What no limbaugh limericks?

[warrior1]

from a thread at HuffPo.

There once was a piggy called Rush,
Whose dickie was flaccid as mush,
A cop made him tarry
For pills he did carry.
Now poor little piggy does blush

By: venusflytrap on June 27, 2006 at 06:18am

[Hubert Flottz]

1. Otay...

Now Rush Limbo's an assholeish boor
And his act's filled with bullshit galore
Tries to act like a man
But his shriveled up gland
Will not snap to attention no more.

Rush's ass was too sore for the war
Now he can't screw a two dollar whore
While he foamed at his mouth
His libido went south
And he'll probably blame it on Gore

Rush Limbo is such a sick prick
Now they tell me he's down in his dick
He got busted for drugs
Caught them Mexican bugs
When he'd been down South dipping his wick...

[zeemike]

3. Good. I'll try one

There once was a man from South Beach
Who's balls were as smooth as a peach
He traveled a lot
And when he got caught
The pills he claimed, made his dicky possible to reach.

[Hubert Flottz]

6. Nice one...

Rush Limbo flew into Miami,
Then customs hit him with a whammy,
And he couldn't get laid,
With the money he'd paid,
Now he can't even diddle his Mammy.

Edit...Limpball's Lim-pricks!

[Hubert Flottz]

4. One more again...

Rush laments cause he can't wake his dick,
But it always did shoot way too quick,
And he can't use his tongue
Cause it's long since been sprung
On the corp-o-rate asses he's licked.

[zeemike]

2. I love it n/t

[warrior1]

5. you guys are good!

thanks

[Hubert Flottz]

7. Send our poems to HuffPo.

Nobody here likes poetry!

[charlie]

8. How about a song?

You know the tune

His bologna has a first name
It's T-I-M-I-D
His bologna has a second name
It's M-O-U-S-E...

Poor Rus-ty Lim-baugh
Has no way
To get his wei-ner
Up to play

[calimary]

17. ...With only just his own C-I-R-C-L-E J-E-R-K.

:evilgrin:

PS: These are hilarious! You guys are wonderfully clever!

Hey, we owe him a debt of gratitude for generating such terrific material.

[charlie]

19. Why thankyew!

Let's not get carried away, though. The only thing we owe Rush is a good kick in the ass :)

[zeemike]

18. Can I add two lines to that song?

Cause Rush Limbaugh has a way
With V.i.a.g.r.a

[Ravy]

22. Self delete

[Vinnie From Indy]

9. I'll give it a whack

There once was a man named Rusty
whose equipment wasn't so trusty
he needed a pill for his johnson to fill
and some underage boys to feel lusty

[schmuls]

10. Ha!! You limerick-geniuses got my day off to a good start!

[Hubert Flottz]

11. Glad you liked them!

[ComerPerro]

12. I can't bring myself to write poetry about Rush's ED

[Hubert Flottz]

13. It isn't hard...

To write Limpball Limpricks

[ComerPerro]

14. pun intended?

[Hubert Flottz]

15. Yes!

Rish Limbo is fond of HARD drugs,
And he hangs out with criminal thugs,
So he had to enhance,
That limp worm in his pants,
Cause it wouldn't respond to Karl's hugs.

Now Rush Limbo was slow on he feet,
And he couldn't unlimber his meat,
So he popped a blue Pill
To take care of his ill
Now he'd pounding his thing to the beat.

When Rush Limpo third member went limp,
He decided to lay off his pimp,
But Bob Dole pulled him through,
With some blue pills and goo,
And now his middle leg isn't gimp.

[Vinnie From Indy]

16. kick

eom

[Beetwasher]

20. Ok, Off The Top Of My Head....

There's a pill-popper who's name is Rush Limbaugh
For a beard he uses a bimbo
For it's known he enjoys
Many young boys
All greased up and legs spread akimbo

[Orrex]

29. You get points for using "akimbo"

And the rest is darned clever, besides!

[Orrex]

21. Not my best, but here's an offering

A loathsome Conservative whore
Was addicted to Oxy and more.
When they asked his excuse
For Viagra abuse,
He said, "Things were much harder before."

[Orrex]

28. Another

Unable, while on his vacation,
To rise to the happy occasion,
The Republican shill
Bought a bag of blue pills,
And he screwed, so to speak, his probation.

[Orrex]

35. Yet another

From the boner pills in his possession,
We learn an amusing new lesson:
That a Neocon fluffer
Ironically suffers,
In essence, a lack of tumescence.

[Beetwasher]

31. LOL!

"Things were much harder before."

:thumbsup: Very good!

[Ravy]

23. My try....

No doubt, under Karl Rove's direction
A man part deaf, to my best recollection
Misheard a key phrase
Being drugged, now-a-days
And he tried to steel an erection

[Orrex]

24. MAGNIFICENT end-line!

Bravo!

:applause:
:woohoo:
:applause:

[Ravy]

37. Thank you! (n/t)

[Hubert Flottz]

25. I gotta take one more swipe at the loud mouthed asshole!

A fat boy named Rushbo Limpball,
Had a tool that was shriveled and small,
Some quack doc gave Rush hope,
And ten bottles of dope,
Now they're nailing his ass to the wall.

[11 Bravo]

26. I'm no Hubert Flottz, but I'll give it a try.

His anal cysts kept him from war.
Now his pecker will not let him score.
He's hung like a robin,
His dick just ain't throbbin',
That's why Daryn looked elsewhere, for sure!

[Hubert Flottz]

27. Bravo 11 Bravo!

A 63 Charlie 20 salutes you!

[11 Bravo]

30. Thanks

After reading your efforts, I was almost too intimidated to play along. You're good! On another note, its been almost 35 years and I'm not up on my MOS's anymore, but were you the guys who had to go into the bush when some tank jockey threw a track?

[Hubert Flottz]

33. We fixed broken tracked vehicles in the brush if we had to.

And we dragged the ones back from the boonies that we couldn't fix on the spot.



My little home away from home...Rush wasn't there to help us out either and we really needed him...Lazy, Cowardly, bastid!

[sakabatou]

32. Alrighty then...

There is an asshole named Rush
He could quiet a room in a "hush"
But since he was arrested
He mightly protested
That is "wood" was used for his "crush"

There is a bigot named Rusty
His musings were always very crusty
Now that he's in the slamma
That freaking momma-jamma
His cellmates shall call him "Busty"

[ProdigalJunkMail]

34. on may way to the airport...but quicky submission

There once was a man from Palm Beach
He was afraid that they would impeach
His stress was such
That touch wasn't enough
So he needed some help at the beach

sad...but all I could come up with in 45 seconds...

sP

[Beetwasher]

36. This is FUN! Here's Another One!!

Rush Limbaugh would have us believing
His pills were for erection achieving
This excuse is quite iffy
Why would he need a stiffy?
His joy is not giving, it's receiving

[Ravy]

38. I can't believe this didn't get enough "Greatest" recommendations!

Thanks to all for making my day brighter and for the opportunity to contribute.