PHOTOS: A survey of Rapture Art on the Internets

[Bluebear]

OK I am getting a little apprehensive of what these rapture types are rooting for, what with all the carnage in the Middle East. A survey of "rapture art" on the internets reveals some disturbing tableaux.

This one is from "HisAmazingLove.org"...His "love" in this instance involves commercial jets falling from the sky and cars crashing hither and thither:



This scenario is puzzling, there are a bunch of Pilgrims and Native Americans being "raptured", but the folks in the "Community Church" are staying put! (snicker!)



In this Rapture, only people dressed like the characters from the Archie comicbooks of the early 70's will be taking the trip:


Oops, here we go again. Nobody could have IMAGINED a Rapture that involved flying planes into buildings! (Right, DOCTOR Rice?)


DOH! Not only did these people miss their Rapture, but they had to endure eight years of unprecedented economic growth in the US,
record stock prices AND $1.39/gallon gasoline. (1992-2000)


This is kind of a cool, gentle Rapture. Dad and daughter are being met by an angel and an enormous Shirley Temple.


Evidently, no shoes allowed in heaven.


Um, OK, this is all looking too complicated. Like an Amway pyramid or something.



Rapture as seen by the cheery people at "TheDayOfTheLordIsAtHand.com"


Palate cleanser:


Well, like I always say. Whatever gets you through the night. I just hope on hope that Bush and company don't hurry on OUR demise for their Armageddon.

[Nostradammit]

1. Thanks for the palate cleanser!

I was gonna have nightmares...


I think the people in the church ain't gettin' hoisted up to heaven 'cuz they're in the "GLOBAL Community Church."

[SammyBlue]

79. I am so glad I am not Christian. We Jews don't believe in this nonsense

Waiting for, looking forward to and welcoming death and the end of the world. What is wrong with these fucking Christian assholes?

[Nostradammit]

82. Well, I AM a Christian, and I don't believe any of the rapture bullshit

In fact, I'm pretty certain that if one were to deem one's self to be eligible for the rapture, one would automatically lack the requisite humility.

If that makes any sense.

The rapture crap is snake oil.

[SammyBlue]

84. BTW. . .love the avatar. Jimi rules!

At least it looks like Jimi.

[Nostradammit]

98. Amen SammyBlue!

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[RagingInMiami]

2. Planes flying into buildings?

Who would have ever imagined?

[eppur_se_muova]

58. Shouldn't Fatherland Security be busy questioning those people ? nt

[ChairmanAgnostic]

67. No, because "no one could imagine planes being hijacked for that purpose"

honestly. It must be true - Condi sed so.

[longship]

3. Just love those crashing airliners.

It's going to do a lot for the promotion of this rapture thing.

They need more images of raptured airliners crashing into big buildings full of the unsaved. While they're at it, make sure that the unsaved understand that they get to keep all the stuff of the raptured.

However, what will really happen is George Bush will announce an emergency cabinet meeting on how to deal with the sudden disappearance of all the homeless people nationwide.

[RadiDem]

4. More

Anti Christ Boogiemen



Heaven !



Rapture




http://www.christianityoasis.com/EndTimes/Rapture.htm

[rosesaylavee]

66. How come the women are all

lifted up to heaven by their pelvic bone? Not too sexist.

And in that last, there are no older people apparently. Hmmm. Sorry gramps. You just wasted 70 years of paying your tithe for nothing!

[HamdenRice]

102. Also all the women getting raptured are SOOOO HOT! nt

[Heddi]

85. That second picture

Looks like an ELO Album Cover. Tres 70's/80's I expect to see angels toodling around on glittered roller skates.

Rapture II - The Rock Opera!

[pauldp]

5. What I don't get is the 1000 year reign of Christ on Earth.

We had to wait 2006 years to get a 1000 year reign?
Not a very good return on investment IMO.

[magellan]

6. Okay, someone explain something to me

In that second to last one it says Jesus descends to the Earth with raptured saints to rule during the millenium. If non-believers and sinners are basically discarded by god at that point, then what is he returning to rule over and why?

I just hate not knowing important things like this! :P

[DRoseDARs]

11. Clouds aren't a particularly good soil to build megachurches on...

So once the filth (re:you and me) are cleansed from the Earth, Jebus and his mindless sheeple will land and build shiny happy temples made of gold and marshmellows and live happily ever after...

...until God finishes what He started and simply ends the universe altogether 1000 years from the start of Jebus' happy wonderland on Earth.

Yes, in fundie Christian mythology, God actually goes through the trouble of making our lives literally a living Hell for 7 years, then exterminates us, then let's His son rule some sheeple for a 1000 years, then ends the universe and everything in it. Fucking freaks. :eyes:

[magellan]

25. Thanks

It was bound to make no sense. Whatever bad shit they're smoking, I'll pass.

[Der Blaue Engel]

7. Oh, dear...I had that "Archie" type comic when I was a kid!

Having horrible flashbacks now...actually, no, I'm having a helluva chuckle, thanks! :D

[lectrobyte]

101. This is very strange

I think the message here is that when the rapture comes, you want to be left behind just a little so you can see up the skirts of the really cute girls...



look at the boy in the jacket with armband towards the lower center. hmmm.

[Kurovski]

8. Thanks Bluebear, I'm a big fan of

psychotic art.

Some super stuff here!

[myrna minx]

43. This type of artwork reminds me of

early medieval imagery. :scared: The Earth is FLAT.

[Phrogman]

9. This stuff is just too fucking weird

We should ban people from politics if they believe in garbage like this.
And they definitely should not have a drivers license nor firearms.

[Bluebear]

10. Worse. THEY are considered normal now.

Those scientific types who believe in global warming? THOSE are now the weirdoes.

[Phrogman]

26. How did this happen? Where are all the adults in America?

Dude, wheres my country?

[Skidmore]

12. Aha, I get where these people think the rapture will be happening

within the year or even month now. They think the last 6 plus years have been the tribulation and that it is now ending. There was a comment on the board a few days ago about someone having seen an August 3rd date for the rapture somewhere. I couldn't call to mind anything that would explain it and this post jogged my memory about the length of the tribulation. Apparently, they believe that they have travailed enough.

[DRoseDARs]

16. The Rapture is supposed to happen before the Tribulation...

The "saved" are supposed to be taken into Heaven to spare them from the 7 years of misery called the Tribulation. The rest of us are judged and given one last chance to choose sides and either live for a thousand years with Jebus or be cast into the lake of fire alongside Satan (yes, he too gets to burn because God/Jebus finally decides to get up off His ass and do something for the first time ever about him :eyes: ) and suffer there for a thousand years... and then God simply ends the universe.

[LibertyLover]

50. Ah, but that's Pre-Trib rapture theology

There are some fundy groups that believe in a Post-trib rapture and some who preach mid-trib rapture. Me - I'm waiting for Jesus to bring the pork chops.

[Ian David]

30. Condi told her church that Jesus would save the people in New Orleans...

before the government could.

She expected people to be Raptured off the rooftops of New Orleans... so why bother sending busses?

[Qutzupalotl]

57. Weird thing is, the word "Rapture" is not in Revelations.

See for yourself. One theologian just assumed the "saved" would be spared the tribulation.

[rosesaylavee]

69. Sure, it all makes sense now...

6 years of this administration and the dreadful year before it when Jr was campaigning.

Sheesh. Silly sheeple.

[Hekate]

13. "The kingdom of God is spread out before you, & you do not see it"

The great mythologist Joseph Campbell took that to mean that the kindgdom of God is in the Here and Now -- that believers need to look at the world with different eyes, and they will see it. I think the words of Jesus bear out that interpretation.

Jesus did not write Revelations, much less the library of Rapture fiction that has been all over the best seller lists these past 15 or 20 years.

The world has always had people who want to chuck their ordinary lives for something radically different, and studies have been done on what goes into making a "true believer" who waits for someone or something to take him/her away -- to heaven, to a flying saucer, to another plane of existence.

Seldom, however, to such people attain political power, and with good reason -- most are too busy waiting, and the ones who want power are dangerous when they get it.

I would look on the Rapture Ready people of today with pity if they didn't have advocates all through our government, including the Oval Office. That's what makes them dangerous, after all.

Hekate

[Chipper Chat]

14. From the pics it appears that only thin people will be raptured.

Guess I'd better start skipping McDonalds for lunch and avoid Pizza Hut for supper.

[NJCher]

72. those faces look mighty white, too

Some of you people best be working on your skin color if you want to get raptured.




Cher

[Chipper Chat]

100. Yazzuh, Cher. I'll have a double dollop of mayonaisse.

Always happy to see your skinny cat! Cheers.

[LUHiWY]

104. Good point...

You are not going to levitate too well if you are overweight?

[SoCalDem]

15. What it will probably be like.. (at least I hope so)

Cindy Lou & Jim Get Raptured......a cautionary tale

Posted by SoCalDem in General Discussion
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x1693396
Fri Jul 21st 2006, 07:37 AM


All through the McMansion there has been a super-charged atmosphere for weeks, as the family gets ready for their big trip.. Cindy cannot tear herself from the TV. Fox News is sending her "signals"..It's all falling into place.. It's TIME to get ready..The anticipation is so great that the whole family is almost in danger of being mistaken for Shakers..

Sometimes it seems as if there is too much to do, to ever get ready, but then this trip requires no packing (all worldly goods will be left behind)...but Jim has faithfully been washing and waxing the cars..(cleanliness IS next to Godliness, after all)

Cindy Lou still has Consuela dust all the treasures and wax the antique furniture.

The best part of the whole anticipation is that Cindy Lou has finally been able to give up that darned daily trip to the gym. She wonders aloud sometimes, if her gym-buddies miss her. (Jesus loves her just as she is). Of course while the pre-Rapture time passes, there's no need to pass up all those "forbidden fruits"...and she's not talking about APPLES..

Gluttony is a sin, but even Jesus will surely be in favor of the family savoring the last few bits of "worldly goods", so the Domino's guy has been getting a real workout, and those "all-you-can-eat" places are a treasure too (especially the dessert table), now that dieting is not necessary. Those expensive size 2's can just hang there for all eternity.. Cindy Lou won't be needing them when she meets Jesus.

Jim is having a "wardrobe" quandary though, and has faithfully been researching the exact time-frame of the rapture itself.. You see, he is wondering if he should swallow those little pills as he gets raptured, because if he puts them in his pockets, they will get left behind. He's hoping that things "up there" will be so perfect that the little pills won't be necessary for his issues "down there", but the Bible does say "Always Be Prepared"...(or.. that was the boy scouts manual.)... anyway he's thinking that if he swallows them really fast, he and Cindy Lou can truly "christen" their new digs up there with Jesus. Surely Jesus will be distracted at SOME point, what with all the fellow Christians arriving en masse.. Perhaps they can sneak off to a secluded place and have some privacy. Rumor has it that privacy still might exist "up there"..

The children are have a few difficulties preparing for their journey. Sixteen year old Tiffani swears it's because she's rather attached to her charge cards, and her Morris Minor, but unbeknownst to the parents, it's really because her secret boyfriend just happens to be named Carlos, and being Catholic, he's being left behind. This will come as good news to his Mom, Consuela.

Jacob Lucas (aged 18, and a freshman in college) is not all that happy to leave his friends. He's seriously thinking of converting to the Baha'i faith just in case. He says he will, but he may not actually have time, since Mom & Dad are pretty sure this whole thing's going down pretty soon. Jake has always been a procrastintor, so he still carries around the unread flyers about the faith. He may get around to reading them after the Beer Bash this weekend.

One good thing about the rapture is that Mom & Dad have given him full use of the credit cards, so he's having a really great time driving around in the Hummer, and filling it up with premium..(no one's going to actually have to pay the bill anyway). His friends are enjoying the fact that Jake's paying no matter where they go or how much the tab is.

Both kids really want to stay behind, especially if it means that Mom & Dad WON'T be staying, but in their heart of hearts they know they too will probably end up raptured too, so they plan on having as much fun as they can while they can.



whooooooosh.....

Cindy Lou looks around and is a bit startled to see some blank stares, where she expected smiles...but then, dental work apparently gets left behind too.. It's rather stuffy, and smells faintly of fish sauce and Shalimar perfume. There are quite a few bald men (toupees get left too), but at least blonde women are not extinct here..

She and her family take cuts to speed up their turn to get to the front of the line..

Finally it's their turn..

Well THAT was a big surprise..

It turns out that the Rapture is not what they expected. It's really about attonement, and there's been someone keeping score. Apparently being nice to only the people you LIKE, is not that much of a virtue, and not paying your fair share is not acceptable either.The rapture seems to be the protestant version of Purgatory..and Cindy Lou's not a happy camper.. The scene from that old movie keeps running through her mind.. "IT'S A COOKBOOK"!!

So, for eternity they get to defy gravity, BUT, they must look down for all eternity and see what they have left behind..they must watch as Carlos drives that shiny Hummer, and checks the time on Jim's Rolex..Cindy has to watch as Consuela puts her FEET up on that Chippendale table while she and her family wait for their catered meal to arrive. She has to watch Consuela interview housekeepers..She has to watch as Consuela pours her expensive perfume (Freedom Perfume) into the bath water.. She has to watch as Consuela puts her precious shitzu, Mitzi-Pitzi on the back porch.

The "left behinders" are very tired.. They have spent days just picking shit up.. Its been a veritable "Easter Egg Hunt"..with Faberge eggs..and gems...and cell phones dancing on concrete..and designer clothes..and those damned little blue pills.. The neighborhood dogs are going CRAZY after mistaking them for doggy treats... All over the place people are saying THANK YOU JESUS FOR TAKING THESE ASSHOLES OFF OUR HANDS..as they survey their new digs, and toodle around on less crowded freeways.

PS..God is a Divorced Gay Black Woman named Edith...she wears a purple, beaded caftan with Mardi Gras beads..and red flip-flops...Jesus is half black-half Chinese

[LouisianaLiberal]

47. Brilliant. But don't you want to know what Christ will look like?

On March 7, 1999, an amazing miracle happened to the Greiner family. The visible “Shekinah Glory” of God began to form in their studio/home, first on the floor, then on the walls and door of Max’s prayer closet. Click here to learn more about the "Shekinah Glory Dust Miracle." Then the supernatural manifestation, which looks like fine glitter dust, spread to the rest of the house & started forming on the skin and clothing of the Greiner family. The “Glory Dust” also materialized on other people, as the Greiners shared about Jesus. Scientists at Texas A&M University tested the unusual particles and stated: “The particles were not naturally occurring (on earth) and were a new, created substance.” Max has electron microscope photographs of the unusual particles.


At 9:20 PM, on October 12, 1999, as Max put the finishing touches on the 1/6 life-size wax sculpture, the horse’s foot instantly turned golden! To his astonishment, Max discovered that the entire sculpture and every inch of his skin, clothing and shoes were sparkling with millions of golden dust particles! In that moment, Max believes God spoke in His “still, small voice” and said, “Max, I’m pleased with you.” To this day, this “last days” Sign and Wonder continues to manifest in the lives of the Greiners, and on thousands of other people, as they simply pray and witness about Jesus, and His soon return.

On edit: posted without link. Also, don't know how to resize photos. Sorry for the size
http://www.maxgreinerart.com/TCK.html

[Ghost in the Machine]

56. He'll look like the Burger King??

Looks just like the guy from the Burger King commercials! :rofl:

[LouisianaLiberal]

61. Lol. Now that's scary.

[eppur_se_muova]

60. This guy is seriously fucked-up in the head. He has pages and pages on ...

this supposed "Shekinah Glory Dust Miracle." The actual letter from Texas A&M indicates that the particles are plastic with a thin metal coating, like glitter (surprise!). But his description blows this up into something not made of any element found on Earth! Talk about hearing only what you believe in hearing! This bolsters the argument for "excessive religious conviction" as a certifiable mental disorder.

[texanwitch]

17. In the second picture the people waiting for the bus are not going.

I wonder why that is, if you ride the bus you are evil.

[DeSwiss]

18. Ya know, I can see a golden opportunity here.....

Given that this "art" depicts none of the airline passengers being raptured, this could turn into a bonanza for the ailing airlines industry. It would go something like this.......

American Airlines, the airline that brought you First Class, and then Business Class, now announces the new Special AA Rapture Seating™ seating on all American Airlines continental and selected foreign flights!

Our Special AA Rapture Seating™ has been specially designed to eject the occupant clear of the plane's fuselage, while "in-flight" in the event of an imminent Rapture episode. Plus, as an added bonus, only with OUR airline customers, you'll be able to say: "I was one of the "FIRST RAPTURED!"

We're not like those other airlines where the "Chosen Ones" risk entangling themselves along with the rest of the debris known as "The Left Behind." And what's more, you can reserve your special "Special AA Rapture Seating™" on all our flights (except Muslim, Buddhist, and Hindu countries and elsewhere, where prohibited by regular law, Mosaic Law, Fatwa or Jihad).

So call now and reserve your Special AA Rapture Seating™ today! You don't want to be on that important Business Trip For The Lord and get caught unawares. And included with this offer, with the special code below, you can save 10% (or donate it to your favorite Christian charity) on all flights to godless cities like Los Angeles, New Orleans (what's left of it), Hell's Kitchen, Salt Lake City, San Francisco, P-Town and of course, New York.

Just call this toll free number: 1*888*466-3669, that's 1*888*GONENOW, and say: "I Want My Tickets Rapted," and then have your proof of baptism license ready, along with the name of your church and pastor (males only), and a Minion of your friends who can vouch for your sanctity!

A friendly (and Christian) customer service representative will process your application through our Divine Database® (which is linked with DHS, NSA, FOF, 700 Club and AFA for complete verification and authentication) and your tickets will be speeding to you.

And don't worry, we'll find you: WE KNOW WHERE YOU ARE.

So, CALL NOW!!!

CODE #: Psalms-49:10

[Kurovski]

49. LOL. Along with this I imagine there could no longer be

Fundamentalist pilots in their employ.

Line up you of the heathen, great job opportunities await!

No more cabbies, truck, bus or drivers of any sort. No heavy machinery, no nuthin'.

All Fundies with a conscience should turn in their driver's licenses now.

But it appears most wouldn't care if their car plowed into a crowded playground as their sanctified ass floats off to a warm and creamy heavenly reward. Did it ever even occur to them?

I would imagine there would be a serious push by FC's to promote public transportation, walking, biking, high-speed and light-rail systems. Do they? Or is Fundamentalism the form of Christianity all about the self and the rewards program? The "don't listen to that Jesus guy" offshoot of Christianity?

Is it like having a nice credit card points system where the more you spend on yourself, the more you are given? What would Jesus say?

[Poll_Blind]

19. Obligatory Jack Chick tract on The Rapture...

Who's Missing? I loved these things- used to find them at the bus station downtown. They were the love of my life, until Cherry Poptart.



PB

[rosesaylavee]

70. I LOVE these! Thanks for posting a link...

several other frames here... but I love the face on this woman and had to share.




There, I have learned something new today ... now I can go to bed.

[dalaigh lllama]

106. Wow. I've never seen one of these tracts before

Jack Chick, eh? I knew that one woman wasn't going to get saved as soon as she lit that cigarette. I liked the frozen, vapid smiles on the faces of the "saved" -- looks like they're all waiting for their special glass of KoolAid. Thanks for sharing.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

20. Since when did the pilgrims and Native Americans have cars?

[mogster]

21. Here's a good one

Found here some time ago ;-)

[cynatnite]

22. People in the church are w/ the anti-christ

A lot of people who believe this drivel think the anti-christ will usher in a one-world religion of some kind. That's why all those people are in the church. The sign says as much.

Want to screw with a christian's head...tell them the a/c may have already started taking over some churches. :evilgrin:

[dalaigh lllama]

107. As hot as it is

The a/c has taken over our house for some time now (hehehe).

[Judi Lynn]

23. People wearing skirts should always remember to be sure their

underwear is very clean and not tattered, to avoid embarrassing themselves lest they loom over someone's face on the "outta here" part of the rapture.

[Kailassa]

24. Not much frightens me these days.

But glazed-eye rapture-ready Christians sure do.

Many evil things have been done in the name of Christianity, but we have't seen the worst of them yet.

[xchrom]

27. k&r

these people are a cancer on the faith.

i just hope it doesn't take surgery to deal with the disease.

[tabasco]

28. Looks like Adam & Steve flying up in that second pic!

Maybe we have a radical subversive rapturist at work here!!

:crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy::crazy:

[tabasco]

29. Ahhhhh, how sad.

In that second pis there's a guy crawling up the roof of the church and another guy jumping up and down on the roof.

Trying to get their piece of the action, waiting for their magic shoe jets to turn on.

[WillyT]

31. Hey !!! - I Thought All The Floaters Were Supposed Ta Be Naked ???

And Wal-Mart was gonna be able to restock its shelves with all the left behind clothing?

:wtf:

[Imperialism Inc.]

32. Thank goodness this one is from a spoof newspaper.

[tularetom]

36. LOL It should be fairly easy to pick out

the rapturees in any crowd, since all the pictures portray them in bad '50's "Leave It To Beaver" clothing and haircuts.

[Kurovski]

44. Look closely at that painting...

the fundies are as oblivious to suffering and destruction as they always are, only this time they think they'll be rewarded for it.

I don't recall Jesus ever retelling any stories about arrogance in the face of human suffering as being a key to the kingdom of heaven.

[Bluebear]

48. Perfect observation. nt

[Heddi]

73. Great fucking quote

I wish I could reccomend a your post! Absolutely spot on. Mind if I quote this in my sig line? I think it's brilliant.

:cheers:

[Kurovski]

89. You may.

:toast:

[Heddi]

93. Thank you! I shall

You should put that on a T-Shirt. I'd buy one. AND I'd wear it, too :) Bumper-stickers, even. Just remember us little people who knew you "way back then" when your quote becomes the this generation's version of the "shit happens" phenomena of the 80's.

We love ya, man. we knew ye when ye were just a babe :D

[Ediacara]

53. This looks like it belongs in North Korea

[Lucy - Claire]

33. Funny how nobody is naked or having sex

Imagine also that Christians having sex during when the rapture comes, will the fiy to heaven joined sweaty and naked.
Are they avoiding having sex just in case Jesus appears.

[tularetom]

34. Appears as if the preacher was raptured

out of the "Global Community Church" but all the poor schmucks in the congregation were Left Behind. (Anybody remember the Simpson's episode "Left Below"?)

[HughBeaumont]

35. This is what a REAL rapture looks like:

[malaise]

37. Well since all those 'raptured'

in those paintings are white, looks like we 'sinners' will be 'Moving on Up' to some nice empty homes and SUVs. Get on with it and please leave those ATM pin numbers -bubye!!!

[ms liberty]

38. Thanks

If I weren't so angry that the Rapture Cult is trying to end life as we know it, I'd have some emotional space to be worried that about 30% of the population of the US have psychopathic tendancies.

The palate cleanser was nice, though!

[Gman]

39. Why are they all white people?

stupid question.

[iamahaingttta]

40. Goddamit...

...would those people just Rapture already? I'm getting sick and tired of listening to them go on and on about it! I wish they would just get it over with and leave the rest of us alone. We can run a perfectly nice planet without them...

[Buns_of_Fire]

41. I would think a good part of being "Rapture Ready" (tm) would be

to be outside when the time comes. Being raptured right through the roof (or multiple roofs, if you're on the bottom floor of a 20-story building), or through the roof of your car, or right through those power lines overhead, is gonna leave a mark.

Jes' helping out. ( :bounce: <=== Jerry Falwell, trying to achieve escape velocity)

[YOY]

42. You know some of those chicks in the Archie Comic are the Bomb

Gawd sure has good taste when it comes to knowing which chippies to rapture.

[MadJohnShaft]

45. It looks as if one will be Raptured via one's Breasts

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

46. They've got a fixation with airplanes and other vehicles

...don't they.

Makes me wonder if they plagiarized that Stephen King story.

[Generic Other]

51. Here's a link to my flash video: Rapture Party Death Trip

http://media.putfile.com/Rapture-Party-Death-Trip-

[Bluebear]

52. I'm on a death trip, baby!

EXCELLENT! :toast:

[gatorboy]

54. I don't quite get it.

How so many (oy, too many) can believe on one side, that they're truely kind and good and on another, get off on so much global mayhem and suffering.

The Jews and Muslims have got to hurry up and start killing more of each other so these guys can get into heaven! :eyes:

[lectrobyte]

55. Thank you. The pics are great.

[Clarkie1]

59. Marley.

Most people think,
Great God will come from the skies,
Take away everything
And make everybody feel high.
But if you know what life is worth,
You will look for yours on earth:
And now you see the light,
You stand up for your rights. jah!

[Gruenemann]

62. Glad it won't happen to me:

I'm scared as hell of heights!

[sagesnow]

63. Isn't that Mary Poppins in that Second Picture ....

She's the one on the street near the cemetary. I want her parasol since she has no further use for it.

[dalaigh lllama]

64. Well, now I know how they become mentally whacko

You know they've probably got these pictures hanging in their kids' bedrooms. Notice in the second picture that one of the kids has been "raptured" but the rest of the family, including the sibling, are left behind. What a great message to give your small children.:scared:

[Der Blaue Engel]

108. Bingo

I'm still in recovery, myself. They made us kids watch "A Thief in the Night" when I was 7, about a woman who gets left behind and tortured because she won't take the Mark of the Beast. I came home from school once when I was about 8, and no one was home, and the tea kettle had been left on. I was sobbing and hysterical by the time my mother came back from running next door to help out a neighbor. Oh, but "He has not given us a spirit of fear." Yeah. You betcha.

[dalaigh lllama]

110. That's just terrible!

I can't think of any other way to frame this -- may I ask how you got away?

[Der Blaue Engel]

112. I went to college

Just as my father always feared, the secular humanists led me astray. :D

[sagesnow]

65. Is Evangelical Christianity a Death and Revenge Cult?

These pictures to me speak of obsessive thoughts stemming from a Fear of Death. Also these people seem to have an obsessive wish for revenge toward other people that "good Christians" hate because they don't believe, look and act as WASP's(White Anglo-Saxon Protestants)should. Just my 2cents. Does anyone have info on the psychology of evangelicals? They just don't seem mentally healthy to me.

[Bluebear]

68. The imagery is extremely violent and vindictive.

Ha ha ha, I am going to be taken into the sky while you crash on a Greyhound bus with no driver. Wheeeee!

I agree, it is not mentally healthy; unfortunately these people are regarded as normal nowadays, and those of us talking about global warming are the conspiracy theorists.

[Lifelong Protester]

71. This is so whack

so the elderly couple in picture two, the one where the woman has a cane? They get left behind?? Geez, haven't they suffered enough? And then look there is a white clad body rising up out of the ground by the maple tree, buried it would seem OUTSIDE the hallowed ground of the cemetery? What gives there??

And the 'air Nike' one, made me nearly fall off my chair!

I am now seriously worried as I have some co-workers who really get off on those "Left Behind" books.
And BTW, what the hell is Bush implying with his education act, "NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND"? I guess only if they can stuff intelligent desing down everyone's throat, eh? Get rid of sex ed.? Make schools push 'abstinance only'?

[Heddi]

74. This is the funniest, ass-kicking'est *AND* most spot-on thread I've seen

Totally reccomending this thread. The pictures are just wild...remind me of Sunday School---why did they terrorize 4th graders with these images? Just get out the felt board and felt Jesus and get on with it.

But the comments in this thread are just right on.

The poster "Kurovski" made this statement:

"Look closely at that painting...
the fundies are as oblivious to suffering and destruction as they always are, only this time they think they'll be rewarded for it.

I don't recall Jesus ever retelling any stories about arrogance in the face of human suffering as being a key to the kingdom of heaven."

Right. Fucking. On.


====
I think that alot of people who are seen as hating religion actually DON'T hate religion, as an idea, but rather harbour certain....distate for the people who drew this picture. Who commissioned this picture. Who views THAT as the 'end all be all' of life, basically. It's a sick and twisted thought. There is no joy in these pictures. As MANY posters have pointed out, these suckers are just as calm as clams as the fucking world below them just burns...their unsaved friends and family among the tortured. That's reallly sick "Oh yeah, we were best friends and I loved you like a sister for the last 50 years of my life, but I'm saved and you're not. Bye bye" ya know.

Sick. Just sick. That's not religion. That's Anti-Religion. I can't imagine why someone would pray to a God who favours rudeness and lack of compassion and understanding. I mean, *DOES* God want televangelists and corruption and closed-mindeness? No love? Intolerance and selfishness and arrogance? The whole "Jesus" thing was just a "pulling your leg"? Sounds like a real asshole to me.....

[Bluebear]

75. I love ya for that rant.

An excellent one at that, and you explain my feelings to the last word.

[Heddi]

80. I love DU threads like this

Go from the top and just read straight down. It's a conversation. A real conversation. I love threads that are like this. Funny, relevant, and intelligent.

[Swamp Rat]

76. That crapola is as lifeless as Adolf Hitler's "art."

[NJCher]

77. novel idea for a thread

What a great idea for a thread, bluebear. I haven't had so much fun since I took psilocybin and went on the campus tour of Bob Jones University when I was 18.

Your comments had me laughing--especially the one about "Premillennial Posttribulation Rapture!" OMG!!!

Well, I think the very least we can say about these pictures is that they lack (ahem) spiritual depth.

And that they exhibit the emotional maturity of PeeWee Herman.

Seriously, I think it could be quite revealing to analyze them in depth. There is something so striking about the neat little neighborhoods and the retro clothes (like that one with bush). Very, very interesting.

This thread is a keeper!




Cher

[Jara sang]

78. I guess the pilot got raptured.

[Straight Shooter]

81. Why wait for the Rapture. Leave now.

Seen on a bumper sticker. :evilgrin:

[Heddi]

83. Wow. Heaven is going to be so....caucasian!

It's obvious from these "artists renditions" that the far, far majority of those who will be "Saved" are quite white.

So my question: why waste all that time sending missionaries to pillage and psychologically blackmail all those brown folks who t'aint never done hurd the wurd of ourlordandsavoirjesuschrist??? Shit...just leave the damn people alone if they're not gonna be saved!

[Warren DeMontague]

86. Christ as cosmic dustbuster.

I notice in picture #2, the slothful individual still in bed -with the messy room- did NOT get sucked up. Let that be a lesson to YOU, Jimmy Brown!

The "archie" one is great. Wow. Such pouty lips -and firm breasts- to greet our lord!

[LeftofU]

87. Do not mock the Giant Shirley Temple!

Do you not know the way?

[LUHiWY]

105. !!!!!!!!!

Amen brother.....

[usregimechange]

88. Jesus was hidden behind a comet

[sakabatou]

90. It almost seems like the Rapturists like 9-11 type terrorist attacks

[Hissyspit]

91. These people are in charge of our government.

[Heddi]

92. and they're teachers. And nurses. And they are our neighbors

My opinion is that anyone who harbours such....thoughts? fantasies? wishes? as those depicted in the above pictures has serious issues with their mentation that need to be looked into. Seriously. That is a sick mind.

Why do I have a feeling this would be considered "terrorist art" if the people in the picture were "brown" or "looked muslim", even if the crashing planes and feiry torturous eternity were the same? Oh, cuz they're white and christian, it's okay...it's for OUR god, the RIGHT god. But if it's THEM---it's propaganda. Anti-Christian screed. gonna rape our pure white wimmen and take over our country. Look at the pictures, even. they're *glorifying* flying planes into buildings etc etc etc.

Me, I feel bad for the already-dead. Sure, they get raptured, but they don't get to experience the sweet, sweet victory and arrogance the "living" get to experience as they turn to their beloved grandma (who is NOT rising through the clouds) and flip her a figurative religious-version of the finger and say "Scroo you grammy! You ain't saved and I am. Burn in hell you old bitty. Remember when I tole ya how much I loved ya? Well I lied cuz you ain't saved. You can give Jimmy my baseball card collection, by the way". How unfair that the already-dead don't get the god given right to mock those who aren't saved. Where's the fun if there's no vengeance associated with eternal happiness alongside GOd???

"Pastor Jim, I know I'm gonna go to heaven because I t'aint got not one bit of compassion for those dirty sinners and will feel the loving light of god shine through me as I see everyone I loved burn in the eternal brimstone fires of hell. God says I'm better than them!"

[texanwitch]

94. Hello Heidi

I like the second picture.

:pals:

[Heddi]

97. Hi back atcha

I like the savage, loin-cloth wearin' injuns. I mean indians. I mean "our naturally tanned brothers and sisters who own the very nice casino in the next town, not that people like us would gamble, which makes you wonder why those godless savage natives would be allowed into my pristine melanin-free heaven iff'in I had to give up the drink and looking at my wife's boobies just to get up there. Oh yeah, and I really missed that 30% from my yearly paycheck. I wonder if I get thatmoney back with interest in heaven?"

[Hissyspit]

95. Basic moral logic:

Who wants to go to Heaven if everyone doesn't get to go to Heaven? I will go to Hell to be with the lost and forgotten and human.

Not that I believe in a Heaven or Hell.

Don't worry, I have to live with these people every day. I live in North Carolina. I watch what I say even in a college classroom setting. Even the professors in the Religion and Philosophy departments have to tread very lightly. It's ridiculous. Sad, sad time in American history.

[Heddi]

96. I grew up in Charleston, SC and lived there til 2001

when hubby and I had the plain sense to get up and move to SEattle. Of course, now we currently live in Central/Eastern Washington, which is actually not very much different from living in the South. It feels so at home here :eyes:

I'm a nurse--the other day I was in a patient's room and the TV was on the news about all this shit in the Middle East. THe mother of the patient (who was a teenager) was hootin' and hollerin' at the TV and saying shit like "Yeah, blow 'em all up. Maybe they'll get some of those terrorists while they're at it!!!" Then the news talked about Sadaam being on a hunger strike and she says "Oh, I'll hep him along! I'LL HEP HIM ALONG heee heee heee" and looked at me and said "Wouldn't you????" Lady, like I can even answer that question, ya know. Shut up and tend to your sick daughter instead of orgasming over the daily televised spoonfeeding of death and mayhem.

Oh yeah--regarding heaven/hell. Kind of like that Twilight Zone where the old guy dies and is walking along a road that supposedly leads to heaven, but the guy at the gate won't let his huntin' dog go with him, and the old guy is like "I don't know if I want to spend eternity in a place that don't welcome my dog like they welcome me". Right on.

If God/whatever can't accept my spots, then I don't know if I want anything to do with that God. I mean he/she/it created me, right? Oh but now THAT'S not good enough. Now I gotta give up dancin' and smokin', can't lust after my husband, can't wear short skirts and have to nix the birth control...yeah. Fun. God hates women?

[The Icon Painter]

103. Hi, Heddi from Ikon

I thought I recognized your voice even before I looked at the name. Thanks for the link to this thread.

[Heddi]

99. Heaven looks boring

Look at the people being "ascended"---it's like a fucking Lawrence Welk revival. Such unassuming clothing. Modest hairstyles. Practical, yet stylish low pumps and loafers.

Ugh. Heaven is like 1950. Deviled Eggs and jello molds with fruit levitating inside of it. Taupe and brown and burgundy and blah. The music we'd have to endure---Anne Murray and those kids that sing sanitized versions of modern pop songs in annoyingly high tunes "This STUFF Is bananas! b-a-n-a-n-a-s!" Ugh. A bunch of nosey busy-bodies who drive excessively large cars at excessively low speeds and whose women use excessively large amounts of hair spray on a daily basis. It is these helmet-heads that I personally blame for the hole in the Ozone layer.

Maybe they made the ozone layer hole so that getting to Heaven is easier---don't have to bump your head on that stupid and imposing atmosphere.

What happens when they get into space? How much longer do they float? They seem to be going pretty slow--not at the speed of light, or sound even. I think that their journey to heaven is an eternity in and of itself.

[Deja Q]

109. Those in the Archie Comic have one thing in common: Big

long 70s hair! :rofl:

[Kurovski]

111. They look drugged out. Lookin' through a four-way window pane.

What was that quote by Karl Marx again?