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I betray the awareness of immaculate unity to my own demons of past, future and ego identification. But as well as i can communicate it, the willingness to "stop", is not willpower, but the deep question inside your heart of "who is your master.".. "who do you worship" And if in the next moment, you are filling it with voices of your questions and views, your master is your ego-mind, and it is your god. Then the ego mind has a million reasons for its existance like it always has had.
If you really do, on a profound and nonverbal level of intention, wish to be free of the bondage and suffering of that ego identification, then stop, and discover what is willing already, what is already present in this moment *before* your mind cut in and identified it as "yours". The liquid awareness is you, but it is not yours. "yours" is an illusion.
Fighting for the survival of your culture is just one of the 3 drives that comes with a body, "reproduction", "social acceptance", and "survival". Unenlighened life comes from those motives, all derived from the body and the ego's awareness of its imminent demise.
But what is aware of the ego. What is already present, and has been present for every moment of your life, and is present now... not your ego, but your consciousness awareness unattached to this-moment's self. Meditation implies that the ego can become aware of its absence, but enlightenment is the absence realizeing that the ego is a fraud entirely, and never existed except a machination derived from a culture of childhood fear.
... enough psychotalk... :-)
Du's had enough of my babbling about such things... Gangaji has an excellent audio tape on Amazon called "who are you?" that, if you listen to it thougtfully, will take you directly to a full-blown samadhi-stopping. From that awakening, all the questions you ask answer themselves.
namaste, -s
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