Morford: (Microsoft) Windows Gives No Tongue

[Tesha]

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/gate/archive/2006/07/14/notes071406.DTL

Windows Gives No Tongue
Reminder: Microsoft's bloated OS is truly
terrible in the sack. But a Mac will make
you moan

By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist

Friday, July 14, 2006

It has those beady little eyes. It has that seedy come-hither stare.
It has overstretched pleather pants and million-dollar gold caps over
stained teeth, through which glides that famously shrill voice that
seems at once tempting and full of promise and yet also more than a
little whiny, deceptive, ill.

"Aww c'mon, baby," Windows pleads, kneeling at the foot of the bed.
"This time it'll be different, I promise." It coughs that familiar
phlegmy hack, like a busted Dell motherboard scraped over a lumpy
C++ programmer.

"I'm clean as Gates' conscience! Coding smooth as PowerPoint in
pudding! No hang-ups at the moment, guaranteed. Got me all the
latest precautions, baby. Just downloaded 18 more urgent patches
to cover up the latest in about 115,986 severe security holes
and I'm triple condomed against all those bugs that sent me
into such a crazy spasm last time. Check it out!"

Before you can object, Windows yanks off its startup screen
and whips out some mangled kernel code so scarred and meaty
and discolored it looks like something Steve Ballmer might
feed to his rabid daschunds. Or vice versa.

"I'll give it to you good, baby. Send you to the moon! To
the stars! To the iTunes Music Store without a single
sudden inexplicable freeze!"

It is, of course, the same old story, the same old come-on,
Win once again acting all smooth and charming but completely
unable to avoid that world-famous sheen of BS propaganda,
coupled with a smell that's a disquieting cross between wet
plastic and old cardboard and roughly 10 billion collected
hours of lost productivity.

<much more>

[redqueen]

1. i love that guy

:)

[originalpckelly]

2. Windows is evil...

there is a reason Gates is donating so much.

[Ravenseye]

3. They both suck

Anyone who claims one is better than the other is a brainwashed hack.

You get different benefits and drawbacks with each. Each is better for different types of applications. Each sucks in it's own special ways and whenever someone on either side trys to convince me one way or another it just comes off as sad.

I've been working on and programming PC's since the TRS-80 Color Computer the first IBM PC's and the Apple 2. So I've had some experience. In fact the only computer I've ever had that I'd swear by was my TRS-80. That thing still runs after 26 years and it's never crashed on me. (of course it's fairly limited when it comes to modern applications with it having only 4k of RAM)

Fuck Windows. Fuck Microsoft. Fuck OS X. Fuck Apple. It's all BS anyway. It reminds me of a political debate during a republican primary where neither side really truly gets it.

[Tesha]

4. Umm, okay.

> Anyone who claims one is better than the other is a brainwashed hack.

Umm, okay. Whatever you say.

Tesha

[Ravenseye]

5. Yeah that was harsh

I just get irritated by the whole Mac and PC back and forth infighting. People too far one way or the other in that argument tend to be very biased.

If you prefer a PC? Great. If you prefer a Mac? Go for it.

I just can't stand the ignorant BS that gets bandied about in the conversations, particularly from the cultists on the far ends of the spectrum.