Please vote in
http://www.boston.com/yourlife/weddings/proposal_permission">the poll as well. It's currently pretty barthworthy.
Do you approve of the practice of a man asking a woman's father for permission to marry?
Yes, I think a man should ask permission.
51.3%
It depends on the couple.
28.5%
No, I don't think a man should ask permission.
20.2%
Total votes: 193
Boston.com's surveys are not scientifically valid. They reflect the opinions of only those who vote.
Asking for her hand - after asking permissionBefore Bob Hunt dropped to bended knee on the famed Cliff Walk in Newport, R.I., and asked his high school sweetheart to marry him, he’d taken her father to dinner at a Chili’s restaurant and sought his permission.
‘‘Because I have such a great relationship with her family,’’ Hunt says, ‘‘it makes it that much more important that I ask for permission.’’
Reviving a tradition that seemingly went the way of the flapper and Prohibition, young men like Hunt these days are talking to their intendeds’ parents before popping the question. While there are no numbers to track the trend, call a bridal store or wedding venue or otherwise inquire among the betrothed and the newlywed and their parents and it is easy to find examples. Jenna Bush’s fiancé, Henry Hager, reportedly had a private tête-à-tête with her father, the president, before he proposed one summer morning at sunrise atop Cadillac Mountain in Maine. What these young men embrace as a gesture of courtesy and respect has roots in an era when women had few rights and little opportunity.
‘‘It was a fairly common practice based on the notion of making alliances between families and passing the daughter who was legally the property of the father onto the husband,’’ says Temple University historian Beth Bailey. ‘‘What we’re seeing right now is an odd combination of young people with progressive sentiments and a real desire for conventional gender roles and arrangements’’
Hunt, a 25-year-old salesman from Attleboro, has long known that Stefanie Brennock, whose parents are divorced, expected that anyone who wanted to marry her would talk to them first. ‘‘It’s just the parents handing over the daughter to a new guy and taking care of me,’’ says Brennock, 24, an assistant manager at a bridal store.
The evening before he took Brennock to Newport, Hunt dined with her father. ‘‘It was an out-of-body experience. My soul was looking down at the table,’’ Hunt says. ‘‘I’d prepared what I wanted to say. But looking back I don’t remember saying it. It just started coming out.’’ Later that night, Hunt shared the news with Brennock’s mother.
:puke: :puke:
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