three branches of US govt.: Money, TV, and Bullshit - so says Can.

[donsu]

http://www.buzzflash.com/mailbag/06/06/mai06142.html


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Subject: The American Debate on Gayness ... What a Joke!

With America, I've come to notice what the three branches of government truly are.

There's MONEY, TELEVISION and BULLSHIT! That's American political process in a nutshell.

H.L. Mencken said it best when he stated that "The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary."

Remember the days of dope hysteria, when the occasional ownership of a Mary Jane cigarette threatened to turn all of us into sex fiends and car thieves? (Personally, I did become a sex fiend but the car thieving never happened.)

When hysteria doesn't work, how about racism or bigotry? Try this on for size.

CRACK IS ruining America's inner cities.

CRACK IS killing policemen, overwhelming the court system and filling jails beyond capacity.

GAYS ARE devastating thousands of American families.

GAYS ARE putting the lives and well being of our children at risk.

Now, delete the words "CRACK IS" and "GAYS ARE" and insert the words "NIGGERS ARE." Isn't that the secret message that your politicians are really sending to Americans. And you all fail to see it.

I hate to be the one to point it out, but you're country hasn't moved any further ahead from where they were in the mid sixties. Hysteria is stupid, racism is wrong and both are useless. But if gross panic and finding a scapegoat-two of the most common political reactions to an intractable social problem-don't work, what CAN the government do? I'll tell you ...

While the government is waiting for everyone to die, it can create MORE government agencies and organizations. They work so well in America. *languid sarcasm*

Then there's American foreign policy which I have also finally figured out. It works like this: Whatever it is that the government does, "sensible Americans" would prefer that the government do it to somebody else. This I believe, is the idea behind America's "very foreign policy."

I don't know anymore. I'm tired of watching Jon Stewart tell it like it is while the world around us is collapsing because of the rise of the American Nazi. I know it's harsh, but I can't take it any more. I've decided to become more proactive. From now on, when I pass an American on the highway I'll flip them the bird for no other reason than "you are an American." If an American sits at a table with me, I won't stay. I won't allow an American into my home. When I hear a southern drawl I'll be sure to call that person a bigot. When I see an American flag on a Canadian lawn and it's not flying below our truly great flag, I'll report it to the authorities. If I meet an American serviceman on Canadian soil, I'll refer to him as "baby killer." From this day forward I will engage in my own quiet little protest of Americans. I think it's only fair that you all be treated as badly as your own government wishes you to be.

I know that it sounds like I'm being unfair but my actions-- while entirely peaceful in terms of protest-- are meant to engage in dialogue. When I call you a baby killer, trust me you'll wanna talk back. When I call you a racist scumbag American, trust me your sense of pride will be enough to engage me. When I won't acknowledge that you exist, you'll wanna know why and you'll ask. Dialogue. That's all I want is dialogue.

As of today, my home is off limits to Americans. To the back of the bus with all of you! So sad that it's come to this. Under Clinton I would have defended America's right to be as American as you wanted, instead I have to insult you just to get it through your thick heads that your country is a more corrupt Republic than the USSR ever was. EVER!

A BuzzFlash Reader

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I don't blame the buzzflash reader. I wouldn't let us corrupt americans in the house either. we warned Canadians not to let the bushmilhousegang step so much as a toe on their soil, or be sorry for it.

america is a crime scene

[Totallybushed]

1. You may not blame

the buzzflash reader, but I think he is indulging in bigotry of the very worst kind. So he wants to provoke dialog, eh? He'll provoke something, all right, maybe a fist in his eye if he flips the wrong person the bird. Anti-southern prejudice. Yep, that's acceptable. :sarcasm: Shows such love and tolerance.

I realize that there is a lot of frustration out there over the inability of citizens of other countries to have much influence over American policy. Hell, many American citizens have the same frustration. Wouldn't it be a little bit better to find out which type of American he was flipping off before he did it.

Bigotry is ugly, even if it's a "progressive" who shows it. Just my opinion.

[5thGenDemocrat]

2. The BuzzFlash reader is committing plagiarism

The three branches of government being "Money, Television and Bullshit" is ripped off, verbatim, from PJ O'Rourke's "A Parliament of Whores,*" as is his commentary about crack. If the submitter wishes to sound insightful, creative and witty, perhaps he should either rip off a book that wasn't a national best-seller or give attribution where attribution is due. Or, better, come up with something himself.
Either way, I hate plagiarists.
John
* - In my paperback Vintage Books edition (1982), the MT&B comment is on page 47, while the crack commentary is on p. 112.
It is now six days, 21 hours and 28 minutes to FUNDAY.