Just had to share with someone,

[Gogi]

I spent 10 minutes trying to figure out how to open this bottle of liquid hand soap when it occurred to me that there are directions for washing your hands on the label but not one word about how to open the bottle! While I was doing this an FBI agent being interviewed on the local news came up with this gem of a sentence,"When he was originally arrested one time before." Agent Mike has all bases covered in that sentence! :rofl:

Botany, you could'nt have done better!:toast:

[gkhouston]

1. Maybe Agent Mike doesn't want you to open the soap

because you might wash away trace evidence? :shrug:

[Gogi]

2. Agent Mike's old enough to know better...

unlike these young people who use "did'nt" instead of "had'nt" as in: "I wished he did'nt do that". Maybe that's just a Midwestern affliction!

Clarity is the enemy of corporations and big government.

[RevCheesehead]

3. "Clarity is the enemy of corporations and big government."

What I want to know is this:























how did you open the bottle of soap?

[Gogi]

4. I took a chance and twisted the nozzle hard to the right...

and the little plunger popped up! The directions on how to wash your hands were longer than: 1.Depress nozzle, 2. Twist nozzle to the right.

The directions on shampoo are even stupider because they tell you to use an amount of shampoo the size of a walnut or some other foodstuff.

[RevCheesehead]

5. If I were anal-retentive, that would frighten me.

Which walnut? And what is average? And couldn't they put it in teaspoons instead?

I loved Ellen Degeneris' take on it: why do we need directions on how to use shampoo? What are the chances that someone has never done this before?

Thanks for the laugh, Gogi - I needed it today! :hug:

[gkhouston]

7. English walnut or black walnut?

In the shell or not? In the husk or not? Have you ever seen a black walnut in the husk? Damn thing looks like a tennis ball... imagine using that much shampoo...

[gkhouston]

6. it don't make no never mind to me

do you suppose that "clarity is the enemy of corporations and big government" would account for the neocons French-hatred? (Or have you ever heard the phrase, "ce n'est pas clair, n'est pas francais" (that which is not clear is not french)?)

[RevCheesehead]

8. Probably. The neo-cons are English bed-wetting types.

What could be more clear than "Your Mother was a hamster, and your Father smelt of elderberries"? :rofl:

[Berry Cool]

9. Of course, the proper English is "I wish't he'd a-hadn't a-done that."

And did you know there are some folks in Santa Barbara who actually devoted a whole article to the stupidity of shampoo bottle directions? Thankfully, there is:

http://www.edhat.com/site/tidbit.cfm?id=94

And in a similar vein, did you know there's actually an award given out every year for the stupidest warning labels? Thankfully, there is:

http://www.mlaw.org/wwl/

I think my favorite one is the old classic on a hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." And no, it wasn't for a bonnet hairdryer from what I understand, it was a blow gun.

[gkhouston]

10. I liked the warning about not using your lawnmower

to trim hedges. :crazy: