I'd appreciate your input:

[titoresque]

My son attends a school where most of the parents are religious/conservative. This trickles down via my son being badgered almost daily about his religious beliefs...or the lack thereof. But that's another topic, just thought a little school background would be helpful with the input I'm requesting.

Every month my son's 3rd grade teacher assigns a book report. They begin at the first of the month. The last day of the month that falls on a school day is when the report is due. Every month has a different book report theme. This months theme is "Career Appreciation" the kids are supposed to pick a career they would like to pursue and if they know/or know of a person in that specific field they are encouraged to bring them in this month to speak to the class.

On Friday, just after the class finished writing a "nice" letter to President Bush, a girl in the class presented her Father as part of her career choice. He is a trainer for the military.
Today, another child brought in his Father who is a Colonel.

I've gathered from the questions I've asked my son, that these men were there glorifying the military. The Father on Friday stressed that joining the military is easier than getting a scholarship. The Father today talked to the kids about killing people, "but it was from an airplane".
On one hand I'm REALLY pissed that my child has sat through two pro-war speeches on two consecutive school days and there’s still 3 weeks left of parents to wonder about.

On the other hand I'm happy that these kids are proud of their parents and I realize it's my responsibility as a parent to teach my child about the dangers of what these parents do for a living.
But it's more than that to me. While I do support our troops I do not and have never supported war or killing, or military as a means to peace.

So what would you do? Should I suck it up, even if this means 2,3,4 more pro-war parents in the class speaking to my son this month?
Or do I request that he be taken out of the class during the speeches if this continues.
I'm really torn here and I know that my feelings about this may be clouding my logic. I know that. I don't want to single out my son, and I don't want to make a huge deal of this, but part of me say's "don't keep quiet"

Input appreciated.
Thanks.

[Asgaya Dihi]

1. Tough one

On one hand I'd think you wouldn't want your kids to have to sit through that stuff, but it might depend some on where you live and the price your kid might pay as well. If a big deal is made of it would that just get him picked on or in some way to made to pay worse than if you just sat him down and explained the other side?

There are a lot of moral and logical reasons to take a position on either side, but in the end do what's best for the kid. Don't make them pay for our moral outrage if that's the way it would work out, but if it's no big deal you might pull them if you can. None of us can tell which applies from here as well as you can from there.

[titoresque]

5. Well

We've been at that school for 9 years, and the teachers and a lot of the parents know my partner and I because we spent a lot of time in the news paper, and local news :) Fighting for marriage equality and anti-war protests. So I don't think a request to pull him would be a shocker. I've never made waves though at the school, so I'm not sure what would happen.

[Whoa_Nelly]

2. Is this a private school?

IMO, deal with your family values, keep communication open between you and your son, and don't put him in a position where he has to defend you and/or any action you may take while he's at school. If he learns the values you wnat him to have from you, he will make his own way with his opnions and will be the stronger for it in being able to deal with BS on his developmental level.

It's hard enough being a Third grader, and he has many social school years ahead scholastically and socially. Your support of him and being there for him, listening , sharing..that's all that's really needed.

[titoresque]

7. You're right

I'm pretty hot tempered sometimes, especially when I feel right about something, but this one had me stalled. I think because, keeping quiet this time is really what I need to do...with regards to speaking directly to the teacher.

[napi21]

3. You aren't going to be able to protect your son from hearing about

people in the military. Obviously, he has several classmates who's parents are members, and at least one is an officer. Kids talk among themselves about a lot of things, and I'm sure th military subject will come up...more than once.

If I were you, I would explain my feelings to my son, but I wouldn't put him in an odd position where his classmates grill him about why he was taken out of class.

[titoresque]

10. yep

dammit I hate this.

[uppityperson]

4. Ask Gold Star parent to visit for your son's presentation?

Career as a social activist.

[titoresque]

6. That's what my mom suggested too

although, it's not my son's career choice and I'd be making a statement that he really wouldn't enjoy as much as Steve Nash coming in with him ;)

[uppityperson]

9. Yes, there is that. Let him chose who/what he wants

He will hear military bs, just make sure you can counter it at home and elsewhere in his life. Take him to anti-war protests perhaps, or visit GSparent if possible in area, outside of school I mean.

[MercutioATC]

16. How about going yourself?

Talk about your career in the broader context of what "freedom" really means. I don't know what you do, but it seems to me that you're perfectly capable of handling this yourself...

:)

[Harper_is_Bush]

8. Requesting your son be removed would be awful.

Don't do that to him.

Besides singling him out to his classmates, you're trying to shield him from the realities around him.

It's no unlike a parent thinking about removing their kid from class because a gay theme appeared in a story.

Be interested in these career appreciation things. Ask your boy all about them, and then you're in a position to provide perspective. He respects and listens to you more than anyone. Letting him be exposed and think things through himself is important though. Do more listening than talking.

[titoresque]

11. I was ok on Friday

then today was the same thing, and I just started envisioning every branch of the Military in my son's class this month. Got pissed.
I'm glad I asked here, you all help so much. I do appreciate your insight!

[Harper_is_Bush]

12. You is welcome. Always take a deep breath on these things

and take your time. You done good.

edit: seeing every branch of the military won't harm da boy. Don't worry, he'll work it out.

[hexola]

13. Can you make a case for "recruitment" activity...?

Sounds like early recruitment efforts...especially the part about joining the millitary is easier than scholarship...

Leave My Child Alone!
http://themmob.org/lmca/about.html

Aimed at High Schoolers - but may be of interest...

[titoresque]

14. I have to leave the thread

Thank you all for your wisdom and for calming me. I
knew it was a bad idea to confront the Teacher, I just needed to hear it a few more times.
Have to make dinner now. Thank you again!

Peace. :hi:

[tulsakatz]

15. I see your dilemma....

...but maybe you could ask the teacher if she can also add something to the program which illustrates the anti-war agenda. I would say that career appreciation should not be limited to just those people that the kids know.

I would be troubled if the children were only exposed to the pro-military side without being told about the other side of the argument.

And here's something else to think about............since only about 30% - 35% of Americans currently support the Iraq war, I bet other parents have the same questions as you! Maybe you should talk to some of them and work out a solution by talking to the school as a group. I'm sure your argument would carry more weight if they knew it wasn't coming from just one or two people.

[proud2BlibKansan]

17. I would call the principal

and discuss your reservations with him/her. That is your right as a parent and part of the principal's job is to listen to your concerns.

You also need to remember that the teacher has no control over what these parents are saying to the kids and the parents are NOT teachers and may not know HOW to talk to kids.

But I do think you have every right to express your concern about war and killing being glorified to your child.

Good luck.