Excellent News For Freepers in Their Late Thirties!

[G_j]

http://www.guampdn.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060115/NEWS01/601150302/1002

Army raises enlistment age
If you're under 40, Uncle Sam may just want you

By Mark-Alexander Pieper
Pacific Sunday News
[e-mail]

On the heels of one of its worst recruiting years, the U.S. Army will increase the age limit for active duty enlistees from 34 to 39.

<snip>

[NJCher]

1. Lines are forming

...as we type!




Cher

[Solly Mack]

2. LOLOL! They're running out of excuses to join and fight that mess

they support.

Not that they will join - they'd rather support their lord and master's efforts from the recliner.

[ohio_liberal]

3. Oh joy, I can join the army now...I'm 38

Only if they don't make me run for miles or do pushups and shit. :)

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

4. I am sure they would love to enlist, but...

It is damn hard to get up from their computer in Mom's basement and walk to the enlistment station with their pants around their ankles.

;-)

[ohio_liberal]

5. ...

:rofl:

[Solly Mack]

7. Damn. Now see, people like me have far too active of an imagination

to be reading stuff like that. The mental image just came too easily. Icky.

[shaniqua6392]

8. Oh...that is too funny!!

I can just picture them alternating between freerepublic and porn sites in mama's basement!

[zbdent]

18. Do you realize how many times they

beat off to FR? I don't think they need the porn sites anymore . . .

[Arugula Latte]

24. Ooooh, Bush was so MANLY in that flight suit!

That bulge -- Mission Accomplished!

:puke:

[ProfessorGAC]

16. Ah, But Remember That Idiot College Republican Kid

He said he had more important work to do here fighting the "culture war". OF course, the culture war is in his mind, and nowhere else.
The Professor

[G_j]

20. that should get an award

for the lamest excuse yet offered.

:rofl:

[ProfessorGAC]

22. And, He Said It On National Television

What an idiot. No wonder he thinks his professors are all out to get him because they're all liberals. They ARE out to get him because he's embarassing them as professionals with his utter stupidity.
The Professor

[G_j]

23. guess he can fight gays

women's libbers, teachers and Spongebob at home. Do they give out metals for these things?

[stanwyck]

26. that kid really

needed some "brain armor" for his fighting in the culture war. Actually, the smug little bastards think they're "too good" to join those troops they profess to support.
Too smart. Too valuable.
The truth is..they're too spoiled. Too fearful. And too out of shape.

[ProfessorGAC]

29. Can't Argue With That

If i did argue, i'd be arguing with myself. I think the same things you do.
The Professor

[stanwyck]

25. This is the excuse I get from our

freeper friends of age: I have an old football injury. (learned that from Rush -- who actually had (has?) anal warts). Only, a quick check of the ole yearbook shows that these old gridiron warriors...never were gridiron warriors.
But, hey, it sounds better than I'm a shameless hypocrite who wouldn't make it through boot camp without my TiVo, Xbox, and Mama.

[leftchick]

6. This great!

I am definately passing out more enlistment forms to my freeper relatives!

:)

[G_j]

31. I just hope nobody gets hurt

in the rush.. :rofl:

[Brewman_Jax]

9. Now, those freepers can put their money where their mouths are

like that's gonna happen. :rofl:

[slaveplanet]

10. very telling

they're going to need grandpa to fight in Iran

[ohio_liberal]

11. Hell they have grandpas fighting now

Some of the reservists I know are in their late 40's and 50's.

[slaveplanet]

15. but if there's

a draft...which they quite likely will enact if Iran is attacked...then Grandpa will find himself draftable...

[TlalocW]

12. Here I go to enlist, vroom vroom

Oh, what's this shiny thing over here?

TlalocW

[WernhamHogg]

13. You know there are a lot of pissed off 34 year old

You know there are now a lot of pissed off 34 year old Bush supporters. Just when it looked like they would have a valid excuse for not signing up for the war they "support", they go and change the age limit! Now they will have to go back to claiming a cyst on their ass is keeping them out...

[No Exit]

14. Paging Jonah "Pantload" Goldberg!!

C'mon, Rugged Conservative Boy! Time to sign up!!

[porphyrian]

17. Anyone know the drug-consumption amounts for disqualification?

I'm pretty sure I have nothing to worry about, but I'm curious what the current limits are.

[NoSunWithoutShadow]

19. Even better for freepers, NYT says the new age is up to 42

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/19/national/19recruit.html?pagewanted=all

WASHINGTON, Jan. 18 (AP) - After falling well short of its recruiting goals last year, the Army has set even higher monthly targets for this summer, hoping that new financial incentives will attract high school and college graduates despite continuing deaths in Iraq.

From June to September, the Army will try to recruit 8,600 to 10,400 soldiers a month.

To help reach those goals, a new law will allow the Army to give larger financial bonuses for enlistments and re-enlistments, doubling the maximum payment to $40,000 for new active-duty recruits and to $20,000 for reservists. It will also raise the top age for recruits to 42 from 35. And the top re-enlistment bonus for active-duty soldiers will increase to $90,000 from $60,000.

While the maximum enlistment bonus for active recruits is $40,000, the exact amount will vary based on what job is chosen and the length of the enlistment.

[The Gunslinger]

21. I wonder if that will be the draft age too.

[JamesTee]

27. Don't be too hard on the Freeps...

They're just too brave to serve their country. But seriously, if we had to depend on Republicans to serve, we'd still be an English colony.

[G_j]

28. I'm sure they would have preferred having a king

just as they do today

[newyawker99]

30. Hi JamesTee!!

Welcome to DU!! :toast: