A profound thought..Catch 22

[undergroundpanther]

When an individual's, or institution's, goal is Domination of others, and to be "right," no matter how much evidence there is that he, (or it) is wrong, everything said, or done, by the other in relation to that, is invalidated by the "right" one, to protect that self-delusion. When power and "other" control are the goal, reason gets left behind. Reason cannot communicate directly with power, because power doesn't listen to reason.


http://www.successfulschizophrenia.org/stories/lefave01taut.html

A double-bind is when a person hears words said to them in such a way that the accompanying actions or non-verbal communications directly contradict the spoken words. For example, a mother might scream at her child "I love you and you better believe it or I'll whip you!" In a TV show a comedian smiles and says to his wife's dog in a soft, gentle voice "You are a dirty, stinking, flea bag. I hate you." The dog happily wags its tail to the man's non-verbal communications.

Research by Chris Argyris shows that 19 out of 20 people act toward others in ways inconsistent with the words they say. In families and relationships, this can be "crazy making." The horror for many people forced to submit to psychiatric treatments is that they encounter extreme double-binds from mental health practitioners who lack insight into their mixed messages.

http://www.successfulschizophrenia.org/articles/dblbinds.html


The Government Calls a bill the No child left behind act,and more kids are screwed worse than ever out of education and other needs since the bill was passed,The Clean air act,creates loopholes for polluters,and air is dirtier than before.. It isn't just Orwellian it's CRAZYMAKING and it is DESIGNED to DOMINATE US ALL.

So do you see how this double bind game fuckks us ALL over,not just the mentally ill?

Apply and rewiord these statements to areas like politics,to relationships to how people deal with the poor in this country..

The experience of people viewed as schizophrenic( insert poor ,gay,female..black..) is something like being told by a smiling, powerful authority "I have only love and compassion for rotten assholes like you."

"You must accept into your mind our assertion that you are mentally ill(insert poor or gay here ) because you believe that people are trying to force thoughts into your mind."(change that to opress you and discriminate against you)


"You must believe our self-deceptive statements that we are not acting selfishly when we force you to submit to treatment that you don't want. You must believe we are doing this to you only for your own good."
Like treating all women as "pre pregnant"
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/05/15/AR2006051500875_pf.html

And The Republicans and Rich people are experts at playing this catch 22.Liberals play it too.

Go to school get a job if you don't like being poor and disabled than..They say that while government cuts the funds to pay for school you can't afford being so poor,,slashes daycare so you can't go,and defines going to college as doing nothing.So you cannot get a job that pays more than what you got on welfare Fancy that!
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2440309

"You must believe that we are acting out of love and compassion for the undesirable thing you are."

You feel this double bind chafe all the time if you are poor and visit the welfare office.

If a person protests about any of the above and tells the therapy staff(or people with power or money) they are the crazy ones, the fourth double-bind message is:

"Your claim that we are crazy and harming you proves how really mentally ill you are. You are so sick you lack insight and don't appreciate the help we are offering to you."

How often does it feel like this when you read the crazymaking patronizing words of a politician an abusive bully or some for your own good health nazi?

[rock]

1. "The name of the song is called 'Haddock's Eyes'."

But that's just what it's called, you understand.

[undergroundpanther]

2. The eyes have it...

Haddocks eyes.. thank you..


I'll tell thee everything I can:

There's little to relate.

I saw an aged aged man,

A-sitting on a gate.

"Who are you, aged man?" I said,

"And how is it you live?"

And his answer trickled through my head,

Like water through a sieve.


He said "I look for butterflies

That sleep among the wheat:

I make them into mutton-pies,

And sell them in the street.

I sell them unto men," he said,

"Who sail on stormy seas;

And that's the way I get my bread --

A trifle, if you please."


But I was thinking of a plan

To dye one's whiskers green,

And always use so large a fan

That they could not be seen.

So, having no reply to give

To what the old man said,

I cried "Come, tell me how you live!"

And thumped him on the head.


His accents mild took up the tale:

He said "I go my ways,

And when I find a mountain-rill,

I set it in a blaze;

And thence they make a stuff they call

Rowlands' Macassar-Oil --

Yet twopence-halfpenny is all

They give me for my toil."


But I was thinking of a way

To feed oneself on batter,

And so go on from day to day

Getting a little fatter.

I shook him well from side to side,

Until his face was blue:

"Come, tell me how you live," I cried,

"And what it is you do!"


He said "I hunt for haddocks" eyes

Among the heather bright,

And work them into waistcoat-buttons

In the silent night.

And these I do not sell for gold

Or coin of silvery shine,

But for a copper halfpenny,

And that will purchase nine.


"I sometimes dig for buttered rolls,

Or set limed twigs for crabs:

I sometimes search the grassy knolls

For wheels of Hansom-cabs.

And that's the way" (he gave a wink)

"By which I get my wealth--

And very gladly will I drink

Your Honour's noble health."


I heard him then, for I had just

Completed my design

To keep the Menai bridge from rust

By boiling it in wine.

I thanked him much for telling me

The way he got his wealth,

But chiefly for his wish that he

Might drink my noble health.


And now, if e'er by chance I put

My fingers into glue,

Or madly squeeze a right-hand foot

Into a left-hand shoe,


Or if I drop upon my toe

A very heavy weight,

I weep, for it reminds me so
Of that old man I used to know--
Whose look was mild, whose speech was slow
Whose hair was whiter than the snow,
Whose face was very like a crow,
With eyes, like cinders, all aglow,
Who seemed distracted with his woe,
Who rocked his body to and fro,
And muttered mumblingly and low,
As if his mouth were full of dough,
Who snorted like a buffalo--
That summer evening long ago,

A-sitting on a gate.

[rock]

3. Actually, I was thinking of the Knight's Song

But that one is awfully neat too. (Many thanks to Lewis Caroll (sp?))

[Annces]

4. I like it when people say your reaction

to something they did is "coming from you" or similar. So, not only are you wrong about your perceptions of something, but your gut instincts and feelings are also wrong.

There is a weird collusion of silence around dominance hierarchies. I had this a lot in my own family. And sometimes when you actually try to talk and work things out, somehow you become the creator of problems. I have learned some things the slow, hard way.

And I think you can't truly help someone, if you feel you are above them. I think Christ must have said this in various teachings.

[undergroundpanther]

5. This is the truth

And people do not understand it is destroying all of us. I see the posts abut rape when people here on DU apologize for the rapist and I want to scream.I hate the dominators, I hate them.. I wish I could tear the hierarchy game apart and expose the little worms that control it with a facade of graduer and power,. END it forever. But I can't.There are too many abusers too much denial the game of make believe is too deep and there is so much fear.

In his seminal essay, "Understanding the Batterer in Visitation and Custody Disputes", Lundy Bancroft sums up the asymmetry in favor of the offender:

"Batterers ... adopt the role of a hurt, sensitive man who doesn't understand how things got so bad and just wants to work it all out 'for the good of the children.' He may cry ... and use language that demonstrates considerable insight into his own feelings. He is likely to be skilled at explaining how other people have turned the victim against him, and how she is denying him access to the children as a form of revenge ... He commonly accuses her of having mental health problems, and may state that her family and friends agree with him ... that she is hysterical and that she is promiscuous. The abuser tends to be comfortable lying, having years of practice, and so can sound believable when making baseless statements. The abuser benefits ... when professionals believe that they can "just tell" who is lying and who is telling the truth, and so fail to adequately investigate.

Because of the effects of trauma, the victim of battering will often seem hostile, disjointed, and agitated, while the abuser appears friendly, articulate, and calm. Evaluators are thus tempted to conclude that the victim is the source of the problems in the relationship."

There is little the victim can do to "educate" the therapist or "prove" to him who is the guilty party. Mental health professionals are as ego-centered as the next person. They are emotionally invested in opinions they form or in their interpretation of the abusive relationship. They perceive every disagreement as a challenge to their authority and are likely to pathologize such behavior, labeling it "resistance" (or worse).

In the process of mediation, marital therapy, or evaluation, counselors frequently propose various techniques to ameliorate the abuse or bring it under control. Woe betides the party that dares object or turn these "recommendations" down. Thus, an abuse victim who declines to have any further contact with her batterer – is bound to be chastised by her therapist for obstinately refusing to constructively communicate with her violent spouse.

Better to play ball and adopt the sleek mannerisms of your abuser. Sadly, sometimes the only way to convince your therapist that it is not all in your head and that you are a victim – is by being insincere and by staging a well-calibrated performance, replete with the correct vocabulary. Therapists have Pavlovian reactions to certain phrases and theories and to certain "presenting signs and symptoms" (behaviors during the first few sessions). Learn these – and use them to your advantage. It is your only chance.

http://www.toddlertime.com/sam/abuse/guilt-of-the-abused.htm

[Annces]

6. In my own example, I am talking about siblings.

The oldest sibling sort of "made it" into the wonderful world of yuppiedom and has done all kinds of manuevers to include/exclude family, and I can't deal with being treated 2nd class. We were friends when I was young, so it was hard to accept the whole scenario.

I did deal with an abusive boyfriend once. When I realized what the hell I was really up against, it scared me to my bones and I left really fast.

I have only seen 2 therapists in my lifetime. The first one was clueless and the 2nd one was not very honest, in my opinion. My mother was a psychologist, and though she is brilliant in many ways, she is no problem solver.

[undergroundpanther]

7. It comes from all directions

Siblings ,parents, spouses,Bosses, The government and it's new policies, the cops,the town, the opinionated snarky posters,anywhere.And I am so tired of playing games and being told to hope when I cannot find a reason to..When life begins to feel like THIS..


It means it is seriously hurting..I am feeling close to that right now.
I wonder in my thoughts how many others feel like I do? Do they even know what is causing their pain,or do they blame themselves like they are taught by the dominator's of this world?

Everything is abuse or be abused.Fight to get to the top or die suffocated on the bottom as nothing,nobody,invisible... I hate it. And I feel like I cannot do anything to stop it in myself or in this world. Because like in my other posts The abuser looks so reasonable,logical he charms so well such a liar..And the damn observers fall for the enchanting reasonable face on the abuser,the powerful every time.And the game of make believe goes on the same and the hierarchy shitting upon me is unperturbed.And if you hurt and you scream too loud,enraged and you do not sound all that calm, cool ,rational and fail to be so nice,then YOU are the problem by default. People cannot handle reality because reality is abusive... Nobody wants to deal with it they don't want the cherished beautiful people to be monsters.. But when They see starving kids on TV and they look away they see the victims of beautiful shallow dominator's as monsters,just like the dominations tell them to,..The turning away. It's the American way.. And I HATE it.

[Annces]

8. That lion picture is painful

I twinge at every site of dead animals on the road.

I don't want to be flippant, but I would say, to screw the observers. You know what you feel.

[undergroundpanther]

9. I am that tiger

When I posted it I feel tears.I am screaming and I can't figure out a way to help me or anyone. I post and try to tear up the games and help people see..but they refuse to. They love the lies and the hierarchy more than their own humanity. To see this it feels like being shot through with a billion arrows for myself and all the countless others from abeer the girl raped in Iraq I think it was,all the tortured at Abu Garib /Guantanimo,the Poor like me in America ,All the battered raped wives and kids and guys,all the suffering,and silence,all of us are being shit on by bush,and we are being hurt by all the privileged fortunates and dominants,the bullies, narcissists and sociopaths of the world,those morally inferior soulless monsters who do not care,and will not empathize and stop their games and abuses and it is just endless and everywhere. The pain surrounding me like air made of shattered glass shredding my heart from the inside out..and I hate it. And I have no clue how to stop it. There is not enough tears to cry for all the wounded in this world. There is Not enough love and trust to go around anymore,the bullies have stolen it from us. The world is dying because we do not know how to validate the dehumanized,love those who need it the most.. Nooo instead we love those who are not suffering,give to whom has abundance,admire the already powerful,We give love to those who cannot love us back,who will hurt us for caring and make us suffer for our kindness and dupe us with our own misplaced compassion..When will people ever see the truth behind the culture of make believe?And stop playing along? When will the Milgram experiments fail???

[Annces]

10. I have never felt that much pain - so

I don't know how to deal with that. If you believe in God, then you can believe you have a purpose and maybe a purpose for your feeling so much.

Also some of those dominators are tormented themselves, like Cheney. That guy looks like he is really feeling pain.

Here is a quote I found recently -

Waitaha people, a peace oriented shamanic culture in New Zealand. “ Walk in the shadows, hide in the waters, move in the mists, step behind the rainbow to save the taonga (treasure). Protect our ancestors. Hold the truth close and warm it with brave hearts, for pain will consume the land and the circle of our dreams will be broken. And it will seem lost beyond recall. Kia Koha! Be Strong! And the day will come when the taonga will be revealed once more. And we will walk tall with the knowledge in the kete (woven basket) and find joy in the colours of the rainbow. And the fires of truth will burn into the hearts of all the people of the land. And they will find the trail of gentleness and peace. Kahuri te Ao—the world turns. And the circle of our dream time takes a new shape for a new dawn. And the people of all colours join to bind what was broken and live in hope.”

[undergroundpanther]

11. It is nice poetry

But the hoop has been broken already,The rainbow is faded.The Earth is dying, because we chose to pretend bad people are good people...Now the Earth will do her dance on us with the angry look of Kali,dancing with humanities heart in her hands wrapped in flames as the planet dies..For what we failed to do is listen,to empathize,to stop the games of abuse or be abused,.We failed to relate to the least and different and let them be and help them become.Web let the critical parental voice rule our hearts,we let the petulent child tell us what to be,we let the cowrd direct our steps, We failed to have the guts and nobility to tend the wounded among us and love them protect them from the predatory.We failed to share outrselves. We failed to see our relations, WE failed to care..to keep each other safe.. No.. we fell in love with our own power the fantasy of being little gods if we just beat everyone else down,and we went the path of domination..And that is why we lie so much about pain.