Best phone call EVER

[kpete]

Best phone call EVER
by John in DC - 6/05/2006 03:30:00 PM

AMERICAblog reader Bill writes in about his phone call to Senator Crapo's office (R-ID) this afternoon:

Is Senator Crapo in favor of traditional marriage?
Yes he is, he's a cosponsor of the bill.
He is? Can you tell me if he masturbates?
I could not tell you that.
Can you tell me, do you masturbate?
I cannot tell you that either.
Can you tell me, does he commit sodomy, analingus, cunnilingus or fellatio?
What is the purpose of this questioning?
It's regarding his views on traditional marriage.
Okay, he supports the bill.
Yes, but could you tell me does he commit sodomy?
I could not give you an answer on that.
Is he willing to pledge that he has not or will not commit sodomy?
I could not answer that.
Has he ever had sex before or outside of marriage?
Again, sir, what is the point of this questioning?
It's regarding traditional marriage and how far his support goes.
Any one of those questions I could not answer.
Have you ever had sex outside of marriage?
Again, I will not answer that.
It's nobody's business, right?
That's right.
Okay, thank you.

http://americablog.blogspot.com/2006/06/best-phone-call-ever.html

AUDIO Available at Crooks and Liars: http://www.crooksandliars.com/2006/06/05.html#a8595

[im10ashus]

1. K&R!!!!!

That's BRILLIANT!!!

[YellowRubberDuckie]

2. Good point.

It's no one's business who you're sleeping with or what happens behind the closed door of your house. I don't care who you're having sex with. I couldn't care less. Why do THEY care so damned much?!
Duckie

[Richard Steele]

3. "It's nobody's business, right?" " That's right."

I don't even know whether to :rofl: or :banghead:

[ItsTheMediaStupid]

17. He should have asked the staffer what do you have to hide?

That's the line of thinking with these assholes. If you won't tell them everything, what have you got to hide. Turn that around and shove it up their collective asses.

If you complain about surveillance, they say I haven't done anything wrong, so why would I worry.

[klook]

22. "The camera in your bedroom tells me differently." (n/t)

[Sydnie]

4. Bet the NSA's ears perked up at that call!

:rofl:

[im10ashus]

6. That would be priceless. Killing two birds with one stone - so to speak.

:rofl:

[Jeffersons Ghost]

5. K&R! too funny!

[in_cog_ni_to]

7. Perfectly exposed the hypocrisy.

:thumbsup:

[WindRavenX]

8. this should be repeated to every senator in favor of the amendment

NT

[lonestarnot]

9. Wooodamnwhoo! Point very well made.

[SeattleGirl]

10. Excellent call! Hit all the biblical points of "traditional marriage"

Hehehehehehe!!!!!

[BrklynLiberal]

11. Absolutely fantastic!!!

[LSK]

12. K&R!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[file83]

13. "It's nobody's business" is FUCKIN' A CORRECT.

Fucking Republican'ts.

[KingFlorez]

14. Fixed them good!

Great phone call, put them on the spot and make them see just how pointless all this is

[havocmom]

15. Another great call posted to AMERICAblog on the issue:

Call to office of Martinez (R-FL)

So help me God, I called Martinez's office. I said that, given the Senator's interest in protecting marriage combined with Florida's high divorce rate, would he be willing to introduce an amendment to outlaw divorce.

I was told I'd have to submit that question in writing since that had not been previously considered.

I put on my indignantly surprised voice and said, "You mean to tell me that given all the discussion in the Senate about protecting marriage, I'm the first person to bring up this ideas?"

So help me God, her answer was to say, "The Senator is not interested in protecting marriage but in protecting the definition of marriage."

So glad AMERICAblog is posting this stuff. It is priceless and inspirational!

[Catrina]

23. Omg! ONly interested in 'definition' of Marriage? So, call Dictionary

Publishers every year and make sure the definition doesn't change!! If that's all they care about, it doesn't take a Constitutional Amendment to do it. Amendments to the Constitution take YEARS! If Martinez doesn't go after those Dictionary publishers in the meantime, by the time the Amendment happens, it may already be TOO LATE!! :rofl:

God, these people are unbelievably stupid and they're running this country!!

[Maraya1969]

25. I just sent that one to a bunch of Floridans. Hope they spread it

But I probably should have stuck an (R) in there for those who aren't paying attention.

[ismnotwasm]

16. Hilarious

I needed that today

[FogerRox]

18. Ditto ............freaking funny as hell

[gully]

19. Might it be prudent to have Democrats ask R's to define the sex acts

allowed in a so called "traditional marriage?"

Excellent post.

[Stinky The Clown]

20. Okay, that got me. K&R and I'm sending this to everyone I know

Very Cool!

[donheld]

21. Great Call

literally.

[svpadgham]

24. That is funny

And an incredibly ballsy call to make, but I'm pretty sure it was a wasted effort and the poignancy was completely lost on the recipient of the phone call. Here's how the reaction probably went after the call ended.

Person #1: "Dude, who was that on the phone?"

Person #2: "Some nut asking if the Senator bangs his wife in the ass."

Person #1: "Probably some Democrat, that's why gays shouldn't be allowed to get married.

Person #2: "I know, right. So you wanna go get a hooker and tag team her?"

OK, that may be a bit far fetched. Still it's a gutsy phone call to make especially with the wire tapping going on.

[calimary]

26. Best punchline with a side of irony!

K&R - happily!

Ummm... YES. It IS nobody's business.

[Hippo_Tron]

27. No way I could possibly make that call with a straight face

And from experience, the staffer answering your call was probably laughing his ass off.