CNN reports today's Rapture Index is at 182...

[Skidmore]

and the fundamentalists are in a fine frenzy awaiting the rapture. PNACers and a Christian death cult shapes world politics. Talk about a self-fulfilling death wish. Just gin up a world conflagration. They are going to be so disappointed when the heavens don't open for angels heralding the second coming. I don't understand why these groups are not being denounced and marginalized.

[napi21]

1. OK, what does the number 182 mean? 182 days until the rapture?

182%? I don't understand?????

[RaleighNCDUer]

47. And the target number is what? 666? nt

[sinkingfeeling]

2. ATTENTION ALL TO-BE-RAPTURED: Please avoid lines and leave now.

[Mz Pip]

3. This is a joke right?

WTF is a Rapture Index? What do these numbers mean? Is it sort of like a terror alert? Does 182 correspond with some number? Like Red or Shit Brown?

Mz Pip
:dem:

[cally]

28. Hi Mz Pip

I hope things are well for you. :hi:

[Mz Pip]

49. Hi there!

Things have been 'interesting' but for the most part we are doing well. How was your trip to NYC?

:hi:

Mz Pip
:dem:

[cally]

54. I think you are asking about my protest trip

and I had to cancel that one because of problems from surgery. I'm all recovered and I had a great NYC trip since then. We really need a Bay Area get together.

[Mz Pip]

59. I was there in April

and had a great time. Will probably go back in the fall.

Glad you're doing better.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[shadowknows69]

4. I thought they said 156

I think they said 182 was the highest right after 9/11. Not sure what the numbers mean.

[spinbaby]

6. You can check it here

www.raptureready.com

After their server comes back up from being crashed by all those visitors from CNN.

[theHandpuppet]

8. You are correct.

I think they said there's a website called "Rapture Ready" where the index can be found.

[theHandpuppet]

5. Actually it was 182 on Sept 11, 2001

The report on CNN stated the index was at 182 on Sept 11, 2001 and is now somewhere in the mid-150's. (As if anyone cares, that is, whether it's 2 or 200.) I just wish it would hurry the hell up so we can have our planet back!

[liberal N proud]

7. Maybe it already happened - Rapture ready.com not available

http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html


The page cannot be displayed
There is a problem with the page you are trying to reach and it cannot be displayed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Anyone else not able to get there? Maybe they already were lifted up! :rofl:

[Mandate My Ass]

9. Nah, the RW assholes are still here

screwing it up for the rest of us.

Boy are we going to have a lot of work to do to clean up their mess.

[nam78_two]

16. They are needed to create the hell on earth

which is supposed to be the punishment coming the way of all of us tofu-munching, granola chomping, volvo-driving, darwinist, terrorist-hugging, freedom-hating, unpatriotic, godless libruls....

[Mandate My Ass]

44. Ah thanks for clearing that up

Hey wait a minute. I don't have a Volvo. I guess they'll be laying around all over the place after the rapture though. Some even with the keys in them. ;-)

Welcome to DU, you dirty commie librul. :hi:

[nam78_two]

71. Thanks for the welcome

I was off worshipping Lucifer :evilgrin:

[stellanoir]

10. But are you rapture ready. . .?

"Self fulfilling death wish" for sure.

It's mind boggling how little these folks know of their own theology. The rapture meme didn't even start until the 1800's.

One of my two spiritual teachers who was fluent in Hebrew and Aramaic insisted that the Book of Revelations read like someones bad mushroom trip from Medieval times. That always rang true to me.

That such large numbers may be empowering someone's bad mushroom trip which is resulting in so much pain and suffering through their belief ain't about love or responsibility or compassion. It's entirely self serving.

Unfriggingbelievable really.

[SoCalDem]

31. Cindy Lou & Jim Get Raptured... a cautionary tale

SoCalDem Fri Jul-21-06 07:37 AM


All through the McMansion there has been a super-charged atmosphere for weeks, as the family gets ready for their big trip.. Cindy cannot tear herself from the TV. Fox News is sending her "signals"..It's all falling into place.. It's TIME to get ready..The anticipation is so great that the whole family is almost in danger of being mistaken for Shakers..

Sometimes it seems as if there is too much to do, to ever get ready, but then this trip requires no packing (all worldly goods will be left behind)...but Jim has faithfully been washing and waxing the cars..(cleanliness IS next to Godliness, after all)

Cindy Lou still has Consuela dust all the treasures and wax the antique furniture.

The best part of the whole anticipation is that Cindy Lou has finally been able to give up that darned daily trip to the gym. She wonders aloud sometimes, if her gym-buddies miss her. (Jesus loves her just as she is). Of course while the pre-Rapture time passes, there's no need to pass up all those "forbidden fruits"...and she's not talking about APPLES..

Gluttony is a sin, but even Jesus will surely be in favor of the family savoring the last few bits of "worldly goods", so the Domino's guy has been getting a real workout, and those "all-you-can-eat" places are a treasure too (especially the dessert table), now that dieting is not necessary. Those expensive size 2's can just hang there for all eternity.. Cindy Lou won't be needing them when she meets Jesus.

Jim is having a "wardrobe" quandary though, and has faithfully been researching the exact time-frame of the rapture itself.. You see, he is wondering if he should swallow those little pills as he gets raptured, because if he puts them in his pockets, they will get left behind. He's hoping that things "up there" will be so perfect that the little pills won't be necessary for his issues "down there", but the Bible does say "Always Be Prepared"...(or.. that was the boy scouts manual.)... anyway he's thinking that if he swallows them really fast, he and Cindy Lou can truly "christen" their new digs up there with Jesus. Surely Jesus will be distracted at SOME point, what with all the fellow Christians arriving en masse.. Perhaps they can sneak off to a secluded place and have some privacy. Rumor has it that privacy still might exist "up there"..

The children are have a few difficulties preparing for their journey. Sixteen year old Tiffani swears it's because she's rather attached to her charge cards, and her Morris Minor, but unbeknownst to the parents, it's really because her secret boyfriend just happens to be named Carlos, and being Catholic, he's being left behind. This will come as good news to his Mom, Consuela.

Jacob Lucas (aged 18, and a freshman in college) is not all that happy to leave his friends. He's seriously thinking of converting to the Baha'i faith just in case. He says he will, but he may not actually have time, since Mom & Dad are pretty sure this whole thing's going down pretty soon. Jake has always been a procrastintor, so he still carries around the unread flyers about the faith. He may get around to reading them after the Beer Bash this weekend.

One good thing about the rapture is that Mom & Dad have given him full use of the credit cards, so he's having a really great time driving around in the Hummer, and filling it up with premium..(no one's going to actually have to pay the bill anyway). His friends are enjoying the fact that Jake's paying no matter where they go or how much the tab is.

Both kids really want to stay behind, especially if it means that Mom & Dad WON'T be staying, but in their heart of hearts they know they too will probably end up raptured too, so they plan on having as much fun as they can while they can.



whooooooosh.....

Cindy Lou looks around and is a bit startled to see some blank stares, where she expected smiles...but then, dental work apparently gets left behind too.. It's rather stuffy, and smells faintly of fish sauce and Shalimar perfume. There are quite a few bald men (toupees get left too), but at least blonde women are not extinct here..

She and her family take cuts to speed up their turn to get to the front of the line..

Finally it's their turn..

Well THAT was a big surprise..

It turns out that the Rapture is not what they expected. It's really about attonement, and there's been someone keeping score. Apparently being nice to only the people you LIKE, is not that much of a virtue, and not paying your fair share is not acceptable either.The rapture seems to be the protestant version of Purgatory..and Cindy Lou's not a happy camper.. The scene from that old show keeps running through her mind.. "IT'S A COOKBOOK"!!

So, for eternity they get to defy gravity, BUT, they must look down for all eternity and see what they have left behind..they must watch as Carlos drives that shiny Hummer, and checks the time on Jim's Rolex..Cindy has to watch as Consuela puts her FEET up on that Chippendale table while she and her family wait for their catered meal to arrive. She has to watch Consuela interview housekeepers..She has to watch as Consuela pours her expensive perfume (Freedom Perfume) into the bath water.. She has to watch as Consuela puts her precious shitzu, Mitzi-Pitzi on the back porch.

The "left behinders" are very tired.. They have spent days just picking shit up.. Its been a veritable "Easter Egg Hunt"..with Faberge eggs..and gems...and cell phones dancing on concrete..and designer clothes..and those damned little blue pills.. The neighborhood dogs are going CRAZY after mistaking them for doggy treats... All over the place people are saying THANK YOU JESUS FOR TAKING THESE ASSHOLES OFF OUR HANDS..as they survey their new digs, and toodle around on less crowded freeways.

PS..God is a Divorced Gay Black Woman named Edith...she wears a purple, beaded caftan with Mardi Gras beads..and red flip-flops...Jesus is half black-half Chinese

[DemoTex]

43. My BS meter is bigger and more accurate than your Rapture Meter!

[nam78_two]

11. stark raving loons

These people scare me.....

[durrrty libby]

30. They truly are nuts

How about this wack job. She doesn't know if she should pursue adoption

knowing the fat lady is about to sing

"O.k...I have got to pose a question that has been heavy on my heart...since the whole ME outbreak a week ago...how do we go on our about our normal day to day stuff and plan for the future knowing that there is a good chance that we are not going to be here??? I find myself not planning like I used to...I would plan for things to do throughout the year and goals that I wanted to do...but I have foregone all of those...which is fine....but the thing that gets me is that I am being selfish...I want a baby...do we start the adoption process hoping that HE does not come until that pt.? Or do we not, and enjoy our life until the rapture? I know that we are supposed to live as though He is coming at any moment, but to plan and like it will not be for many more years....I have come to realize that our time on this earth is fleeting, and I am cherishing every moment that I have with my husband and family….I know that things will be A LOT better in heaven and I can’t wait to see everything….but what am I supposed to do about my desire to be a mom? Pursue? Or just realize that it probably will not happen and live the rest of my life with that?"

It's a shame that these people are allowed to adopt.

http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=267058

[unpossibles]

32. please, stop planning! Just pack your bags and wait for Jesus

thanks!

lol.


It really is sad that anyone can get behind this.

[Bretttido]

52. We must convince them that voting is futile, because they won't be around

by the time the new members of government are sworn in. :rofl: They must spend their time preparing for the rapture instead.

[Skidmore]

12. Here's a description of it. The original sites appear to be gone

so I don't know where CNN got its info.

http://www.educatedguesswork.org/movabletype/archives/2005/12/the_rapture_ind.html

[Strelnikov_]

13. Isn't The Real Story . .

THAT CNN IS EVEN 'REPORTING' THIS?!?!?

What's next, the alien abduction quotient?

Why not? I mean, it is at least theoretically possible, unlike some index on a primitive superstition.

[Skidmore]

15. I absofreakinglutely agree with you on that. And the fact that

Paula Zahn spent a whole hour on the topic last night, I believe, is even more freakish.

[Cerridwen]

19. My first thought, too. n/t

[Bill McBlueState]

60. I have no problem with that

One might consider it a Good Thing that a major news outlet is shining light on some of the bizarre beliefs that motivate some Americans' attitudes toward the Middle East.

[Blue_Tires]

66. +1

[lonestarnot]

14. Gin? Who has gin? Dry vermouth, green olive! Shake and

:drink:

[longship]

35. The Perfect Martini/Manhattan

The perfect Martini:

* Pour gin into pitcher of ice cubes.
* Walk to the other side of the room and uncap the bottle of dry vermouth. Wave the open bottle back and forth several times (for about ten seconds) to allow the vermouth fumes to infuse with the pitcher of gin from a distance. Recap the vermouth and return to the pitcher of ice and gin.
* Add Angostura Bitters, one dash per martini. Absolutely essential!
* Stir well.
* Strain into chilled martini glass
* Add toothpicked olives.
* Drink
Recommended gins: Bombay Sapphire (my fav), Tanqueray (more juniper flavor) Both are excellent.

The perfect Manhattan:

* Pour premium bourbon into a pitcher of ice cubes.
* Add premium sweet (rosso) vermouth (1 part vermouth to 3 parts bourbon). Don't skimp here. Unlike Martinis, you actually use the vermouth. Otherwise, it's just bourbon-on-the-rocks.
* Add Angostura Bitters, one dash per drink. Absolutely essential.
* Stir slowly for 15 seconds. Don't skimp here. We want some ice to melt into the mixture.
* Strain into chilled martini glass.
* Add maraschino cherry (with a stem is essential!)
* Drink
Recommended: Knob Creek Small Batch Bourbon (really the best for this). Don't buy cheap vermouth. Martini & Rossi is okay.

Tips: I use three oz of booze for each drink. This makes a super-double and will nearly fill a good sized martini glass. For the Manhattan, that means 1 oz of rosso vermouth. A healthy dash of bitters, a couple drops will do, again, per drink.

Martini: Ms. Longship is a shameless olive thief. If I don't put three or four olives into my martini, I'll not have any when I finish the drink. This adds a little more olive juice into the mix. IMHO, it really adds to the martini. So, by all means make it three or four olives.

Chilling the glasses: Just add some water and a couple of ice cubes to each glass. By the time you're finished with the pitcher of drinks, the glasses will be suitably chilled. Just dump out the ice water and pour in the drink.

Sipping bliss.

[lonestarnot]

37. mmmmhmmmm!

[Touchdown]

57. Club Soda chills faster than water.

The salt melts the ice faster, so it gets colder faster. Take it from a bartender. Also, you should mention that James Bond is an idiot (can't even play backgammon without loaded dice). Shaking gin bruises it. Mildly stir or swirl in a tin.

Also, a Gibson is a Manhattan with Scotch, dry vermouth and an onion. Should work with your Manhattan recipe.

[longship]

61. Thanks for the tip.

Gibson sounds good. I like having an occasional scotch. Glenfiddich would be good in that, I'll bet.

I like to order a Manhattan when I'm out for dinner with Ms. Longship. Unfortunately, almost all restaurants make a Manhattans with something sweet in them (other than the rosso vermouth), like maraschino juice or maybe grenadine. I would call that a "Dirty Manhattan", not at all the same thing. If I wanted a sweet drink I would have ordered a Sloe Gin Fizz (which I never do).

Last month I went to a place that raved about how great their Margaritas were. They made the damned thing with super premium tequila and orange juice. Tasted like... well, like orange juice. They wanted twelve bucks for it. Took one sip and sent it back.

[longship]

67. Maybe we need a "Martini Index"

The worse things get around the world, the more martinis one has to consume to deaden the pain and sooth the soul.

That way, when everything goes absolutely to Hell in a hand basket, the "Martini Ready" crowd will be the only ones who keep their cool. Of course, they'll all be tucked-into an alcoholic stupor.
:evilgrin:

[longship]

17. CNN has it wrong!!

Rapture Index is at 156 and has been for some time now.

See it for yourself here

[napi21]

51. What in the world does inflation and the stock market have to do with

the rapture?

I clicked on the link you provided, just out of curiosity. They give a # to a whole list of things they feel enhanses the probability of the rature being soon. I simply can't imagine what inflation and the stock market have to do with any of it????

[longship]

53. Amazing, isn't it.

The worse things get, the happier these totally insane nut-cases are.
Jee-bus!! Jee-bus!!! We need more death, destruction, and suffering so that we get to see Jee-bus!!!

[Bretttido]

58. That's because you are rapture-illiterate!

The TRUE believers know that GOG (Russia) is contributing 5 to our rapture index from all those horrible things they have done lately(WTF?). But the good news is that Liberalism is on the decline and only contributes 2 to the rapture. Oh, and drug abuse is WAY down too, so that only contributes 2. And The Peace Process is working so wonderfully, that it will only contribute 1 point to the rapture index (WTF). But as we know, old man winter is sending us to the rapture with his Wild Weather (5), Volcanoes (5), Climate (5), Floods (5), and the super-duper important Earthquakes (5 + 1).

Rapture Index of 85 and Below: Slow prophetic activity
Rapture Index of 85 to 110: Moderate prophetic activity
Rapture Index of 110 to 145: Heavy prophetic activity
Rapture Index above 145: Fasten your seat belts

Holy shit, this is the funniest thing I've seen that isn't supposed to be funny in a long time. Oh nevermind, I forgot about the blogger that thought the onion was real.

[napi21]

64. You're RIGHT! I AM rapture illiterate!

Heck, I was the poster that asked what the heck 182 meant!

When I read stuff like that, I do try to figure out how these people think. I guess I can sort of understand why they would think hurricanes and floods would be a strong indicator of the "end times" but I still really can't figure out what in the world the stock market and inflation have to do with it????? Do they have to buy an expensive ticket or something????

[Flubadubya]

56. No... OP has it wrong. CNN reported 156, not 182.

I saw the piece too. Just for the record CNN did not report it wrong. They did reported that the highest it had ever been was 182 on September 24, 2001... but they reported it was at 156 NOW.

CNN = 1, OP = 0. Sorry.

[smirkymonkey]

68. I cannot believe something as ridiculous as the "rapture index"

is even mentioned in the mainstream news - unless of course they are rolling on the floor laughing about it. I don't watch TV - what is the context?

[Cerridwen]

18. CNN is "reporting" the rapture index?! WTF?!........

I'm sitting here trying to picture Walter Cronkite reporting this; or Edward R. Murrow; or any serious journalist or news organization.

Yeah, I know, no such thing any more but seriously :wtf:

[Solly Mack]

20. This is considered news by CNN? Sad

tragic....almost too funny for words...except that it* is so sad and tragic.

*edit to add "it"

[Quantess]

23. In a way, it is newsworthy

that there are so many mentally unstable religious zealots in the U.S.
But, Paula Zahn and CNN weren't helping to diffuse the hysteria. In fact, they are probably stirring the coals of lunacy.

[Solly Mack]

27. That's what I think,too. Stirring the coals instead of exposing the

just plain wrongness of people sitting around hoping for the world to be destroyed so their religion can be fulfilled.

Heck, it shouldn't even be news...an expose - documentary, maybe...but not "news"

[Quantess]

39. when a loon meets another loon with the same idea,

then another, then another, they gain confidence in their collective nuttiness.

Then they turn on CNN, who informs them that they are part of a large group with the same zeal, and they are convinced the end really IS near. (500,000 Elvis fans can't be wrong)

So yes, CNN is stirring the coals of lunacy.

[Solly Mack]

42. Yep. It happens just like that

I can see making a documentary exploring the rapturists(how, why they believe and how they pray for the world to end and look on with excitement and glee at natural disasters and tragic world events unfolding) - they've done such documentaries before...on the right wing political/fundy movement, and these are many of the exact same people

but to legitimize such thinking by presenting it on the news...sheesh

[Lone_Star_Dem]

25. I can't decide if I should bust out laughing at their stupidity

or tremble in fear of what our media has been reduced to reporting as news.

[Solly Mack]

29. Exactly! Well put! That is exactly what I'm feeling.

[BR_Parkway]

21. I still like some DU'ers idea that we spread empty clothing all

over the place to freak out the fundies that they really did get "Left Behind"

[IA_Seth]

24. Lol

That would be cruel, and yes, a bit humorous...

[vickitulsa]

22. Some DUers have been talking (laughing) about the "Rapture Ready" Website

for at least a week or two. I haven't been "inspired" to go there, but I didn't have to in order to read many of those bonkers people's posts to their site as DUers accommodated us by showing them to us without the bother! :rofl:

I have no idea what age group (if any) is most strongly represented there, but I can guarantee ya all the posts I read sounded like the near-mindless babbling of pre-teens! I'm sure you can find threads on related topics here at DU where the Rapture Ready site is discussed and sample posts provided, since the CNN story apparently has so many people trying to check it out they've crashed the sucker! Too funny.

I hope the webmasters of the site realize that it was the CNN story that crashed them, NOT a huge increase in the number of folks who are wanting to JOIN THEM. Can't you just hear the first responses?

"OH PRAISE GOD! Many are waking up and seeing they must turn to Jesus to be saved from the Tribulation!"

Argghhh.

[BR_Parkway]

38. But they're still fundraising - ya know, just in case, well something

doesn't quite go as planned.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=132&topic_id=2741085&mesg_id=2741085

[Ishoutandscream2]

26. The selection of Bush has made religious insanity "cool"

Yeah, it's the in thing. "Be religiously insane, and impress your friends!!!!"

[Javaman]

33. Like most of the fundies reasonings, the index seems very arbitary...

who was the one who assigned what amount to what event?

and if it goes higher what does that mean? It could be 1000 and that would mean that the current number of 154 is low.

>sniff sniff< looks like bullshit, smells like bullshit, well what do you know, it is bullshit.

to me it looks as a good way to trade in commodities. the rapture commodity. The higher it is you make more money. LOL

It's truly sad that they choose to live their lives in such fear and loathing.

The "comments on active categories" are priceless...

02 Occult
The lack of activity has downgraded this category.

42 Plagues
World reports of infectious diseases has increased.

45 Floods
The lack of activity has downgraded this category.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

34. What's the daily rate for a motel in Heaven?

Will FEMA be providing trailers?

[eppur_se_muova]

36. Um, so what does that mean? No outdoor burning?

:shrug: Is that with or without windchill factor? Natural grass or Astroturf? Slightly higher on West Coast? Context is everything.

[MikeNearMcChord]

40. Attention DU'ers Let it be known

That MikeNearMcChord, has first dibs on Pat Robertson's Mansion and Car collection.:patriot:

[Fleshdancer]

48. damn it!

Ok, but I'm renovating one of the McChurches down here in TX to make my own McMasion. :P

[gatorboy]

41. Why's everyone so shocked that CNN is reporting this?

Weren't they they ones that reported that so serious report on some goon that could force the gay out of individuals?

[stubtoe]

45. I forget where I read it -- maybe the Onion? about a year ago

Article said that the Rapture had already happened a few months previously, but only about 14 people worldwide got raptured up. No rhyme or reason to explain those selected.

It was very funny and I wish I could find it again.

[Fleshdancer]

46. If I ask VERY nicely do you think one of them will give me their car?

:shrug:

One night my husband and I couldn't sleep and so we turned on the tv and started flipping channels. We came across that bible thumping rapture ready couple...you know, that guy with the bad toupee and that stepford wife high on Xanax. well they were selling books on preparing for the rapture so my husband called and asked for one for free based on the logic that, sense the rapture was coming, certainly they wouldn't need to profit from the book sales. Apparently the operator didn't agree and hung up on him. :( Looks like we'll never be rapture ready. lol

[LisaLynne]

50. When it comes down to it ...

I wonder how many of them REALLY think it's going to happen. Enough to part with money, that is. Or a car. :)

[tenshi816]

55. It's shocking to me that

CNN would give this nonsense the time of day. Back when I still lived in the States, Ted Turner owned CNN and it was my main source of news. That's the way I remember CNN, not the crapfest it is now. Thankfully CNN International isn't dumbed down.

Rapture Index: :puke:

[faithnotgreed]

65. must you interrupt my laughing with

the harsh reminder that you no longer live in the insanity known as the united states
thanks a lot



ha
glad that you found refuge (or are or you originally from there)

[Bjornsdotter]

62. Their leaders..

...one is fearless and the other gifted...oh boy, a winning team here.

Cheers




Email Contacts

Todd Strandberg – Fearless leader and founder of RR [e-mail]

Terry James – The "general" editor and cat lover. As a gifted speaker, Terry does most of the site's media interviews.
[e-mail]

[smirkymonkey]

69. That's "fearless" as in "mentally deranged" and "gifted" as in

"special", i.e. with an double digit IQ and a drooling problem.

[jmowreader]

63. So how's this announcement work?

At the top of the hour, do they put up a scroll with:

the time
the weather across the US
the NASCAR Nextel Cup points leaders
and the rapture index?

Dear God, just grab 'em all now, send them to hell where they belong, and let the rest of us live in peace.

[B Calm]

70. I wish these fundamentalists would just drink the kool-aid and get

it over with.