At What Age Is It Still Appropriate To Nurse A Child?

[rucky]

My wife had a humiliating experience at the doctor's yesterday that I had to share. My daughter is a year and a half, and we took her in for a regular checkup.

Little Miss Rucky is in perfect health! Yay!

But when the doctor found out my wife was still nursing, he flipped out. He kept saying that nursing after one year old is inappropriate, and that my daughter was "addicted" to breast milk.

He urged her to stop nursing immediately, and to help, my wife should paint her breasts black with ghosts or scary faces on them - that'll scare her out of wanting to nurse. Swear to God he said this - a doctor.

Well, none of his opinions were medically based, but the humiliation was done professionally.

I know if you ask 10 people about breasfeeding, you'll get 20 opinions - but I thought some thoughtful insights from DU-ers would be helpful.

Thanks!

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

1. I'd get a different doctor.

Scary ghost faces? That's just nuts.

[Gormy Cuss]

3. I second that.

My guess is that the doctor has some issues.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

14. I used to have this dentist...

I'm sure he was a perfect competent dentist, knew all there was about fixing teeth and what not, but when he started having these temper tantrums and throwing dental tools across his dental office I figured it was time to get a new dentist.

[Gormy Cuss]

35. I think we had the same dentist.

The young dentist who bought the practice from my previous dentist screwed up a crown and when I called him on it, he first made excuses that put the blame on me/my mouth (not much room in my jaw, the molar is misaligned, yada yada yada.) When I told him that I thought we should bring it to the dental society's peer review process, he became unhinged, yelling things like "I do not fear the dental society" and my calm but firm stance that he made an error finally had him screaming "I am not God!"

Fortunately this was on the phone because he couldn't see my smiling at the absurdity of it all.

[Sequoia]

42. Of all professions in the medial field, Dentists have

the highest rate of suicide.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

51. No kidding?

Is it by a wide margin?

[Sequoia]

63. I read it somewhere, I can't give you an exact figure.

and I'm too lazy to look it up on googley.

[drbtg1]

140. How did he screw up the crown?

Being a dentist, I'm just curious.

[Gormy Cuss]

151. Name a way, he probably did it.

As best I can tell, the initial impression was faulty (oversized) and things went downhill from there. The temp crown was so poorly fitted that it sat above the tooth, rather than snugly over it -think an adult size hat on a baby's head. It popped off the first time an hour after it was cemented -- I hadn't even had water, never mind food. The assistant was new to his office and her solution was to cram lots of cement under it; the dentist didn't check. It popped off three more times in ten days and in effect collapsed because there was no acrylic left on the bite surface.

The first permanent crown was no better and had to be remade. The second permanent crown fit only after he filed off so much of the enamel on the opposing molar that there is permanent sensitivity to cold liquids. There's much more, and it was the dental society that suggested I use their peer review process. That made him react so irrationally that I suspect that I'm not the first patient to have suggested it. By the way, when he announced that he wasn't God, I told him that I expect fallibility in medical professionals but I expect them to remedy their mistakes just as I would any other professional.

[drbtg1]

159. Sorry to hear it

It sounds like the sides of the tooth preparation had too much taper, hence the temp not staying in place. In a limited number of preparations, excess taper is unavoidable, but not often. With my temps, I try to get some retention without cement as an prognosticator of how the permanent will hold and so that I don't have to rely too much on the cement. Consequently, with all crowns I do, I'll recement a temp about once a year. It always shocks my co-workers since the dentist I bought my practice from did a recement on nearly every case.

I have no idea what your occlusion is like, so I can't comment on that. There have been times when an excessively high cusp on an opposing tooth required me to reduce it, but I haven't had a patient say they had "permanent sensitivity to cold liquids" (knock on wood).

How many years has he been out of school and how long ago did he buy the practice? In my experience, I'd say it takes a dentist about three years in private practice to really hit your stride and about six months after a practice purchase to have symbiosis. Having said that, and after knowing much too many dentists from the other side of the drill, I'd say most dentists are scumbags right down to their DNA and may always treat patients and employees like crap.

Again, sorry to hear about the experience.

[Gormy Cuss]

169. Thanks for the general feedback

He filed off the lingual cusps of the opposing molar, not just reduced them. It's been a very unpleasant experience and the dentist is his own worst enemy because he's arrogant and doesn't listen. He bought the practice at least 3 years ago and worked with the old dentist for at least 2 years before that. I've always had good outcomes with dentists prior to this, even when they were crotchedy old malcontents or new dentists who acquired the practice from a retiring one. I like dentists, as a rule.

[midnight]

161. You and I have had similiar experiences.

My dentist put my crown on but his new assistant was not watching so he removed it. It has fallen off three times since then. I can't bring myself to go back to another dentist.

[phylny]

194. Mine spent a month insisting that I could NOT have felt any pain

when he put on a crown. There was no way, it was IMPOSSIBLE!!!!

Of course, the prosthodontist I saw for my subsequent root canal saw it plainly - I had a nerve right on top of the "stump" that the dentist left, and the temporary crown was sitting right on top of it.

[Kadie]

13. I couldn't imagine a doctor saying that.

I wouldn't be able to get out of his office fast enough. Scary.

[Cronus Protagonist]

212. I agree - I sucked milk out of my mother's tit the other day

The other day being about 45 years ago...

:evilgrin:




Educate A Freeper - Flaunt Your Opinions!
http://brainbuttons.com/home.asp?stashid=13

[rucky]

19. Oh, we are SO getting another doctor.

Looking for someone with more of a holistic bent.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

20. Holistic bent?

That's worse than scary faces. Stick with real medicine.

[Orrex]

21. .

:popcorn:

[rucky]

28. There are plenty of MDs who use natural remedies.

pumping a kid with pharmaceuticals isn't exactly "real medicine".

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

30. I'm sure there are.

And a few, apparently, who are into traditional voodoo scary faces to scare the problem right out of the patient.

[Dora]

41. Could you just once in a while, please

just keep your anti-choice opinions to yourself?

Not everyone who is seeking holistic or alternative medical choices is going to go on an all-goji-juice diet, or partake of lemon juice and coffee enemas 2x a day, or whatever other ridculousity you may consider not "real" medicine. The OP simply expressed a wish for a doctor with a holistic bent.

:eyes:

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

50. I'm sorry, was that offensive?

Instead of actually apologizing, I'll simply repeat what caused the problem and dilute it out.

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..................................holistic medicine is crap...............................
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[laundry_queen]

58. holistic medicine

treats the whole body and mind by definition.
Holistic medicine does not = Voodoo and potions and quacks
It just means that you look further into the problem, nutrition, life circumstances, other related problems, instead of throwing pills at recent symptoms.
But apparently that point confuses you. :crazy:
Be against quack medicine all you want, but don't call it holistic medicine, because they are NOT the same. WRONG label!

[Dora]

59. Once again, a whole lot of nothing.

It's not your opinion I have a problem with, it's your anti-choice allopathic fascist tendency to piss all over other people's choices.

That, and your apparently uncontrollable need to post everytime somebody even farts something that's not western medicine.

[rucky]

69. I guess we have nothing more to discuss. n/t

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

105. Weird, because I use natural remedies and so do many people I know.

They often times seem to work better than the pharmacutical solution. I guess we all must be wrong.

[Critters2]

108. I tossed my prozac and went to 5-htp years ago

Now I use nothing at all, but if I needed it again, I sure as hell wouldn't go to a shrink. Just hop down to Walgreen's and buy a little bottle.

It pisses off Big Pharma, but that's fine with me!

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

109. I use a homeopathic allergy remedy.

It works within minutes. Faster than Claritin and I don't have to sign my life away for something with psudoephedrine.

[LynneSin]

130. I swear by St. John's Wort

:D

[1monster]

137. What is 5-htp? Some family members suffer from depression, but

have very bad reactions to antidepressants. (And those family members occasionally drive me to :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: )

[renate]

145. here's a review, with lots of peer-reviewed reference sources

http://www.thorne.com/altmedrev/fulltext/5htp3-4.html

Note that anybody currently taking antidepressants, especially SSRIs, should NOT take 5-hydroxytryptophan without their doctor's supervision.

[1monster]

157. Thanks, I will look into this.

[AnOhioan]

177. Thanks for your opinion...

I choose to disagree.

FYI...

Holistic medicine is a system of health care which fosters a cooperative relationship among all those involved, leading towards optimal attainment of the physical, mental emotional, social and spiritual aspects of health.

It emphasizes the need to look at the whole person, including analysis of physical, nutritional, environmental, emotional, social, spiritual and lifestyle values. It encompasses all stated modalities of diagnosis and treatment including drugs and surgery if no safe alternative exists. Holistic medicine focuses on education and responsibility for personal efforts to achieve balance and well being.

http://www.holisticmed.com/whatis.html



Surgery and pharmaceuticals should be a last resort...not a first. Unfortunately many MD's look at those two options first. My ex-wife was told by a doctor (after one visit) she needed spinal surgery to reduce some chronic pain she was experiencing. We ended up consulting a chiropractor who worked with her to figure out what the cause of her pain was. That counseling, along with chiropractic treatment, alleviated the issue. No surgery necessary.

I for one will always look at holistic medicine first, if all else fails than I would consider the drug/surgery route.

Just my two cents

[PWRinNY]

150. Holistic is the way to go

At least for me. Doctors who practice "real medicine" screwed up me beyond belief. Holistic has been the only thing to put me back to the way I'm supposed to be.

[MissB]

32. Just ask around.

You can interview doctors, or at least ask their nurses some pointed questions. Asking whether they support attachment parenting, or if they prefer cry-it-out methods will give you a quick method for determining whether or not they *might* be suitable.

My kids' ped is roughly my age. She has kids of her own, and we have a very similar parenting philosophy. I know because I've asked, plus I've met her outside of her practice at various events to "know" what type of parent she is.

[rucky]

54. Mrs. Rucky is a big fan of Dr. Sears

attachment parenting makes sense to us, but we've seen other couples come out with some pretty needy kids and we're a little scared.

[MissB]

64. Parenting is such a crapshoot anyway.

You do the best you can and hope for the best.

FWIW, I have two bright and independent children. I can tell you there are times when I have felt that meeting their needs meant shoving mine aside for a bit - and that is hard and sometimes it sucks. But so far the results have been well worth it.

[conflictgirl]

204. It depends so much on how you do it

Just FYI, we raised our kids when they were little by the attachment parenting method, and the kids are great so far. (Oldest just finished second grade, so it's not like we've dealt with the teen years yet.) Our kids rarely throw tantrums, almost never in a public place, and are appropriately needy in our opinion. Not excessively - and I do know exactly what you're talking about - but also not entirely independent either. It worries me when people say they want their children to learn independence from toddlerhood. There's plenty of time for kids to grow up and it's supposed to be a gradual process, you know?

I think what results in poorly behaved or overly needy kids is not really attachment parenting per se, I think it's when the parents are inconsistent with setting limits or the parents are the ones who (consciously or otherwise) foster neediness for longer than necessary.

Follow your heart and set reasonable limits that you feel comfortable with, and your kids will likely turn out ok. :)

[Critters2]

88. Look for an Osteopath

They're well-trained in both medicine and "bedside manner". And more committed to the profession than to the money it earns them. I've been on two committees to attract doctors to small towns. The MDs were always assholes, whining about the lack of decent golf courses, etc. The DOs were interested in the communities, the people.

I'll never go to an MD for primary care again.

[spacelady]

176. I agree. My DO actually listens to me. n/t

[eyesroll]

188. I had a very abrasive osteopath, and I have a great M.D. now.

Mileage varies, always.

[MorningGlow]

112. Go for a holistic M.D.

If there's one in your area. They're perfect--they can prescribe meds when necessary but also are well versed in other ways of treating illnesses. Mine's great--wouldn't trade her for any other doc, even though she won't accept most garden-variety health insurance because the HMOs boss her around too much. Self pay is fine by me if I can get the care I need!

[GreenPartyVoter]

113. Glad u r changing docs. that was absurd!

[juajen]

124. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

Of course, the baby in the book was four or five years old. I can't remember exactly.

[Berry Cool]

152. Yeah, that kid REALLY was addicted.

In the book, they called it "giving the baby the Gussie" because the kid's name was Gus. Seriously--the mother painted a scary face on her breast and showed it to the kid and he ran away screaming.

Of course, while it's a wonderful book as a work of fiction, given that the book was published in the 1940s about events that happened about 1910, I hardly think that a doctor should be taking it as a guide for weaning a child under 2!

[fishwax]

203. agreed

:wtf:

[TallahasseeGrannie]

2. So your doctor is about 70, huh?

My opinion is that when a child is old enough to unbutton the blouse, pull the bra up and say, "Hey, mom, how about a little nosh?" he/she is too old to nurse.

There is a point in every nursing relationship when it starts to be over. A wise mother reads the signs and backs off. Some mothers, however, panic and do everything in their power to rejuvenate the nursing relationship. I think that is not a good thing to do. But that relationship varies with each nursing paid.

My two cents..worth what you paid!

[jbnow]

180. I agree that kids let you know

although I only nursed one. My son was about 9 months old when he started only wanting to nurse at night and that lasted about a month.

I think if he could have crawled around the room with the breast he'd have nursed longer. Just too much to do and see to spend all that time in one place with a breast blocking his view.

He had started sipping water out of a baby cup months before and preferred that to a bottle for other liquids. That is what he went to when he quit nursing.

He quit accepting completely pureed baby food at the same time and pretty much insisted on feeding himself, messy as that was. I guess he decided he was too grown up for the nursing, baby food thing.

I never thought about when I'd stop nursing but if it had to be my call and not his I am quite sure I wouldn't paint my breasts to scare him.

[Rainscents]

4. I nursed my both kids until they were 2 1/2 years old.

You need to get a new doctor! I start to take them off slowly when they were 2 years old and completed in 6 months.

[danalytical]

23. I have a 4 year old

And I think that nursing till 2 1/2 is kinda whacky. A little strange having a walking talking person attached to your breast isn't it? I mean the child shouldn;t even be drinking a bottle by that time, but nursing? Yikes! Here is a link to Medline. They don't explicity say when to stop, but clearly they imply between 6-18 months.

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/002455.htm

[Rainscents]

29. No, it's not. You go to any other country and watch how long mother's

nurse their child's. It's always over 2 years old. You been watching too much MSM spin!

[One_of_8]

43. It is not whacky

except in our somewhat messed up society.

It's a personal decision. It's not "one-size-fits-all." What might be right for you may not necessarily work for another mom.

And suggesting that we wean a baby at 6 months? Now, that really is crazy. I wouldn't trust any individual or advice site that advocated that.

[Sequoia]

Tell that to the mothers in 3rd world countries

or Europe. We are so brainwashed by Puritanical standards.

[Coexist]

95. its not wacky at all -when my children were ill, I was SO glad

I was still nursing. It was nutrition and comfort to them. They got clingy and wanted to nurse more then, when they couldn't keep anything else down, I knew they were getting all the electrolytes and what-not that they needed.

It also forced me to sit down (or lay down) with my children - just the two of us - no matter how busy or crazy things were.

My toddlers nursed a lot less than a baby did - they ate meals and snacks and nursed before breakfast, as naptime, in the evening before bed, times like that. It was sweet snuggle time. - just like you experience when you read your toddler a book.

[RayOfHope]

110. Not, it isn't. I nursed my son until he weaned at 3

No kidding, he weaned the day before his 3rd birthday. He has some developmental delays and sensory issues. As a result, sucking was a very important thing for him, and he was (still is) an EXTREMELY picky eater. Nursing was very important for him

It's important to understand that nursing toddlers don't have carte blanche over their mothers breasts. I set firm limits as to when and where he nursed. It's very different than nursing an infant.

[conflictgirl]

202. That's not what they're implying

They are saying that by those ages, kids *may* switch from formula to primarily solid foods and cow's milk. They are not saying that anything is wrong with continuing to nurse.

One thing I always wonder: why do breastfeeding babies need to quit before they're a year old (according to many) but it's just fine and normal for people to drink the breastmilk of another species after that? It's still all breastmilk. What makes the breastmilk of cows better for humans than the breastmilk of humans? Makes no sense to me whatsoever.

edited to fix a confusing typo

[madaboutharry]

5. I don't want to debate

at what age a child should be taken off breast milk, but the part about painting scary ghosts on her breasts is a little weird if you ask me. This guy sounds a bit of a loon and I would never go back.

[REP]

6. Opinions Differ on Weaning

But that advice on how to wean - by putting faces on the breasts - is a traditional (and by traditional, I mean "old-fashioned") way of doing it.

[believerinchrist]

7. I am the mother of seven children and I nursed every one of them.

The last four were over 20 months when I weaned them (my baby was almost two). Had I known the benefits of the extended nursing, I would have nursed the older three longer. As long as the little one is growing and happy and mom is happy, nothing else matters. The doctor doesn't know what he is talking about!

[Orrex]

8. Save the scary ghost-boobs for Spring Break or Carnivale

Does your daughter take solid food, too? Heck, if she's healthy, then what's the problem? In most cases the cutoff time is a matter of personal preference, though you can probably expect a few surprised glances if she's still nursing at three or four.

Addicted to breastmilk? That's a new one.

[MadHound]

9. I've heard of children nursing up to five years

While I do think that is a little extreme, I think nursing at a year and a half is still appropriate.

And your doctor was talking about painting scary faces on your wife's breasts:wtf: That will scar a child in more ways than one.

I would highly recommend that you find another doctor, it sounds like the one you have is very old school, and a bit on the "touched" side, if you know what I mean.

[Clark2008]

10. A dentist could give you a better opinion

I was told by both doctor and dentist to have my son off the breast AND bottle by a year or it could damage his teeth.

He was completely weaned by 15 months.

Take your baby to the dentist and get his/her opinion. It's about the TEETH, not about the nourishment or Mommy/Baby time.

P.S. The part about the scary faces was pretty ridiculous. Seriously, change doctors. Get your baby to a dentist and have the teeth checked. That's the ONLY thing I heard when I was nursing was that it was bad for their oral development (like thumb-sucking or pacie-sucking).

[One_of_8]

46. Good dental hygiene will help keep teeth healthy

As stated in another of my posts on this thread, my son is 8 and still has no cavities. I too was told to take him off the bottle at 12 months, or else he could get cavities, etc. However, if you brush your little one's teeth morning and night with infant toothpaste, and don't put them to bed with a bottle of milk, it will be fine. Letting your baby go to sleep with a bottle of milk or juice in his or her mouth - now that's what can cause cavities, as the sugary substance rests on the teeth.

My son had 2 bottles a day well into his 2nd year, and an evening bottle well into his 3rd, and I repeat: He has no cavities at age 8.

[Clark2008]

111. And that's why I suggested a dentist

Have the child checked up and make sure before making a decision.

No harm in that.

[Coexist]

74. posted in wrong place

First of all, you should pick up a copy of Mothering Your Nursing Toddler. It is the most wonderful book on extended nursing out there. It is not clinical or fact-filled - it is from the heart.

Second, that 'painted breast' comes straight from the story of Gussie's weaning from A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I was always fairly amused at the passage, although I am sure Gussie was quite traumatized.

I nurses all my children until they gave it up - their ages ranged from 13 months through 2 1/2. They all have good teeth and are quite independent.

Children were meant to be nursed through several years of their lives. Nutritionally and medicinally, we have advanced to a state where children never actually NEED to be nursed (although breast milk is better for them). Parents now have the luxury of choice.

You, your baby and your husband/partner should make your own decisions - from your heart as well as they head. You should not take anyone else's advice on this. Wean if you feel that is necessary, nurse if you want to continue.

Be happy. Love your baby.

[Ilsa]

192. I think eventually doctors will go back to saying babies need to be

nursed. I htink eventually they will say that human milk copntains the enzymes, fats, proteins, etc necessary to jumpstart all of the infant's systems for a lifetime of good health so they don't need so much other medical intervention.

But yes, I understand what you mean by "need" as in keeping the baby alive. Occasionally, I run into situations where human milk is the only thing a baby can have, usually because of prematurity and any formula could cause intestinal necrosis and death.

[WinTwins]

191. Agreed. It's the teeth.

My neighbor, who breast fed her boy through preschool age, told me that the boy, now 7, has had a lot of dental work--cavities, caps, and maybe braces down the road--that her dentist attributes to late breast feeding. My suggestion, free of charge, is to see a dentist if you wish to breast feed after the appearance of teeth. Clark2008 hit the nail on the head. It's the teeth.

[Cerridwen]

11. In some cultures, women nurse their children until they are around

4 or 5 - it's both a form of nutrition and birth control.

Here in the U.S., many people can't separate women's breasts as sex objects from their intended use as child nutrition. Your wife's doctor appears to be one of them. In my never-very-humble option.

:evilgrin:

I'd like to suggest your wife find a new physician. This one sounds freaking nuts!

Please convey my sympathy to your wife. There's nothing worse than abuse of "authority."

[Clark2008]

15. Birth control?

Um... you can still get pregnant while breast feeding - you just don't have a period. You still secrete and egg, though. It just gets used up in the body to make baby milk instead of resulting in the shedding of the uterine lining.

[Epiphany4z]

31. True , True

but it is a bit less likely to happen it is sort of a natural birth control all be it not the most reliable.

[Cerridwen]

77. Birth Control? Yes, that's correct.

Lactational Amenorrhea Method

"Women who breastfeed can make use of the natural contraceptive effect of lactation. The LAM is most appropriate for women who plan to fully breastfeed 6 months or longer. If the baby is fed only mother's milk or is given supplemental nonbreast-milk feedings only to a minor extent and the woman has not experienced her first postpartum menses, then breastfeeding provides more than 98% protection from pregnancy in the first 6 months following delivery (1, 14, 15). Four prospective clinical trials of the contraceptive effect of LAM demonstrated cumulative 6-month life-table, perfect-use pregnancy rates of 0.5%, 0.6%, 1.0%, and 1.5% among women who relied solely on it. Women should be advised that for significant fertility impact, intervals between feedings should not exceed 4 hours during the day or 6 hours at night. Supplemental feedings should not exceed 5-10% of the total (16-20). For example, more than one supplemental feeding out of every 10 might increase the likelihood of returning fertility. Feeding practices other than direct breastfeeding, insofar as they may reduce the vigor and frequency of suckling and the maternal neuroendocrine response, increase the probability of returning ovulation (21). If there is uncertainty regarding the extent to which a given woman is breastfeeding, it would be prudent to recommend additional contraception."

http://www.medem.com/medlb/article_detaillb.cfm?article_ID=ZZZ9XXA7AEC&sub_cat=5

[LeftyMom]

131. Frequent and exclusive breastfeeding prevents ovulation and mensturation

A breastfeeding woman just has to watch her basal temperature and cervical mucus for signs of impending ovulation, especially if there are supplemental feeds or the child is begining to sleep through the night. However once a woman does ovulate if she does not concieve she will menstruate after her luteal phase whether she is lactating or not.

[revkat]

168. key phrase -- frequent

Key to supressing ovulation with breast feeding is frequent feeding. Even one 8 hour stretch can trigger ovulation to begin again. I know a lot of nursing moms who had number two less than two years after number one. It's a trade off between sleeping through the night and not having to use birth control. I personally pick sleeping:)

Also, our pediatrician asked if my daughter was drinking cow's milk at around 18th months. When I said she didn't seem to like it much but she was still nursing, he said, "she'll never like it if you keep breast feeding her, think about weaning." Sooooo, mom's milk not so good, cow's milk good? I just ignored him and she weaned around 2 to 2 1/2. (My others weaned around 18 months. Kids are different and have different needs)

[LeftyMom]

195. yeah, once they stop feeding more than 4 hours apart during the day or

6 at night, it's time to break out the pills/rubbers/whatever.

[kdmorris]

146. Used up to make baby milk?

"You still secrete and egg, though. It just gets used up in the body to make baby milk instead of resulting in the shedding of the uterine lining."

You are talking about "secreting" something once a month that is smaller than the period at the end of this sentence. It wouldn't make a lot of "baby milk" or provide energy for "baby milk". Provided you breast feed exclusively (not supplementing with solid foods or formula) breast feeding causes cessation of ovulation. If you have the hormonal ability to "secrete" an egg, you will have already began the process of creating and therefore needing to shed the uterine lining. I cannot think of a time when you release an egg that it would NOT result in the shedding of the uterine lining (with the obvious exception of fertilization of said egg, resulting in pregnancy).

Are you just messing with us or do you really believe that?

[BlooInBloo]

156. I always figured it was 'cuz those folks couldn't afford people-food...

... You learn something new everyday - thanks!

[deaniac21]

12. Here is what the American Academy of Pediatrics says:

http://pediatrics.about.com/od/breastfeeding/a/05_bf_aap_rec.htm

[glitch]

24. And there you have it:

"Exclusive breastfeeding for approximately the first six months and support for breastfeeding for the first year and beyond as long as mutually desired by mother and child."

My advice:
Print out the page from the link above and give it to this doctor. Then find a new doctor if he doesn't apologize.

[rucky]

56. She actually cited the AAP guidelines

and the doctor scoffed.

But we should send him the actual article - the geezer.

[glitch]

114. Well, I don't really expect he'll apologize. But it would reinforce your

decision to leave him, letting him know exactly why you're going.

Patients have to be able to trust that their doctors know what they're doing (or in this case, spewing).

He's the one who should feel humiliated, by his own ignorance.
:hug: for your wife.

[rucky]

57. Thanks!

Mrs. Rucky actually mentioned the report, but it was off of memory and the doc just scoffed.

[deaniac21]

92. I'd find a new doctor.

[rucky]

104. Oh, that's our parting gift to him.

On the cover, I'm going to draw a scary picture with a message that says, "Don't let this picture scare you away from keeping up with research."

[Karenina]

116. LOL!!! PERFECT!!!

:rofl: I'm with Tallahassee Grannie. When a babbling kidlink rips your shirt off in public, it's TIME. "Sweetie, you KNOW I love you but...I... AM NOT a cow."

Every kid is different so "rules" are useless. Dad forced weaning with my youngest. Neither my son nor I were ready (16 mos). That was NOT a good thing... Much to my chagrin, my eldest weaned himself at 9 mos. He preferred a glass and made that quite clear. :shrug:

[theoldman]

16. The doctor is full of crap.

In some countries children are nursed until they are five years old. There is no physical harm involved. The only emotional harm would be from teasing by other children. I would guess that two to three years is a good age to stop. Only modern science has allowed us to stop breast feeding children at an earlier age.

[sutz12]

17. I'm over 50 and I nurse every chance I get.

:rofl:

Seriously, that doctor sounds like one of those "Ignore the crying" types. I think you could get better advice from a Catholic priest.

As was stated above, trust your motherly instincts.

BTW, nice to hear your child is doing so well. Quite frankly, nursing her is probably a BIG reason why she is in good health. Too much of the "advice" given new mothers the past couple of decades have been more about getting her back to work, and not enough about the health of the child.

[htuttle]

18. I want bitty!

I would have posted some thoughtful insights about this, but I have none...

So here's a very funny skit about this from Little Britain, instead:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j61S4x9oDUk&search=bf2
OR
http://www.funny-videos.co.uk/videolittleBritain.html

[rucky]

48. Ohmygod! That shit is FUNNY

the wife agrees.

[spuddonna]

93. LMAO!!!

That's hilarious!! :rofl:

[ComerPerro]

179. So that's how things went when Laura first met Geroge Sr. and Barbara

[MissB]

22. Get a new doctor.

Seriously. Your wife should not be subjected to such humiliation.

I haven't read the entire thread - but if you or your wife has not yet called La Leche, please do so immediately. http://www.lalecheleague.org/ You should find a local chapter that will help you deal with not only your asshole of a doctor, but with your wife's decision to continue breastfeeding.

Here is what they have to say about extended breastfeeding:

http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/bflength.html

[mtnester]

25. New doc in order - we switched pediatricians when he wanted me

to SAVE and INTERVENE into my then eleven year old son's life before he went gay.

He later lost his license to practice because of pain medicine addiction. We switched to a much more enlightened pediatrician ASAP

[MorningGlow]

26. Good Lord, that is wrong on SO many levels!

Find another pediatrician--quick--preferably one practicing in the 21st century--or even the 20th, for that matter.

When to stop breastfeeding is different for every mother and child. I was hoping to go for the better part of my son's first year, but around seven months he started goofing around and flip-flopping all over the bed when he was supposed to be nursing, so I said forget it, you're wasting my time, and he was fine with that. (And now, at 2 1/2, he seems perfectly well adjusted.) Watching for the signs of disinterest is the best indication the child is done with the breast.

And :wtf: with the scary stuff? Any doctor who suggests scaring the bejeezus out of child for ANYthing should be kicked to the curb.

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

27. I believe you have to change doctors. I nursed both of my sons.

My oldest son was 22 months when he stopped nursing. It was not done abruptly but I did cut out unnecessary nursings. He stopped on his own.

My younger son, on the eve of his first birthday stopped all on his own without any weaning.

Both have grown into very independent young men.

If either one of them wanted to continue nursing, I would have felt that 3 years would be more than an appropriate time to stop. If a child wanted to nurse past aged three I think that there was a psychological reason for the child needing the security of nursing because at that age, the nutritional factor isn't is of importance.

[rucky]

37. Most of it's for comfort at this point...

but from a practical parent's perspective - here's a healthy snack that comforts your kid.

we don't want to give this one up until it quits working, or she loses interest.

She's still quite demanding about nursing, it's just that she's getting more and more skillful and articulate (even aggressive) about "getting on the boobie"

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

55. She still has time. Also, I think you will notice, once she starts to

socialize with other kids, she'll be more inclined to stop on her own.

[Dora]

33. Crackpot sexist phobic geezer doctor. Tell her to keep nursing!

Your daughter needs a new pediatrician, pronto. Your doctor is painfully out of touch, and passing along misinformation and sexist myth.

I think you and your wife would be completely justified in making a complaint to your state's Medical Board. That doctor's comments and advice were way out of line.

Here is a link to the American Academy of Pediatrician's policy statement on breastfeeding. http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;115/2/496

Your wife is not alone in breastfeeding your daugher at a year and a half. My son is sixteen months old, and he nurses once in the morning and once at night. The rest of the day he uses a cup, and drinks cow's milk as well as soy milk. I am not concerned about cavities right now, and I suspect that he will self-wean in the next 2-3 months.

Look at it this way - your daughter is not going to go to high school still being nursed to sleep each night. Weaning will happen eventually. In the meantime, there is no good reason to justify taking her off the breast as long as it's amenable to both your daughter and your wife. The health and emotional benefits are immeasurable, and shouldn't be critized or threatened by a crazy old coot of a doctor.

[One_of_8]

34. Report that doctor too

I see that you are definitely changing doctors, which is the right decision; but that doctor should be reported to the AMA for unethical and "wierd" behavior. The guy has some serious mental problems, and is in the wrong profession if he freaks over a mom breastfeeding an 18-month old baby.

Other posters may have already said:

In many cultures, breastfeeding can continue through the 3rd year of a child's life, or even longer.

If your child is healthy and thriving, then obviously your and your wife are doing things right.

Breastfeeding is a personal decision and one that should be made by the mom and child involved. Some children self-wean early and that's fine. Others continue to breastfeed for a longer period, and that's fine too. There is no one "right" way. Only individuals working things out as suits them best.

On a side note, I was only able to breasfeed my son full-time until he was 4 months old, then outside factors made it necessary to introduce the bottle for some feedings, until by 8 months, he was strictly a bottle baby. At his 12-month check-up, his pediatrician also told me it was time to take away the bottle. Well, I tried, but my son was very resistant. In the end, I decided to ignore the pediatrician's advice and do what felt right for my child. So he had his morning and evening bottle well into his 2nd year; and finally weaned off his evening bottle just before he turned 3.

It was a comfort thing. For whatever reason, he needed it and it did him no harm. He is now 8, still without a single cavity, well-adjusted kid, not a bedwetter, etc., etc. In short, him continuing to have a bottle of milk twice a day long after the pediatrician felt it should be discontinued, did him no harm and was a source of comfort to him. Sometimes the "experts" don't know what they are talking about.

[Sequoia]

36. He's crazy as a bat.

I know some women who've fed their baby till he/she was 3. I fed my child after 1 for a while off and on. When I went to visit my doctor and he asked me how I fed my baby, I said oh, I just give it to her because she shares our bed, food on demand. He whipped around and told me I had better get her out of our bed right now or she'll have problems later, blah, blah, blah. Did I listen? Hell no! Problems? Hell no wise crack, she's as bright if not brighter than her peers and well adjusted, happy and sociable. Get another doctor. Painting scary faces? What a bunch of hoo-doo. I'd send a complaint to the medical board.

Tell your wife not to feel bad, she's feeding the world, he's destroying it. Damn, that makes me mad. Revoke his license!

Hey, ask the doc if maybe your wife should bite the baby to wean her off that addictive milk like cats do.

[gollygee]

38. Find a new doctor

my daughter gave up nursing on her own around 26 months or so. Some kids keep going till they're three. Most stop on their own somewhere around 2 or 3. Of course your wife can work on stopping sooner if she wants. But for a doctor to think nursing a child is anything but healthy is awful.

[ObaMania]

39. I once knew a woman who still nursed her kid and he was around 5 y.o.

It may be beautiful, natural and all that. But to me, that was just plain freaky-deaky.

Glad Lil' Rucky is in great health!

[noonwitch]

40. Stop when they get teeth!

I think the doctor is wrong. Nursing a kid up to 2 years old is maybe not the norm, but I don't think it's harmful to the kid. The breast milk does help prevent ear infections and allergic problems, from what I understand.

I don't think it's necessarily good for the mother, just in the sense of skin irritation, backaches, and the potential to get bit in a sensitive spot.

[ileus]

44. when the kid can stand up and nurse....

We broke the our son after 6 months, he went straight to a sippy cup with no bottle also.

Our daughter wouldn't nurse period after only 4 months for whatever reason.

[benddem]

45. Get a new Doctor

and contact La Leche league. They have the good info on breast feeding. Breast feeding is so relaxing for the mom and kid...except for the teeth problem. I can't believe a pediatrician would say this..but then not much of what goes on in medicine today.

[Fleshdancer]

47. the cultural differences on breast feeding vary so much

I agree with the previous posters who said to get a different pediatrician. This doc sounds like a real ass. I don't think breastfeeding at 18 months is weird at all and I've known mothers who have breastfed much longer than that. The best advice I can offer is to remind your wife that her inner voice is what she should listen to.

[Master Mahon]

49. Does she Dr. Frist????????

[islandspirit]

52. Nursing til baby stops

I nursed 3 daughters til around a year - 2 of them beyond by a few months. During the day, they drank from a cup, but morning & night, they enjoyed that special cuddle. They weaned themself off nursing. As they got older, i didn't feel comfortable in public and they were good at using a cup.
It's really good for the child to have been nursed this long & your child's health is proof.
Bottom Line: Definitely find a new doctor.

[LizW]

141. That's exactly how it was with my sons

They nursed until they just naturally lost interest in it. I found they both started looking around and getting sort of "distracted". So I started giving them a cup. They were noticing the rest of the world and they didn't seem to want to spend that much time nursing. The last feeding at night before bed was the last to go. For one it was at about 14 months, and for the other it was one year.

[misternormal]

53. A Mother knows when its time....

On a lighter note:

There was a study done at UCLA concerning the benefits of breast milk for babies. The researchers came to four conclusions:

1. Breast Milk is cleaner than whole milk, it is sterile until the air hits it.

2. It is fresher, and need no pasteurization.

3. The cats can't get at it.

4. It comes in such cute containers.

[Mandate My Ass]

62. And no need to heat it. It comes out at the perfect temperature.

Welcome to DU, misternormal and islandspirit. :hi:

[spuddonna]

86. LOL!

cute containers... lmao! I've gotta send this to my hubby... :hi: Thanks for the laugh!

[Critters2]

94. I have a friend whose cat woke her up in the middle of the night...

trying to "get at it". She sort of freaked,even describing it a few days later, but I found it funny. Cats love milk!!

[SheilaT]

60. There's no one correct length of time to nurse.

A lot of people have already posted their personal experiences, or what they observed, and I just want to add one more.

I nursed both of my sons until they were a little past two years old, and it was right for us. They've always been extraordinarily healthy and about as well adjusted as any kids are these days. We went through a lot of typical teenage stuff recently with the younger one, but basically who hasn't?

And to the person who says you should stop when they get teeth, well some babies get teeth at a very early age. Both of mine didn't get any until they were nearly one, and I only got bitten once. I screamed so loudly that it scared that kid so much he never tried it again, and the other one simply never bit me.

So get a new doctor. The idea that you should paint a scary face is actually hilarious. But not something to be taken seriously.

[debbierlus]

73. Those new teeth HURT - YOUCH

My daughter bit me once, too. Same exact thing happened.

Too funny.

[spuddonna]

89. Good grief yes...

Exactly same thing here with both of my kids. My little vampires... lol

But they never did it again!

[Nimrod2005]

61. Change doctors immediately ---- I am very serious, my daughter is now 4

She was breast fed until she was 27 months old. She had the least medical issues in all her classes/daycare...etc. So far she is, by far, the smartest in her class...I am not just saying that, we just got her final grade report from her Pre K3 class, and the evaluation said so.

Plus, I can go on forever about how being emotionally attached to her mom will always help her self esteem...etc. My daughter is the most emotionally intelligent 4 year we have met. Plays well with others, she is considerate, she loves to follow directions...She plays well by herself....etc.

My wife and I attribute all her good qualities to breast feeding!!! The benefits are truly endless...We were for breast feeding for even longer, but she simply lost interest one day, which also made it very easy to stop, there was no struggle or pain.

You doctor is a stupid ass, it is that simple...S/He is very wrong.

Good luck.

[sutz12]

65. There you have it!

We can't have our children growing up to be healthy, sociable, and intelligent, now can we?

How are we going to continue to support the Republican party with well adjusted people like that in the populace?

:sarcasm:

[rucky]

68. We see similar traits in Li'l Rucky

whatever we're doing must be working b/c she's a happy healthy and sweet kid.

and I'm not just saying that because I'm her dad.

well, maybe I am

:)

[Nimrod2005]

75. I am telling you, it works...Fire the doctor, keep breast feeding her.

And she slept in our bed too...For longer than what people think is acceptable!

We did what we thouyght was the right thing, and life has been truly perfect.

Now, I only worry about what future she will have given all the Bush and GOP crimes against our country. Saddest thing for me is konwing that we are not leaving a better America for them!!!

[Notoverit]

170. Sounds like the description of my daughter to a T (2nd grade)

I never attributed it to breast feeding, but she had the benefit of long term breastfeeding too.

[hunter]

66. This doctor is a fossil and should be reported.

Seriously. This is malpractice.

You are in Ohio?

http://med.ohio.gov

[laundry_queen]

67. Having nursed 3 kids

past when it would be considered 'normal' (ie we measured in years not months) I can honestly say they will stop when they are ready, and it doesn't cripple them for life. I'm always getting complements on my older 2, how self assured and confident and well-behaved they are (my youngest is still very young - and still nursing). I know that having a tight bond with them from day 1 through breastfeeding probably helped that out.
This Dr sounds like he has some serious personal issues. Find a new one ASAP. And let the old Dr. know why you are leaving his practice - tell him you'd like his medical advice, not his parenting opinions. Ghosts on breasts - what a nutjob. :eyes:

[debbierlus]

70. I nursed my daughter until she was two

She is now eleven and a FANTASTIC kid. Many people gave me a hard time and thought it was weird. My daughter is perfectly well-adjusted, very social with her peers, and loving. Your wife is giving her a great start. Don't let this backward society where a huge percentage of woman won't nurse at all do to cultural hang ups interfere with your wife giving your child an incredible bonding experiecne.

Get a different doctor.

He sounds completely nuts.

[spinbaby]

71. Find another doctor

One who's not stuck in the 1950s. You nurse your baby until one of you feels like quitting and that's the way it's done everywhere in the world except in the U.S. which has some kind of a weird national neurosis. Both of my boys were weaned late--at about 3 and 4 and a half--and they're both perfectly well adjusted adults now.

[BeTheChange]

72. Ive known several people who still occasionally breastfed their toddlers

It was more of a way to bond at night or when the kid needed attention then nutrition at that point which is perfectly acceptable and fantastic. It's like a little immunity juice boost to boot :)

I do know my mil breastfed all of her children till 2-4.. just naturally letting them ween themselves.. and none of those kids have ever broken a bone.. they rarely even get sick.

If I ever have kids, Im thinking the 2-3 year old mark is where Id start trying to ween them.

[Momgonepostal]

76. Ditto on the "find a new doctor" posts

My kids nursed until they self-weaned. One was 17 months and the other was 4. That would have given your doctor a coronary.

[spuddonna]

78. That's a new one, and kinda freaky...

I have never heard of painting a face on your boob to wean kids before. That's pretty weird to me!

I breastfed both my kids til they were both about 2. They both seemed to stop on their own about that point.

I have a sis-in-law who was a 'closet breastfeeder' for about 3 years. She stopped telling the family she was doing it because they thought she was weird. Her deep dark secret - she nursed her daughter to sleep until she was about three. Her daughter is an only child, and was an 'in vitro' baby. I think my sis-in-law just wasn't ready to let go of her baby... But you know what? Maybe I'm wrong - maybe her daughter wasn't ready to let go of breastfeeding! In the end, it doesn't seem to matter - our niece is a great person, kind and caring...

I think the important thing is to listen to yourself and your baby. If your wife felt humiliated by this doc, then it's probably time to find a new doctor. Trust your gut. Another of my sis-in-laws felt something was wrong with her second son. She kept trying to get the pediatrician to listen to her concerns, but he dismissed her. It turned out our nephew is autistic. The persistence my sis-in-law had paid off though because she was able to get early treatment for her son.

I 'fired' a new pediatrician when my son was about 4 mos old. We had moved and I had a recommendation for a "great pediatrician" from a neighbor, so I took my son in to see her. The doc didn't say much at all, ran through a checklist of milestones, and then, very dismissively said that I should "lay off feeding my son creamed soups". Now, my son was a really big baby - even at 4 mos - but I breastfed him exclusively and I had literally just told her this. So, was she saying I was lying, feeding him solids? Was it possible she didn't remember in the span of literally 5 minutes what I had told her? I was like, wtf? Needless to say, she got the boot.

The worst thing about parenting is that there is always someone out there who is going to tell you: "you're doing it wrong!" If your baby is happy, and you are happy, and she is healthy, that's all that matters... Peace! (And sorry for the long rambling post! :hi: )

[LibertyLover]

79. Definately time for a new doctor

What he did was unprofessional, inappropriate and uncalled for. You, your wife and your daughter know what's best for your situation with respect to nursing - not this idiot doctor. If the little one is in good health, appropriate height and weight and doing age appropriate things, that's all he needs to be concerned with. Egyptian women used to nurse their kids for 3 years and many other cultures nurse for an extended time. Your daughter will wean herself when she's ready. Scary faces indeed.

[miss_american_pie]

80. Report the doctor

My first nursed until 14 months. The second is 16 months and still nursing. Our doc says after a year, nurse until you're ready to quit.

My first kid's pacifier was a much bigger issue with our dentist, also.

[Coexist]

81. I am a former La Leche League Leader: My input:

First of all, you should pick up a copy of Mothering Your Nursing Toddler. It is the most wonderful book on extended nursing out there. It is not clinical or fact-filled - it is from the heart.

Second, that 'painted breast' comes straight from the story of Gussie's weaning from A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I was always fairly amused at the passage, although I am sure Gussie was quite traumatized.

I nurses all my children until they gave it up - their ages ranged from 13 months through 2 1/2. They all have good teeth and are quite independent.

Children were meant to be nursed through several years of their lives. Nutritionally and medicinally, we have advanced to a state where children never actually NEED to be nursed (although breast milk is better for them). Parents now have the luxury of choice.

You, your baby and your wife/partner should make your own decisions - from your heart as well as your head. You should not take anyone else's advice on this. Wean if you feel that is necessary, nurse if you want to continue.

Be happy. Love your baby.

[flygal]

102. THAT's where I heard that!!

God that was driving me nuts - and it's one of my favorite books of all time. I nursed both mine until 18mos - worked well for me and I could care less what anyone does or thinks of what I did.

[ocd liberal]

82. Oh brother!

I nursed my son up to 21 months and my daughter up to 25 months. Any doctor who advises a mother to "scare" her babies to get them to quit nursing is a total quack! When I find in necessary to deter my daughter, I put one drop of codeine cough medicine on each nipple and Viola! She never wanted to do it again. Bleah!

[DemExpat]

83. How about my (European) Doctor's response?.....

when he heard that I breastfed my firstborn daughter until over 3 years old, and my son until 3.....he looked up, smiled, and told me how very fortunate my kids were to have had this health booster - physical and psychological - for this time period!


Get a better doctor, is all I can say.

DemEx

[dr.strangelove]

84. Short answer - Do whatever you feel comfortable with

Judging by the flames, you already know what a hot button you have pressed. As a parent, I think the answer ot this is the same as the answer to most questions, ignore everyone else's judgments, just get all the info you can and make the most informed decision.

There is certainly nothing medically wrong with nursing a 1 1/2 year old. My wife and I stopped long before that, but that was our call. Some people told us we stopped too early. We took it all in and made our decision.

I don't have any memories from that stage of my life. I don't think there will be any mental trauma from continuing to breastfeed. I do think at some point it may become difficult for the child. But when is really up to you. If you wanted my thoughts, I think you are fine. I also think anyone who tells you you should stop has a valid point. Just do what you and your spouse are comfortable with. If your baby developes weight gaining problems and such, you may need ot alter her diet when not breastfeeding and the amount of time/sessions breastfeeding, but as long as there are no health issues, keep doing what you feel okay with.

Good Luck!

[Blue Diadem]

85. I didn't nurse my kids..but isn't it up to Mrs. Rucky and little Miss

Rucky?

Give Mrs. Rucky a :hug: and tell her the Dr. is a wacko.

[July]

87. Ignore that quack.

He sounds like one of those freaks who think nursing is somehow shameful.

I breastfed my two kids -- the first till he felt like quitting (14 months) and the second till I felt like it (10 months -- unlike his brother, he was a little bucking bronco at the boob -- yeeowch!). And I have a friend in Spain who remembers asking her mother for "un postrecito" ("a little dessert") when she (the friend) was 6 years old! She thought it was funny, and she's a well-adjusted, intelligent sociologist and mother of two.

Do whatever works for your family, but get rid of the doc.

[AspenRose]

90. My son just turned 16 months

We're still nursing....maybe two to three times a day....mostly for comfort and to get to sleep.

He gets plenty of solid foods during the day.

Everyone talks about how sweet and well-adjusted he is.

I think you 1) need to get a new doctor, and 2) find support in a LLL group. I just joined a La Leche group this past month and I wish I had done it sooner. I could have used the moral support early on. It hasn't been a "breastfeeding nazi" experience at all (so far).

I'm glad my Pedi is supportive of nursing. Sorry you had such a bad experience. :hug:

[earthmama]

91. You know what is right for your child

and if it something you and your wife want to keep on doing them continue doing it. Each child is different. Breast milk is not bad. Fallow your gut on this one.

I know several other mommies that are still breast feeding and their children are the same age and older then yours.

[anarch]

96. uhhh...I seem to recall reading somewhere that breast-feeding up to like 2

actually gives the kid a leg up as far as healthy physical and mental development...maybe I'm misremembering, but anyway that doctor sounds a little bit, well, cuckoo.

Now if the kid's still nursing at fourteen or fifteen years old, then maybe it's time for the scary-face boobies.

[Critters2]

98. LOL!! n/t

[Critters2]

97. I have a parishioner who's nursing her 3 year old

Seems a but long to me, but he's a sweet, well-behaved kid, and I've never heard her mention that he's ever sick.

At any rate, a year and a half is perfectly reasonable, probably very wise, in fact.

Again, look for an osteopath, and hug your baby!

[Coexist]

99. OH! and a good comeback for you that I have used successfully:

When asked my people (who had no business asking) exactly WHEN I was going to wean my children, I always said:

"I guess that depends if they choose Community College or State U." We would all laugh a little and the subject was changed.

[titoresque]

100. I had a similar experience

My daughter is 14 now so this has been a long time ago. I breastfed her up until she was a little over a year old. At around that time I got a really nasty flu that was going around and finally gave into taking some prescribed cough medicine with codiene. The medication was obviously not good for breast milk and so I thought, well if I just take it for a day or two just to get some rest then I would get over the sickness faster.....anyhow, it began to dry me up after only a couple doses. I went to a doctor. I had never seen this particular doctor before and I can't remember why I chose him. I wanted to see if there was anyway to prevent myself from losing milk. When I told him why I was there he treated me like I was crazy and basically told me the same thing. It was "innapropriate to breast feed for so long". At this point he told me to disrobe, put the paper dress on and he'd be back in to check me over......YEAH RIGHT! As soon as he left the room I got my things and left. I wasnt about to have this asshole that just scolded me for something that is so natural, look at me naked!

I was pretty devastated at the time, I remember feeling a loss. It was very comforting to nurse for as long as I did. I'll tell ya though, I breastfed both of my children and they were the healthiest children I knew. No ear infections, rarely had colds etc.
My son who's now 10 has never been to the doctor. Ever.

[sandnsea]

101. Making your boobs scary, that's real sane!!!

I am 48 years old, 3 kids, nieces and nephews, grandchild, worked in head start and a day care center; never ever ever have I heard of something so completly crazy as a woman scaring her kid away from her boobs. Like that isn't going to psychologically damage a kid as much as nursing too long would, not that that's a real concern anyway. A lot of kids who nurse past a year old are going to want to nurse for comfort for a long time afterwards. It's up to each parent to decide how long it's comfortable for them.

I swear, some people. Maybe your wife should paint her breasts with flowers and birdies and go back to the doctor and tell him boobs are good, really they are. Embrace the power of the boob!!

[Critters2]

107. That's great!! LOL!!

Embrace the power of the boob!

:pals: :rofl:

[FlaGranny]

103. The solution for your problem is

FIND ANOTHER DOCTOR. He/she must be crazy. Some mothers nurse their kids until they are 3 or 4. So far, I don't believe there are any studies showing it is harmful. Some kids just aren't ready to give up nursing as soon as others are. This doctor seems to think that kids are all the same and without any individual needs.

[Ganja Ninja]

106. I'm not a parent and never have been so I don't have any idea

about when to stop breast feeding. But common sense tells me that if a doctor says to paint your breasts up to scare the kid, you need to get another doctor.

[porphyrian]

115. That depends on how you define incest and pedophilia, I guess. - n/t

[Finder]

119. Not sure I get what pedophilia and/or incest have to do with this. n/t

[porphyrian]

120. Breasts have a sexual connotation, right?

Sure, it's not sexual for a mother to breastfeed her baby. I'm not suggesting that. However, after a time, the child is no longer a baby and breastfeeding is no longer necessary. At that point, which I didn't and won't define because I don't really know, it becomes inappropriate behavior between a mother and her own child due to the sexual connotation. Thus, I said this depends on how you define pedophilia and incest.

[Finder]

125. Breasts are for feeding not fondling...

I think the obsession with breasts is what sets us apart from the animal kingdom, not so-called intelligence.lol

[porphyrian]

127. Physiologically, that's only partly true.

Some women can reach orgasm solely by stimulation of the breasts. Regardless of that, breasts have a sexual connotation in our society, for right or wrong.

[Finder]

132. Well rubbing the heels of some people works too....

but that is besides the point. At no point would breastfeeding be a sexual act.(between mother and child)

[porphyrian]

175. Sweeping generalizion, inherently false.

Breastfeeding a baby isn't sexual to any "normal" person. Breastfeeding a grown child touches on many different issues, including sexual deviance.

[laundry_queen]

185. You are woefully misinformed. n/t

[porphyrian]

201. As are you, apparently. - n/t

[laundry_queen]

148. You can't be serious.

*deep breath* hahahahaha.
You've never had a baby grab and pinch and bite you while nursing have you?
It's anything BUT sexual. Geez.
Orgasm is very mind controlled in women. There is a HUGE difference between a baby touching your breast and your DH touching it. My body automatically knows the difference.

[gollygee]

155. Yeah and when I was lactating

my breasts didn't respond in that way no matter WHO was touching them. Heck, George Clooney could have fondled my breast and the most that would have happened is he would have been squirted by some milk.

It took ages for my breasts to feel normal again after stopping breastfeeding.

[porphyrian]

174. I meant everything I said. You're reading too much into it.

Breastfeeding a baby isn't sexual. Breastfeeding a child who is no longer a baby is what the article is about, and that borders on a number of other issues.

[laundry_queen]

184. And again...

when you have a child - even when that child is 5 - they are STILL YOUR BABY.
Only a sick person would see it any other way.

[porphyrian]

200. Hello...there are plenty of sick people in the world.

You really shouldn't assume your understanding, morality and restraint are either the norm or universal. A thirty year old is still a mother's baby, too, but most people would find them breastfeeding to be inappropriate. Stop pretending you don't understand the point I'm making. I'm actually for breastfeeding.

[gollygee]

154. Only because the same hormone is used

for lactation as for sexual response. Not because breastfeeding is sexual.

[porphyrian]

173. I didn't say breastfeeding is necessarily sexual...

...although there is a fetish for it. I said breasts have a sexual connotation in our society.

[gollygee]

153. HUH?

It is not sexual for a mother to breastfeed her child. Well maybe if the child has hit puberty. But short of that, it's just crazy to even suggest that.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

134. Forgive Me For Saying You Have Some Serious Issues.

[qanda]

136. I think you're right

[Rebel_with_a_cause]

117. In my profession

I know a mother who was still breast feeding her six year old.

No, I didn't approve.

[Finder]

129. I know of one up to 8...

which even as a breastfeeding advocate I was taken back. The longest I ever breastfed was 9 months and that was the baby's choice. All 3 of my kids weaned at different times though.

[Dorian Gray]

118. Personally,

I would choose to breast feed for 6-8 months. But, there is absolutely NOTHING professional about what the doctor told your wife. I admit that at times, I find it weird when someone is breast feeding their three year old, but I have two friends who still do it. There is nothing wrong, and there is no addictive qualities to breast milk. Your wife should find a different doctor. He sounds like a jerk.

[Cleita]

121. I don't think it's anyone's business as long as everyone

concerned is happy. Some cultures breastfeed children to four years and sometimes more. It seems to act as a sort of birth control as well.

[carolinalady]

122. Here is what I tell new moms and it applys to a variety of

situations-potty training, breast feeding, sleeping in your bed, bottles and pacifiers- The books are great, but your reality is unique. No matter what you do, it won't make a bit of difference when they are 18 I promise you. :)

ed:sp

[Bridget Burke]

123. As a non-Mom, I'm not qualified to answer.....

But I am qualified to suggest you DUMP that pediatrician!

[LeftyMom]

126. The WHO reccomends nursing until at least two.

The AAP reccomends nursing to a minimum of one year and as long after that as is mutually desired by mother and child.

[LynneSin]

128. As it was best said on the show "Sex and the City"

If you can ask for it - you're too old!

As for being addicted to breast milk, unless Miss Rucky is adding a steady diet of crack or heroin to the milk, I hardly think of it as addictive.

[MUSTANG_2004]

165. I also go to Sarah Jessica Parker for medical advice

Or not. Extended nursing is normal and has far-reaching benefits to the child.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=benefits+of+extended+nursing

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

133. There Is No Definitive Guideline Other Than When It No Longer Suits Your

wife and child.

It really is no more complicated than that, honestly.

[qanda]

135. I would get a new doctor yesterday

That is so ridiculous that it's hard to know how to respond. I feel sorry for your wife. She did nothing wrong and certainly didn't deserve to be treated like that. You tell her that I respect her more than words can say and I'm sorry she had to go through that.

[Love Bug]

138. I figure when they pull up your shirt and say "Momma, give me some titty"

it's probably time to wean 'em. YMMV.

[savemefromdumbya]

139. human babies are supposed to nurse up til 4/5 yrs or longer

food is obviously introduced when baby is ready but the milk goes on!

[MUSTANG_2004]

163. Extended nursing has scientific basis

There are a number of studies that indicate that extended nursing (beyond 2 years old) decreases the risk of allergies, reduces illness and (the big one in my opinion) increases cognitive ability.

As further evidence that nursing to 4 or 5 is normal, our closest cousins, the large-brained primates, all nurse their young for an extended period (orangutans 3-4 years, gorillas 3 years, chimpanzees 5 years). That some people find it unnatural for humans to do likewise is ironic.

[1monster]

142. Most mothers stop nursing around nine months if not sooner, however,

It is not inappropriate to nurse a baby up to two years old. At two years old, comes one of those milestones in child development whereby the child begins his/her first bid for independence from parents and babyhood ("the terrible twos"). That stage of development is very necessary for the baby.

I'm assuming that your baby is not getting most of her nutritional needs from nursing, that the nursing is more a mother/baby bonding thing?

Once a child starts walking and then talking, it should be easy to wean him/her. The Mommy can simply begin to nurse less often, cutting the number of times in half then in half again over a period of two weeks to a month (if it takes that long).

By no means should the child be frightened away from nursing!!! That doctor certainly has a problem. Scaring a baby like that, especially with regards to weaning could cause psychological problems immediately and in the future.

Gently distracting the toddler when she wants to nurse will begin the process of weaning. Giving her a sippy cup or some ice cream works along with a suggestion of "later" for breast feeding.

[Notoverit]

162. "Terrible twos" - another myth constructed by "specialists"

My kids weren't "terrible" anything - a bit of consistency from parents from birth can avoid the terror in the need to push boundaries that leads to terrible behavior. Here's a clue: a baby's head won't come of at the sound of the word "no". They'll actually get it and heed it. And when they reach 2, they'll just continue - sweetly, and without the need of that "necessary" stage.

[1monster]

210. Actually, I agree with you. However, the so-called terrible twos

is the name given by others to the fact that children around that age do start demanding, and rightfully so, a little more independence. It is a necessary stage children go through.

I gave my son more freedom to move around at that age by putting him on a leash. While most people who commented did so approvingly, I did get the occasional snide remark about treating my child like a dog...

The end result though, was that he was happier on the leash than he was having his hand held and it was more comfortable for both of us. I was happy that I had control over his movements and he was happy to have the freedom of both hands and to run ahead.


As for the child's head not explding when they hear the word "No," my son's head always has and still does at age 14. }( I say it anyway and send him off to his room to explode out of my site...

[recoveringrepublican]

143. as long as it's mutual long as you all want nt

[BlueIris]

144. Get a real doctor.

I feel so sorry for you and your family. Get to a better physician now, and don't hesitate to tell everyone you know about the terrible, insensitive, ignorant way you were treated by this last one. My God. It's 2006.

[kdmorris]

147. Depends on the child

I nursed all three of mine and they were all weaned at different times (the oldest at 7 months, due to issues outside of my control, namely my ex-husband wanting me to stop because "other men were looking at me"). My second daughter was weaned at around 20 months and my youngest at about around 2 years (a couple months after her birthday).

None of them were breast feeding exclusively by that time. It was around 14-16 months when it turned mainly into nursing them to sleep, while all their other nutrition came from "regular" food.

Ignore your doctor (he's an idiot), find a new one and do what you and your wife feel is best for your daughter. For every parenting "issue" there are people on both sides that insist that their way is right. As long as you love them and do your best, you are really the only one that's right.

[Nay]

149. Holy shit. That doctor is an asshole. 1 1/2 years is NOT too long

to nurse. "Addicted to breast milk"?? this doc is a moron. Or, more likely, he has a breast fetish and unconsciously feels babies should be knocked off the breast ASAP so daddy can start playing with them again.

Get a different doctor.

[fortyfeetunder]

158. Mail that so-called doctor this book

It's called Our Babies Ourselves, a book on ethnopediatrics (studying childrearing across cultures) because his ideas are obvioiusly skewed with some neo-Western puritanical fanaticism. He needs some re-education

Outside the Western culture, as many pointed out, co-sleeping, extended nursing, what we know as attachment parenting is frequently the norm...

BTW, the longest I nursed was 46 months, but the payoff is the kid has not had a sick day in school in years, (knock on wood)

[robbedvoter]

160. Answer: when mother and child decide - together

Mine let me know at 9 months - I was crushed.But this reinforced my belief that this is a two way bond - and weaning "because the pediatrician sez so" is wrong. It's really no one else's business.

[hedgehog]

164. Your baby will let you know when to stop

I nursed all six of mine and they all weaned themselves so gradually that I couldn't really tell you at what age five of them stopped - somewhere between one and half to two years. The last baby I had to stop nursing close to her second birthday because I had to take some heavy duty antibiotics for an ear infection. She didn't object a bit as long as she got her cuddles.

By the way - all six were nursed exclusively until six months, but I wouldn't count on nursing as a method of birth control. I do have one set of Irish twins in the bunch - their birthdays are only 14 months apart!


Forgot to add - each child got chicken pox after they started school but not until about 2nd or 3rd grade. Chicken pox is so contagious that I expected a mini-epidemic amongst the younger kids every time, but it never happened. It took eight or nine years for the immunity acquired through breast feeding to wear off enough for each individual kid to catch chicken pox!

[lonestarnot]

166. When you get teef, I tink you too big a eat.

[xmas74]

167. I have a friend who is originally from China.

She stated that in most of the world the weaning age was between 2 and 3 years old.

Her son is now two and she has just begun to wean him.


My advice-get a different doctor. Also, contact this group for more information:
www.lalecheleague.org

Interesting answer from them. They are the experts so I'd take their advice before almost anyone else.

"A mother and her baby should breastfeed for as long as they wish to breastfeed. The American Academy of Pediatrics currently (2005) recommends: "Pediatricians and parents should be aware that exclusive breastfeeding is sufficient to support optimal growth and development for approximately the first 6 months of life and provides continuing protection against diarrhea and respiratory tract infection. Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child."
http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/bflength.html

[laundry_queen]

186. My father

who was born to parents who lived in a town of Ukrainian immigrants and who were also of Ukrainian descent, was breastfed until 2.5. His older sister was 3 yrs and younger sister was 2 years. It was considered totally normal. This was in the 1950's as well. It seems it's only the American culture that has a huge problem with this. Although it is improving.

[xmas74]

187. It is improving.

I wish that I had breastfed until a later age but I had to go back to work. I wanted to wean when my daughter was two; instead she was 10 months.

But I did hear comments from women about how unclean and repulsive it was to nurse at all. This was only six years ago.

[politicat]

171. Until the kid is done or starts biting.

My nephew nursed occasionally until he was just shy of three, and then told my sister that he didn't want to be a baby any more and only wanted cow milk in cups. (He's about to turn 5.)

My niece just turned two, and she's basically pushing away on her own, now. She'll cuddle and nurse a little when she's feeling needy, but it's a comfort thing and is decreasing quite naturally on its own.

Every mom I know who did kid-cued weaning had an easy time of it. Forced weaning... no so much.

[Ilsa]

190. Biting is usually easy to overcome, but occasionally

there are difficulties. A firm "No!" did the trip with my boys, even my autistic son. It was probably their first real "discipline" (cause and effect) where biting led to losing the breast for a short time. Some babies have to be set down for ten minutes or longer before they learn not to do that.

[kath]

172. Rucky, is this doc a pediatrician or a family practitioner? MD or DO?

[Arugula Latte]

178. Jesus Christ. That doctor should turn in his license.

My kids breastfed until they were two. It's healthy for them. In many cultures, it's common for kids to breastfeed longer.

Please get a different doctor. This guy sounds partially insane ( ghosts? WTF? :wtf: )

[phylny]

197. I'm jealous of ALL OF YOU!

I was NOT ready to wean my girls. They weaned themselves.

To this day, almost the only thing I most about babies is nursing. I loved it.

[Arugula Latte]

213. I've heard many people say their babies weaned themselves.

Often, it seems that around 7 or 8 months some babies decide to stop nursing. Others, you can't pry off with a stick!

[bcoylepa]

181. Do Not listen to the Doctor

most of them do not know a thing about breastfeeding - call La Leche League and talk to the pros - there is no set time - all kids are different - I nursed my son for 1 1/2 years and my daughter for 2 1/2 - I do know woman that nursed for 3 or more - no ill effects - most kids will let you know when they are ready -some want to hang on
no one should feel guilty about nursing - and the crap about bad for teeth just doesn't jibe - never heard the one about painting the breasts - doesn't make sense - why would you want to scare them and ruin the good feelings of nursing?
nursing your baby is the best thing you can do for its health - good luck

[Chemical Bill]

182. My grandmother (born 1893) told my sister...

that women used to nurse babies who were two years old. Get another doctor.

Bill

[Vickers]

183. All of our kids self-weened around 2-1/2.

Your doctor is an idiot.

[Ilsa]

189. The doc is ill-informed and a moron and probably is mysogynistic.

Look, even babies have sexual arousal, whether they are breast or bottle fed. This is about the babies' bodies making sure everything is working right.

I think extended nursing continues to bond families and encourage closeness for longer periods of time. I bet that doctor has kids who don't want to be around him, he is so narrowminded.

My sons nursed until they were over three and over four, and it was a very special time for them to be close to their mommy. They miss being carried in a sling and held close so much, and they are both sweet, loving children with appropriate boundaries for their ages.

[phylny]

193. It is absolutely appropriate to stop nursing

when the child doesn't want to anymore.

All three of my daughters ended nursing on their own terms: one at 12 months, one at thirteen, one at fifteen. By that time, we were down to one nursing per day anyway.

Of course, my kids weren't consuming only breast milk, and were eating an appropriate diet by then.

Oh, and it's appropriate to ditch that doctor for a new one. What an asshole.

[Canadiana]

196. That Doctor's response was highly inappropriate, but I would say stop

after year if only for your wife's sake. Most of the wonderful benefits of breast feeding are acquired by the child by this time. eg. the effect of fatty acids that help with myelination (coating) of neurons peaks at 4 months. The immune system effects (breast milk contains a specific antibody, IgA) are also pretty much maxed out. And most people dont realize this, but nursing is more energetically costly than pregnancy.

And find a new doctor.

[laundry_queen]

199. More energetically costly?

IOW - makes it easier to lose weight. Hardly a liability for most moms. ;-)
Oh and studies show that the longer the mother breastfeeds, the lower her chance of breast cancer. So the benefits continue the longer the mother breastfeeds.
BTW - got any links for your research? I'm interested in reviewing it.

[BlackVelvet04]

198. Never.

If God had wanted you to breast feed babies He wouldn't have invented the bottle.

;-)

[lostnfound]

205. Long before college.. ;)

Just joking.

I think the answer is "When mom wants to stop or when it starts to seem awkward", but certainly there's no need to stop before 2 and desirable to stop before 5.

Let a baby be a baby and let a toddler be a baby sometimes too -- they need to be able to regress in some ways to be able to progress in others; rushing them to grow up and be independent has some downsides.

[DesertRat]

206. Good Lord, this guy is a quack!!

I just saw this thread and haven't had a chance to read all of the responses yet, but I had to responed.
I nursed all 3 until between 18 and 24 months of age with my doctor's and the pediatrician's blessing. At that point I believe they are nursing more for comfort than nutrition, but it's wonderful to nuture your little one while you can.
Mine are now 24, 21 and 17 and all happy, intelligent, caring, productive people. And all 3 are Democrats. :)

[timtom]

207. If she's able, the mother should be able to nurse into her sixties...

I'm sorry. I'm being wicked. I couldn't help it.

[maveric]

208. We met this woman at a parenting class some years ago....

and she was having problems with her 10 yr old acting up and out. She wasnt sure why because she was a good mom and all that. But then she asked the group if perhaps he was acting that way because she nursed him till he was EIGHT and just stopped all of a sudden! Eight years old and nursing??
I can see why the kid had issues.

[proud patriot]

209. I stopped when my son was 16 mos

:shrug: My husband decided enough was enough

[Solon]

211. OK, I don't mean any offense, but why would any spouse...

demand such a thing from the other spouse? OK, I'm a guy, and I would NEVER make a decision that isn't really mine to make, even if I was married to her, I wouldn't presume to be in a position to demand anything based on her body and our baby. Being the Mother, I would more or less let THAT decision be hers and the baby's, no one else involved, least of all me.