There is no such thing as a lazy mother of three

[AngryAmish]

What a crock of shit.

I read this in another thread and wanted to pick this up. I know many, many lazy mothers. I know three mothers of three with full time nannies and maids once or twice a week. Are their mornings filled doing charity work or holding crack babies? No, they are filled with coffee shops and pilates classes.

I find it so paternalistic and belittling that a mother can't be lazy. I know lazy -- I am lazy. However one can be both lazy and a mother of young children.

[izzie]

1. Well I had 5 and I found myself lazy about some things.

It is all in what you are looking at and for.

[havocmom]

2. Have one for a neighbor. She is heavily self-medicated

on something or other, probably a legal prescription. She has to be because she can no longer delude herself into thinking her half feral children are the saints she so desperately needs to think they are without a lot of additives. The evidence contrary to her delusions is getting overwhelming. The only way for her to deal is to abdicate all of her parental responsibilities and lock herself away with her diversions.

The kids are probably headed for prison as soon as they are of age, a time which is getting close.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

3. I know for a fact that the act of becoming a mother doesn't cure character

flaws.

However, I deal with abused children on a daily basis. I imagine I've seen some of the worst case scenarios.

[CoffeeCat]

4. Someone needs to write a book about this....

I am a stay-at-home mom to two young girls who are not in school full time yet.

I belong to a mother's support group, a book club and know quite a few people in our area.

I'm unclear as to the origin of the comment, "There is no such thing as a lazy mother of three." I can tell you that this is so untrue, it's laughable. It would be nice if the comment was true, but it's not.

I've been astonished, in my experience as a stay-at-home-mom---at the self-absorbed attitudes and reckless behavior of SOME stay-at-home moms. Their actions toward their children are disturbing.

You don't have to be Mrs. Cravits to observe that many stay-at-home moms are borderline abusive with their abandonment of their children. Their days are filled with pedicures, shopping, volunteering in the community and lunches. During the summers, their kids are constantly enrolled in day-camps, workshops, art classes and other activities that get the kids out of the mom's hair and away from them.

No one is saying that a mom who puts their child in camp is bad; or that a mom who takes time for herself is selfish. I'm talking about mothers who are pretend parents. They stay-at-home for themselves and not for their children. These mothers are not only lazy--they are self absorbed and they are hurting their children.

Another thing--these women are terminally oblivious. Everyone else sees how lonely, in pain and out-of-control their children are. These mothers don't. They look the other way--because a problem means that they might have to parent. Playing Polly Pockets on the floor with their children isn't nearly as fun as a pedicure, now is it?

Obviously, this behavior isn't exclusive to stay-at-home-moms. There are plenty of women who are married to successful men--who work because they need the added income to afford more Pottery Barn and a bigger SUV. Their selfish behavior is on par with the stay-at-home moms.

If this post sounds judgmental---then good. It is judgmental. I'm judging people who are abandoning their children and causing incredible pain and harm.

Being a parent is difficult and challenging. I'm certainly not a perfect parent. However, I TRY and I am PRESENT for my children. I do this because it's in the best interests of my children,their futures and the future of our society.