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Hi, gang. I wrote this up for Jossip, but it looks like they won't run it. (I can understand it; my point in this was how tasteless it is that Rita ran her "hostage school" piece at the same time a real journalist IS being held hostage, especially since it was filmed before Christmas.)
Oh, well...
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Any day Osama Bin Laden sends a terrorism threat, you're bound to be a little jumpy. So I was already feeling tense when I turned on MSNBC yesterday night. There it was on the screen...my worst nightmare...RITA COSBY HAD BEEN TAKEN HOSTAGE!!!!!
After my cat revived me with a blast of her lamb and barley breath, I was relieved to discover that my gal was actually practicing to be a hostage. Given that the interviews only she can get usually involve death row inmates, porn stars, and Dennis Rodman, Rita went to hostage training school in that hotbed of terrorism: Spokane, Washington.
Rita and her class went out on the streets of Spokane to practice looking for terrorists who were tracking their movements. Unfortunately, Rita flunked this lesson. When she learned a guy in a green baseball cap wasn't one of her "fake stalkers", she explained it away by saying that "maybe he was a fan of the show." Either that, or he was pissed that this segment was taking away time from yet another Natalee Holloway "bombshell".
The next lesson involved bargaining with your captors to stay alive. Rita learned that the best way to survive being taken hostage was to show your captors you had something to offer them. As soon as she told her fake captors that she was an American journalist, they were putty in her hands. (Well, as much as a psycho waving a pistol in your face can be.)
One tip: sympathize with their plight, and offer to "tell their story." Rita's already a pro at this. Just ask Tookie Williams! (Oops. I guess you can't, since he's already dead.)
Another hint is to make sure you your captors know your financial value. Are they kidding!?! Of course she can bring in the big bucks! Rita's the savior of MSNBC! Just ask Rick Kaplan!
One thing in this segment did disturb me. I noticed that there were some Christmas decorations on the streets while Rita and her classmates were being taped. You don't think they were keeping this segment in the vaults, just waiting to air it, in order to exploit a potential terrorist attack, and the capturing of a real, honest to Gawd journalist, do ya? NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
In the end, the important thing was that Rita survived her fake capture, so she can get more interviews that only she can get. We can only pray that Jill Carroll, a real journalist who's really being held by real terrorists, has the same happy outcome.
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