Anyone else often feel filled with DESPERATION and DREAD? (long)

[StellaBlue]

I don't mean just about the world political situation or about Dumbya or about the prospect of terrorists on your local train or of a nuclear holocaust. We all have to somehow continue to function while dreading these fears.

What I am talking about here is the feeling that the life we know, life as we have experienced it (all of us under about age 65), like as we expected it would be and planned for, is inevitably going to become quicksand under us?

I had this thought (again - it comes at least weekly) while reading the responses to a post in GD-P about house prices in California being out of reach of 86% of Californians. The respondents were talking about prices in their area, which were either ridiculously, prohibitvely high, or amazingly low (but in a sea of red counties and with very little to offer in the way of employment possibilities), as far as I could tell (i.e. California, NYC - prohibitive; Oklahoma - cheap).

I am 26. I was told my whole life that if I got good grades, worked hard, went to college - that I would get a 'good job' and be all set for life. By the time I was in college in the late nineties, I assumed this meant that I would get a job paying about $25,000, and that by age 30 I would doing considerably better, have probably bought a house, have maybe had a baby, and would have saved substantially toward retirement (all my old relatives lectured me about how that 10% taken out of your check every month would be worth millions at age 60!).

I now have two degrees, one a BA and one a masters, both from reputable universities. I got some scholarships, worked 20 hours a week throughout, and still managed to finish owing $43,000 in student loans at age 22. Great start in life. As it turns out, there is no longer a job market to speak of. My 'connections' through family no longer pan out. I have about four years 'real' work experience (and loads of resume-padding interships and odd jobs before that) and loads of skills, including the ability to write and speak proper English (a dying skill, IMHO! haha).

I was in the UK for three years after completing my MA there (due to wanting to stay with a partner), and during that time I worked my way through the following jobs: waitress, liquor store clerk, bookseller, events manager, administrator, planner-in-training for a large construction company (even though my degrees were not in that field!). So I must not be an idiot, right? I was earning about $40K plus great benefits over there, but they face a lot of the same problems we do (except for the biggie, healthcare - they bitch about it, but their system, comparatively, is FABULOUS, in my experience - and all free). But, like us, youngish (under-40) people there who do not enjoy the privilege of having parents who buy them houses and cars or who do not inherit property and cash have very little chance of owning of their own home. Prices are through the roof, thanks to a recent property price boom corresponding to our own. Pensions are shaky; the government wants to raise the age to 70. Meanwhile, they want to encourage MORE people to attend college. AND they've recently introduced American-style tuition fees, where previously the government subsidized undergraduates and very few of them even had part-time jobs during term.

What I face now, coming back here to the USA, supposedly the greatest country in the world, is this:

I am 26; I am working in a customer service position in my hometown earning $18,000pa. Granted, the company, a local one, is decent, long-established, and has comparatively GREAT benefits. But I don't want to work in customer service my whole life, and I don't want to live in a town where, out of 44,000, I am one of only 92 people who voted against a constitutional ban on gay marriage. I can't put my ACLU sticker on my car. I am one of the few people I know who doesn't regularly attend revivals or own a stockpile of firearms. You get the idea. So, while in theory I could stay here and be in a position to buy a house in a few years, I cannot, for I would surely go crazy!

Tonight I was thinking about how someone on DU recently posted about how Ted Kennedy keeps repeatedly introducing a Living Wage bill in the Senate. I made a little list of my current expenses, which include payments on a modest domestic compact car, gas, insurance, student loan payments to the tune of $210 for the next 25 years or so, rent at $400 a month for a small one bedroom apartment in a non-drug-infested complex, utilities at about $150 a month, groceries and household conservatively estimated at $400 a month, phone bill at $50, internet at $25, TV at $50. Well, you do the math. I couldn't make it. Even in this small, backward-ass town. I can't afford the $50 birth control costs per month (THROUGH MY INSURANCE!), so I guess I will also be sexually frustrated until middle age. I sure hope I don't have an unplanned illness. Even with my insurance. I can't afford a single trip to the doctor.

I want to move away, but, having applied for about fifty jobs over the past four months and been rejected from both (yes, only two) of the interviews I landed, and since all my all-talk-no-action relatives and 'connections) have borne no fruit, I am no longer even excited to see a new vacancy announcement. I guess there is just too much competition for too few jobs right now. I figure that, where I want to live, I have to earn at least $30,000pa to break even (e.g. no savings of any sort). I don't think that's a ridiculous salary in an urban area for someone four years post-graduate-degree, but, apparently, all my assumptions are wrong and all bets are off. People keep telling me to get a lower-level job, paying more like $22,000, to 'get my foot in the door' and to 'work my way up'. But I feel like I've already done that - I got to the $40,000 level already, for godsakes! After working in retail while holding a masters degree for two years! After starting as a temp, then becoming a secretary, then getting promoted into a professional position. What these well-meaning people just don't understand is, mostly because of my student loans, I actually CANNOT live on that amount of money.

So the future yawns before me. I'm afraid that these are just the circumstances of life. Right now, it's either pay the student loans or eat; later, it'll be buy the medicines or eat. I have no confidence that I will ever see any of the money that I give to the Social Security administration every month. I will probably never qualify for Medicaid. If I move to anywhere I would actually not be suicidal while living in, I can never buy a home. Probably even with a parnter and a dual income, much less by myself! I cannot even begin to think about having children. Not because I am a career-driven woman, but because I can't afford it. I will never get to travel again, and, even if by some miracle I did save enough money up, I will only get three weeks vacation AT MOST in this country, so that doesn't leave much time.

To me, right now, the future just seems bleak.

And, to top it off, I do not think it's farfetched to think we may see another real depression in this country and perhaps throughout the industrialized world.

This makes me heavy-hearted. And I am only 26.

But, it seems, there is nothing I can do about it. Despite this message, I am not depressed. I enjoy the sun on my cheeks, a good independent film, homemade pasta and a glass of wine, and lots of little, daily miracles. And yet I have this persistent dread, this desperation. I feel like I will never 'make it'. And I don't even have the same goals as most of my RW, consumption-driven peers. I just want a small, old house with a front porch to sit on in old age, a couple of kids to love, and a little time to travel and meet interesting people. I guess that's too much to ask for already, but I also want affordable healthcare and a dependable old-age pension after a likely 50+ years of work.

Is it postmodern existential anxiety? Prolonged teen angst? A 'quarter-life crisis'? Utopian folly? Righteous indignation?

[babylonsister]

1. I read your first paragraph, and I have to just let you know,

in a couple of weeks I will turn 50, and the alternative yadda yadda yadda.

[amitten]

2. Just remember....

Everything changes.

America came back from the Depression. It can come back from Bush too. You'll see.

[StellaBlue]

3. it's not just Bush, though

It's the corporatism in general. Corporations are valued more by our government (and our puppets) than actual people. And we have no recourse. And no jobs. And no healthcare. And no savings. And no pensions. I think that people like me, that is, people who are under about 40 and not likely to inherit a fair amount of money or property, or whose parents do not support them with cars, downpayments on houses, etc., are fucked.

If you're lucky enough to be sitting on a paid-for or nearly-paid for pile of bricks and mortar, I envy you immensely. I feel totally shut out of the market.

[amitten]

6. Like I said, everything changes. Everything...always.

The American economy has fluctuated wildly for decades. Our system, in spite of the Repubs best efforts, is inherently self-correcting, and corruption fueled by corporations cannot last forever.

I completely feel your pain, and see the same thing all around me. Being discouraged won't change it. But hope and effort and resilience can. Everything that's happening now could be turned around completely within the next five years...it's entirely possible, if not probable. Keep doing the best you can, stay positive and have faith in possibility.

And remember that life is short. It flies by.

[juliana24]

64. You are very optomistic, at least......

I wish I could say the same.

[SammyWinstonJack]

74. So do I.

:-( Welcome to DU.

[amitten]

122. Yes, I am. It's the only way to get ahead in any situation.

And welcome to DU!

[jobycom]

7. It's always been that way

No matter how poor or rich a society is, it is always run by the wealthiest, whether they are corporations or large land holders or feudal barons. The good thing about a democracy is that when things get really bad people get to vote to fix them. They don't even have to understand the underlying philosophy or legal arguments, they just know that things aren't good and they vote the people in power out of power. It used to take bloody revolutions to bring that about, now we get to do it at the ballot box. It may be slow, and those with money may fool people for a long time, but it's still easier than barricading the streets and shooting it out with the royal guard.

[StellaBlue]

9. what about 'free speech zones' and Diebold, though?

those are important factors. Plus I get the distinct impression that most Americans are willfully ignorant, childish people. And don't flame me for saying so. I think most DUers agree that the roughly 50% of the people who voted for * fall into this category. Unfortunately, the world lumps us all into that category.

[jobycom]

15. Woodrow Wilson locked up reporters, FDR locked up Japanese-Americans

Abraham Lincoln put people in jail for speaking out against him (so did Woodrow Wilson, who almost imprisoned Helen Keller). McKinley started bloody wars for imperial reasons, the press lied to support him the whole time he was doing it. Lincoln basically stole re-election, others have stolen elections, even the presidency... It's the constant struggle. Things will get better, things will get worse.

As for Diebold, there has always been cheating in elections, and I'm sure people will cheat using machines (they've done it for centuries with paper), but Diebold isn't going to rig every election for every office in the future. If they try, they will be caught. All temporary setbacks, nothing permanent.

[StellaBlue]

20. well. thanks for the unbridled optimism.

Really.

:)

[wovenpaint]

86. Hang on to the little everyday miracles

Put your student loans into forbearance if possible, move to a more comfortable place for you -by that, I mean according to your soul, not the size/condition of your abode-that in itself will connect you, and may provide more opportunities for growth for you.

Keep "Carpe Diem" as your motto and remember my personal motto "this too shall pass".

Your post strikes a nerve with me as I have young adult children and I've feared for them frequently over the past few years, but have realized that fear(negative emotions-like anger and hate, too)can turn back on you. I know it sounds trite, but stay positive and you'll attract positive people and events in your life.
You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, which is a HUGE plus!

Well, that's my "mom" rant for the day-I wish you better days ahead.
:hi:

[marions ghost]

101. "If Diebold tries to rig elections they will be caught"

--oh yeah? and how does that work?

[jobycom]

114. Yeah, you're right, it's hopeless, Diebold is the corporate equivalent

of Damien and can spot every threat before it forms and will control all future elections for the rest of eternity, and no one in Democratic or Republican states and districts will be able to stop them. I'll just go kill myself now. :sarcasm:

[marions ghost]

124. If you have ever worked at the ground level

in elections, you might understand what I'm saying. Nobody who cheats in elections is ever prosecuted.
There are no random handcounts or recounts to speak of. There is absolutely NO incentive for anyone to blow the whistle on election fraud because they will be ignored or discredited. The problem is massive. I didn't say that it is hopeless, but elections we can trust are a long way off. This concern is rational and real.

Your hyperbole is your own defense against coming to terms with the sad truth about our election system.
Of course we need to keep working to do something about it (which I have done...have you?), but first you have to understand how pervasive the problem is. You have too much blind faith in a dysfunctional system. I have seen this system close up--it's broken.

No need to reply--this isn't the place for a long-winded discussion about the election system. Just to say--why don't you really take a look at the issues?--Mark Crispin Miller's book, Fooled Again, would be a good place to start.:)

[KitSileya]

123. Yes, but there's been a feeling that we'd've gotten further than that.

This is the 21st century. When Abraham Lincoln put people in jail for speaking out against him, the US still allowed slavery. When McKinley started bloody wars for imperial reasons, 3/4 of the world's population was considered inferior. All this is something we believed we'd worked hard to get away from, to rectify. Even the stolen elections were remnants of a less democratic, less civilized time. But now we're not just stumbling a step back while still having our goal firmly in front of us, we're turning around 180 degrees and have started walking backwards on purpose. I feel that is what most of the optimists don't realize.

[EuroObserver]

89. Not all the world, Stella, not quite.

Speak out, as you have done here, and people will hear you, and consider...

[EuroObserver]

90. duped n/t

[FreedomAngel82]

12. Not anymore

Votes don't count in a lot of places anymore. Especially where it counts such as Florida and Ohio.

[roguevalley]

33. never give up. no surrender. ever.

[StellaBlue]

40. I've added a new mantra to my old standby, CARPE DIEM

it's:

LIBERTY OR DEATH



I think that about sums it up.

[hopeisaplace]

4. I wrote this poem, it fits for you I think

TIMES GIFT

Time heals
Promising closure
Shrinking scars like popping bubbles
As it prepares our gift
Times benefaction is objectivity to our past
Building an awareness of yesteryears
Defogging our vision for truth
Generously donating our package of clarity

Time lies only to those
who misuse its precious moments,
Lines entrenched on our face
can devour redeemable blemishes
By gracefully accepting our package
healing eyes can widen to witness dissipating mist

Time promises blessed tomorrows
Let us put away our spinning wheels
plunge forward with our lesson
accept our bequest from Time, and yes!
We will have morning smiles

Wishing you well,



Find your peace and find your place in this world
Smile even when it hurts
Complete your lifes plan
See the beauty around you, it's plentiful
You'll find it in the smallest things
and always remember, you are loved

______________


This poem has quite a history...When I was about 17 years old, on my
way by train to visit a friend, I wrote a poem called, "Time Heals All Wounds".
There wasn't anything going on negatively in my life at the time, I just remember
feeling reflective about how time was passing by, and how time changes so much.
Well today, at this time in my life, almost 30 years later, I was re-reading
this poem...and I felt compelled to modify it. I added a theme that I learned
only by growing older (or should I say "maturing"). That is, that of course, yes,
everything changes as time goes by, but more importantly it's our life lessons
that we absorb from time..or in some cases, don't absorb, at which point we are
left spinning our wheels and repeating the same mistakes. So this poem is my
maturing lesson of "Times Gift"..



edit: wanted to add, hang in there..and I do understand what you're feeling. :)

[StellaBlue]

8. heartfelt thanks for that

:yourock:

[jobycom]

5. Reminds me of a quote from Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Arthur: (After being told Earth was just a scientific experiment by an alien race)
This makes sense. All my life I've felt like there was something bigger out there.

Slartibartfast: No, that's perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the galaxy gets that.

------------------------

I remember feeling like that all through the 80s. Then Clinton defeated Bush, and things began to look up in general, and I still felt it. At every stage of my life I've felt that I was going to be stuck at exactly the same relationship and job forever. I don't even remember some of those jobs.

We may hit a real depression, who knows? There were jobs during the Depression. People still had lives. It all goes on, as it always has. If you really want to see how bad things can get, read about the fourteenth century, when Europe was engulfed in constant warfare, struck by famine, wiped out by plague. It's estimated that as much as a third of the population died during the plague years. Then read about the fifth and sixth centuries, as Europe declined from the literate height of the Roman Empire to a backwoods tribal and feudal world of illiteracy, demons, and land barons. Civilization died entirely.

We're pretty good, for now. You're feeling normal anxiety and fear. It's a phase everyone goes through. I still go through it from time to time. Not long ago I would wake up in the middle of the night nearly in tears, feeling like a failure, wishing I was dead, not wanting to face the deaths of loved ones and the pain I was going to experience in the next decade or two. Lucinda Basset makes a fortune off that phase.

[StellaBlue]

13. thanks for the normalizing

Really.

Yes, I know a bit about the fourteenth century. I started learning about it when I read a book called 'A Green History of the World' which was really not so much Green in the Winona LaDuke sense as it was an economic/agricultural history of the world. Very enlightening stuff.

And that's the thing that keeps from being REALLY depressed. Despite my above post, I am totally functioning (most of the time - don't count on me at 4:30pm on a Friday!), usually upbeat and happy (if sarcastic), and I am moving (slooooowly) toward my goals (mainly moving and getting my MLIS). I know that humanity is not really progressing or backsliding. Like Janis Joplin said, it's just all the same fucking day, man. :) There will always be tyrants and despots and wars and violence and... you get the idea.

The thing is, I still also have to exist in the REAL, non-abstract world, where no one I come into contact with on a daily basis (except on DU) even knows what the plague WAS, much less what century it happened in. Where I cannot see a way that I can buy a house, have one child, and ever hope to retire in the same lifetime. Where I feel the constant pressure of mounting debt, even though I don't buy anything or drive an SUV or pay a mortgage on a 6,000-sqare-foot McMansion.

And, of course, like so many other young people throughout the ages, I feel like things are just not moving forward. I feel like I am trying so hard (and have been trying for five years), and yet everytime I make any progress, I get knocked a step back. And I see my mother, who has worked her ass of as a secretary for the past forty years, renting an apartment, with no retirement, no health insurance, barely making it onth-to-month. And that's WHY I went to college, WHY I left this town. And now here I am. In a worse position. Never in her life did she owe $43,000. :(

[jobycom]

43. It gets better

I felt like you did at 26, and was in no better shape (probably worse). I've been much better off at times since then, and right now I'm probably worse off, at 40. I have friends who have made it, and friends who are like me, and friends who feel they've reached the end of their life already, at 40. I feel like I'm 20, frankly, like my whole life is just starting out, and everything until now has been preparation. Six months ago, though, I was depressed and could barely find a reason to live (not that I considered the alternative), aside from my children.

I had a literature professor once who told the class they'd be amazed at how much the world would change in their lifetime. He was in his sixties, so he'd seen everything move from the 40s to the 90s. He himself had gone from being a Jesuit lay-brother (I think--I never understood his exact status) living at the Vatican with a vow of poverty to a professor in Texas. I have an aunt who grew up in New Orleans in the forties with a schizophrenic, suicidal mother. Since then she has been a nun, an Army officer, an Army reserve Lt. Colonel (maybe Colonel), a nurse, a professor, and now a world-travelling retired Red Cross volunteer. Her first degree was in history (same as mine--fun but unprofitable). I doubt that at any point she expected any of her future occupations to happen. Things just move along like that.

The world may go to Hell, but you just move along, anyway, acquiring things, changing priorities, moving up the job ladder (if you want to. Some people choose to stay at lower incomes to do what they want. Some are lucky to love doing things that are highly profitable). Just life. You could always die young, I guess, but then your debt and job outlook no longer matter. :-)

[FreedomAngel82]

10. It is so depressing

:hug: It's like there's not any hope left in this country unless you're rich and well off. Right now I'm twenty-three and currently in college. I'm well on my way and I believe I'm almost done with all my general classes and than I'll be transfering to the local University. I'm not quite sure if I want to stay with my current major which is music. There isn't too much you can do with that that I'm actually interested in so I'll probably change it pretty soon. I'm still looking at options. Right now I'm not a full time student because I don't want so much pressure on me. My first term in college I did do a full term but towards the end had a freak out around exam times and all that. *sigh* I don't have any type of health insurance but I'm lucky to have my dad who has a good job as a civil engineer with TVA and he pays for my medicine I need and whenever I go to the doctor's or dentist.
As an empath you can feel the depression in the air from all the hardships since Bush came into office. All the jobs are going over seas and to other places and there isn't anything Bush is doing. It seems like the only person who fights for us hard is Ted Kennedy. God bless his soul. Oh and my dad does help me pay for my college education but luckily the community school I'm at now isn't quite so expensive (my payment this time was around $930 and if you take one/two classes at a time it's less but still a lot of money from people who don't have parents to help etc) and I do have a car from my dad he got me (a used 2001 altima) for my twenty-first birthday so in those senses I am lucky and do count my blessings. I just wish there was so much more for people and it seems like rightwingers in power just don't give a damn about us as a country. :cry:

[Horse with no Name]

11. I can steer you for help in one area

Planned Parenthood in the town you live is a great place.
You can get a checkup and 6 months of pills for about $10.
So at least you can have sex eh? However, not many likely candidates around this area.
I will tell you--it is the area.
There are places still in the country that you can make a living and your job skills are desireable.
But, it is not gonna be in this state.:(
Personally I will be moving to Arizona.
My entire family lives there.
My cousin (who doesn't have an education to speak of) is the Senior Bankruptcy Specialist for Bank One. She makes close to $60k.
6-7 years ago, she was in the streets basically.
Have another cousin who works in billing at a dr. office. Again, no special skills or education. She makes $40k a year.
They have alot of apartment rentals out there. Home owning right now is a long lost dream, but if you could find a job, you could start making all of your dreams come true.
It just isn't going to happen in Texas. Regardless what anyone says, professional women do not make nearly an equitable salary.
I have a professional degree and my brother does not.
He makes at least double what I make.
His wife has a masters degree in teaching. She only makes half of what he makes--without any education at all.
This is a man's state.
Look around. Find a place. Make your life happen.
I can assure you it will only stagnate in the little town you live in.
Good luck!

[FreedomAngel82]

17. What I found interesting on your post

is how people without college educations were making more than you who do have a degree in something. Quite weird. :shrug: My cousin is a bank teller too and didn't go to college and is doing pretty well I think. She and her husband own their own place and the town my Mom's side lives on is pretty small. Not like tiny or anything but not the size of my town or anything like that. Her husband does something at a shop I think. I'm not too sure.

[StellaBlue]

19. since you brought it up

I am a bank teller. Never thought I'd say that at age 26 with a masters degree.

But what upsets me is that my colleages, many of whom are younger than I am, and most of whom have children (and breast implants), manage to own Yukons, houses, etc., while I have NOTHING. Makes me think I should've skipped college and spent the money on a house back in '97. Where WOULD I be now?

[Lorien]

22. They also probably have mountains of debt. n/t

[StellaBlue]

24. and nowhere to go but sideways

and empty lives, IMHO

[Horse with no Name]

26. You'd be further ahead

Sorry to say.
I know the people that you speak of and I have often wondered how they do it on piddly jobs.
But I know many people who have true wealth, and most of what I see in this area are not wealthy people.
The class lines are drawn by who has good credit and who does not.
Many people live on their credit in our area in order to keep up appearances. Has nothing to do with wealth.
However, when you live next door to the banker or sit next to him on a pew Sunday mornings, it is much easier to get a loan than if you live in a larger city.

[StellaBlue]

28. ain't that the damn truth n/t

[Sabriel]

76. Maybe it's those years in college that made you post to DU,

...and vote against the anti-gay marriage measure, and help you to assess and critique the world around you. Which would you rather have, a Yukon, or the education and reading background that opens up the world you live in?

I wouldn't have missed grad school for the world, even though I would be making more now if I'd just kept plugging away at my old job. Some things have no monetary value, and new awareness ("education") is one of them.

[StellaBlue]

83. I agree

It's just hard to remember sometimes WHY I value what's going on in my head more than what's out there in the world. But, yes, I would rather have had my college years than a Yukon. But we were all sold the lie that college LEADS to a Yukon. Which it doesn't. Unless you're a greedy corporatist (i.e. got a business or corporate law degree).

But then I didn't really go to college because I wanted to make lots of money, and I certainly didn't pick my classes or majors that way. I went to college, mainly, because I wanted to LEARN. Imagine that!

[Horse with no Name]

21. You don't know how weird I find it

When I know how screwed up their lives have been and the things they have done and now...look at them.
In my opinion, Phoenix must be the land of milk and honey if they can make the money they are making without any kind of education behind them and have good and stable jobs.

[DarleenMB]

68. Yup, Arizona ...

If you can stand the Republicans and the heat. We have friends who live there and have been told that businesses are BEGGING for help. They pay well too. So I'd urge you to check it out.

As to the rest of your post, when I started reading it I thought, hmmm. Sounds real familiar. And I'm 59, btw. When I finally graduated from college some 30+ years ago I faced exactly the same scenario. The few job interviews I managed to get I was asked things like "Why would a pretty young thing like you want to be in management?" Or, my all time favorite, "Well, you're over-qualified."

I wound up on the assembly line at Teledyne Aqua Tec building electric toothbrushes.

Like you, I bought into the lie that a college education would provide me with the basis for a solid future and good earnings. Too bad no one mentioned that was only applicable to the males. The final straw? when I read/saw a news report about some mentally challenged man being taught to run a drill press and he was earning more than I ever had or did.

You want to make money? Go into business for yourself. That's the only way to to do it. That or get into sales. If you can stomach working for the pharmaceutical companies or the insurance industry, you stand to make a very good living. Or look into being a rep for national companies. People who go around stocking the stores make excellent pay. We had a friend who "pimped" for one of the tobacco companies and he made great money. It involves a lot of travel but all he did was stock the shelves. My SIL also worked for some outfit out in California that repped several companies. She serviced the various px's in the area. Excellent pay.

I think if you get creative, do some real digging, you may find just what you're looking for.

[SammyWinstonJack]

77. Good job suggestions.

My son has a friend in California who works for Lowes stocking their stores in Ca and surrounding states Az NV. He makes good money and enjoys it. Before that he was a line cook at Red Lobster making $8/hr here in Texas. He decided to move back to Calif. turns out that was a good decision.

[Greyhound]

98. Where? Who? What fields? What is well paid? Help. n/t

[lonestarnot]

125. Oh sure come to AZ if you like the idea of a 3 job income w/o benefits!

The right to work for repukes state. Come on down. Bring your asbestos suit for summer months as this one is going to be a scorcher!

[wtmusic]

14. Those feelings are pretty common

in the mid-twenties (had 'em all, myself)...

Some thoughts--just by reading your post you're obviously an intelligent and dedicated individual, who's going through a rough time. As far as "making it"-- I've known many who at one time I thought had "made it", and I've had people tell me they envy me because I've "made it". It's an illusion. IMO if you keep working hard at what you love and you'll do fine. There are aspects of your career you can't control no matter how talented or hard-working you are.

The wildcard is the state of the nation these days. I was 26 in 1984 and it was a whole different world. Although the economy was pretty messed up then too, this move towards fascism in the government is truly frightening. I think anyone with a conscience is going to have to spend more time involved in politics then possibly they planned (myself included).

[Lorien]

16. It's not in your head; it's today's reality

That doesn't mean that it MUST be tomorrow's reality (by tomorrow I mean sometime in the next decade or two). If there's one thing I've learned in my 40 years on earth it's that death and taxes really are the only absolute certainties. But yes; you have a firm grip on today's realty due both to experience and awareness.

I felt like the future was an uphill battle at age 26, when Bush Sr. was president. During the Clinton years I prospered like most Americans; a nice six figure income, a three bedroom home in a good neighborhood, two trips to Europe a year, $80,000 in retirement savings by age 33....but four years of BushCo has undone nearly everything I accomplished while Clinton was in office. All my employers have either folded or downsized-or they've outsourced all the jobs I would have been eligible for. My savings evaporated when I was unemployed for a year and needed surgery, plus I lost a bundle in the stock market. My paycheck went from $150,000 a year with six weeks of vacation to $24,000 a year with no vacation. I'll need to sell my home soon to pay off additional medical debt...so that will be gone as well. In short, I'll be right where you are now-but fourteen years older (less employable by many standards). It's not anxiety, angst or a quarter/ mid-life crisis; it's life in BushCo's America. Th opportunities are far fewer, all the costs are far higher while our wages keep dropping. No, you can't live on $22,000 a year AND deal with your debt-and it's not your "fault" that you don't have the $40,000 a year job that you worked for; the job market is absolutely dismal.

I felt hopeless during the Reagan and Bush Sr. years; jobs were scarce, interest rates were high, crazy Ronnie was threatening to evaporate all life on earth, George the first tanked the economy...but then Clinton turned it all around. Bush II has done far more damage, yes, but there's always a chance that somehow, in some way, someone will come into office to turn it around yet again. Try not to lose all hope just yet.

[BrklynLiberal]

108. Been there, done that. Well said. I know exactly how you feel.

My 401K and savings are gone. Had to pay my bills during 5 years of unemployment after many years of very highpaying jobs with incredible bonuses. Never thought it would get THIS bad.
Am now working for $500/wk as a medical office manager with no health coverage.
Am up to my ears in bills, and cannot pay them.
BushCo has made me feel there is no hope...for the little guy, for the middleclass, for this country....and perhaps for this planet.

If we can do something wonderful during the '06 elections, I will regain some optimism.

scAlito scares the hell out of me though...

[ladjf]

18. Your concerns are valid. You are viewing the world objectively.

The human race has been on Earth for less than 500,000 yrs. Unless we wise up and start thinking rationally and objectively, we will soon become extinct and by so doing will break all records for brief live on the planet.

I am confident that the catastrophe in the form of Republicanism in the U.S. cannot continue to rule the world. There are just too many things about their processes that are out of tune with Nature. You are young enough to be around after the "fall". The biggest problem will be that the damage done during 20 or 30 yrs. of the Republican lunacy will be so extensive in every way that effect quality of life, it will be difficult to pick up the pieces and restore a modicum of security, creativity and joy.

The coup d'etat has already happened. It was mostly finalized when the supreme court gave the election to Bush in 2000. Then in 2004, the voting frauds once again rigged a close election.

Is there any hope of kicking the Republicans out? Yes, but it won't be easy. By next November, the Republicans will have been shown to be by and large the "culture of corruption". The media, of course, will do everything in their power to minimize the damage since their owners are in on the scam with the Bush administration and know that if and when the Dems get into power, the media ownership will be diversified. However, counter coups do happen. If the real voting majority in 2006 is say 55% for the Dems and 45% for the Pubs, that might be enough margin to overcome the voting frauds that the Republicans will perpetrate. I doubt that the voting corruption is in all states.
We will have lost some important swing states such as Ohio and Florida but will have gained other states that were formally "red" states. IF the Dems win the majority in either the Senate, the House or both, GOOD THINGS COULD START HAPPENING FAST. Bush and others would be impeached and removed from office. The dam of secrecy will be broken and the American people as well as the world will be able to learn the full extent of the Bush criminality. It will be beyond all belief.

If the Dems lose in 2006, that could spell another 20 years of Republican domination.

One last little worrisome possibility. If the Pubs were to lose the 2008 presidential election, there is a distinct possibility that Bush would declare marshal law and refuse to vacate the office. Don't think for a minute that he wouldn't do that. He feels that he has total control of all elements of power and that he could pull it off. And, maybe he could. There is no telling when the American people are going to emerge from their long "sleep".

[StellaBlue]

23. I really feel like I am a minor, nonspeaking character

in some distopian novel sometimes.

[ladjf]

32. You are moving in the direction of depression.

However, you aren't there yet. Your writing is too clear and energetic. Clinically depressed people are usually so down that they don't have the energy to do anything. I think that your writing on the DU is one of your coping methods and it's a good one.

The smartest thing the human race could do is to realize that it is very dumb. So dumb, in fact, that it has abandoned most of the natural body of survival knowledge necessary to stay alive. The world is being run by individuals who are fabricating laws of life out of their very psychosis.

[StellaBlue]

39. I was depressed back when all the shit hit the fan

But I am feeling better now. I was in a low-frequency depression for about three and a half years, actually, when I was in my former relationship. And I have come to realize the reality of death as a result of my entire world collapsing unannounced. I always thought that death was something that you could never truly comprehend (and certainly your own death) until that very moment. Or perhaps in the event of a traumatic near-death experience, like a car wreck. But even then the fleeting fear-based death realization usually passes after your heart rate calms down. I really understood that I was going to die. As in be annihilated (not to offends afterlife-believers here, but I don't think this post is particularly for nonbelievers only, as none of us knows what the ultimate finality of death is really like). And you know you always think that if you think about death, and how short life is, if you try to be an optimist, that you will then carpe diem. But to me, it just made me feel hollow. Like I knew that not only did nothing last forever, but I'd be annihilated soon enough, too.

Anyway, I've come through that. I still remember how I felt, but it doesn't make me feel numb and hopeless anymore.

And, yes, DU is a great support network and info exchange. I discovered it during the 2004 election, but I didn't join until I freed myself from the petty, RW mental constraints of my ex. I have also since joined the ACLU and Amnesty. Go me!

The smartest thing the human race could do is to realize that it is very dumb. So dumb, in fact, that it has abandoned most of the natural body of survival knowledge necessary to stay alive. The world is being run by individuals who are fabricating laws of life out of their very psychosis.

DITTO.

[StellaBlue]

42. it also helped that I discovered I'm a Taoist

helps me cope with the ebb and flow, and the fact that things just ARE, and that everything is eternal

(I'm a natural activist and dissident so these are important lessons haha)

[hopeisaplace]

45. you triggered another poem from me (poor you)

ha ha...

This poem, when you first read it, sounds as though it's speaking about passing to the next life. Actually, this poem is written about the place in ourselves, in our spirit, that is untouchable. Through all the stress, pain, confusion and struggles life presents to us, there is, inside of us, a place..our secret place...that nobody is able to penetrate. Personally, I'm able to tap into this inner sanctuary and hope others can do this too. It's weird, I can have complete chaos around me, and I still have a sense of "peace" in me. Of course, I worry, have bad days, all of that, but when it gets very hard, it's like I'm able to separate my physical self from my soul...it's like "the world can take it all from me" but it can never take my soul, my life energy if you will..that is solely mine for eternity. So this is how this poem came to life. :)


TAKE ME TO YOUR BEAUTIFUL

Someday you’ll take me to your beautiful
And show me all the colors there
Someday you’ll take me to your plentiful
And show me time I’ve always had to spare
Someday you’ll take me to your peacefulness
And show me joy in quiet care
I need to feel your spiritual
Where we’ll climb upon your knowledge stair
Lead me to your wonderful
And show me how to dance without a single care
Fly me to your gloryness
Where music plays itself in air
Sing to me collective passions
The Choir freed from all despair
Let me live my life in comprehensiveness
Happiness my gift from prayer
Shine a light within my beautiful
And show me every color there

[StellaBlue]

46. no, I like it

especially that it's so nonsectarian that even a hardcore atheist like me can find truth it in (where a Christian obviously would).

Big kudos to you!

[hopeisaplace]

49. hey thanks..

I've re-evaluated my spirituality in the last 10 years..I think I lean towards
Budhism...I'm one of those "we have had many lives" believers..
One of my brother's is an atheist too

[StellaBlue]

50. I thought I was a possible Buddhist until I found out about the Tao

I couldn't reconcile the mutually-exclusive Buddhists ideas that we a) do not have a soul or permanent personality or other 'self' and b) are reincarnated and liable for accumulated karma. Plus, despite being a-theistic and nonsupernatural (unless you embrace various developments within the different manifestations of Buddhism, of course, which sometimes lean toward the supernatural and even superstitious), Buddhism is still, essentially a salvationist religion. We are all moving toward enlightenment. We are all striving (and yet, somehow, the point is to cease striving). Something external is required. So I reject that for the same reason (well, one of them) that I reject Christianty: 'I was born right the first time.'

So Taoism seems perfectly natural and OF the universe to me.

[hopeisaplace]

53. Ok..I may not be a Buddhist, lol :)

I feel that we are here to love, learn and then go home. I believe in multiple lives..
I do feel these lives are to constantly improve and grow..but I don't believe we
are punished in a life..more that we are advancing with each life we live. I remember
when when I was 7 or 8 years old saying to one of my brothers, right out of the blue,
"why am I here".."why are WE here". I also feel it's really important to leave a positive
footprint of our life..to make a "contribution" while we are here. I really don't know if
there is a religion or belief system that taps into what I feel..but there you have it :)

edit: typo

[StellaBlue]

55. You don't have to be Buddhist to get a lot out of the Buddha's wisdom

I especially like the bits about compassion, choosing to Do the Right Thing, the intertwined web of existence and cause and effect, and the ideas about change and impermanence. Very helpful. I have a statue of a happy Buddha in my bedroom. But I bought him in Las Vegas. I am a paradox. bwhahahahaha

[hopeisaplace]

57. roflmao "I am a paradox"

very funny!

It's 4:00am here! I gotta hit the sack! nice talking with you,
and keep that paradoxical <---new Bushism! chin up :))

[Goldensilence]

37. agreed

at what point does the idea of another full fledged revolution come into matter if the 2008 scenario plays out?

[ladjf]

95. What do you mean exactly when you say "full fledged revolution"?

[ladjf]

96. What do you mean when you say "full fledged revolution"?

[NEOBuckeye]

54. Republicans don't have 10 more years. Outside forces will intervene.

At least to get the ball rolling against this horrible regime.

I think the economic manuvering against the US PetroDollar we are seeing in China and by Iran are mere preludes to what is to transpire over the next decade. In short, the world isn't going to long tolerate a bullying US hell-bent on controlling every last drop of oil that comes out of the ground in the Mideast.

China's move towards dumping their dollar reserves, and Iran's move to trade oil in PetroEuros are what you could call in part, "economic attacks" against the US. But their effects will be as severe and destructive to our economy as if bombs were dropped on major US cities.

We are at the threshhold of a Second Great Depression in this country. And just as during the first one, many people will lose everything, and will struggle to meet even their most basic necessities. We're talking food, water and shelter here. People will literally be fighting for their survival.

Last time, America was "saved" by Franklin Roosevelt and the New Deal Socialist-Democrats, who may have been all that stood between an impoverished citizenry and a brand new bloody revolution.

Who will be our FDR this time? I don't know, and the Republicans/NeoConservatives have done all they can to prevent one from rising into power. But that may be to their ultimate destruction, as the will and desire for change among the people must still somehow manifest.

The American people, even those individuals who have been brainwashed by Bush and the Right-Wing, are slowly waking up to find themselves living, not in an American Dream, but an American Nightmare. When they finally do awaken, to a world in which other nations are far, far ahead in everything, from wages, to health care, to employment, to education, to culture, when they see that America the Beautiful is a chemical-poisoned brownfield, when they finally see that the future for their children and grandchildren is a life of misery laboring for smug elitists who hate them and regard them worse than animals, then, and only then, will they push, shove and fight back.

I think it will take 2 more election cycles for the majority of people to have fully awakened and observed the nightmare in effect.

[The Whiskey Priest]

25. Let Me Apologize For My Irresponsibility….

It is my fault that the world is in the shape that you now have to live within. I want to thank you for providing me the opportunity to say I’m sorry. My generation was self-indulgent and self-centered; we did not have the fire-in-the-belly strong enough to get past the “me.” We turned our back on the accomplishments of our predecessor generations and allowed the dark side to regain supremacy.

As a mea culpa I can run to the seduction of lies. I and my friends contributed flesh and blood to those lies. My youth was shortened by those lies. It was only much too later that I saw the lies for the dastardly perversions that they were; for that I am truly sorry.

At this late date, when I look at you who have come after me; there is nothing that I can offer than the poor exercise of asking your forgiveness.

There is one thing my experience is worth; never forget what you do today has tremendous consequence upon tomorrow and those who follow.

[StellaBlue]

35. I feel like I have a second chance

I was definitely trapped in the dual-income, big-mortgage, rat-race, loveless-marriage, spiritual-death path of life until choices were made for me (which at the time I didn't want to accept because I had worked so hard to try to make things work out, both personally and work-wise), but after I'd had the distance of a few weeks, I realized I'd been presented with a marvelous opportunity to totally change the course of my life. Largely because I have a mother who is here for me when I need some help and a place to stay while trying to save some money.

I will never sublimate what I know is right and what the purpose of my life is to anyone else, or anyone else's dreams, or anyone else's demands (and here I am thinking of everyone from my ex to * himself) again. It's hard, but I think I have been given a chance to NOT be in the rat race, to NOT be another corporate wage slave (something I always inherently bristled against). I just have to stay on course.

And it's for the other people who see the right way but for whatever reason do not have the opportunity to be on it, that I make this choice.

I'm not the only one. Perhaps one day you will join us.

[ClayZ]

66. I wish you Bliss!

"Yet it is important to note that following one's bliss, as Joseph Campbell saw it, isn't merely a matter of doing whatever you like, and certainly not doing simply as you are told. It is a matter of identifying that pursuit which you are truly passionate about and attempting to give yourself absolutely to it. In so doing, you will find your fullest potential and serve your community to the greatest possible extent."


http://www.manifestyourpotential.com/en/work/tensteps/1discoverwork/recipe/recipe_for_dream_job.htm

[hopeisaplace]

36. beautifully written

[Greyhound]

100. Thank you so much, believe it or not that is the first time I've ever

heard anyone of your generation lay it all out like that.
Again, thank you.

[StellaBlue]

27. You know what really makes me feel better?

1:30am reruns of 'Roseanne' on Nick at Nite.

I just didn't appreciate that show back in '89. IT ROCKS.

[hopeisaplace]

29. lol, know what you mean

I like re-runs of

The Golden Girls
Mash
Welcome Back Kotter
WKRP In Cincinnati
Happy Days

all these shows bring me back to another time :)

[Lorien]

38. That and reruns of "The Cosby Show" or even "Family Ties"

even though the other two feature wealthy and middle class families, respectively, while "Roseanne" focuses on a blue collar family.

Why? Because those shows drew their humor from laughing at the human condition; our commonalities, not our differences. Today's sitcoms laugh at individuals in an attempt to make the viewer feel good about themselves because at least we aren't like "THOSE" people. Those popular '80's comedies featured loving, supportive families, not adversaries living under the same roof. Our culture has changed, just as our entertainment has changed; we are more removed and alone now. The times need more than a political about face; we need a cultural overhaul as well. The fundamentalists have helped create a society that behaves in ways very contrary to the words of the man they claim to follow.

[hopeisaplace]

41. I really enjoyed those shows too

any sitcoms that bring me back, I just love
oh and I forgot about CHEERS, watched a re-run yesterday..

[StellaBlue]

30. wow

I just realized I'd gotten three recommendations. The most I've ever gotten before was two, and that was for my (in my opinion) superior post on the hypocrisy of my relative's stance on the death penalty vs. her 'Christian' principles.

[The Whiskey Priest]

34. I would have given you more

but, they only allow one. This is a great post...so important and expressing what I thought was being felt and experienced by your generation. Thank you for your great writing.

[The2ndWheel]

31. I'm not going to tell you

that things will change. They really don't. Power simply finds new ways of control.

I'm 27, so I'm in the same boat.

At my core, I'm a radical enviro luddite anarchist(but civilization kills anything unlike itself, so, here we are). I'm not looking forward to the optimistic future promised us by everyone begging for our vote(if those count, if they even ever have to begin with), civilization continuing down the path to bigness, or "progress" making everything into gumballs and lollypops. I think our human freak show is screwed no matter which way we happen to go. So take what I have to say for what it's worth, if that's anything at all.

[StellaBlue]

44. hugs to a kindred spirit

I suspect I am really an anarchist myself. I reject all authority. SO I guess so.

[BamaGirl]

47. This is an ongoing conversation in my family

and thankfully, my parents really get it. My husband and I are in our mid 30's. My brother and his wife are both 30. We were all off so much better off just 2 or 3 years ago, and no one has had a job change. All of our friends are between 28 and 38, and everyone's pretty nervous. There just seems to be general low level of anxiety in all our lives now.

We did our taxes today and hubby actually made 10k less in 05 than 04. This has been our roughest year in a long time, mostly the last six months of it. We miss Clinton, and jump all over anyone who hoorahs * while bashing Clinton. We were able to buy our house back then, at 25 yo with 2 kids. I couldn't buy my own house now. I had to borrow money from my parents this week, for the first time since before I got married (11 yrs ago!), to make my house payment. It literally made me physically ill. We feel like we're backsliding, and we pretty much are. That wonderful Raygun legacy. This time last year we were thinking about selling here and looking for something a little bigger. Thank God, we got sticker shock.

And jobs, well there are no jobs. On the surface our little corner of Bama looks really prosperous, lots of new houses and businesses going in. But there are no jobs. I've sent out 62 resumes since August, and had 2 interviews. Now, I have 3 kids and haven't worked in 5 yrs, so I didn't expect it to be easy to get back to work, but this is ridiculous. I have two honorable discharges, varied work experience, etc and can't even get an interview. Wtf!? I can't even get into retail or back into waitressing because they all seem to want you at their beck and call. And that just amazes me. For little more than minimum wage they only want to talk to people who can work any day, any time. Daycare is more than minimum wage.

I just don't know anymore. I wrote two books last year, and I hope to God I sell one of them this year. It wouldn't bring in much money, but it'd definitely be better than the no money I seem worth now. I have a few writing projects on going, and frankly that seems to be my best hope for income. There just aren't enough jobs.

Other than that, I am pretty damned pessimistic. I don't see any improvement in our near future. My husband hasn't had a cost of living raise in 4 years, and his job cut out most of the overtime. We have no confidence that his civilian pension or military retirement will be around when he's ready for it, and we have lousy insurance that we can't afford to use. It certainly doesn't help that I minored in history and see 1939 when I look around. :P

So to answer your question (I think, I seem to have got lost somewhere in here lol) no, you aren't the only one feeling dread or desperation (though I don't think I'm there yet). The only real light I see in the world right is my children, who are turning out to be quite the little socialists.

[StellaBlue]

51. yep, this is the way to create a GENERATION of socialists, IMHO

I feel your pain. I totally feel your pain.

I am especially incensed by your post because you and your husband are both VETERANS. This is ludicrous.

This kind of talk makes me really understand, for the first time in my life, what moved people to cross an ocean in a rickety wooden boat to come to a foreign land filled with sometimes hostile natives and strange-looking vegetables and harsh winters. And what drove my own great-grandparents to come all the way from Alabama in a covered wagon.

Like them, we must find a way to go on.

[BamaGirl]

56. That's my hope,

to create a whole generation of socialists. Mine are definitely on board lol. Oddly enough, most of my younger cousins (the ones still in their early to mid 20s) are all socialists. I was never a big fan of socialism til * took over. Now, I am convinced that mankind can just not be trusted to do the right thing individually. Least my cynicism is true to my generation lol. The kids though...you'd feel better if you could hang out with my girls for a few hours lol. They are something else, smart and funny and sarcastic. And convinced * is pure evil. Can't imagine where they got that from lol. ;)

Far as veterans, don't get me started me. My hubby has already been deployed two years since * started his little wars, plus 3 hurricane activations, and another summer overseas. They're talking about getting deployed again this year and we're torn between hoping he does and hoping he doesn't, (We know where, and it's not Iraq, let me say.) because frankly we really need the money. I know a lot of people on DU don't get that, but they aren't raising 3 kids in Bama and working for a city that seems to have declared war on its own police department. I should also add that mostly we really liked the Army, when we were active duty. But Clinton's army was a whole different ballgame. * has destroyed it and that's a soapbox I won't get on right now.

My family is from Tn and Ga and half the time I look around myself and can't figure out how I ended up living in Bama lol. We've seriously considered leaving, but we just aren't convinced we'd be better off anywhere else and it's a big risk to take with 3 kids. I'm still stuck in 'wait and see' mode.

[hopeisaplace]

59. In reading your post I must say I really admire your tenacity

..the stories on this thread are inspirational even if they are not meant to be..
I hope it gets easier for you and your family, I really do
...now it's official, I'm off to bed :)

[BamaGirl]

61. Aww thx hope

:pals: My mom always says, you do what you gotta do. Always lol! It used to just drive me nuts when I was a kid, but those 6 words have seen me through every tough moment of my life. Seems silly, but there ya go lol.

[fed-up]

48. I slept in a closet in a studio apt for two years to save to buy a house

I used a sleeping bag on an egg crate and slept underneath my clothes that were hanging on a rack above me.

That was when I lived in San Francisco in the mid 1980's and when rent was quickly moving from $400-700 for a studio. Ours was rent controlled and I paid about $200.

I had to get creative to be able to afford a house and I got the idea from nearby Chinatown where families would live 10-12 to a 2 bedroom apartment so they could save money to buy houses.

It worked for me! I then was able to move to Sonora and buy a house where prices were much cheaper than in the bay area.

Sometimes one has to make short term sacrifices to get what they want.

Good luck!

[StellaBlue]

52. thanks for the positive, real-life story and encouragement!

Aaah... northern California. I would be in San Francisco RIGHT now if only I could afford it. The usual story.

[ngGale]

58. This is the most beautifully written thread...

it touched my heart, made me cry.:cry: This world is in a sad state of affairs, I too can only apologize. Most of us just wanted to leave the world a better place, filled with love and peace. Boy, did we ever screw up! One thing for sure - with stories like yours, we will only try harder to make life better for all of you. We always were a protesting, fighting, little bunch...just never give in, or give up.

:grouphug:

Nominated -

[StellaBlue]

60. you people inspire me

I think I was just not cut out to find happiness in the conventional ways people find happiness, and I need to just accept that. I will be happier being a hellraiser and poor than being a conformer and enabler and then only *maybe* having a retirement to count on. haha

At least if I have nothing much to lose, I can speak the truth and experience the little bit of freedom that is sometimes alloewd to humans on this earth.

[lyonn]

62. You are one among many

in your position. Unbelievable isn't it? I have a son that has a master degree and if he hadn't had a connection to get a job that pays fairly well he would be making a police officers wage. There are no jobs except in precious few areas like pharmacy, anything in the medical field, insurance, and even then it's a dog eat dog world. Clinton made it seem so easy. So what if there was a bubble, this economy makes no sense. Nothing this administration does makes sense. But hey, we have been through tough times before and I admit I have never seen anything like this and see no end to it. People are quietly beginning to wake up to what is happening, like when someone Had a job making $50,000. and had it reduced to $35,000. they begin to ask question and complain. Why are the multi-millionaires getting more tax breaks while our property taxes are going up. In other words, bushes bubble could burst at any time and things could definitely get better.

Ya got a good attitude under the circumstances and appear to stop and smell the roses.

[StellaBlue]

63. how is your son or me using a 'connection' to get a job any different from

*'s social promotion? Isn't that the problem?

Macro/micro.

[lyonn]

113. bush promotes people totally unqualified, think of Brownie

My son has had several jobs prior to the job he now has that were beneath his qualification and education. He had the cop job. Nothing wrong with being a cop but it wasn't what he had in mind, but, he was desperate. If you happen to know someone that thinks you would be good at a job that they are in a position to help you with you would be silly not to take the offer. I was referring to time and chance.

The job opportunities now seem to be slim, and I hear often people complain because someone won't hire them because they are over qualified. Kids now entering college are trying to pick a profession that will be in demand, one I know has decided on pharmacy and that seems like a good field. Example. But the business degree that so many got their degree in are having problems finding jobs from what I hear.

You are very young so time is on your side.

[and-justice-for-all]

65. Bloomington Indiana...

Yes, INDIANA....I live just over an hour NorthWest of Bloomington and I visit there about twice a month. Why? Because I live in a god damn bible belt strapped town with 1 Gay Bar, its like a 180 from Bloomington. Which is more open, more culterfied, plenty to do and really clean city specially since they have gone smoke-free. They do have there occasional hate group pass there with their stupid hate parade, but people just keep on doin whatever their doing and kinda point in laugh at them...

Employment shouldnt be a problem I dont think, specially in the summer. When IU is in session, Bloomingtons population doubles and I was just there last Sunday and saw ALOT of vacancies in houses and apartments. There is also a large number of Companies there too, I was going to move there and I had an interview in a small plastics film facility which was going to pay about 12 to 14 an hour. But, my lover decided that he didnt like what he was doing there and we never moved.

Terre Haute is boring but affordable. I filed Bankrupcy several years ago, not even 2 years after I filed I got a FINGERHUT account which I built some credit back up with. Well, while I did that for like less then a year, I was working in the Mall making 7.25 an hour. During my employment in that job I went out and bought a house for 44K! making 7.25 an hour! I could not believe it. I had a double income but I didnt put my lover down on anything, its all in my name.

Check into Bloomington, Indiana..I think you would like it there...As for the current static in the air with that horrid GOP and the Crony Clan, you have to fight or get eaten alive.

If someone smites you on the left, SMASH them on the right...Take no shit from NO ONE!

[PhilipShore]

67. Why not study philosophy?

I forgot the name of the philosopher but the philosophy was something like, man is living in a web of illusions, and reality is too painful, so they (the sheeple) continue to live in a illusion.

It is simply easier to be a slave. Why do you think the Repuke’s have a following of have the nation? It is because it is easier to simply be a cog in a machine (sheeple).

[mopaul]

69. only since birth

and it's notched up about 50 times in the last 5 years. nice rant.

[Dirty Hippie]

70. Read Howard Zinn's

"A People's History of the United States."

The main impression I got from the book was we have been here before - election fraud, rampant corporatism, corrupt government etc.

After the Gilded Age came one of the most progressive periods of our history.

The pendulum will swing back. Unfortunately, I may be too old to see it.

[StellaBlue]

87. LOVE THAT BOOK

I've been reading lots of books that I always wanted to read, or that my ex would've given me hell for reading, now that I have time and can. That one was totally illuminating and very in tune with own hunches and values.

[StellaBlue]

88. duplicate

sorry

[StraightDope]

71. Just be glad that you can afford an internet connection...

Let alone such luxuries as utilities, food, and a telephone. Remember, it could be MUCH worse.

SD

[RandomKoolzip]

72. It could be, but why can't it be better?

[rucky]

73. Have you thought about becoming a teacher?

it'll take another year or so to get your foot in the door & get licensed (unless you live in a rapidly growing area), but it's some stability and lord knows we need good teachers - especially in red areas like where you and I live.

It took me until age 34 until I got on the path I'm on (BA/MA, like you). I'm not there yet (working in Title I support program right now, but want my own classroom), but at least I'm on a career path that makes a positive contribution, and has a bit more solid future than most.

Of course, it helps if you like kids :)

[libnnc]

82. I'm 35 and boy do I feel this thread

Just got my BA and I'm drowning in student loans too. Trying to get into grad school for next year and am working as a sub teacher now. I'd do a Title I gig if it came up. I don't really want a classroom of my own. I see myself in higher academia but I don't know if it's at all attainable now. If I didn't have a wonderful partner who brings home the bacon, (I cook it :-) ), I'd be in a world of hurt.

[StellaBlue]

91. I am so tired of hearing that (haha)

I don't like kids.

I have a close relative who keeps going on and on and about great teaching is (she has one teacher friend who teaches a BS class and does NOTHING beyond the bare minimum and yet has a great retirement, comparatively, and it makes her crazy with jealously and she thinks all teachers' jobs are that 'easy'), and I am so tired of hearing it. If I became a teacher, I would be one of those people who 'became a teacher because they couldn't do anything else'. And that's NOT what we need in this country. I originally wanted to be a college professor, which is why I am now going to do a distance MLIS and become an academic librarian (related to my original interests, you see). I just couldn't handle all the Freudian/Marxist/blah/blah/blah bullshit and politics, and my MA totally burnt me out on the whole academic enterprise. Too much bullshit, too insecure, very little pay, plus I don't want to accrue another $100,000 in debt to do a PhD.

But, kids - no way.

[xynthee]

75. Beautifully written!!

You've put into beautifully-written words what hundreds of thousands of us are feeling. A lot of us don't realize it yet, but we will!

The current state of affairs seems unsustainable, but I've thought that for years and America has kept limping along. It seems impossible that things could be this bad without more people noticing, doesn't it? Can you imagine the devastation they're all going to feel once they realize we're totally fucked?? We (people paying attention) have had a few years to get used to the horrible truth, but it's going to shock the hell out of most Amurkans.

But I digress . . . .

Excellent post!! Recommended!

[The River]

78. When You Feel Depressed

about how things are going today,
just think what life was like
for your ancestors in the 10th century.

You have it "made in the shade" compared
to 99%+ of all humans who have ever lived.

If you can't be happy to simply be alive
in the moment, you are asking for too much.
Everything else is gravy.

[StellaBlue]

93. I agree wholeheartedly

that's another of the things that keeps me going.

And something I used to mention to my ex (who was just a miserable person in general, and angry that he couldn't be a millionaire). And I certainly tell this to my freeper relatives now. But more in the sense of, 'You're so spoiled! LOOK at us!'.

Compared even to my own grandparents, who only had one pair of shoes, often with holes in them, picked cotton all day in the hot sun, had no indoor plumbing or tampons, had to kill and butcher their own food, and never went anywhere. Then got drafted.

[justabob]

79. I am in a similar situation

I am 10 years older with a 9 year old son and only have an Associates degree. I have been trying to live on about 750/mo for several months because, like you, have not been able to get a better job. I have put out dozens of applications/resumes since last summer and had exactly 2 interviews. The last one was a couple of days ago and the interviewer told me he had literally HUNDREDS of applications and only TWO positions and the job started at only $7/hour. I haven't even been able to get my job of last resort... waitress. I have 10 years of experience - shift leader, trainer, etc and I can't get a job. They tell me "we have so many apps ... don't even bother" *sigh*

I have not yet given up hope, but it sure does get difficult sometimes to keep at it. If it was just me it would be easier. I could make more drastic changes to get by, but with my son, those options are limited. He is very understanding and was a really great sport about Christmas, but it breaks my heart. I have basically given up those pie in the sky dreams I had after graduating high school. I grew up with a fair amount of money, went to the best public school in town, and was told my whole life that a college degree would secure my fate. Uh huh. My first attenpt at college broke the bank. I wish I had gone into a trade back then. It has taken me 5 years to get a basic "transfer degree", and no money to continue a bachelors though I tried. Now I am starting a new program at community college to be a GIS tech/specialist. It is not like being an electrician or plumber, but I should, at least, be able to get an interesting job... in two years. *sigh*

I do think things will get better eventually, but unlike many here, I don't think change will happen via our "leaders". At some point, people will rise up, and I think that will happen sooner rather than later. What we have now is about as stable as a house of cards and cannot go on - economically speaking, not politically. We joke about pitchforks and torches, but I think that is really what will happen, especially if the parties continue on their current paths.

[justabob]

80. self delete - dupe

[peace_on_earth]

81. Please visit our website--not an advertisement, just free advice

I would not normally do this, but I think the information on our website may give you a tremendous amount of hope for your future. (I do hope the moderators will allow this post to stay--please?)

In essence, we all live in a universe of infinite possibilities...quantum physics now proves this as fact. It is up to each of us to form and consciously create the life we desire. And, we all have the innate power to create this life we want, if only we understand our vast power and learn how to apply it. (We're all doing it already, but most of us do it unconsciously.)

Personally, being aware of the information we have on our site is the ONLY thing that keeps me SANE in what seems like a hopeless situation in our country. This is why we created the site in the first place--because what's happening geopolitically could drive a person nuts (and was!). We also back up our information with hard scientific research, so you can see for yourself WHY this information works.

http://www.journey-to-success.com/

I hope it helps.

[Vanje]

84. my bad dream

"What I am talking about here is the feeling that the life we know, life as we have experienced it (all of us under about age 65), like as we expected it would be and planned for, is inevitably going to become quicksand under us?"

Worse.
Just last night , I dreampt the next Reichstag fire. And it was a mushroom cloud. And I couldnt find my dogs. And my sheep were'nt fit to eat. And I was hungry. And my dogs were hungry. And my sheep had become poison from the radio-active earth.

I woke up with a new and sickening fear. That Bush, needing a new 911 type event to keep himself in power, would unleash or cause to be unleashed, the first nuclear explosion in 50 years.

Nothing less would stir the fears of the citizenry sufficient to suspend any talk of indictments or , impeachments. The media will say it came from Iran. This will necessitate and excuse our invasion of that sovereign nation.

if Bush / Cheney have an EVENT up their sleeves, i think they'd unleash it early enough to interfere with the 2006 congressional elections.

DU, I'm sorry. I dont usually post stupid shit like dreams. But I think our world is about to be Shocked and awed. Shocked in a way to make all our day to day concerns obselete, and to make the Bush II,administration's current problems become irrelevant.

[Vanje]

85. Fuck yes.

"What I am talking about here is the feeling that the life we know, life as we have experienced it (all of us under about age 65), like as we expected it would be and planned for, is inevitably going to become quicksand under us?"

Worse.I don't mean just about the world political situation or about Dumbya or about the prospect of terrorists on your local train or of a nuclear holocaust. We all have to somehow continue to function while dreading these fears.

What I am talking about here is the feeling that the life we know, life as we have experienced it (all of us under about age 65), like as we expected it would be and planned for, is inevitably going to become quicksand under us?


Just last night , I dreampt the next Reichstag fire. And it was a mushroom cloud. And I couldnt find my dogs. And my sheep were'nt fit to eat. And I was hungry. And my dogs were hungry. And my sheep had become poison from the radio-active earth.

I woke up with a new and sickening fear. That Bush, needing a new 911 type event to keep himself in power, would unleash or cause to be unleashed, the first nuclear explosion in 50 years.

Nothing less would stir the fears of the citizenry sufficient to suspend any talk of indictments or , impeachments. The media will say it came from Iran. This will necessitate and excuse our invasion of that sovereign nation.

if Bush / Cheney have an EVENT up their sleeves, i think they'd unleash it early enough to interfere with the 2006 congressional elections.

DU, I'm sorry. I dont usually post stupid shit like dreams. But I think our world is about to be Shocked and awed. Shocked in a way to make all our day to day concerns obselete, and to make the Bush II,administration's current problems become irrelevant.

[Lorien]

104. Scarier still

rapid global warming could make any BushCo "event" seem less than newsworthy by comparison; we're talking about forest and crop failures, ocean "desertification", and oxygen loss that would kill most life on earth-possibly in our lifetimes.

[Vanje]

92. Yes.Only worse

"What I am talking about here is the feeling that the life we know, life as we have experienced it (all of us under about age 65), like as we expected it would be and planned for, is inevitably going to become quicksand under us?"

Worse.I don't mean just about the world political situation or about Dumbya or about the prospect of terrorists on your local train or of a nuclear holocaust. We all have to somehow continue to function while dreading these fears.

What I am talking about here is the feeling that the life we know, life as we have experienced it (all of us under about age 65), like as we expected it would be and planned for, is inevitably going to become quicksand under us?


Just last night , I dreampt the next Reichstag fire. And it was a mushroom cloud. And I couldnt find my dogs. And my sheep were'nt fit to eat. And I was hungry. And my dogs were hungry. And my sheep had become poison from the radio-active earth.

I woke up with a new and sickening fear. That Bush, needing a new 911 type event to keep himself in power, would unleash or cause to be unleashed, the first nuclear explosion in 50 years.

Nothing less would stir the fears of the citizenry sufficient to suspend any talk of indictments or , impeachments. The media will say it came from Iran. This will necessitate and excuse our invasion of that sovereign nation.

if Bush / Cheney have an EVENT up their sleeves, i think they'd unleash it early enough to interfere with the 2006 congressional elections.

DU, I'm sorry. I dont usually post stupid shit like dreams. But I think our world is about to be Shocked and awed. Shocked in a way to make all our day to day concerns obselete, and to make the Bush II,administration's current problems become irrelevant.

[AnneD]

94. I deal with young kids every day....

and I think of their future often. I remember when I graduated, I felt that there was a great big world out there to conquer. I hoped that I could make it a better place. And throughout my life I have tried to make it a better place because I wanted to pass this better place down to my children.

And here we are today.....the world is a smaller, dirtier, meaner, greedier, pettier, place full of dangers never imagined. Our leaders are nothing more than little jack booted tin horned selfish thugs full of their own self importance. Stella, I never imagined that this is the world I would be leaving you or my children and I still hold on to the thought that we still may be able to correct this. When I feel down, I always remember the words of Mohandas Gandhi "There have been tyrants and
murderers and for a time they seem invincible but in the end, they always fall ...". And it is true.

Our world is changing. And with this change comes pain. It is a work in progress and yet we don't quite see where we are going. On a personal level, I can only encourage you to keep trying and don't be afraid to do new and different things. Know your worth and try not to settle for less. Make a plan and work toward that plan. You are starting your life, post college and you are in a transition stage. Our current political, social, and economic back drop makes it difficult for you. I would encourage you to get several books to help. This is a time to focus on yourself and develop yourself. I recommend Rich Dad Poor Dad by Kiosaki (I think that spelling is close), The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey, What Colour is your Parachute (can't remember the author), and 48 Days To The Work You Love by Dan Miller. These are good books that will help you in the different areas of your life. Your life will not always be as it is now. Take comfort in the knowledge that others have gone through this and had the same feelings.

[Lorien]

106. Isn't it amazing?

I don't know your age, but I was a child in the early '70's. I went to a school that was so liberal that it would seem like almost laughable fiction by today's standards; no desks, long haired teachers that looked fresh from Woodstock (who only wanted to be addressed by their first names).Classes took place in the woods or a barn or, at one point, James Thurber's home.Our "school bus" was a VW van with daisies and a peace sign painted on it....and, contrary to GOP expectations, most of the students went on to ivy league universities. But back then our vision of the future was one filled with peace and equality; it was greener, kinder, and more enlightened. NO ONE could have possibly imagined how we have regressed, de-evolved...it's simply stunning beyond belief. I find myself surprised by the fact that I'm glad that I'm no younger than I am, then saddened to think of those who are still children, and fearful for their futures.

It's a good reading list (even if Ramsey is a repug, it's still sensible financial advice). I'd also recommend anything by Barbara Sher ("The idea party").

[Avalon Sparks]

97. Quick response...

My situation was similar at age 25 back in early 1990, although I only had one degree and didn't have the student loans you do. I did the whole temp job thing and everything did look bleak. I didn't think I'd ever get a real job and I was broke all the time. I ran up credit cards just trying to pay rent and eat and party a little bit (hit the club scene)... no extravagant purchases...

This is what turned it all around for me.

I got into a customer service call center job at a big company that I knew was excellent at promoting people. Sure enough I advanced up from sales support, to account manager to business analyst, within 5 years. Now I am a business analyst at another company and my salary is pretty good.

In the early 90's with my degree in Recreation Therapy, I would never have thought I'd be doing what I'm doing... lol.

The best thing I did was find a permanent job with a company that I knew would advance people. As a temp I had temped around at enough companies to know what companies would be more likely to help with my career and financial advancement goals. These companies usually have many happy people working for them, and most people have been there a long time. They also have lots of training programs to take advantage of. You get a 'feel' for them after awhile. I knew someone at the company I really wanted to work at (although they weren't able to help me get a job there). This person was advancing at a rapid pace and from everything she told me it sounded like exactly the place I was looking for.

I didn't get a job at this company easily though. The first couple times I tried to get in I was turned away. I had decided though, that I was going to work there one way or another and I kept trying. I tried to get hired directly though the company and I was turned away. I tried to get in through a temp agency, and was told "you're not really what they are looking for' but they sent me to interview anyway. I did not get hired again.

Oh yeah, we'll see about that I thought, I am going to work there. By now this company had become my mecca. :)

I bugged the temp agency about that company for several months while I did other assignments for them and finally a position came up (the sales support job) that the temp agency said they would send me to interview for. It was my third time going out there to interview and I just knew this time I would get hired. I got the job and it did become the jump start of my 'career'.

I really believe that if you want to work somewhere badly enough there is a way in the door and the most important thing is picking the right company.

I have followed this logic to get other jobs at two additional companies I really wanted to work for. I continue to believe that enthusiasm, tenacity, persistance and creative thinking will allow me to be able to pick the company I want to work at, rather than settle for just whoever wants to pick me - for the rest of my career.

You're going to be just fine and you will find better jobs too. My mid-twenties were my 'crazy' years. They were confusing, depressing and I felt hopeless and like I had no control. I also felt like a big broke loser with a lot of potential, but no means or opportunities to make anything happen.
I was always alternating between wondering why I couldn't get my shit together and then saying well screw it if I don't.... I'd definitely call it the starting out life crisis years..

Good Luck!

[Olney Blue]

99. Thank you for this illuminating post.

I read it with great interest because I see my stepson and his friends of your
age struggling with similar thoughts. This entire discussion with DU members
has touched me, and I wanted to thank you, StellaBlue, for reminding us older
people of why we must keep fighting for the future.

Best wishes. I think you make the world a better place. :pals:

[StellaBlue]

107. wow, I don't know what to say.

Never heard that before. I HAVE had people tell me I make the world an awful place, though. hahahaha

[Stand and Fight]

102. As a 27-year old in much the same situation...

I feel where you're coming from. Only I equate it to being in Oklahoma and Texas myself. I'm bookmarking this thread.

[skids]

103. I burned out my desperation and despair circuit long ago.

I've been pretty much convinced that 99% of people suck, even progressives, since being a teen. So I just concentrate on the few small bits of the world I can enjoy, and push back (as hard as I can without hurting myself too badly) at the overall suckitude to prevent it infringing further into whatever pocket of joy I can manage to scrape together for myself.

[Neecy]

105. take stock of what you have...

As disturbing as your story is (and many here can say that they've been through the same thing to varying degrees), what struck me about your story is what a talented writer you are.

Have you thought about freelancing? You can pick up some gigs at elance.com or guru.com and supplement your income - and you don't need to be in a major urban area to do so. Work from home, tell the system to screw off and use your talent.

[StellaBlue]

109. thanks, I'll have a look at those

I am also writing a novel right now about collective myth, stories and their meanings for our personal mythologies, etc. And it's Texas Gothic. We'll see how that goes.

[ananda]

118. You have a full brain..

Novelist and librarian... sounds good to me. They sort of work off each other.

You definitely have a future.

Go for it!

I look forward to seeing what you have to say a year or two from now.

Sue

[ThatsMyBarack]

110. I sure do--each and every day!

That's why I'm not afraid to eat what tastes good. I don't want to live longer if the future looks that bad.

:hide: :popcorn: :donut:

[greiner3]

111. I fight against depression daily;

I was diagnosed bi-polar 15 years ago. I take 4 heavy duty meds daily. I sleep 11-12 hours daily. Yes Stellablue, I can empthasize with you. It's a day-to-day thing. I am sure that if I was not on meds right now I would be in a mental institution facing a long stay. Hang in there! Things will get better! If not, I believe that mental institutions will be filled to overflowing.

[MakeItSo]

112. Every generation has had to face enormous challenges

Don't lose sight of the fact that we have more tools and more knowledge at our disposal than any civilization in history.

There are many interesting jobs out there, more accessible than ever before because of the web. Someone without kids has lots of options, as long as he's not thinking about striking it rich right away. Work on a dude ranch. Try a hand at a garden center. Become a Buddist monk. It's America. The pursuit of happiness is something we proclaim an inalienable right.

Many people here are tied to the yoke of consumerism. They figure that cable television and a late model car are among the inalienable rights of humanity as well and if they can't afford $30K per annum for their kids' college educations they deem themselves failures as parents. What about old-fashioned broadcast TV reception (or better yet, no TV)? What about buying dirt cheap used cars you can find thanks to the internet? What about good state schools?

Ours is a self-absorbed culture. We have the luxury of being so.

We have challenges to face, but they tend not to be of the "dying of hunger" variety.

Iraq is bad, with over 2,000 US soldiers dead now and tens of thousands of Iraqis. But over 50,000 US soldiers died in Vietnam and more than one million Vietnamese over the course of the long war for independence there.

We have revolutionary tools at our disposal. Knowledge is power. The web spreads knowledge. We are entering a period of collective consciousness that is unprecedented in human history.

We have an obligation to use and appreciate all the gifts we've been given through either random luck or fill-in-the-blank.

I feel for the young guy who started this thread. God knows I've been there. It's a hard, cold, lonely road sometimes, especially when you are single and just starting out.

But I think it always has been.

[LeftHander]

115. DOn't sweat it you'll be fine...

My wife and I made less than 17K/year household income with a baby (in our 30's then) in the house and we survived and went on to make 150k per year for a few years until Dubya killed the economy. TO this day we live light. But extremely rich and rather joyus lives. Sure we get down and we rail against the injustices in the world but we work to bring joy others with her art and my music. And spending time with friends laughing and in service to our UU church we attend. And most of all in conversation with our daughter next to the wood stove after a good meal.

While we were "poor" we had a hand me down tv, no cable. A 50 year old fridge recovered from a old apartment that was destined to be junked. A stove from a coworker that we bought for $20. And a house we bought for 19,000 on a land contract from a person who let the taxes slip.

Sure it was hard. But we found that friends and neighbors stick together, help each other. All you have to to is extend a hand to help each other and talk to one another.

Corporations will ultimately do nothing for you. They don't care about you.

Keep you expectation set so you remember the important things in life....friends, family and helping others.

The trinkets, material wealth and trappings of our modern consumer society are hollow and empty and will offer no lasting source of fullfillment.

Love is what matters. Modest living facilitates happiness as much of your anxiety comes from not having the ability to pay for the "things" we seem to feel are neccesary. They aren't. All you really need is food, shelter, water and love. The rest is just a bonus.

peace to you....

I know you will find what really matters in life and you will be happy.

[StellaBlue]

128. I think this is the key

I have recently been impressed by the 'Your Money or Your Life' book and subculture. I think it's the only way, short of winning the lottery, for me.

[Heewack]

116. This may sound harsh...

... but why spend all the money on education if it doesn't directly parlay into a good paying job? In other words, unless it's necessary for your particular field it could be looked at as a waste of money.

[threadkillaz]

117. Practice.

You could utilize the fake portfolio system at Yahoo Finance to practice and learn the market, by pretending to invest, tracking your stocks, but not actually spending real money. Just practicing. In 5 years, spend your first dime. You will be 31 and have the rest of your life to make some real money. Shop for stocks with good balance sheets, profitable, and are at, or near their 52-week lows, with price/book ratios near or below 1. Don't put any money in the market unless you can stand not seeing it for a minimum of 3 years. Don't panic. Good Luck.


Yahoo - Finance
http://finance.yahoo.com/

[Seabiscuit]

119. Your story is so sad because it's so real...

And I feel like one of the lucky ones because I'm 60, self-employed, and semi-retired, so I don't have to face all those ugly new realities facing people your age.

Having lived in Europe for years, I wouldn't hesitate returning to that $40K salary in England, given your circumstances. But that's just me.

I don't have any solutions or suggestions for you beyond that. In 5 short years the BFEE has destroyed virtually every good thing about the America I once knew.

Fortunatly I built myself a small fortune when it was still possible to do so by honest work. If I were condemned to live on the pittance that Social Security doles out I'd be in dire straits when I turn either 62 or 67 (what happened to 65???). Your story makes me feel a little guilty just saying that. And why should I? I've never done anything but good, honest work in my life, yet I can't help but feel a twinge of shame in knowing that I'm relatively safe and secure in a country which has abandoned and put in peril so many of its own people.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

120. What Are Your Degrees In? Are You Willing To Relocate?

to a different state? Or are you to bound to your area now due to family etc. Do you have any desire to start your own business? A product that you feel passionate about to put the effort into its production and marketing etc? Since you have the good background you very well may have some inspiring ideas in your head for a business model that could be effective. Then you would be controlling your own destiny through hard work and motivation.

For now keep applying and keep trying. Look for contacts to network with. Put up your resume wherever you can, and make sure you read or buy some of the things online advising on how to write a killer resume. You seem bright and determined, so don't let the current state of things bring you down. I have no doubt that before you know it you will be in your house, with your baby, with the sun on your face. Stay determined and proud and always exude confidence towards your potential employer. If you are able to move to another state there could be far more financial opportunity as well, but that depends on the person, of course.

All in all, you are bright, you have done the right things, and if you just keep moving forward you will definitely find something that suits you. Networking is key though. Talk to anyone you know about where they work, are there openings, etc. Every new person you meet consider a contact. You've got the goods, now you just gotta get the appointment, and one there put on the best display to sell your product... you...

I feel good vibes for you Stella Blue.. Keep it up and Keep the faith.

[RagAss]

121. We are the Hollow Men, We are the Stuffed Men.....TS Elliot

[BigBearJohn]

126. I have a few suggestions for you

You are a very intelligent woman. You did not get where you are
today by being weak. I think there still are opportunities in
the United States to start your own business. People do it all
the time. Why work for somebody else? And, there still are
nice states that have reasonably-priced homes with enclaves of
Democrats.

Build a family of friends and supporters who believe like you
do. Feed your spirit, not just your body. There still is
truth and beauty in this world. It's in you and it's in others.
It's in the world. Just look for it.

In my personal opinion, beauty and ugliness exist side by side
in this world. We can choose to look for the beauty.

You'll make it.. Just be brave, seek kindred spirits and create
beauty. Most of all, be a truly creative thinker/problem solver.

There are many more people in this world who 1000 times worse
off than you and I.

With Love,

Big Bear John

[BooScout]

127. Take a deep breath.......

...and understand you're only 26. It does get better and life is not handed to you on a silver platter. You have to bust your butt to move up in this world.

At 26, you have completed a 4 year degree, plus your masters, plus lived abroad for 3 years. Hello???? Do you know how many people would give their right arm for those opportunities?

Settle down, find an entry level job in a field you like and stick with it for a few years. Pt a little aside each week......even if it's only a couple of bucks in a cookie jar......make yourself do it. If you find a job that offers a 401k start contributing 2 percent when you start the job and gradually up the contribution a percent at a time.

I am 45 years old........busted my butt since I started working at age 15.....I ate a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in my day and did whatever it took to get by. You'll get there.....it may take a while, but if you keep at it you'll make it.

[StellaBlue]

129. THANKS TO EVERYBODY

This has been a great thread, if I may say so myself. Despite my OP!

[Loge23]

130. Better watch out...

...the self-anointed keepers of the DU board will chide you for "giving up"!
Hang in there - it sucks for sure. But the sun will shine on those cheeks.
"Is it postmodern existential anxiety? Prolonged teen angst? A 'quarter-life crisis'? Utopian folly? Righteous indignation?"

Uhh, yeah. All of the above.

[SmokingJacket]

131. I'm ten years older than you, and I feel like I snuck in under the wire.

I have a small old house, which cost me under $70 eight years ago. It would NOT cost that today - it's now assessed at over twice that. I left college with about $10K in loans -- and my parents paid very little for me, it was all loans and scholarships. It's paid off now... thank God. (I actually suspect I wouldn't even have GOTTEN INTO my college if I went later, since they did away with need-blind admissions... but that's a rant for another day.)


Things can change fast! When I got out of college 1990, there was NO HOPE either -- I just putzed around until the Clinton administration, and things improved rapidly. It can happen again, faster than you think...

[Jose Diablo]

132. Why don't you take a road trip?

I hear Cancun is great this time of year.

Sounds like you need a break, mostly from thinking. It may get better, or worse, but life seldom stays the same.

[StellaBlue]

133. I am going to NYC for the first time at the beginning of March!

Got tickets for a ridiculous $232, staying for free with a friend in Chelsea. That should inspire me sufficiently for, oh, about five years, I suspect.