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In love so bad it's driving me insane

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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-05 03:06 AM
Original message
In love so bad it's driving me insane
Poetry Student Attempting an Extended Metaphor

My love is a suicide.
I’m dying to get next to you.

I’m slitting my wrist
to use the blood
to write you this poem.

I’d sooner jump off
a tall building than imagine
going on without you.

I’d drop a plugged-in toaster
in my bath water
if it meant that I’d get
to spend an eternity with you.

I’d jump in front of a train
if it meant that
for just one time
I could know you
in that special way.

I’d hang myself
for just one chance
to hear you
murmur my voice
lovingly in the night.

I’d shoot myself
for just one caress
of my cheek
in the morning.

I love you.
Won’t you make life easier
and stay with me?

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ALago1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-05 08:18 AM
Response to Original message
1. I could feel your tortured emotions...nicely done!
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pinerow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-05 08:23 AM
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2. Outstanding...

although I looked at the (imo) humorous angle...I actually Laughed out loud..."I'd slit my wrist to use the blood to write this poem"...dang...I wish I had said that...
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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-06-05 11:25 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. Thank you
Yeah, just from the title you know you're going to get something that's kind of goofy. That was the last poem that I wrote for my poetry class and by then I was starting to get fed up with all the assignments to write in a particular way. Sonnets, sestinas, imagery, extended metaphors. I just wanted to write what I wanted to with no particular pressure to conform to a certain form of poetry. The result is this over the top love poem.
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