My Roo is gone

[RevCheesehead]

Roo died this morning at 5:30 a.m. I stayed up with him all night. He was much worse when we got home from the vet yesterday. He had fluids and an antibiotic, but his digestive tract was in too much distress. He passed a great deal of blood, and was already anemic. At the end, I think he could no longer walk or see much. All this happened within 24 hours.

I've just returned from taking him back to Green Bay. He will be cremated.

Roo was the man of the house, who guarded and defended us with the voracity of a pit-bull. Yet he was also sweet and gentle, and extraordinarily affectionate.

His body may be gone, but his spirit still walks through this house.
Good-bye, my sweet love, and thank you for your life.

[crispini]

1. Aw... Hugs to you.

:hug:

You will doubtless meet him on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge.

It's a real tragedy that our little friends so often precede us in death, but the joy and happy hours they bring to us is well worth it. Each one is a real little individual treasure and an honor to share our lives with. (I'm tearing up a bit, thinking of our furry friends.)

[RevCheesehead]

17. Roo was especially beloved -

The three beasties came to me from a friend 10 years ago, who needed a place for them to stay during the summer, while she did her field-ed work in a church. During that same time, I had a rather traumatic break-up with a guy I thought I really loved (I thought he was finally "the one."). But when Ian left, Roo was there. He was "my love" who helped take away much of that pain.

After the summer was up, Meghan asked if the cats wanted to stay with me. I quickly said yes, never realizing that this would be permanent. Meghan was so caring and giving, she recognized that they were far more happy in a large parsonage, rather than a tiny apartment. Eventually, when she moved on, she got a dog. She formally handed Oreo, Binky, and Roo to me, telling me she could do so, knowing how much love the beasties and I had for one another.

I'm still trying to grasp the implications of that kind of love - a love willing to let go, for the greater good.

[gkhouston]

2. I'm so sorry, Cheese

Big hugs to you and your other furbabies. I'm sure they've sensed what's going on -- amazing how animals are so much better at dealing with hurt humans than we are. Just one of the many reasons to welcome them into our lives and cherish them while we have them, and for long after we have to let them go.

:hug:

[RevCheesehead]

18. When we came home from the vet yesterday,

the other two seemed surprised to see Roo with me. They've known for a while he's been sick, and they've been leaving him alone. But last night, Roo slept on one side of the bed, I was in the middle, and Oreo was on the other side. When Oreo jumped down, I heard a growl from beneath the bed, and realized that Binky was there, all night, keeping vigil with us.

I took him to the vet for cremation. When I came home, the other two just let me cry. They're handling this better than I am. But they most definately know.

[sparky_in_ma]

23. A good kitty

To Roo :toast:

:hug:

[WhirlyGirl]

25. Sparky, you have a good idea, there...

. . . in view of the kind of cat Roo was, to raise a toast to him!

To Roo, the Gentle and Brave! :toast:

[RevCheesehead]

33. You know, he'd probably stick his snout in your beer.

And his head would come up with that "I just sniffed your butt" face - and enjoying every minute of it.

To Roo: :toast: The best friend a woman could ever have. He is indeed "KOEB-Worthy."

[RevCheesehead]

34. And to the Good People of the KOEB

:toast: To the Ties That Bind - and Love.

[gkhouston]

47. crying over it *is* handling it. Hell, *I* was sitting here at work,

crying about it yesterday and I never got to meet Roo in person, although I felt like I knew him, just from hearing you talk about him. What a sweet kitty.

If you're still crying over him all day long in a few days, then I'll start to get worried. For right now, go with the pain. It's better to acknowledge those feelings and ride them for a little while than to pretend they aren't there, IMHO. When you think about it, considering how much Roo gave to you and meant to you, wouldn't it be pretty damned scary if you weren't upset about losing him?

[bunny planet]

3. Oh Rev, I'm so sorry.

I lost my 20 year old Moose (cat) in 2000. I was devastated. I know exactly how you feel. How old was Roo?

It is so sad that our animals, who truly give us unconditional love, can not spend more time on earth with us.

:hug:

[gkhouston]

4. all her babies are 15

she got 'em all at once, IIRC, and at least two of 'em are littermates. And what a trip that can be; you tear you hair out when they're young together and having regular attacks of "4am run around and bite someone" and "oh, the toilet paper rolls aren't tiny shredding posts for my personal use?" and you tear your hair out when they're elderly statesmen together and getting that funny vet smell far too often. My best friend took in a pregnant stray 17 years ago and ended up keeping all the kittens; still has two of 'em.

[crispini]

5. I always try not to have mine all the same age.

Because then they would more likely get sick or go closer together. It's the "laddering" cat system. :7 Of my two, Fannie (primary cat) is probably about 12 now. Jen (Emergency Backup Cat, heh) is about 5 or 6. I keep thinking in a few more years it'll be time to get a new one, just in case! :P (Me wanting another cat would have nothing to do with it, ha!)

[gkhouston]

8. it's a nice idea, but you know what they say

the animals often find you, not the other way around. That's the way it was with the pregnant stray. Boy, she must have seen "sucker" on Mary's door, 'cause she already had 4 cats when she took Mao in. At the time I thought 4 was a lot, and then the kittenoids were born. I wasn't living there then, but I visited often and strangely enough, 9 cats seemed like less than 4 had, except every now and then you'd look around the living room and see a bunch of cats looking at you and you'd wonder if they were planning the revolution or something. :-) And even when they were definitely not in the cat boarding business, Mary and her husband acquired a little guy on a vet visit. He just seemed to know that he was supposed to go home with them, and he eventually did. Probably a good thing, as he's the "youngster" in the household now, although he's 11 -- not that he acts like it!

[WhirlyGirl]

10. With a cat named Mao...

. . . it'd *reasonably* be in the back of your mind that they could be planning a revolution.

[gkhouston]

11. :-)

actually, it was Madame Mao from the opera "Nixon in China" although a cultural revolution would probably be less damaging than listening to Philip Glass for extended periods of time. (Mary's an opera buff. Actually, we went to an opera at the Miller Outdoor Theater one night when she was very stressed out because one of cats was having a delicate surgery the next day. At the end of the performance, the lights came up, but the performers didn't come out for a curtain call. Instead, the announcer asked everyone to please remain in the lighted area as an animal had escaped from the zoo, which is immediately adjacent to the theater. Since a tiger had mauled a zookeeper less than two weeks earlier, the audience took this admonition quite seriously. The singers then came out for their applause and after about 30 minutes the announcer told us the animal had been spotted in a remote part of Hermann Park and we could go as long as we went directly to our cars and kept the windows up. It wasn't until the following morning that we learned the animal in question had escaped from the PETTING zoo! Anytime we remember Battlecat and his successful sex-change operation, we think about our adventure with the dangerous binturong.)

[crispini]

12. Hey! I LIKE Philip Glass!

:spank:

the dangerous binturong. SNORT!

[gkhouston]

13. well I certainly prefer Philip Glass

to the hoya-ta-ho-ing of Wagner, but I sometimes feel as if he's trying to give me a musical lobotomy. It wasn't one of our more dignified nights at the opera, that night. They were performing Lucia di Lammermoor and some of the staging was a bit unfortunate. There was a scene where the soprano was leaning up against a pillar, supposedly prostrate with grief, but to us she looked like a catfish trying to suck algae off the rock. And we totally lost it during a funeral scene, where they had the male chorus lined up respectfully (and I think the staging director thought unobtrusively) facing away from the audience, heads bowed, as if looking down into the grave, with their hands clasped in front of them. This, unfortunately, was close on the heels of a riotous drinking scene, and we couldn't help noticing that their posture was far more suggestive of urination than humble respect. This wasn't the silliest we've ever gotten in public, but probably in the top five, right up there with the time we were talking about nun graffiti in a Safeway a 1am while on a food run for (who else?) the cats.

[crispini]

14. Nun graffitt?

Sounds funny.

I like Wagner too. But I blame that on my predilection for drama queens. :P

[gkhouston]

15. drama is fine, but skip the bombast

Nun graffiti is about what you'd expect, silly things nuns might scrawl on bathroom walls if indeed they ever descended to such depths. "Sister Mary Helen spits in the communion chalice" is one that I remember really got to Mary; don't know why (don't want to know why).

[RevCheesehead]

45. I missed the "kitty years"

And I always had a deep fear that I would lose them all at the same time. But the other two are healthy, and through this experience, I have found a loving vet in Green Bay who will care for them while I live in the area. The 30 miles are worth every bit of the love, care, and compassion I received from these people (of the Green Bay Cat Clinic).

[RevCheesehead]

19. He was 15, as are the other two.

Oreo is his litter-mate. She's the long-haired black and white, and acts like she's about 7 or 8.

[WhirlyGirl]

6. Rev, I'm so sorry for you and ...

. . . sorry that Roo had such a painful time at the end. When you didn't appear last night, I was worried that was what was happening.

The world without your brave and gentle companion will seem a dreary old place for a while, and I hope the friendship you find here helps in some small way to soften the jolt of Roo's sudden absense, and lighten your gloom.

The sincerest of condolences to you and big hugs from me and from the group. :cry::hug::grouphug:

[RevCheesehead]

21. It makes a whole world of difference, WG.

That's why I forced myself to get on the computer and let you all know what happened. Because I love each and every one of you, and have witnessed your compassion to Lara and to CC, I knew you'd be the kind of people to respond with love.

Please forgive me for not immediately responding to PM's... last night, I was reading, when Roo howled out. I got off here right away, and stayed with him all night. But I knew your thoughts and prayers were with me and my little buddy.

I can't even begin to say "Thank you" nearly enough. :hug: :grouphug:

[WhirlyGirl]

31. You're always there for us, Rev.

. . . :loveya:

[Sydnie]

7. Rev, I am so sorry to hear this news

:cry: I know how hard it is to lose a furbaby. My thought are with you.

[RevCheesehead]

22. Thank you, Sydnie.

I feel like a part of me is gone. On the other hand, a huge part of Roo is here with me, too. Time will make it more bearable.

[CC]

9. I'm so sorry to hear about Roo.

I know it is hard to lose a furbaby and there are no words that can make it better. Wish I were with in hugging distance but sending you great big hugs from here. I was worried when Sparky said they found a mass in him. At least you know he was always well loved, spoiled and even more so at the end. My vet said something to the effect that when an animal is sick and you are babying it, it is as if they are soaking up all the love you can give them before they leave us. Though it makes it harder on us at first in time we remember all we did for them and thank God we have those special memories. Big hugs to you and the other furbabies.

[RevCheesehead]

35. Dearest Ferretessa friend,

I know you've been through this, too.

I love what your vet said: "when an animal is sick and you are babying it, it is as if they are soaking up all the love you can give them before they leave us."

Just as I was replying to you post, the doorbell rang, and my friend Lisa was at the door. She lost her 3-yr-old cat a year ago.. she is also my "cat-sitter" for the times I need to be away.

I told her what your vet said, and she whole-heartedly agreed. Then I realized that the thing Jesus was trying to communicate to us: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." The blessing, or grace, comes in allowing yourself to be open to the comfort and love that comes from others. That's when we are all attuned more directly to God's love - a love of compassion that reaches out, offering healing in times of deep pain.

I am blessed for knowing you. :hug:

[gkhouston]

48. okay, now I'm going to be ear-wormed by the first movement

of the Brahm's Requiem all morning. Your fault. :-)

[DemReadingDU]

16. Sorry to hear about Roo

It's so sad to lose a member of the family. :hug:

[Berry Cool]

20. What can I say that hasn't been said?

I am so, so sorry, Rev.

I too know deeply this kind of grief.

Please send me a PM if you want. I'm here for you. :hug:

[RevCheesehead]

37. Thanks, Berry

It is kind of scary at how deep the grief is - until you realize the depth of grief is just as deep as the love you've felt - and still feel. :hug:

[RevCheesehead]

36. Thanks, Dem..

He is, indeed, family. :hug:

[WolverineDG]

24. Sorry to hear about Roo

:(

dg--mom to 4 cats & 2 dogs

[RevCheesehead]

38. Thanks, dg

There's something about a mother's love, isn't there? :hug:

[WolverineDG]

46. yes

my babies seems to eat it up. :) although i do admit sometimes it's a bit tiring to have to sleep locked in one position because each cat has his/her favorite sleeping place on the bed by me & if I roll over, I upset the balance of the universe.....kids.....

dg

[gkhouston]

49. LOL

Neferkiti used to like to sleep perched on one hip while I was lying on my side... made turning over a real adventure!

[Botany]

26. Rev

When you are up to it check out the fun you and Crispini are having and will
have in the "Safe House" in Door County ......

BTW, KO dropped 2 Bay Air references, a tranq. dart take, a GULL story,
and something about "being on the run" last night .... KO likes Gull Bay & tranq.
dart stories.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Funny, the more you hurt the more you really know that you loved
the one you are missing. So remember the hurt just proves you
really cared and that is not a bad thing.

botany ......

[RevCheesehead]

39. Thanks for the update on the show, Bot...

I had the TV on in the next room, but could barely pay attention, since this was far more important. Sometime soon I'll catch up on what you've been up to.

You are absolutely right about the connection between hurt and love. And I think that in this world, it is not possible to love too much.

:hug:

[Berry Cool]

51. It's at times like this that I never fail to recall the Wizard of Oz

and his speech to the Tin Man about wanting a heart: "Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable."

[Clark2008]

27. Awww....

:hug:

As someone who has just been through this, may I offer the empathy of experience, the sympathy of the heart, a shoulder for you to cry on and a strong back on which to help you lean.

[RevCheesehead]

40. I felt like you and Blue Doggie were with me...

Thanks so much, Lara. :hug::hug: for you and Ramzey.
I'm so glad you've found a new friend who was waiting for you.

[Catchawave]

28. Awwww....

:hug:

[RevCheesehead]

41. Received with love -

and back at you: :hug:

[seito]

29. I'm sorry Rev

This has been a really tough time for our members. :hug:

It is so hard to lose those we love. As tough as it is when they leave, I would never trade one precious moment to be spared the pain. Our furry friends truly bless our lives with their zany antics and their unconditional love.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you.

[RevCheesehead]

42. Thanks, friend.

I completely agree. The pain is nothing, compared to the tremendous love I've had from him in the last 10 years. Hard? Yes. Worth it? Most definately.

:hug:

[Greylyn58]

30. I'm so very sorry for your loss

It hurts when you lose a loved one. I'm very sorry for your loss of your baby and hope your dear Roo is now at peace.

He was a beautiful boy. :) and I know he will be with you always.

[RevCheesehead]

43. Thanks, Greylyn

Peace is exactly what he has now. My peace will come in time - in fact, I am already receiving it, thanks to all of you. :hug:

[Gogi]

32. Sorry to hear that your furbaby has passed, Rev.

Makes me think of my old cat Thomas. He was 18 when he died and, cat lover that I am, I did'nt get another cat for years it was that traumatic for me. That may sound excessive but I'd had that cat from elementary school through two years of college.
:cry: :grouphug:

[RevCheesehead]

44. Thanks, gogi.

When our dog died in 1972, I thought the world came to an end. Mac was my older brother - and I couldn't imagine going on without him.

Mom and I were talking about him today. How he and Roo are together, probably comparing notes and sharing love stories. Mom also talked about her dog that died when she was a girl.

I guess when you love, you always carry that love with you. I like to think that our lives are much better, and richer, for it. :hug:

[Miami Liberal]

50. Sorry about your loss, Rev

I know how hard it is to lose a beloved pet.

Many hugs to you and the rest of the kitties. :hug:

[RevCheesehead]

53. Thanks, Miami -

Oreo's with my at the keyboard right now, and Binky's at my feet. They are the best comfort I could have - and all you guys are a very close second. :hug:

[Patsy Stone]

52. I'm so sorry, Rev.

It's never, ever easy. All kitties go to heaven where there's plenty of mice and lots of catnip and all sorts of furniture to pick on with no repercussions.

For you, and Roo: :grouphug:

[RevCheesehead]

54. Thanks, Patsy.

I'm glad you're back safe and sound (we missed you). :hug:

[Nothing Without Hope]

55. I'm so very sorry to hear about your Roo's death. He was a true friend

and he will leave a hole much bigger than he was. I'm glad he had you for his time here. Some people say cats are not really affectionate, but they just are the unlucky ones who have not had a truly great cat companion.

Oh Cheese, I wish there were something I could say. I hope you gave him a musical mourning piece.

:hug:

[RevCheesehead]

56. Hope, I've missed you.

In time, I'll probably do some kind of funeral/memorial for him - perhaps when I pick up his ashes. Right now, I'm using the time to sleep, put things in order, sleep, try to eat, sleep, and check in here for a daily dose of KOEB love.

I am doing much better today, and know life will go on. I had a dream this afternoon that Roo was with me, fat and healthy. I offered him something to eat, and he ate it. I knew, in that moment, that he was at peace, and I could go on.

Thanks so much for your response. :hug:

[Nothing Without Hope]

57. Sounds like he came to say thanks and goodbye. Have to smile -

how like a cat to do it with an image of your feeding him something! :)

I've missed you too. Lots of Real Life intrusions, and I've been busy with a number of high-maintenance DU threads that felt important. For example:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=3692135#3695339
Thread title: “Genocide update: "NATO on alert to provide help in Darfur" (Bush silent)”

There are a number of others too - I've been learning a lot but feeling frazzled and frustrated. So much needs to be done and it's so hard to get the word out. And with my sleep apnea, fibromyalgia and other issues, I've been fighting exhaustion too.

Be well. Your sadness over a "mere animal" is a testimony to something good and special in both of you as well as to the trusting relationship you developed. I hope it turns to a less sharp hurt soon, so that you can smile about him again without that hollow achy feeling.

[applegrove]

58. He looks gorgeous. My thoughts are with you. And when you are feeling

better, I'll pass on the funniest cat poem ever.

Remind me.

Applegrove

[RevCheesehead]

59. The final chapter

I picked up Roo's cremains today. When I got there, they had placed them in a tin shaped like a cat. In addition, the vet had saved some of his fur for me in a small plastic bag. They also made an impression of his paw-print in clay, with his name on the bottom. Now I still have his loving paw with me, and the smell of his fur.

Good-bye, my love, and thank you for sharing your life with me.

[CC]

60. Do not lose that vet.

I know it was hard to pick up his remains, but that vet sounds so caring and how he had the remains and the paw print is beautiful. And so smart. Of course you have now given me ideas for my various animals, though might get paw prints while they are healthy in cement stepping stones. (and even sick little Gizmo and Mojo's). Big Hugs being sent you way. He will always be with you, just in a different form now.

[WhirlyGirl]

61. That was a fine and thoughtful presentation by the vet, Rev.

. . . Veterinarians are so nice.

Wish I go to them, instead of to people doctors.