Oh yet, just another night without rapture

[Erika]

Gog and magog are fighting and still no rapture. What's a good theocratic fundie to do?

[longship]

1. Maybe they'll get sick of waiting and will rapture themselves.

Do ya' think?

[Erika]

3. But I've been hearing forever about Gog and Magog

You mean it's a bunch of BS?

[gator_in_Ontario]

2. I guess

the bridegroom stood us up.
Yet again....:(

[Dover]

4. Someone needs to create a rap for the rapture. Could be catching.n/t

rrrrrrr....rap for the rapture
left behind again

[Erika]

6. Gog and Magog are quite "catchy" for rap

For creativity.

[Dover]

7. Might also make for great Dr. Seuss characters.

Gog and Magog cried, "Sinners repent!
We meant what we said, and we said what we meant:
An elephant's faithful one hundred percent."


Hey, maybe Rove can use that....

[Sapphocrat]

11. It's late, and I'm foggy, but I'll give it a shot.

You know you won't be left behind
You gonna take a trip with the rest of your kind

Gotta save a certain MidEast nation
Just like it says in da Revelation

No Catholics, Muslims, or Jews gonna be there
You can pray for 'em (even if you really don't care)

Just true believers, gonna be so nice
(Sorry, Is-ra-el, 'bout the "blood sacrifice")

Gotta get on board, time is running out
Get on da phone, give beautician a shout

Lord gonna take only the Christian pure
Can't get on the bus 'til you get a manicure

Can't wait for that Jesus ride?
Got that solved, little soldiers - try suicide!

[zanne]

12. Beautiful!

Especially for a "foggy" guy.(or girl)

[Sapphocrat]

13. Thank you, thank you...

I'll be here all week. Ba-dum-bam!

P.S. Girl. :)

[Dover]

14. Lol! Like the part about the manicure.

:applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:
:applause: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:
:applause: :applause: :applause::applause:
:applause: :applause:
:applause:

That was great. You gonna go ta heeeeeaven!

[Sapphocrat]

18. Manicures and The Rapture...

The sort of esoteric folklore only DUers will ever understand. (We'll all be muttering, "This is HUGH!!111 I'm SERIES, you moran!" from our nursing home beds, too, you know. :D )

P.S. I'm going to heaven? I'll have to write Sister Mary Aquinas and tell her she was wrong!!


On edit: I mistakenly spelled "HUGE" correctly. Man, I'd never make it undercover in Freakerville!

[Poll_Blind]

5. AP: Matrons demand postponement of Rapture until Fair judging complete.

AP: Matrons demand postponement of Rapture until Fair judging complete.

PB

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

8. The truth:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=1823196&mesg_id=1823196

[klyon]

9. Whose going to clean-up all the dead bodies?

Shouldn't we make a tentative schedule?
like shouldn't we start planning for global warming and
displaced people can live in the houses of the raptured if we time things right

[H2O Man]

10. There is a Slow Train Coming ......

(Bob Dylan)


Sometimes I feel so low-down and disgusted
Can't help but wonder what's happenin' to my companions,
Are they lost or are they found, have they counted the cost it'll take to bring
down
All their earthly principles they're gonna have to abandon?
There's a slow, slow train comin' up around the bend.

I had a woman down in Alabama,
She was a backwoods girl, but she sure was realistic,
She said, "Boy, without a doubt, have to quit your mess and straighten out,
You could die down here, be just another accident statistic."
There's a slow, slow train comin' up around the bend.

All that foreign oil controlling American soil,
Look around you, it's just bound to make you embarrassed.
Sheiks walkin' around like kings, wearing fancy jewels and nose rings,
Deciding America's future from Amsterdam and to Paris
And there's a slow, slow train comin' up around the bend.

Man's ego is inflated, his laws are outdated, they don't apply no more,
You can't rely no more to be standin' around waitin'
In the home of the brave, Jefferson turnin' over in his grave,
Fools glorifying themselves, trying to manipulate Satan
And there's a slow, slow train comin' up around the bend.

Big-time negotiators, false healers and woman haters,
Masters of the bluff and masters of the proposition
But the enemy I see wears a cloak of decency,
All non-believers and men stealers talkin' in the name of religion
And there's a slow, slow train comin' up around the bend.

People starving and thirsting, grain elevators are bursting
Oh, you know it costs more to store the food than it do to give it.
They say lose your inhibitions, follow your own ambitions,
They talk about a life of brotherly love, show me someone who knows how to
live it. There's a slow, slow train comin' up around the bend.

Well, my baby went to Illinois with some bad-talkin' boy she could destroy
A real suicide case, but there was nothin' I could do to stop it,
I don't care about economy, I don't care about astronomy
But it sure do bother me to see my loved ones turning into puppets,
There's a slow, slow train comin' up around the bend.



Copyright © 1979 Special Rider Music

[MrCoffee]

15. As long as I get to keep the car I stole because it had the bumper sticker

I'm happy.

[Generic Other]

16. A link to my "Rapture Party" flash

The next best thing to being there! :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2yvYR4RFVs

[TahitiNut]

17. But the Crapture continues.

:shrug:

[Vidar]

19. Sorry your love life is as lacking as mine.