Today: Media Vows To Ruin Thailand's Reputation Over Jon Benet Ramsey

[politicaholic]

GUILTY!!!!


MORE GUILTIER!!!!!!

Frenzydia Magazine
Washington, DC - As reported by the AP and Knight Ridder (if they say it, it must be true) Thailand, historically an innocent country known for phad thai, thai dye, and neck thais, has now been exposed by crack media insiders to conspiring and killing Jon Benet Ramsey. All 65 million Thai citizens, perhaps out of jealousy for her angelic cuteness or their proven track record as a whole society of child loving heathens.

"They're a society of of sick, depraved, homosexual, pedophile, abortionists." said Sen. Rick Santorum, largely considered the leading authority on current issues that draw him away from his own problems. "I vow to the people of Pennsylvania that I will travel to Bangkok, visit multiple whore houses and opium dens, and get to the bottom of this issue that touches so many Pennsylvanians."


Rick Santorum changes from
his white robe to more
scholarly black robe for
his latest comments.

President Bush cut his vacation short for this quote, "tragic tragedy of tragic proportions". He vows to hold Thailand accountable for their actions. "We will not allow pedophiles of any kind get away with this abomination. That is why I will work tirelessly to make sure that those driving the liberal agenda aren't allowed to trample over the sanctity of marriage by allowing pedophiles to marry the children that they 'say' they love. First, the liberals aid the terrorists every chance they can get and now they're trying to allow Thailand to take over America. Well, I won't allow it!!"


Media sources say, "Whoa, hold on, let's not
jump to any conclusions, I mean, he said there
was another side to the story and we believe him!"

John Mark Karr, media darling and recipient of the "Savior of the Boring Summer News Cycle Award" has now single handedly brought back the advent of the dead white kid that sold so many news papers and raised the ratings of so many souless cable news channels. God Bless John Mark Karr, he really took our minds off of that nasty war over there in Uppity-Muslimville, ME. This reporter is just giddy and can't wait to stand outside of the courthouse with his microphone, camera, and John 3:16 sign.

[MercutioATC]

1. You really should label this as "satire"...

Yes, I know...it should be obvious.

You'd be surprised, however. Some people will buy this.

[EST]

2. Whoosh!

[MindPilot]

3. Which leads me to ask...

Exactly how bad of a sex crime does one have to commit to get arrested for it in Thailand?

[Scout1071]

5. It has to be pretty bad.

Sexual predators are all over Thailand. All over Asia for that matter. And many of them are American.

I was stunned to see the sex trade in Bangkok. Don't get me wrong, it's an excellent city, and much of the fun to be had in Bangkok is in the sex clubs, but I did see many things that gave me the hee-bee-gee-bees.

I saw many American looking, older men in bars with prostitutes that weren't more than 14-15. Made me wonder what is going on in the dark hotel rooms that i didn't see.

[acmejack]

6. The German Air Lauda used to fly sex tours there.

Owned by Niki Lauda, the famous Formula One driver. So there were always a lot of disreputable looking Europeans there that were not neccesarily Americans, which is not to say a fair share weren't.

[Scout1071]

7. Sure, plenty of other foreign predators there.

And if you've been there, you know. The Patpong night market and all the sex clubs that surround it are an absolute must in Bangkok. Don't get me wrong, I had fun being shocked out of my mind by what I saw, but I did get a very uneasy feeling more than a few times. Groups of prostitutes - male and female - that looked too young. The prostitution is just so rampant after midnight. I swear, half the crowd is a prostitute if you stay late enough. And it sure becomes very difficult to tell who is female and who is not. Thai "Lady Boys" are the most famous in the world. Many places in Thailand are giving customers a "lady boy" restroom because they don't feel comfortable in either and there are so many in Bangkok.

[acmejack]

8. You know a lot more about it than I.

I was on a Shore Patrol detail there once.

[sallyseven]

9. Neal Bush is a frequent fl;yer to Thailand

Girls just knock on his door. 13, 14, years old,

[Retired AF Dem]

4. Thailand

was the place to go to buy kids. They have been making progress in cleaning it up as of late.