Ever lost a friend over Politics or Religion?

[Philosoraptor]

I have. Not many, but they were good friends till bush got selected.

One guy started screaming at me and hurling insults, and I stopped calling him or seeing him and told him we were through. Once you start screaming and spitting in my face, that's it, its the end of the road.

I still regret losing some friends, and I also regret becoming unfriendly with members of my own family for years. The only way we could all attend Thanksgiving dinner was to agree not to mention religion or politics, at my urging. Things have gone smoother since.

I don't mind discussing politics or religion for hours on end as long as no one starts to scream or insult or spit.

I always give people the option and a warning. If you want to discuss these two hot issues, I don't mind, but don't act all surprised or upset if we don't agree. I tell them to buckle up and proceed, and I tell them that when it gets beyond a certain decibel level, I'm outta there.

[ixion]

1. yep...

over time (years) we've gotten older and a bit more mellow so we'll email to each other now and keep in touch, but the common interests on which the friendship was founded don't really exist any more. :-(

[AngryAmish]

2. Never

If they are Rethugs then they really are not human and it is hard hard to be friends with sub-human scum.

[emanymton]

5. This Is A Bit Much. ... Rethug Or Not, They Be People.

[ChairmanAgnostic]

3. I lost them or they lost me?

A couple who I thought were good friends announced that my agnostic ideas were so offensive to them, that they banned their children from coming over and in fact, until we became saved, they would cut all ties with us.

I say, to hell with them.

[zanne]

6. Good for you, antifaschits

When people start using their kids as an excuse, it's time to say bye-bye.

[Allenberg]

4. Nah.

My boss at work is a Republican, but not in a jerk way about it. We're decent friends, though. We just keep the conversation away from politics.

My best friend is as fundamentalist Christian as you can get. He belongs to the Constitutional Party. We're great friends. I'm an athiest, and he doesn't care.

[calico1]

7. Yes. She was not only a very good friend to me

but also to my family. She had a pretty wild life when she was young and went through a lot of bad stuff. Then she developed kidney failure and has been on dialysis for over 30 years (one of the longest known persons to survive this long). She had never been religious at all. She had been very outgoing, funny, very fun to be with. But she turned to the pentecostal church as a crutch, as to a lot of people who need something to belive in when things are not going too well. The problem was not that she became very religious but that she insisted on trying to push it on me and my family. My parents were very devout Catholics and went to mass every Sunday. She would leave leaflets on my Dad's car which did NOT go over well, as you can imagine. She was asked nicely several times to stop by several of us. While we still loved her and considered her a good friend we did not want her to preach to us. But she wouldn't stop. So my Dad told her she was no longer welcome in his home.

[insane_cratic_gal]

8. Over Politics yes.. Religion no

I'm studying Buddhism and most people I have met haven't even crossed their eyes over that. I live in fairly active attending church type of neighborhood but they've all come to accept that I am not a church goer of the traditional sense. Most have been very open and curious to the ideas set forth in Buddhism.

Politics seems to be the divider these days. The relationship was fine until we discussed politics, we were the same mind on a lot of issues, but I think she was brainwashed republican by her parents. She believed in gay marriage, she believed in a woman's right to chose, she believed removing religion from politics (stand on your own laurels not a bible). She was quite liberal but often misinformed.

When the 2004 election was upon us, she asked me who I was voting for, the min I said Kerry.. a debate ensued and never stopped. It went on like that until Jan 2006. That was the last time I spoke to her, and I was pretty cruel about it, but I suggested she needed to stop getting her news from Fox and Limbaughs Drudges of the world and start thinking and exploring for herself.

That was that.. we haven't spoken since 1/06.

some family arguments here and there but it's family for the most part they all know they f'ed up with their vote. Only my mother and myself voted for Kerry.

[Buzz Clik]

9. No. I find people with opposing views to be fascinating.

[Totally Committed]

10. Yes. Several, in fact.

Usually not over religion, as I tend to avoid fundies of all stripes like the plague. But, politically, yes... I find it increasingly difficult, given the state of the country, and the world, to keep my mouth shut when I hear ANYONE -- even someone I love -- being an idiot about politics. I always speak up now. ALWAYS.

TC

[tanyev]

11. Not lost, as in having a huge fight or anything, but I've certainly

drifted away from quite a few.

[acmejack]

12. More than one

[sweetheart]

13. "our friendship is over if you don't accept jesus christ as your...

lord and saviour".. in so many words, once ended a friendship.

He was a good friend until he went militant christian, and then the
us and them mentality of the saved/heathen paradigm is so incredibly
divisive, i chose "heathen" :-)

[raccoon]

23. The word for that is "blackmail."

"our friendship is over if you don't accept jesus christ as your...
lord and saviour"..

Or, to use a more charitable word, MANIPULATION. Big time.

[sweetheart]

28. I think he just was zealous

Lots of people get really dogmatic when they discover religion,
and those persons believe that mixing with non-saved persons is a path
to hell, and either the persons agrees to be saved or they are choosing
hell and the devil's path (all religion except his).

It sorta makes sense, in a way, as i was a threat to his worldview,
and needed to be walled-out. It is much as how bush and his clan have
walled *uz* out, similarly, as we threaten the worldview that the
patriarchal fantasy is benign.

And the dissonance within our culture becomes between people if someone
opts out of dissnance. In the process of recapitulating the agreements
one makes during a lifetime, the agreement to support the status quo is
often presumed, as much as i did not sign the constitution, or erect the
church my parents attended. But the corrosive cynical corporate lie
that we are existant as consumers only, begs a dissonant view, one that
breaks with its evil ends..

[Ioo]

14. Oh yah!

[Mythsaje]

15. Nope...

I don't tend to be friends with people who'd make that an issue.

[Warpy]

16. I can't say I've lost a friend, but there are people

I've avoided in the first place because they're blowhards on any particular subject.

Hell, I know I'm an opinionated old bat, but I generally wait until I'm asked, and then I keep my comments low key and to the point if it's a social situation. Somebody who just starts expounding out of the blue is not somebody I particularly want to associate with. S/he is a bully.

In fact, I maintained a friendship with someone who converted to the JWs. It was just understood (after I smacked him twixt the eyes with a 2x4) that there were some things that didn't fly, and lectures were one of them. He was a nice guy.

I've lost a lot more friends to drugs, especially alcohol and cocaine.

[Chipper Chat]

17. No. My 2 best friends at work are conservative Pubs.

One is a fundie. We respect each others' opinions, but have a lot of fun shooting darts at favorite targets on both sides. They supply me with the latest Clinton jokes and I Bush-bash. Great banter, and sort-of a reverse-information channel.

[undergroundpanther]

18. I had a friend

Daryl. Ten years we were friends.We went through alot.
Than he converted to Christianity.He told me this on a railroad track as we walked along the area we walked many times..I was a Satanist going through my phase. He tried to convert me. I told him I could not convert,I told him why and he knew about my past and that I was hurt by a fundie pedophile,he knew how I had been harassed abused and assaulted by so called Christians many times in my life,Satanic or not,Christians have been some of the most hostile ,vile bullying people I have had the misfortune of running into. He knew all about why I do not trust Christians. What hurt most was when he said it,flat out,If you can't accept Christ,I can't be your friend anymore.I asked why? Why would a god that loves and forgives demand you break off friendship with me? What have I done to you to cause this? Why must I believe as you do to be a good friend to you? Before you were Christian I was a good friend, but now because you got a new god,I am nothing to you now.Ten years of a close friendship we saw each other every other day practically,.and you want to NEVER see me again? What did I do to you to deserve this?? This hurts alot. .Daryl said nothing,I busted out crying.I had been holding back tears most of the whole walk. He got into his car and left.And I never saw him again.

And sad to say, I still miss him sometimes.I feel like religion killed him and destroyed our friendship.

When I was in Assemblies of God and I lost faith in the belief system they all dropped me like a hot potato and would have NOTHING to do with me.For two years I had this network of "christian"friends.They all seemed genuine.They seemed to care about me as a person.They were so friendly when I was believing like them..but the minute I could not keep up the belief I was chopped liver.I was abandoned with no social network in a town I did not know,because of the"church",and I became very suicidal.Many things in my life were falling apart,and when I needed support of friends the most,the religion made sure I had no one.

Christianity itself encourages the ruin of friendships with that crap about don't"fellowship"with non-believers..They say this because the church knows if a Christian hangs out with non believers his faith might be reasoned out of,and he might not need the church..

http://exchristian.net/testimonies/2006/01/i-see-im-not-alone.html

[Vinnie From Indy]

19. Almost lost one a year or so ago

My friend had moved away years ago and had become quite successful in his business. We met up again at a gathering and he started spewing nonsense about how Bush and the GOP were great for America and how Democrats just wanted to spend money on people that were lazy etc. He continued to extoll the virtues of Bush and the GOP and I just lost it.

Even though we were in a large group and they were all listening to our conversation, I pointed out to my well off friend that he must have the memory of gnat. His father was a firefighter and was killed when he and his 5 brothers and sisters were very young. I pointed out to him that if it were not for Democrats he and his family would have been eating dirt in the streets. The only thing that kept his mother from complete destitution were the Social Security and union benefits fought for and implemented by Democrats. I also brought up the fact that he and his siblings benefited from all manner of government aid in regard to student loans and healthcare under MedicAid. I told him that if he really felt that way about Democrats with his personal history, he would make a fine a Republican. He got his and screw everyone else. I ended the conversation by telling him that his father, a lifelong Democrat, would be ashamed of him. I also told him to turn off Rush Limbaugh because it has rotted his brain. He was extremely pissed off about being berated in front of others and left the group. A few weeks later he wrote to me and apologized for being such an ass. He also thanked me for reminding him of his roots. We are still friends and I think I had a small impact on his political leanings.

[Coyote_Bandit]

20. Yes

Easy to do in red state hell.

I let one very long-term friendship (25 years) go when the family relocated to another state. I was becoming involved in dem politics and my friend in special interest activism and puke politics. It seemed like an easy way out - the relationship was becoming more contentious and high maintenance. Apparently, my friend felt the same way. I haven't heard from her either. For the same reasons I'm sure.

I try to avoid big blowups - but I have had many friendships that have become more distant and devolved into mere acquaintances because of either religion or politics. Or both. In red state hell that does have social and business implications. But generally I think it is emotionally healthy to drift apart from people with whom one does not share common goals or values.

[sgxnk]

21. Never

I have friends and relatives that run pretty much the full political spectrum. I have one friend who thinks Mother Jones is kinda rightwing :)

Others, who think National Review is kinda leftwing.

I love hearing diverse viewpoints.

[raccoon]

22. One co-worker. We had an argument about the invasion of

Iraq. His position was that it was the wrong thing to do, but now that the Junta had done it, we needed to be supportive of the war effort.
:puke:

Another, a 12-step group I used to go to, I walked into one day and some man was holding forth about how he disliked the protestors. This was the day after massive worldwide protests against the invasion of Iraq. The chairperson was sitting there with his thumb up his arse not saying anything. I called the guy on this, this woman sitting nearby stuck her big nose and mouth into it, and the chairperson did nothing. I got up and walked out.

[Hoosier Dem]

24. Over politics...

A few years ago, we had a hotly contested Democratic primary in our community. As somebody who was heavily involved in local politics, I made it clear that I could not support the party-backed candidate (who eventually went to prison for fraud), despite the fact that the local party leadership was pushing him. Well, I stuck to my guns. A few days later, my best friend let me know that because "didn't do what I was told" that he didn't think we should be seen together anymore. Apparently, the party bosses had told him that I was now considered an "outsider" because of my stance and that, if he wanted to continue with the Democratic Party, he needed to deep-six me.

On the other side of the coin, another friend of mine has drifted over to the Republican side (she's an evangelical). Her switch has not affected our friendship in any way. We still go to lunch, and I do enjoy our discussions. We respect each other's opinions even if we disagree. I have to say that I do enjoy seeing the reasoning behind some of her stances and she says that I give her things to think about.

To me, friendships should be above politics.

[mcscajun]

25. Sure did. She joined Scientology. I was tolerant at first...

...but then she got weirder and more strident, and one night we had an argument (at this point, I can't recall over what, but Scientology was definitely at the heart of it) and I asked her to leave my apartment. I have not seen or spoken to her in all the years since. I don't even know where she is...and I doubt she knows where I am, either.

That's okay, too.

I have one Republican friend; the only way we stay friends is that we no longer discuss politics, at my insistence.

[LanternWaste]

26. I've pre-empted the loss by following a very simple tactic.

I've pre-empted the loss by following a very simple tactic--

When a friend/family member engages me in a discussion and it's beginning to get ugly, I say, "but then again, I don't know anyone who believes their opinions on politics/religion are so absolute that it trumps a good friendship/family."

That simple statement automatically sets them up as petty and puerile if they continue with, "...but my opinions do trump friendships!". They see that and are forced to ackowledge it.

More often than not, that statement pretty much ends the conversation right there.

And, I'm being truthful when I use that tactic-- I think politics and religion are two of the most inane reasons to dislike a person or end a friendship.

[Lilith Velkor]

27. I lost a friend over racism

And it's not like I can change my ethnicity, so that was that.

[derby378]

29. I almost lost my brother over it

It's a bit personal, because my wife got dragged into it. It was kinda tense between us for a while, but it's better now. He's still conservative and I'm still progressive, but he's also a philosophy major, which means he has to deal with all sorts of opposing points of view.

Hey, he's my brother, and I love him. But all brothers fight once in a while.

[otohara]

30. Yes, She Recently Phoned

I asked her why on earth - how could she possibly have voted for *?

She wouldn't elaborate, but swore it wasn't the influence of her new hubby (which I don't believe)
Says she didn't vote in 04.

[NightHawk63]

31. Almost

I have a friend & co-worker that I've always known was pretty right-wing. He and his family are loyal Fox News viewers. One day coming back from lunch, he was talking about some case that was in the news about some kid that killed his parents. He then threw in that it's too bad that someone didn't do that for Chelsea Clinton and how much better off she would have been. Now, I'm not a rabid Clinton defender by any means, but I found that statement to be extremely detestable. I was so angry that I just shut up all the way back to work. On our walk back into the building, I just lost it and told him how disgusting I thought what he said was and how disappointed I was in him.

In most other areas, he really is a decent person, extremely generous and friendly to just about everyone he knows. But, he (and his family) have a particular hatred for the Clintons (especially Hillary) and Ted Kennedy. He did admit that what he said was pretty evil and apologized. It took me a while but I was able to get past that incident. I still consider him a friend, but I told him from that day forward, we would not discuss politics PERIOD.

[Doctor_J]

32. Estranged from my brother

Too bad, too. It would have been nice to have him and SIL more involved w/ my kids, and to enjoy talking to him more. He's really smart, but he's pretty much brainwashed by the media, so any discussion of any depth has no footing at all. He seems to actually believe the media is biased against the GOP, that Smirk is a man of God, and that thinga are better now than they were when Clinton was president. If he were more reality-based I'd probably talk to him 2-3 times a week instead of every couple months.