How the rapture got screwed up.

[Cyrano]

You think it's easy to pull off a rapture? Everything that could have gone wrong yesterday, did go wrong.

The Iranians and Syrians told everyone to bug off when told they had to play the Armageddon bad guys.

The Jews, who were supposed to be "cast into the pit," spent all day arguing about where the entrance to the pit was.

Robertson, Dobson and Falwell caused a riot when they tried to push to the front of the line.

Jesus's golden chariot had a broken wheel.

Satan was working with a Julian calendar while everyone else was using the Gregorian one.

Wealthy Christians revolted when they were asked to walk through the eye of a needle.

Well, a new date will be set as soon as some of these wrinkles are ironed out.

[bryant69]

1. Just to clear one point up

who claimed that yesterday would be the rapture?

Bryant
Check it out --> http://politicalcomment.blogspot.com

[Cyrano]

4. You didn't get the memo? I guess you weren't invited, Bryant.

[bryant69]

6. I don't expect to be invited - could you post a copy of this memo please?

I would greatly appreciate it.

[Cyrano]

8. You got it. It's in the mail.

On edit: Can't post it. That's against Rapture Rule #29.

[bryant69]

10. e-mail? I'll go check my mail box.

Thanks. I do think it would probably be better if you had posted it hear so that everybody could see it. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has this question.

[Cyrano]

12. e-mail is out -- Rapture Rule #14.

[bryant69]

13. Ah. Well I know this is a strain on you, but could you please

print the gist of said memo - who sent it, what it said and what not.

Bryant

[Cyrano]

14. Be reasonable, Bryant. I'm recovering from yesterday's disappointment.

[bryant69]

15. OK - I'm sorry to disturb you.

Hopefully i can find someone who knows why yesterday was supposed to be rapture day.

[RebelOne]

16. Go visit RaptureReady.com.

Maybe you will find the answer there.

[bryant69]

19. Nope nothing there

The rapture index is high, but it's been higher many times, and nothing specifically about August 22, 2006. I appreciate the link, though.

Bryant

[Javaman]

50. Here's the memo...

It took a little digging around in my deleted box...

-----Original Message-----
From: God
Sent: Tuesday, August 22, 2006 6:66 PM
To: Javaman
Subject: My bad...

Hey Dude,

Da G-man here, sorry about the late notice, but things have been a bit crazy here. The remodel on heaven I have been doing these last few centuries has got me completely buried. The whole rapture thing just totally slipped my mind. I know, I know, everyones waiting, well they are just going to have to wait till I finish putting the crown molding on. My mider saw chipped a tooth and well, you know those blades aren't cheap and with China just sucking every last bit of the resources out of the earth, I had a hard time finding one at home depot, so I had to go to Lowes. Funny thing, I ran into John the Baptist there, he was looking into building his own infinity swimming pool. He says hi. Oh sorry, right the rapture, well, with things the way they are, I honestly don't know. Sorry :( It's like so on the back burner till I figure out what paint I want for the computer rooms.
Tootles!
God

[mcscajun]

26. Yesterday wasn't supposed to be Rapture Day; was supposed to be Armageddon

What is the significance of Aug. 22? This year, Aug. 22 corresponds, in the Islamic calendar, to the 27th day of the month of Rajab of the year 1427. This, by tradition, is the night when many Muslims commemorate the night flight of the prophet Muhammad on the winged horse Buraq, first to "the farthest mosque," usually identified with Jerusalem, and then to heaven and back (c.f., Koran XVII.1). This might well be deemed an appropriate date for the apocalyptic ending of Israel and if necessary of the world. It is far from certain that Mr. Ahmadinejad plans any such cataclysmic events precisely for Aug. 22. But it would be wise to bear the possibility in mind.

http://www.opinionjournal.com/extra/?id=110008768

[meganmonkey]

39. I don't remember the exact wording

But I am pretty sure it emphasized the fact that a sense of humor is a very important thing!

:P

[bryant69]

40. Ah yes the old Get a sense of humor thing

Laugh along as the world laughs at you.

Never really works out.

Bryant

[leftofthedial]

47. praise be unto godjesus

bless you for your zeal and your undiluted righteousness

surely there is a place for you even at the right hand of your lord

[bryant69]

49. godjesus?

I don't know what you are talking about - usually those two words are seperated.

How many posts have I started challanging atheists on their beliefs and attitudes? Not very many if any. I'd be just fine leaving this subject alone or leaving it in the religion forums where it belongs.

And at any rate, as previously mentioned, I'm not that righteous.

[leftofthedial]

51. bless you

peace be unto you

[bryant69]

52. Good comeback

Congratulations on being the better person. Must feel nice.

[leftofthedial]

53. no. I don't feel better about anything.

peace to you.

feel nice.

[The Backlash Cometh]

27. But if he posted it to hear, nobody would be able to see it?

I'm so confused.

[bryant69]

31. I'm sorry for my bad typing - I apologize.

Such typing mistakes are clearly the work of an inferior mind, but I try to soldier on anyway.

Bryant

[The Backlash Cometh]

33. Oh, gee. Don't be so cavaleer.

[DRoseDARs]

18. The 22nd was the deadline for Iran to repond to the UN's demand they stop

The Rapture folks have been buzzing about it being the day that we all die. :eyes:

[bryant69]

20. Which raptrue folks? Can you provide a link?

Bryant

[RebelOne]

21. The same folks at RaptureReady.com.

[bryant69]

22. Allow me to repeat myself

I am looking at rapture ready - there is nothing specific to August 22 here - they might have scrubbed it I suppose.

[Kierkegaard]

25. Try this:

http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=272039

[bryant69]

28. You mean this part?

Again, no one is "date setting". The Pres of Iran set a date when he made a "not-so-veiled" threat. Period. People would have to be completely brain dead to ignore this potential threat.

I think sometimes, good folks with the best of intentions, worry TOO much about " Alot of peoples witness are going to be ruined..." which I believe is hyperbole to the extreme.

If a bunch of Christians were setting a date for the rapture, I would fully agree, but the people on this board ARE NOT DATE SETTING - its the president of Iran who set a date - with a basic threat. How can this be ignored ?

Presumably you don't mean that part.

[RebelOne]

29. And this:

http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=271866

[bryant69]

32. Ah yess good tidbits here

"I think it will be a normal day"

Of course there is also one poster who is clearly a little off who seems to believe that the Rapture would be yesterday, and a few others who humor him.

Is that really all there is to it? That's why we had 20 posts mocking the rapture yesterday?

[Kierkegaard]

35. That's what it be lookin' like...

[bryant69]

36. That's pretty pathetic.

And of course underlines the fact that these rapture posts weren't really about this small group who believed it would be yesterday.

But that's all I'd better say on the subject.

Bryant

[Pab Sungenis]

23. Glenn Beck.

http://www.comicssherpa.com/site/feature?uc_comic=csckt

[bryant69]

30. Did he actually say that or just in a cartoon?

Bryant

[RebelOne]

37. Yup, he actually said it on his TV show. n/t

[bryant69]

42. When did he say it? I mean what day?

Obviously what triggered this was that yeasterday was the time set by Iran to respond to the UN. And some speculated that this date had significance to Iran (and the Muslim World).

If you tell me theday i might be able to track it down - and maybe not - i'm googling it right now.

[Pab Sungenis]

45. He did say it.

His radio show, August 9.

[RebelOne]

48. Here's the link to his radio show archives for our inquiring friend

http://www.glennbeck.com/audio/

[Bozita]

2. lmao ... Good stuff!

[annabanana]

3. lol!

It just never seems to come together the way they've hoped, does it? One deadline after another and it's just messed up time after time.

[tsuki]

7. Do you really think God wants those people up there telling how

"wrong" He got Heaven, and telling Him how to "right" it?

Just asking.:hi:

[meegbear]

5. I heard Jesus brought his car in for an oil change ...

and the mechanic found all sorts of problems and he was stuck there all day. Hey, who hasn't had this happen.

[rosesaylavee]

9. Not working out as planned?

Just like the wars they started.

[sam sarrha]

11. damn.!! i thought we were finally going to get rid of them!

[KatyMan]

17. What if they gave a rapture

and nobody came?
so many levels...

[rman]

24. I think Jesus is on the no-fly list,

being the peace activist that he is...

[Cyrano]

34. Good point. He is, after all, a bearded guy from the Middle East.

[Ian_rd]

38. Ha! A gem of a post. KR.

[TNDemo]

41. Probably didn't happen yesterday because I was having a colonoscopy.

It would have been really unattractive to be floating through the air with a tube up my rear.

[DemonFighterLives]

43. I heard a big dog ate the scroll

:rofl:

[Strawman]

44. I'll get you the new date from Rexella Van Impe this Sunday night

That show is a guilty pleasure of mine. They're my favorite fundies. More eccentric and entertaining than judgemental and mean.

[longship]

46. The Van Impes are a real hoot.

And Jack has that Right Wing Wacko pomp hair thing goin' on, too.
He's a too perfect characature.

And with a name like Rexella, who can say more about that wife of his.

[FogerRox]

54. thanks, good for a laff