. During that time, I tried to do as much as possible to accommodate and show her how appreciative I was.

As I said in the other thread, this should not be a gender thing - all people need to know how to balance work and personal life, and communicate it to their S.O.

[eShirl]

8. you're being entirely too reasonable

for DU this morning :D

[Nikki Stone 1]

18. Ain't that the truth!

:)

[Nikki Stone 1]

11. Great post!

I think that you have the idea arrangement.

Some friends of mine, though, have opted for a stay-at-home dad situation, which is great for them as the wife in the marriage makes the better salary. I have no problem with ANY arrangement that really works for two people and their families.

What I DO have a problem with is the Forbes story and some of the reactions to it, even on DU.

[Solo_in_MD]

19. Write the social contract of your marriage carefully

Modern marriages/relationships need to flex over time. The nuclear family with a single male breadwinner is history, if it ever really existed.

In our marriage the circumstances have varied widely over the years. It was because we were both flexible that things have worked out. Then again, being in the military when we got started tended to force that. We found, like you, that working to our individual strengths, and teaching each other were key. We also found that a help with our daughters. They grew up seeing us sharing the workload, and out split was somewhat atypical as to task type (I use a sewing machine better than she does).

Financially, who is the higher income producer has switched back and forth. Right now I am seriously ahead, but it also means living away from home and is temporary.

[TygrBright]

39. Marriage is a partnership...

...and although peoples' definitions of "partnership" vary widely (especially in relation to marriage!) it's generally accepted that it means all parties to the partnership make a contribution and all parties benefit.

Where partnerships get in trouble is when the values they define to each party's contribution, and the values they assign to each party's benefits, differ widely among the partners.

If you accept the goal of the partnership as being the formation of a unit that sustains everyone in the unit economically, socially, and emotionally, then each party needs to contribute in some measure to each of those areas. You run into trouble when one partner doesn't share the other partner's priorities for (as an example) emotional sustenance, and values her or his contribution to that part of the partnership far more highly than their partner's contribution. Or feels that their partner is getting a far greater level of benefit than he or she is.

With regard to the economic aspects of marriage, a partnership that ONLY counts revenue as the measure of economic benefit runs a lot of risk, especially when the revenue contribution is heavily lopsided. A partnership that recognizes expense management, asset management, and liability management as equally important to economic well-being can allocate those responsibilities in a way that balances the contributions of both partners, and enhances the perception of benefits.

That all sounds very abstract, but what it comes down to is that a spouse who doesn't contribute much to the revenue side of the economic equation can nevertheless be crucial to the economic whole by managing the partnership's budget wisely, controlling expenses and getting the maximum possible bang for each buck, working to add value to the partnership's assets (maintaining and/or improving the home, property, business, etc.,) and minimizing liabilities using many different strategies. At the same time, a spouse not generating much of the total revenue can enhance the value of the partnership for both by raising the level of 'lifestyle amenities' in all kinds of ways, and carrying a larger share (but NOT the whole) of the contribution burden in social and emotional areas. If the revenue-generating spouse understands and values these benefits the same way, the value of the contributions can offset (and more!) the value of the revenue.

Anyone who looks at the revenue side as the only, or even the most, important contribution to the economic aspect of the marriage partnership is setting the marriage up for chaos, strife, and failure.

dogmatically,
Bright

[MissMarple]

6. I won't grouse about Career Men, either.

;)

[Nikki Stone 1]

13. Hey, my dad was a Career Man

Back when we could all exist on one salary. Worked like a dog, too. He's my hero. (Other than Paul Krugman who is also my hero)

[Kajsa]

7. Appreciation and Gratitude

are vital to good relationships.

;-)

[BOSSHOG]

9. I totally love my Career Woman Wife

We have been married more than 30 years and she has been employed every day of that time. She has followed my sorry ass around the country with my Naval Career and has worked at every stop. I've been retired for four years, spending my time dicking around (and bringing home a nice check once a month) and my wife gets up every morning and pursues her career. Just another reason I love her. We support each other. There is no his money and her money, its our money.

Thanks for bringing the subject up.

[Nikki Stone 1]

20. Military life can be hard on families

If I haven't said so before, thank you (and your wife) for your service to this country.

[hlthe2b]

26. If you and your wife haven't reproduced... do us a favor....

LET US CLONE YOU (both)!!!!!!!!!! We need more like you. Kudos for your enlightenment.

[Nikki Stone 1]

28. But our pResident is against cloning!

That half man half horse thing bothers him. :sarcasm:

[BOSSHOG]

30. That's very kind of you

but to improve on your suggestion, clone my wife twice and leave me out of the equation. We never had children, not by choice, just didn't happen. About five years into our marriage we got checked for fertility. Doctor said both of us could have all the babies we wanted, but it just never happened. We are the only siblings of both of our families who don't have children. As my wife likes to say we have no children but she has me.

[notadmblnd]

38. it was like that in our marriage too

no his or hers, just ours. Sometimes he carried me and others I carried him. I think if people looked at marriage as more of a partnership instead of as the opportunity to possess another, many more would be successful.

[Caoimhe]

10. Thank GOD for career women!!

All those amazing teachers, police officers, attorneys, firefighters, nurses, doctors, pilots, scientists, governors, etc... this country would be a lot different without them! Thank you to all who strive to be all you can be and by your success shove the misogynists to the curb to lick their self-inflicted wounds..

[Nikki Stone 1]

35. Ok, that cat pic is just too cute!

And a nice massage would feel good about now, too. :)

[RB TexLa]

12. Mine supports herself, as I support myself. Isn't that what adults do?

:shrug:

[Nikki Stone 1]

15. You are just far too logical!

:)

[swag]

14. Couchboys need to learn humility.

[Nikki Stone 1]

17. What's a Couchboy?

I think my sister might be dating one.

[Caoimhe]

21. I had one once

lazy good for nothing, wanted to sponge off me. I wouldn't mind having a househusband, if I had kids and a house.. but this POS would laze around the apartment all day eating and watching television, then stay up all night watching movies while I struggled to sleep. Needless to say.. he was catapulted out of my life long ago. From what I hear he's not changed. Never again. I married someone who has a career of his own, and when he gets time off that I don't.. he cleans the house, does dishes, laundry and cooks. I do the same when I have time. We share responsibilities. THAT is what makes a healthy marriage, IMHO.

[Nikki Stone 1]

23. Oh God, she IS dating a couchboy!

And a very insecure one. She wants to marry him, so I'm going to have to button my lip and act nice, but the guy has no interests outside of TV and internet surfacing. He doesn't work, doesn't volunteer anywhere, doesn't have a hobby, doesn't do much of anything. My sister makes a great salary but never has any money anymore. And he's not even attractive. I guess the sex must be good. :(

[BlooInBloo]

37. What? Did DUers write the Forbes article? Sheesh.

Why the fuck are you yelling at the people who are on your fucking side?

[maddezmom]

41. locking

Do not start a new topic in order to continue a flame war from another discussion thread.