Panic attack/Heart attack Panic attack/Heart attack. How do it know?

[onecent]

I was taken to the hospital in an ambulance yesterday..another panic attack.

BP 194/102, palpitations, sweating, pain in sternum area between breasts (never had that pain before)...dizziness, almost out of body experience - so strange.

Doctors very nice...very understanding (had a few that laughed at panic attacks before)..but panic attacks ARE VERY VERY VERY SCAREY..and you cannot tell the difference. I'm usually okay if I have someone here with me that can talk me through the breathing and relaxing, but my husband passed away in July, the meds have been increased since then because I had a history of panic attacks. I personally think the meds are part of the problem. Yet, not really.

I have many neighbors and friends who are tuned into my problems, but no one was home yesterday and I became very scared when i knew I was alone and couldn't contact a neighbor so I dialed 911. I was afraid I would pass out and no one would find me for hours.

And now, a panick attack hit me again. I don't want any more drugs. I feel like the drugs are the reason I'm not greiving (crying more). Instead of crying I am so medicated...that my grief comes out by way of extremely high blood pressure readings.

I'm tired of some people thinking I'm a hypochondriac....I wish I could just stop all meds and feel what it is I'm really feeling...but I know enough about drugs to realize you can't just stop blood pressure meds. Toprol, altace, Zoloft...and Xanax when I feel it comin' on. Xanax does absolutely nothing for me but make me sleepy. But they tell me to take 3 a day. I rarely take one.

I have two sons who are chiropractors and practice homeopathic type stuff...they don't live near me, but their beliefs about alot of this stuff came from me...and here I am all of a sudden taking more drugs than I care to write about.

I feel trapped by the system. Then again, I feel I need the system. So which is it?

I consider myself an intelligent person. I read alot, I peruse the internet on all matters that interest me, I watch out for false information.

I understand life. I understand death. I understand grief. But I don't understand panic attacks.
I have no control, I feel unsafe. My husband's death has left a void that is tangible. I never knew anyone could be so lonely. This ISN'T JUST about lonely. There's NO word to describe it.

I'm going to beat this..and I will win. But how do some people get past the really hard work of grief. The ones who bury children. Or the ones who feel they caused another's death...(possibly even one of their own children or loved ones).

I maybe should have posted this in the bereavement...sometimes I don't know where it should be posted.
Sometimes I just wonder. Christmas is coming. We have 15 grandchildren together, and 10 of them (all his) live within 30 miles of me. They are my family for 22 years, but when I see all the gifts I have purchased I realized I don't have him to talk to --- to tell of my neat purchases, or good sale prices, or something I KNOW a grandchild is going to love.

He won't be licking the pan of the white cake I bake, or asking for another Miller Lite while he is watching the Chiefs lose another game.

I'm rambling now...just wish I understood how I could control and handle panic attacks with a clearer mind....and a knowing that a panic attack is not deadly...and I will get through it. It is such a misunderstood diagnosis...I found that out very early on.

Thanks for listening....I love DU...there are so many good forums here. I have temporarily lost my drive for politics, but find DU to have everything anyone needs.

Thanks for being here.

[sandnsea]

1. Oh my goodness,

:hug:

I don't have anything to say really, but I know what you are going through is normal. I had an old family friend visit a month or so ago. My parents' friend actually, my parents have passed. Anyway, I've known this friend since I was 4, all my life. His wife has Alzheimer's and it's just breaking his heart. He says a lot of the things you've said. He won't spend the night at our house because he gets up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep because he misses his wife so much. They've been married over 50 years. My uncles and aunt have lost all their spouses too. They lean on each other. My aunt hasn't touched a thing of her husband's, she just can't bear to do it. Her house is exactly the way it was when he passed and that was at least ten years ago. I think grieving takes a lot longer than our culture gives it.

Anyway, the only thing I might recommend is Effexor. I've heard it's really good for panic disorder. I've also read that people can get stuck in the bargaining stage of grief, where you think if you act a certain way it will make up for some thing or other that you think caused a death, or will prevent other deaths, that kind of thing. Maybe there is a bereavement group in your town. That sort of thing isn't easy to do, but it usually helps quite a bit.

I am so sorry for your loss and hope you find some comfort soon.

[onecent]

2. Thank you so much.

I have an appointment with my Dr. Monday, and I also checked with my insurance and I have coverage for visits to a psychologist or psychiatrist.

I could handle visits to someone like that...but only if we clicked in the first meeting.

I have much to learn about grief, but I want to get some of these drugs reduced so I can feel again. I'm pretty numb much of the time...so there seem so few highs...and many more mellow toned down lows. Life hasn't never been that way for me before.

[Warpy]

3. Just because you have a panic disorder doesn't mean

you can't also have heart disease.

Look carefully at your risk factors: in order of importance they are family history, smoking history, diabetes, stimulant recreational drug use, obesity, high serum lipids, activity intolerance, and advanced age. Look at them dispassionately and really rate your chances it's a heart attack and not a garden variety panic attack that is convincing you you're at death's door.

My guess is that they took it seriously enough at the hospital to check your cardiac enzymes. These are released as soon as heart muscle is damaged in a heart attack, and can rule it out completely. Generally speaking, chest pressure (not pain much of the time), sweating, and nausea are the accompanying classical symptoms. Some people, especially diabetics, have no symptoms. Other people might present with jaw pain, arm pain or back pain.

It's good you've got mental health coverage now. The doc, even if you don't click, will be a great source of information you need on how to tell the difference and when to call the ambulance should you present with the full complement of symptoms.

Good luck.

[hyphenate]

4. Blood pressure medications

come in many different forms--some of them are more potent against stubborn HBP than others. If the one you're on is making you feel heavy, listless, fatigued or other some effect, you might want to brush up on the class your med is in, and research other drugs in the same category. For an example, I was taking propranolol in the form of Inderal LA for years. After my second heart attack, the cardiologist prescribed a different drug, Ternormin (atenolol) which is a different beta blocker. It made me feel like I was breathing underwater--heavy, having to breathe way too hard after a simple walk, etc. About two years later, I was started on Lopressor, yet another beta blocker, and it was on the opposite side: still having high pulse, HBP, etc. I protested when I was prescribed both, but neither of the doctors involved would listen to me. Finally, when I got back to home in Massachusetts, I got a doctor to listen to me and was put back on the propranolol which just about perfectly works--no high pulse, my BP is now actually low (96/54 the last time it was taken in the doctor's office). So press on with your doctor to get what you need that fits your situation.

As for the panic attacks, having been on the other side of that (I drove myself to ER and was told I was having a panic attack when I actually DID have a heart attack), I know that it's frustrating. As you are already aware of some holistic types of treatment, have you tried guided meditation? Meditation might help you in the beginning of a panic attack--give you time to calm down and relax, I'm not saying it's what everyone should try, but it's worth giving it a try.

When I had my first heart attack, I had already been diagnosed with heart disease, and had had an angioplasty with two stents. I knew it was a heart attack, because I had taken 3 nitroglycerin tablets and was still having massive pain. I was only 43 when it happened, so some people assumed I was a hypochondriac and was having a panic attack. Later that year, I had massive pain again, and taken 15-20 nitroglycerin tablets over the course of the evening. I went to the ER, given a prescription for Ativan and sent home. A week later, I was in the hospital after being told I had had a second heart attack. What I'm trying to say is that you and you alone can tell what's going on inside of you. You just need to show you're knowledgeable about your health, and if a doctor tries to stonewall you, you need to call him or her out on it. You need to keep slamming home the point that you are not a child and don't need to be treated like one. Eventually, you will find a doctor who will be sympathetic and listen, not just an idiot staring at a wall for 15 minutes while you tell him or her how you feel.

As far as grief is concerned, have you thought about a grief support group? There are many people out there going through the same thing you're going through, and some of them might be able to reassure you of that. Google to see if there is a group close to you, and take the initial move of going to one to see if it meets your needs. Every little bit will help.

BTW, here is one website I found on meditation which you might be interested in. Good luck, and let us know what happens.

http://www.selfhealingexpressions.com/meditate.shtml

[flamingyouth]

5. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.

I feel for you. You're going through so much and the holidays are very hard when you're grieving. It's just awful, I think, but they will be over soon. I've suffered from anxiety and panic for years (since I was a child, really) and it can be debilitating.

As for the Xanax, has your doctor considered the extended release formula? I've taken that and found that it makes me less tired overall and gives a more balanced dosage throughout the day than taking three tablets. You might want to ask if that's an option for you.

I agree with the comments upthread about checking on your BP meds, etc.

One last little thing: there's a good book called "Master Your Anxiety and Panic." It has been the most helpful book for me. You can get it at Barnes & Noble: http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9780195311358&itm=1

Good luck - I'm thinking of you. :hug:

[LynzM]

6. Oh, onecent, I'm so sorry...

It does sound like you're at a point where the drugs might be making things more out of whack than helping. I've been there, with panic attacks, and you can get in a bad cycle of coming off the drugs and then having PAs from the coming down, and it's awful. It does feel like you might die, I know, and it's terrible... :hug: I wish I could come sit with you and give you some tea and a hug and lend you an ear.

Do you have a counselor who specializes in grief counseling? It sounds like you really need some support and someone to help you go through the grieving process in a healthy way that doesn't involve medicating yourself into numbness. You're right that you do have to process the pain and grief, or else it will come back to haunt you, like these PAs.

I know how awful PAs are, I really do, been there and hated it as much as you do. I'm slowly working to a point where I'm doing ok, these days. Please PM me if you want to and I will give you my phone number so you can call me. I know it's not the same as having someone there in person, but it'd be more personal than having to go to a cold hospital and deal with people who don't know your story or what you're going through. :hug:

I'm so sorry for your loss and your pain, onecent. I cannot imagine the pain of losing your spouse, and I think you need to give yourself some credit for getting through the days. I'm sure the little things hurt more than I can imagine, all the things you mention that you miss about him. If you need to lie down and cry on your kitchen floor when you make that cake, that's ok. Our culture is so bad about allowing people to grieve, and we need to grieve, to process.

Much love and many hugs to you... :hug:

[Eurobabe]

7. Been there, it sucks

Have you had your thyroid tested BTW? Just to let you know, either being hypo (not enough) or hyper (too much) thyroid can cause panic attacks. This is what happened to me in 2004. I was on too much thyroid medication and under alot of stress and something just snapped in my body. My heart started racing and I thought I was having a heart attack. Called 911 and my best friend, they took me to the hospital by ambulance (how embarrassing!) I was concerned because my T3 levels (the level of free thyroid hormone circulation in your bloodstream) were too high, but my D.O. said don't worry about it. I think that was the cause.

FYI, getting on a correct dose of thyroid and taking a small amount of Klonopin daily, I haven't had a PA in almost 3 years. I also think hormones have alot to do with it. But small amount of Klonopin has helped me live a normal life, thankfully. I had every test for heart and nothing was found, so that settled my mind tremendously.

Just my .02 cents. Panic sucks!!

[Raejeanowl]

8. Oh Boy, Does That Resonate

I had a period in my life experiencing depression and panic attacks after the death of a loved one, and I just happened to have an independent thyroid nodule at the time that was making me hyper and contributing to the problem. I remember a particularly horrendous visit to the emergency room with a female resident dismissing me as having "nothing wrong with her except a broken heart" and putting me under the watch of the security guard on duty in case I cracked her over the head or something.

Long story short, the thyroid problem was found and fixed by surgery, I got into a depression support group, and I developed a network of people I could call or have come over.

You don't have to do this alone. And heaven knows there are enough people out there who've been through some part of it, willing and able to help you get by. Don't hesitate to ask for the help.

[onecent]

9. Thank you all so much for your replies. It's wonderful to know

I'm not the only one who experiences panic attacks. It's not highly talked about among casual or even close relationships, I don't think.

I'm doing better lately. My doctor did reduce the Zoloft. Because I told him whichever pill was creating a zombie, to please reduce it or eliminate it. He's pretty cool and listens to me because he does trust my instincts.

I did have a test a few years ago that indicated I should have my thyroid checked. Actually one of my sons was interviewing the companies that do the full body scan, and he gave me a full body scan as a gift when I went to see him, (compliments of the company). I showed the final results to my doctor and he did have my thyroid checked but said it was okay. I may mention this to him again.

I have to say, I wasn't impressed with the full body scan, because it's something you almost have to return to in a year or so to see what differences are occurring in your body. Who can afford that? The first one more or less just showed possibilities or abnormalities in a different color, but didn't really tell the doctors WHAT the exact problem could be. That is just my observation.

I also realize that December was a build up from his death in late July. Halloween, His 70th birthday on the 4th of December, Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years all wrapped into one big blur...so I'm hoping 2008 leads me on a path I'm suppose to pursue.

Again everyone....thanks for caring and sharing with me.
Penny