Republican delivers own baby, fails to eat it

[warrens]

Or have sex with it. Drummed out of party.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/08/16/congressman.delivers.ap/index.html

Well, the last part is made up, the middle two are only possible, but the first part is true.

[MrCoffee]

1. Good for him. I'd crap myself and curl up in a ball.

Which is promising, since my wife is 6 months pregnant. Don't tell her i said that.

[warrens]

2. Eh, it's not so bad

Now, the PLACENTA. That's a whole nother story.

[EFerrari]

5. We won't. You don't tell her, either.

:)

[LeftyMom]

7. Consider getting a copy of this

http://www.1cascade.com/ProductInfo.aspx?productid=1084

Or check it out from the library, they should have it. Generally precipitous deliveries are easy to handle, assuming that mother and child are healthy and at or near term, but it covers things like how to handle a stuck shoulder, infant CPR, etc.

[MrCoffee]

14. Our first was gruesome...

Every little thing that could go wrong did. She never dropped, so they tried to induce. Then they tried again. And again. Finally they busted out the pitosin, and blasted her out. 2nd try was to break her water, and discovered that there was mercomium (sp?), so they had to irrigate, which I never even contemplated. My wife had gestational diabetes, so they monitored her extremely closely. The day we decided to induce, they did an ultrasound and said "She's about 7, 7 1/2 pounds." Our daughter was 9 pounds 7 ounces, and she had a 14 1/2 inch head. Needless to say, she totally shredded my wife on her way out of Dodge. She was in labor for about 31 hours (by my estimate, she'd been in labor for a while, but because my daughter didn't engage, 30.5 hours was unproductive). It took them longer to stitch my wife back together than it did for her to deliver. And when she did deliver, she was prolapse, and my daughter flopped out as blue as my jeans and totally nonresponsive. The midwife did a FANTASTIC job getting her up and running.

I turned into a blubbering jellyfish for 15 minutes after it was all said and done.

It wasn't the blood or anything. I'm just not planning on anything going "right" this time.

[KamaAina]

3. Well, he is from Louisiana

even repukes take their food seriously down there. A baby po-boy would be kind of fatty, especially dressed with "my-on-nez", and as for baby gumbo, how would you ever get the roux to thicken? :evilgrin:

[LA lady]

4. At least we don't eat LIBRARY PASTE!!

Just teasing, but poi isn't nearly as good as gumbo!;-)

[The Deacon]

8. POI?

I thought that WAS library paste. Gimme andouille & chicken gumbo (or red beans & rice, or jambalaya, or a good Low Country Boil) any day!

[KamaAina]

9. Poi would never work as library paste

can you imagine any self-respecting library using purple library paste? :-)

Actually I've long thought that some other Hawai'i foods might work at a Jazz Fest tent or similar venue: our "shave ice" is a second cousin to the famed Sno-Ball; kalua pig, the centerpiece of a lu'au, would do nicely on a French loaf (it's kind of like a smoky pulled pork), and our Portuguese bean soup could be made with andouille for lagniappe. (Astonishingly, andouille is made here locally, though my nearby store doesn't carry it)

There! Throw in some authentic hula (not at all like what you'd see in your hotel lobby) and some "Jawaiian" reggae, and you've got yourselves a new and happenin' tent! "Meet me over at Hawai'i in ten minutes, eh brah?"

[Swamp Rat]

12. Y'all are making me hungry!

:9

[Swamp Rat]

6. LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!

:rofl:

[FlavaKreemSnak]

10. ROFL Me too! That is the best DU headline EVER!!!!!!

I will be laughing at it all day now!

[RebelOne]

11. Actually, I think the comment made by the OP is pretty sick.

and I am do not find it funny.

[Swamp Rat]

13. LOLOLOL!!!!!

:rofl: