not so much a feminist thing but a perspective thing...

[prole_for_peace]

i cut off most of my hair two weeks ago. it was below my shoulder blades and now i have a stack with the longest part to about the middle of my neck. almost every woman that i work with looked at me in shock and then asked "what does your boyfriend think?" i always want to say "its not really about him and kinda none of his biz." but i just say "he likes it" and he does. actually he could care less what my hair looks like as long as i don't gripe about it. he always tells me to cut it and stop complaining about it being hot.

i have always hated it when i hear a woman say "i can't cut it, my boyfriend/husband/whatever likes it long" or "he won't let me cut it." when i ask them "does he consult you when he cuts his hair?" i get looks like i am speaking a foreign language.

and even though these women say men like long hair, every guy at work immediately said "i like your hair" not one shocked look or question why i would cut so much off.

i eventually want to get back to a 1 to 1.5" pixie cut. that will really freak them out.

[WildClarySage]

1. My husband doesn't care what my hair looks like,

just so long as I have some!

I agree, it goes back to that women as property thing. We have to have the man's approval before we lil' wimmenfolks can do anything.

Screw that noise. I'll wear my hair the way I like it, and he can do the same thing with his.

[BlueIris]

2. It's strange how so many women don't seem to question how many minute

details of their lives they allow to be controlled by men. Right down to their hair length/style. And do you think any of them ever question how bizarre/sick/wrong that is, in and of itself?

And what about what their boyfriends'/husbands' implied requirements for hair care suggest about how the husbands view them, as well as others? No "short" hair, right? No "mannish" haircuts? Because women aren't allowed to "look like men," even a little? And why would that be? Why is that unattractive and therefore not allowed? Because it strays too far from the image of the Lead Female Porn Star to make the boy-husband's "I'm Fucking A Porn Queen" fantasy feasible? Or because it's simply too "gay"?

The kind of male who honestly thinks his significant other needs his approval to change her hair, and then can only change it in accordance with his specifications, is wrapped up in so many different kinds of anti-female sexism and additional prejudices that it sickens my mind to try to identify them all. The women who don't even know to question whether their "partners" have any right to control them that way aren't just ignorant of feminism or complacent about pursuing their own equality—they're in denial. About the kind of monsters they're sleeping with.

[Katherine Brengle]

3. I think you should say what you said to us next time someone says that to you --

maybe it will change them a little bit.

I don't consult my husband when I cut/color/whatever my hair and he doesn't consult me.

[prole_for_peace]

5. when a woman tells me the equivilent of "he won't let me cut it"

i do say that if my bf ever told me not to cut my hair i would shave my damn head just to show him it isn't about him. and i probably would too.

[Katherine Brengle]

6. I would too.

[wicket]

7. Ooooooo, I like that response, I'll have the remember that one

:thumbsup: Thanks!

[ismnotwasm]

4. I had long hair for a very long time

I've had it short as well, but long for most of my life. Now it's a little past shoulder length and about to get a lot shorter. My husband likes it long. Which is nice, but doesn't factor in my hair style decisions. HE on the other hand has long hair he keeps in a ponytail, and certainly doesn't listen to any of my style advice.

Anyway, you go for it. In my opinion, far too many women spend far too much negative energy (for lack of a better term) on hair. Hair has always been a great deal of fun for me.

[raccoon]

8. I wouldn't put up with a boyfriend/husband who tried to tell me how to wear my hair.

This "he won't let me cut it." stuff makes me want to :puke:

[Name removed]

9. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Katherine Brengle]

10. That language is not wanted here.

I don't care if you replace a couple of letters with asterisks, it's still unacceptable in this forum.

[Scout]

13. that's your opinion, and you are welcome to it....

some women ARE what i called them ...


edit to add: they are lacking the ovaries to stand up for themselves and be real women...

[noamnety]

11. Please don't use women, or their bodies

as metaphors for negative values. This is our one place that is supposed to be free of that.

[MountainLaurel]

12. That was a first sign of trouble for me once

My BF of a few months kept telling me about how I should keep my hair blonde (my natural color, but at the time I was experimenting with reds) and grow it long. It turned out to be the first of many attempts to control me in a relationship that was very poisonous.