Mn timberwolves player, spanking the monkey, crashes SUV.

[MnFats]

this should be fodder for a million one-liners...
www.wcco.com


On March 30, Minnesota Timberwolves center Eddie Griffin was drunk and masturbating when he crashed his luxury SUV into a parked Suburban outside a store in Minneapolis, according to a lawsuit filed Thursday by the man whose Suburban was hit in the crash.

The WCCO-TV I-TEAM obtained copies of 911 calls and store surveillance video of the incident, along with an accident report the police submitted to the state.

Several of the 911 callers that night said Griffin was drunk. One witness said Griffin told him he was watching pornography in a DVD player mounted on the dashboard of his Cadillac Escalade SUV when he struck a Chevy Suburban parked on University Avenue Southeast.

The location where Griffin crashed is located a couple miles from the Target Center where Griffin had played with his team several hours earlier.

Abed Hassuneh, who is the brother of the victim, said Griffin told him, "That he was masturbating himself going down that street. That's how the accident happened because he was not paying attention. He's paying attention to that video and all of a sudden he's shoveled somebody's car on the top of the sidewalk."

[Kagemusha]

1. Sounds like the masturbation claim is added embellishment

Something invented by the brother to go with the watching porn witness statement. But who knows.

Besides, being drunk doesn't matter much in a civil case - this is about the damage to the vehicle.

[OrangeCountyDemocrat]

2. Embellishment?

Perhaps. Legally. But if true, it's funny as hell.

And I don't know about anyone else, but you are usually doing a specific thing when you're watching porn. If he's got porn on in his car, then he's obviously got his mind on something other than driving.

[Kagemusha]

6. I meant factually, because it sounds like an assumption

But whatever.

[Skink]

3. Was there a phone involved?

[thecrow]

4. Next up: Rebublican Congress to debate masturbating

while behind the wheel!
Film at 11

[SpiralHawk]

5. The guy must be taking driving & sex tips from Rush Limbaugh

Or possibly from Bush White House male prostitute Jeff Gannon, another well known Republicon sex pervert.

[Hugin]

7. "But, But, But... I had the cruise control set!"

Griffin was quoted as saying as he was stuffed coat over head into the
rear seat of a patrol car.

:eyes:

[Gold Metal Flake]

8. Is there any way to get one of those porn-loaded DVD players...

...in stalled in Bill O'Loofa's SUV?

[KitchenWitch]

9. Oh GEEZ

stupid stupid stupid.

[hogwyld]

10. Too bad he wasn't spanking the chimp!

One simian is as good as another.

[wellst0nev0ter]

11. Great, Another "Scandal" For The Northland Puritans To Obsess Over

if this and the "love boat" thing happened in Miami, we'd hardly hear a peep. Some of these people should get a life.

[Oeditpus Rex]

12. Sounds like he's addicted

The location where Griffin crashed is located a couple miles from the Target Center where Griffin had played with his team several hours earlier.

I've never heard it called "playing with one's team," but...



:rofl:

[saltpoint]

13. His defense attorney may try the "My client thought it was the

gear shift, your Honor" defense.

[frylock]

14. stories like this give people who are able to drive and jackoff a bad name

expect to see some BS legislation prohibiting such activity.