10 steps for teaching fundie/wingnut children.

[Cyrano]

1. Read your bible if you want to be like President Bush.

2. Go to sleep now or Teddy Kennedy will get you.

3. Stop screaming or I'll make you study French.

4. Stop eating junk. Don't you want to look like Ann Coulter?

5. Give me that ipod. You're supposed to be listening to Rush.

6. If you don't take your bath, you won't go to heaven.

7. You're a great patriot, but enlisting is for poor people.

8. Just remember that terrorists aren't Christians -- or white.

9. Choose great role models like Antonin Scalia or Mel Gibson.

10. Garry Trudeau is evil.


(Many moons ago, Richard Rogers and Oscar Hammerstein turned out the musical "South Pacific." Some of Hammerstein's greatest lyrics are in the song "You've Got To Be Taught." It's about the teaching of hatred. I first heard it years later, but his words hold a universal truth. It's well worth listening to.)

[ChairmanAgnostic]

1. wanna wash wing nut right outta my head

I wanna wash wing nuts right outta my head

[Kickoutthejams23]

2. You forgot Jews killed your Puppy

[Cyrano]

3. Well, one can only jam so much crap into one "teaching" session.

On edit: Welcome to DU.

[Tace]

4. It's Been My Experience That If You Actually Read The Bible...

you'll be inclined to see it for what it is... a work of religious scripture. Most fundies haven't actually read the bible from cover-to-cover... nor have they compared the various versions from various Christian faiths and noted their similaries and differences, nor are they familiar with the Gnostic gospels, nor with some of the earth-shaking revelations found in the Dead Sea Scrolls (which include some Gnostic gospels), including that the early Christians were a mushroom cult. Nor have they read the religious scriptures of other faiths, such as the Koran or early Hindu texts. No... your basic fundie really has no idea.

[patrice]

5. There are a lot of "churches" that are really only clubs for

people who can't stand on their own two feet.