Bush Reveals 2-Part Plan To Aid Nation's Uninsured

[stopbush]

It's so simple, I wonder why no one ever thought of it before:

Part I: For common/everyday illnesses:

Visit your local OTCMC (Over The Counter Medical Center). They have all the drugs most people need, and without a
prescription. More important:

- no bothersome co-pays. You pay 100%. It's clean and simple!

- no expensive trips to the doctor. You self-diagnose, so you self-medicate

- many OTC drugs were once prescription-only drugs. Now that the patents have expired
you can get them OTC. So what if you're 25 years behind the "cutting-edge" medicine
window? What's 25 years on a planet that's been around for 6,000 years anyway?

- counter to received opinion, most so-called diseases and ailments can be cured by taking
aspirin, taking a hot bath, getting a good night's sleep or a combination of the three. Who
needs pills that cost $80 a pop?

- save money! Why pay for those expensive prescription drugs when most OTC drugs run you
under $20 per package? And, the packaging for OTC drugs is so much more colourful and
creative than the old stick-in-the-mud brown plastic prescription bottle. What fun is that?

- convenience. OTCMCs are on every street corner, and you don't need an appointment! And,
you can do a little shopping for sundries while you're there.

- you can bitch about the medical profession with your fellow shoppers. Try doing THAT in a
doctor's office!


Part II: For so-called "catastrophic" illnesses:

It's one simple step: call on Dr Jesus

- he makes house calls! And you can call as many times as you want, whenever you want (Catholics
may need an intercessor referral from the Virgin Mary or a saint prior to consultation)

- why depend on the so-called "skills" of so-called "medical experts" when you can summon the
power of prayer, reinforced by everyone in your local congregation, people you know and trust?

- no messy follow-up trips after treatment! You either live (and spend a few more sorry years on this horribly
evil hell called Earth), OR you get lucky and meet your Lord a little sooner than expected. Jackpot! That's a promise
the medical "profession" could never give you. It's a gift, really.

- best of all, no matter what the outcome, you can rest easy in the knowledge that the Lord's will was done


:)

[EVDebs]

1. Join the Christian Scientist church (Dr. Jesus ?) eom

[flamin lib]

2. One part plan.

Don't get sick.

[The_Casual_Observer]

3. It's the "ownership society". Perhaps the community colleges

can offer courses in "Self administered medical care".

[Recursion]

4. I know it's a joke, but

Do we really know how many modern diseases are actually caused by modern medicines combined with modern (mal)nutrition?

Hell, I'd love to see a health care plan that gave everybody a "health and nutrition savings account" to be used to buy organic food and gym memberships. My own bet is that disease rates would fall dramatically.

[peace frog]

5. Take these two placebos...

... if still sick next day, DIE.