The Hour Is Late…Why Hesitate…Purchase Your Rapture Luggage Today….

[Montagnard]

$29.95 for Preacher Clideus’ Matching Rapture Luggage.



Are we on the verge of Armageddon?

http://www.rawstory.com/news/2006/Video_Soem_Christians_see_Biblical_endtimes_0725.html

[proud2BlibKansan]

1. LOL

They don't need no stinkin luggage. The Lord will provide all they need.

[htuttle]

2. Wait a minute -- I was told I was going to be able to take my car!

[abluelady]

4. Uh Uh

In my neighborhood the cars have bumper stickers that tell us they are going to be vacant when the rapture comes. I have my eye on a little red one......

[Double T]

3. looks like the rapture luggage could also double as a body bag.....

only the keepers of the nuclear WMD know for sure and they won't send out advanced announcements

[LiberalEsto]

5. So you CAN take it with you!

I always suspected as much.

[myrna minx]

6. Well we all know that they're going to "rich man's heaven."

:rofl:

[Scurrilous]

7. Will that fit...

...through the eye of a needle?

[warrens]

8. I can fix you up with a Heavenly Checking Account

You give me your cash, and I give you a checkbook that will allow you to access your life savings after the Rapture. Due to an exclusive arrangement with God, your checks will be honored at all supermarkets, convenience stores, and liquor stores in Heaven, up to the amount of money you have on deposit.

Many in Heaven are actually living miserable lives because they foolishly believed the liberal version of the Holy Book, in which it is implied that "you can't take it with you" and "it's easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go to heaven." Both couldn't be further from the truth. God adores the wealthy, and Heaven runs on the most Christian of principles, the Capitalist system.

Because of widespread liberal lies, millions of good Christians are arriving in Heaven penniless. While many find employment quickly, others have a difficult time making ends meet, all because they foolishly left the wealth they had worked so hard for behind, often to be spent by ungrateful children or confiscated by the fedgov.

Don't you be one of them! As soon as I get your certified check, I will send you your personalized box of checks, along with a beautifully embossed leatherette checkbook cover. And if you act now, I'll include your choice of an IPod Nano or a portable DVD player!

So get on the stick. You don't want to be one of the Saved who has to beg for spare change outside the 7-Eleven in your sector of Heaven.

[Javaman]

9. Post Rapture diary...

PR+1: The first thing I noticed when I got up this morning was the quiet. I walked around my neighborhood and noticed all the empty cars that had been abandoned. But the down side is, many of these boobs that got sucked up, were driving at the time so there are many damaged light-poles, fences, front lawns, etc. What a pain, even when they leave, they still find a way to stick to us one last time.

PR+5: Well, now that most of the dead cars have been pulled off the road, traffic is none existent. Infact driving to work is a down right pleasure. And since most of those cars that were "abandoned" were SUV's the price of oil has dropped considerably, due to lack of demand! Who would have thunk it, 50 cents a gallon!

PR+7: funny thing happened today, I was at the supermarket checkout counter and noticed that usual take a penny put a penny thingy was filled to the brim. Funny how that works.

PR+14:Quick update: when to a football game last night and guess what? All the sky boxes were open to the public!

PR+19: We were all just stunned and shocked, by the sudden acts of sanity exhibited by the congress, they actually passed the equal rights amendment, no shit!
They actually started doing their fucking jobs! They shored up social security, made medicare more affordable, we can now buy prescriptions from not just Canada, but from any nation, pot was legalized, hemp replaced cotton and patriot act was dismantled and no more fucking spying on us!! Sorry for the swearing but I'm a bit drunk. Everyone is just so happy and is celebrating! Oh, on another note, abortion is no longer an issue, it was included as a right as part of the equal rights amendment.

PR+22: It's like the party never stops! We were all going nuts today with joy and down right disbelief, the troops were finally pulled from Iraq!!!
There was a huge party on my block. the relief in the air was palpable
And, best of all, a real discussion and dialog has begun with the rebel factions over there. Also, multinational talks have begun with Iran and North Korea. I'm so happy I could cry.

PR+25: The now vacant churches in my neighborhood have been turned into shelters for the homeless. They were quickly growing over with weeds and we thought that would be the best use for them. You know the meek will inherit the earth and all that.

PR+27: In a brilliant display of leadership, President Gore, cut Defense spending in half. He quickly established the Denver Project for Energy, with the additional money. Basically, a nationwide effort to build wind and solar farms and make us energy independent. Thus saving the earth.
I'm so glad that the people of this great nation, rallied and made him president. Since bush* and all his goons got sucked up to god (I'm having my doubts about that), we needed a real leader.

PR+30: Dang, it's been a whole month now and so much has changed! I'm so incredibly happy. The most happy I have been in the last 6 years!! I still just can't get over the quiet. Pollution levels have actually dropped! Scientists are stating that the rapture may have been the best thing for the earth. Everyone is wondering if in fact those that were "saved" actually went to heaven? It's pretty nice down here right now.

[sinkingfeeling]

12. Excellent!!

[mogster]

10. These fundies are dangerous

Say, if you were a Christo-fundie and shared this sentiment:



And then, a copule of years before the trumpeted return of Christ, if one were looking for the anti-Christ; would this pic make a difference?



After this fantastic day, Clinton was attacked in the most low of manners, and Rabin was later killed. Makes you think, when today's alliance's are all too visible ...

[yardwork]

11. Remember what happened to the people in this photo?

[mogster]

13. Well, Sadat was killed, Carter lost the election

What happened to Begin I don't know.

But this was on the eve of things, before Falwell and the other fakers were gearing up. Carter was the Last Good Evangelical, lol