Lost in the Lance Bass hoopla

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I finally got the hard copy of People Magazine where Lance Bass states he is gay. It actually is a fairly touching interview. I can't give a link for what I am about to print but it is three questions from an interview of seventeen questions. They have to do with his telling his band mates and his family.

"Do all the guys now know? Joey was the first to find out. I was at my house in Orlando like five years ago, and I was actually dating someone at the time-a guy-it was the first person I ever dated, which was very strange. I was just in my office and Joey walked in and kind of saw us way closer than friends would be, just standingreally close. And he was like, "Oh, sorry!" I knew at taht moment that he knew. I told him and he was like, "Dude, I don't care."

When did you tell your family? It was really hard. It was something I'd been toying with for probably the last couple of years because I knew I wanted a closer relationship with my family. And for the last few years I was not that close with them just because of this one thing. They could never meet the people that I love. I have a sister I told her a year ago. I was at her house for Christmas. It was so hard because it tok me forever to finally get it out. I findally blurted it. I'm like. "I'm gay." And she started laughing becuause she thought I was joking. And I was like, "I'm not kidding." And she went white . She immediately started crying and left, and I was like, "Great." She went downstairs, and my brother-in-law, who is the biggest country boy, man of men, she went straight to him. And I was like, "I didn't want Ford to know!" He comes up with her and he was so collected. He goes, "I don't care." And my sister was like, "The only reason I'm crying is because I think it's going to kill our parents."

How did they react? The worst part about it was my mom found out not from me. She found out on the Internet, and that's what just killed me. She'd read an article about the rumors and stuff and she Googled and found all these things She went over to my sister's ous and was like "Is it ture?" and mu sister was like "Yes, it is." and she broke down and it destroyed her for a little bit. It really does hurt knowing that they are going to have to live back hime in a place where it's nnot looked at very highly. Their biggest concern was the family. And they told their parents- both sets of grandparents are still alive. That's what I was really concerned about because they come from an older genoration Mississippi Deep South. My mom was really going nuts having to tell them. She told them last week. And I get a call from my Mimi, my grandma, my mom's mom. She was like, you know what I may not agree with it, but I live you just the same and you're welcome in my house anytime. They took it so well.

end of quote.

I think this illustrates both the fear and the often pleasant surprise many gays and lesbians face when they come out. Think about this for a moment. Here you had a guy who had fame, lots of money, total independence. If anyone had an ability to discount the reaction of his family, Lance was it. Now imagine someone the same age or younger who doesn't have these advantages. Imagine him going to a Southern Baptist Church in Clinton Mississippi with his parents week in and week out knowing he carries this secret. Now imagine coming up with the courage to face the music and tell your parents. Lance may not do much else for gays but by giving this interview he opens a window and that helps.

[pinto]

1. His mom 'found out' on the internet, not from him, in person.

That says something. There's a voyeuristic slice of the internet that discounts real people's real lives for some vicarious short term blog thrill.

People wonder why gays get tired of the "so and so's gay" internet runaround - some of it has to do with the apparent assumption that being gay is a flaw, a piece of someone's life to be "managed" like a past grand theft conviction, and some of it has to do with the knowledge that there but for the grace, go I. It's all pretty juvenile and it shouldn't be *our* problem.

Here's an example of the conflict a family dealt with because Lance Bass, whoever he is, apparently famous, was outed second hand to his mom. It's a hard discussion to have, believe me, and to have that 'opportunity' undermined by some verbal paparazzi is unfortunate, to say the least.

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2. It is bad

He evidently hadn't even told Justin before giving the interview. I can't imagine being a gay public figure. I was threatened with being outed in high school and was pretty much outed in college. It was not fun but at least I did get to tell my parents in my own time and way. I can't imagine having lost control of that.

[idgiehkt]

3. thanks so much for typing all that out.

I really appreciate it. Wow, I can't believe his sister didn't know.

Perez Hilton was working this hard because apparently Lance and Reichen were wearing each other's clothes around town and someone noticed and put two and two together.

I think there are so many gossip blogs around that they are all trying to make a name for themselves whatever way they possibly can.

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4. It is hard to believe

but often we believe what we want to believe. I know that my family suspected before I told them but I also was quite the liar about taht. One of my college roommate's reaction was "no you are bi" because I had lied to convincingly about women.

[nealmhughes]

5. Why do I keep on wanting to make a "Gays in Space" joke,

when I actually am quite proud of the lad?

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6. We all have loopy ideas from time to time

that was his. I am glad for him, his religion was a serious obstacle for him.