I find myself getting angry at "normal" people...

[BiggJawn]

I've tried to self-talk myself into a "New, HEALTHY Lifestyle" till I'm blue in the brain, but when I see somebody eating donuts, or waddling behind their grocery cart full of pop and pork rinds I just wanna rip their normal fucking heads off.

Meal plans suck. I often don't know what I want to eat until I see it, much less plan out so many carbs, so many fats, etc. Thus, I eat the same dull bland shit over and over and over...

I like cycling. I'd rather ride my bike than fuck (lucky for me...) as a matter of fact, but time, weather, and 'tood' sometime prevent me from getting out there. Don't wanna be out there with assholes in cars when I'm in a "rip off your head and shit down your NECK" mood...

"Normal" people don't have to worry about this shit. They only have to worry about not catching Herpes and who's gonna get kicked off the island next week...Eat all they want, not have to poke holes in themselves, don't have to feel like a failure because they had a piece of cheesecake on the spur of the moment...Bastards. I wish they'd all get diabetes so they can see why I'm in such a shitty mood all the time...

[blondeatlast]

1. Do I ever feel your anger!

What's even FAR worse is when they start "babysitting" YOUR diet.

I actually had lunch with a colleague from work once who started lecturing me about Atkins--all the while stuffing lasagna in her mouth.

I literally couldn't hide my anger--a friend suggested we go to the ladies, apologized up and down, and said she'd arrange for an early departure from the restaurant. Five minutes after we sat down--said friend "got a call" from her kid's day care, and out we went--and not a single moment too soon. I was ready to explode!

Sadly, I GUARANTEE it's going to happen again and again. It's so DAMN inconsiderate, too; it just goes against the etiquette I learned, regardless of the dietary situation.

I have no answers for you, but I've been right where you are far too often (my dx was at seven).

Just hope this one never happens:

"Why, I made it ESPECIALLY FOR YOU!"

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! :mad:

[BiggJawn]

2. Oh, you mean the tasteless "Fake Cake" made with sweetner or Stevia?

"Why, I made it ESPECIALLY FOR YOU!"

Thank Random Chance anyone who would cook me anything realizes that there's a whole new way of feeding Diabetics since the days of the "Cooking for Diabetics with SWEET N' LOW"....I don't care what people eat in front of me. I'm the one with the fucked-up metabolism, not them.

I'm just tired of it. Can you imagine a worse Hell than to be a Diabetic who used to fix his emotional failures with a trip to the kitchen?

And my blood pressure's no good, either.Thanks to our "Compassionate Conservatives" in the GOP, I'm almost perpetually in a state of pissed-offeed-ness, and that doesn't help. then I realize that the shit in the food that made me fat and sick was pushed uder the door of the FDA by ReTHUGs lining their pockets and I get mad all over again...(Fuck you, Rumsfeld and your fucking "Nutrasweet")


shit, I need a drink...Oh, wait...."Empty Calories"!

[blondeatlast]

3. Let it out here; that BP needs a release, guy.

It infuriates me--and that whole notion of "cheating," too.

Are they cheating themselves by eating their McD's fries? Yes, but it's their damn business, just like it's mine.

Kvetch on, big guy, I don't mind and I know what it's like for you. I hope it offers some release, too.

It's one of the biggest misconceptions about diabetes, too--that we have to watch every GD bite that goes into our mouths--any little indulgence is "cheating"--ASSHOLES, ASSHOLES, ASSHOLES.

I attribute to the same bizarre dementia that seems to have infected the entire nation--"my life isn't interesting enough, so I'll fuck up yours," is the best way I can put it.

This has been a particular sore spot for me since time immemorial. I submitted an essay (I'm a published writer) to several diabetes mags on just this subject, but no one picked it up. I attributed it to the fact that they want to perpetuate the myth that that errant Hershey's Kiss you enjoyed yesterday is going to kill you. I don't understand the metality, but it's damn pervasive.

Hang in there--and enjoy some empty damn calories. Or two, Or even a six-pack. I'm goann make a bloody Mary myself, dammit! :toast:

[CBHagman]

34. You've finally answered one of my most pressing questions.

"'My life isn't interesting enough, so I'll fuck up yours,' is the best way I can put it."

I wondered why they did it. Thank you! :rofl:

[mr blur]

4. Yep, I sympathise

I don't have diabetes, I have MS, but the normals (or Walky-Talkies, as I call them) are always coming up with suggestions as to how to deal with something about which they haven't a clue. "Would it help if you didn't smoke?", they ask, puffing away on their 40 a day. No it fucking wouldn't, or I wouldn't do it!

[blondeatlast]

5. I've often thought that those with other diseases felt the same sting of

hideously ignorant interference. It's somehow somewhat reassuring to know that it goes far beyond food.

What they're thinking, IMHO:

"See? Now that I'm here, with my stupid advice and extraordinary lack of even the most basic medical knowledge, you can be CURED!"

:mad: :mad: :mad:

[BiggJawn]

7. People know better than to play "Food Cop" with me.

"Should you be eating that with your diabetes?"

"Should YOU be eating THAT with your FAT MOUTH???"

shuts 'em up quick...

Most the clueless bastards probably think that when BB King pokes his arm with his One-Touch, he pushes a button that magically controls his blood sugar somehow...

[SiouxJ]

10. I get this "do you need to rest?" crap from this one friend of mine

and it drives me nuts! Just because I have MS, she thinks I always need to be sleeping I guess. If I even mention that I'm tired she thinks it's because of my MS when it's simply for the same reasons she may feel tired - lack of sleep; partying too much; whatever. I get so sick of her saying "if you feel up to it." I probably feel way more up to most things than she does as she's pretty anorexic and therefore doesn't have much energy. It hurts me to look at her sometimes because she looks so exhausted all the time. She's like 12 years older than me and I'm sure I'm in as good or better shape than her but she has this pitying, superior attitude toward me that makes me so angry. She also tells me she doesn't like the fact that I'm on my meds and that I should talk to a "friend" of hers who can treat me with holistic meds that would be better. No matter how many times I tell her I've tried it all and that I can't risk not being on my meds, it doesn't sink in. I wish she would worry about her own poor health instead of being so concerned with mine.

Sometimes I wish I never told her of my MS as she'd never have a clue if I hadn't.

Rant over - sorry but you guys struck a nerve.

[ProfessorGAC]

12. Hmmmm! Sleeping ALL The Time Because I Have MS!

I think i'd like that! Golf. Sleep. Play piano. Sleep. Play Guitar. Sleep. Take dog out. Sleep. Eat. Sleep.

Hey, Sioux, i think you might be onto something here.
The Professor

[fudge stripe cookays]

14. You're a bad influence, professor.

Only with me it'd be....Surf internet looking for more genealogy clues. Sleep. Read background social history information. Sleep. Write. Snuggle dog. Sleep. Write more.

I've started working on our Smith family history (tracing the descendancy of all the 10 original children, including my great great grandfather), and it has become the driving focus of my life.

Also trying to plan a family reunion for said family in 2007. Which involves calling a lot of possible scattered cousins.

Work has become a major distraction! But I need the money to do more genealogy. Oi.

FSC

[ProfessorGAC]

15. Oh, Work'll Do That

Stupid money!
The Professor

[blondeatlast]

16. The "holistic" med crowd is another aggravation altogether.

Good God, I've injected insulin since age SEVEN; but I've known people who swear they can get me off of insulin for good.

I just have to tell them that I'm too old to change my ways now, and I justt refilled my scrip anyway...

[REP]

17. And the "Homeopathic" Crowd

Homeopathy is harmless enough for healthy people, and probably wouldn't do me any harm, but it sure as hell wouldn't do any good, either. Plus, it's more fun just to set fire to money than buy homeopatic "dilutions."

[SiouxJ]

18. I don't think they realize how serious it is

our conditions I mean. The friend that wants me to go off my meds never saw me at my worst. I try to explain to her that it was so bad that I had thoughts of suicide for the only time ever in my life. Now that I'm fully recovered (that was 5 years ago), I would never consider going off my meds as I can't even think about the chance of going through something like that again. I had vertigo so bad that I was completely incapacitated. I couldn't do anything! Every time I moved my head the room would spin and I would get nauseous. I had to basically just sit and stare straight ahead. I've explained this over and over but she just doesn't get it. She's all worried about the long term complications I may suffer eventually from the meds but I've told her that with me it doesn't matter. I have quality of life now so I really could care less if they may someday shorten my life. Honestly, I really could care less at this point because I FEEL GREAT RIGHT NOW! Until they take a walk in our shoes, I don't think they'll ever understand why we can't go on their holistic whims when we have meds that keep our conditions in check.

[blondeatlast]

19. Don't I know it! How on earth did I survive diabetes for 39 years without

that magic black mushroom?! I've been told by FRIENDS that I should just stop the insulin and take this magic mushroom tea. Righty-o; give up the liquid of my life and resort to something I have to go to a yerberia to buy? Uh--NOOO-OOO. :mad:

So what if the remedy may kill me? Without it, I'm CERTAIN to die anyway, so if it's all the same to you untrained, unlicensed snake-oil salesman, some of whom are FRIENDS, I'll take my chances with the snake-oil made in sanitary conditions by licensed pharnmacists and chemists.

[SiouxJ]

20. Agreed. And I want to be clear that I don't discount alternative medicine

entirely. There are some alternative things that have helped me, like acupuncture and ginkgo, but they help with some of the symptoms, not keeping the disease in check. I can risk trying those things for symptom control, but not control of the disease itself.

[blondeatlast]

21. True, in my anger at that I do tend to forget things I have done, recommen

by my docs, that can help.

[ProfessorGAC]

22. And, Besides, Where Is Her Data. . .

. . .that supports any contention that interferon decreases lifespans? "Oh, but what about the long term effects?" What about that everyone has just barely less interferon in their system than those of us who inject one of the ABC's. If 10 parts per billion is the difference between normal and shortened life spans, than medical science is utterly clueless about biology. I would suggest the opposite. That since the difference is so small, there really is very low probability that systemic side-effects are a problem.

Add to that, that waddling around, holding on to things, looking for help just to use the bathroom, is NOT a preferable way to live, just because one might get an extra 10 months at the back end.

Just ignorance, i guess.
The Professor

[SiouxJ]

23. Thanks for the additional info Professor

I wasn't aware of the interferon percentages that naturally occur in the body. I never looked into it because at the time of my dx, I was just glad we live in an age when there are treatments that work for this disease. I have more ammo for my argument now if I need it, though she should just accept my decision based on what I've told her already. Some people just can't be convinced until they are faced with something like this themselves.

[REP]

6. "Should You Be Drinking Coffee When Your Kidneys Are Failing?"

I get that one a lot. People have some fucking strange ideas about what diabetics can eat (and I am diabetic, but a well-controlled one with a "normal" HbA1c) and absolutely no clue about what a renal restriction looks like. Even cutting them some slack - the old ideas about low-protein diets have pretty much been disproven recently, but not everyone, even all doctors, are up to speed on that yet - why on earth would coffee be restricted? (As a matter of fact, it's on the "free" list, meaning "unlimited quantities.") On top of all that, due to Crohn's in the small intestine, I do low residue. Between the renal and low residue, vegetables have to be cooked within an inch of their lives (and limited); same with most fruit. So when I'm being "bad" it isn't when I'm having a cookie - it's when I'm eating a raw salad!

[blondeatlast]

8. I'd like to think that shuts the ignorant goons up--but I'm pretty sure

I know better.

My mom is in a similar situation regarding the renal, so I know what of you speak to some degree.

She's 82 and has had a very good life, so if she goes off her prescribed diet, I say not a word. It's her life, it's your life--enjoy what you have (balanced of course against your own self-preservation concerns!) Unfortunately, I have a sister who hounds her mercilessly about staying strictly on her diet.

My mom's an adult; she understands perfectly what the ramifications of not following her diet are, and I leave her alone about it.

I think that is what is so aggravating about the food cops--the notion that we don't understand the consequences of our choices. I know perfectly well what that hamburger/ice cream/bloody Mary is going to do to me.

[REP]

9. I Don't Explain - I Ask Where They Got Their Medical Degree!

Since I no longer work, my exposure to self-proclaimed medical experts has diminished considerably (I used to also hear, "If you're so sick, why are you still working?"). My real-life acquaintances are either smarter, don't know I'm sick, or are dealing with qa chronic illness themselves. Whew!

[fudge stripe cookays]

11. I've been feeling a lot of this lately, and I'm only newly diagnosed.

I'm also an MSer, and not a diabetic, but I do get frustrated now at people who take their health for granted.

And I know all about it, because I used to be just like them. I didn't know squat about MS other than that "you have good days and bad days," and that people who had it had a hard time walking and functioning in certain ways.

Now I know so much about it, and I get annoyed at friends who try to tell me to get a second opinion, because "that's probably not what it is at all. You're overreacting. It'll turn out to be something completely minor."

(Hellllooo....I have an MRI with lesions all over it. My doctor is not an idiot. I have MS. Deal with it. I am.)

What pisses me off are the ones who tell me I don't look sick. Do I need to begin limping everywhere so you believe me?

:eyes:
Preach on, BiggJawn. Healthy people can be very insensitive.
FSC

[REP]

13. The "Don't Look Sick" Thing

Unless you know exactly what to look for, I "don't look sick." My experience with being told I "don't look sick" is pretty much always it's either meant as a) "Goldbricker!" or b) meant kindly, like the old SNL "you look maaaahvelous!" skit.

With me, I'm nephrotic, which does cause some unpleasant cosmestic issues - I have pretty bad edema around my eyes and my hair is falling out (I started out with a *lot* of hair, so it's not terribly noticeable to others ... I don't think), and when the people who know and love me tell me I'm looking well, I like it (especially since they also tell me when I look like hell).

As for the others ... I figure the best way to piss them off is to assume they mean it well, and reply with a sincere and hearty, "Thank you!" I don't owe them an explanation, and calling them on their bullshit just validates it (and wastes time). Your mileage may vary, but give it a try.

[mr blur]

24. Re. not "looking sick"

I live in England. Because my diagnosis meant that I had to stop my business about 7 years ago my plans for buying a new home with my partner, her children and my son fell through. The local council were brilliant at giving us a small house within a week of asking for help as I could no longer pay the rent or get a mortgage. The house is a bungalow, purpose built for people with disabilities. We get Income Support benefit from the local authority and I get a Disabled Living Allowance. Plus, because of the National Health System, all hospital treatment is free and any doctor's prescription is only about £6 ($10?) to fill, and free if you're getting a benefit.

Anyway, we get by - not living in luxury, but OK. A couple of summers ago I was out in the garden with my wife and we were just planting a couple of things (I was able to do more stuff then). One of our neighbours started telling people I shouldn't be living in the "disabled house" because I didn't look sick. She then contacted the council and accused me of fraud because she'd seen me out in the garden so I was obviously only pretending to be ill in order to get a "free" house. Someone who looked sick, you see, wouldn't be able to go out in the garden and plant a couple of flowers. We had a visit from an agent at which we virtually had to prove we have no income.

So my wife and kids and I were being accused of fraud because some moron thinks she knows that she can tell how sick people are by looking at them. I felt like hammering on her door and shouting, "Hey, you should see me at three in the morning when I'm in tears from the leg cramps and desperate to make it to the bathroom before I PISS MYSELF, you dumb fucker!" I didn't.

She's sicker than I am, anyway.

[ProfessorGAC]

26. I Can Empathize, Blur

The leg cramps in the middle of the night is a real drag. First thing in the morning and hobbling to get a cup of coffee, having to help my left leg out of the car with my hands when i first get to work. The searing pain of an intense burning sensation about 350 days per year. But i don't look sick!
The Professor

[SiouxJ]

27. That's horrible

I hate these ignorant morons who think it's their job to stick their nose into everything. I've actually had arguments with people over handicapped parking. I'll be with a friend and we'll see someone use one of these spaces and then get out and walk into the store. The friend will make a rude comment about them obviously not being handicapped and I have to go into the whole explanation of "silent symptoms." I have a good understanding of such things as none of my symptoms were ever visible to anyone but me. Even something like severe nausea (I had that, coupled with vertigo and double vision) can make it difficult to walk more than a few feet to get into a store. While it's true that some people are just lazy and taking advantage of a relatives' handicapped plate, you cannot assume that! Some people may be weak or in pain or could have a million other things that you can't see. It's ignorant and rude to chastise someone you know nothing about.

[ProfessorGAC]

28. However, Sioux. . .

. . .as one who qualifies for that sticker, and will not use it, i have the same disdain as your friend.

My perspective is, if i can make the walk, so can they!

I'm always worried that i'll take that space, just because my legs are burning more than normal, then i'll come out and a wheelchair van will be looking for a place to park. That'd be more guilt than i could handle.

But i know your feeling on this: A friend of ours has a sister with MS. She's had since her early 20's. One day she goes to the store, parks in the HC spot, and gets out. At the time, she still had some spryness and was a cutie. So, a hot blond gets out of a Camero with T-tops, and gets dirty looks. She gets to the sidewalk and felt the need to bend down, pull up a pantleg and adjust one of her braces. It didn't need to be adjusted, but at least that way the people saw she had braces on her legs.

So, i see both sides of it.
The Professor

[SiouxJ]

29. Oh, of course. Nothing infuriates me more than someone who uses it when

they don't need it. There are always going to be abuses but you just can't assume that because someone can walk that they shouldn't use the plate! There are other situations that are equally debilitating, that you just can't see. I learned this the hard way. During my first flare, I pleaded with a security guard to let me walk through a gated golf community instead of walking completely around the block (long story about how I ended up in this situation) to get to a house I had rented while I was on a business trip. I was so dizzy and nauseous and he just looked at me and said, "you look fine to me," and didn't let me go through. This was in Las Vegas in 100+ heat. That walk just about killed me. I'm trying to keep out of traffic with double vision and everything spinning. Ever since then I don't assume that just because someone looks like they don't need the handicapped spot (because they can walk) doesn't mean it is so. I could have been killed on that walk so if I had had some sort of handicap shortcut pass for that idiot guard, I would have used it, even though I could walk.

Some people have the strength to walk into the store but barely make it out and if they had to walk a mile back and forth, they might not make it. You say, "My perspective is, if i can make the walk, so can they!" With respect Professor, how do YOU know how far THEY can make it? You know your limitations and I assume they know theirs as well. Why should they take a chance on falling if they don't have to? Maybe they don't want to take a chance on hurting themselves so they just don't. It's up to you if you want to take that chance but I don't think others should have to if they qualify for the plate. I don't blame them one bit. Your position on the matter (qualifying but not using it) is admirable but I really don't blame others who could make it but choose not to because of the discomfort and or possibility of further injury.

As this thread proves, looks can be soooo deceiving. I give people the benefit of the doubt unless they are doing cartwheels on the way in.

Oh, and in my late teens and early 20's I was a blond with a t-bar camaro too; what a coincidence. ;-)

[ProfessorGAC]

25. I Get That All The Time

Especially on the golf course. I shoot in the mid-70's, so people think it's weird that i have MS and can still play golf. I think the impression most people have of MS is that of the wheelchair. But, as i can attest, after nearly 11 years, it just ain't so.
The Professor

[u4ic]

30. It's frustrating being told you don't look sick

by people...but how about by your provincial leader?

http://www.cbc.ca/story/canada/national/2004/10/28/aish041028.html

'Severely normal' people don't want to talk about AISH: Klein
Last Updated Fri, 29 Oct 2004 09:43:03 EDT
CBC News

GRANDE PRAIRIE, ALBERTA - Alberta Premier Ralph Klein added fuel to the furor created by his remarks over the province's program for the severely disabled, saying "severely normal" people don't want to talk about it.

Thursday afternoon at a campaign stop in Grande Prairie, a reporter tried to get Klein to clarify his earlier comments that two women "yipping" at him about their $850-a-month funding from the Assured Income for the Severely Handicapped (AISH) program didn't look disabled.

He didn't answer, but then addressed the issue in his speech.

"I know the CBC wants me to talk about AISH. I'm sure none of you want to talk to me about AISH, do you? No, because you're normal," Klein said. "Severely normal."


Great when this jerk determines how much your disability cheque is. :grr:

[ProfessorGAC]

31. But, You Don't Write Like You're Sick!

I am SOOOOOO Funny, ain't i?
The Professor

[fudge stripe cookays]

32. Fucker.

Somebody remind me again why I want to move to Alberta?

Oh yeah...it's not HERE.
FSC

[CBHagman]

33. A friend at work said to me last week...

...in response to my saying I'd like to be in the White House press corps, asking Scott McClellan questions, "You'd be having your second heart attack." I was so taken aback that I asked him to repeat himself, and he did, and in a slightly nasty tone.

I can't believe some people act as though I "gave" myself a heart attack, that it's because of my emotions that that plaque broke off and created a blockage. In fact, I started limiting who I talked to about my health due to the fact that I felt so judged and scrutinized.

Smokers and obese people have made the kind of obtuse comments we all dread.

And my friend at work? He's not exactly Mr. Serenity, either. He beats up on his computer so harshly that it shakes my desk. I've mentioned it to him, but he brushes me off.

My supervisor at work says things like "All cancer is terminal" :eyes: and "Don't have a heart attack." But she's basically the hindquarters of a horse (Did I mention she's right-wing?), and I expect insensitive comments from her.

Why do people DO this stuff?

On edit: In case you're wondering, I'm looking for a new job, and I'm rethinking the friends bit, too! :-)