Oh, no, it's Alex Witless -- KOEB 10/07/05

[SharonRB]

[Patsy Stone]

1. LOL!

Unbeliveably funny. :hi:

Shabbat Shalom!

[SharonRB]

4. Shabbat Shalom to you, too, Pats

[Patsy Stone]

7. Such a mechiah!

LOL. Did you see our thread titles were almost identical? I left mine so you could have a laugh. I'll delete it.

Can't stand her, so I'm watching the Antiques Roadshow instead. We're in Omaha.

[SharonRB]

9. LOL -- I hadn't seen it, but I just took a gander.

[SharonRB]

13. I'm just half listening.

We're doing Nielsen this week and I already filled out my diary for Countdown, so I feel obligated to at least leave it on.

[gkhouston]

88. :-) I was glad we'd already decided to have wine

with supper. I drained about half the glass when I saw it was Alex; figured I'd need some alcohol on board to get through the hour. I wasn't expecting to see KO tonight, but damn, if they can't get Allison to fill in for Keith, what's wrong with letting Monica have a turn? She'd be tons better at this than Alex.

[Patsy Stone]

94. Right you are!

Nice to see ya, even if it is sans Keef.

[gkhouston]

97. I don't so much mind Keef being away

since we know its for a Really Important Baseball Game but I could slaughter him for sticking us with Alex. This was the best substitute he could find? :puke:

[Patsy Stone]

100. Everyone else had plans?

There was a tornado?
Locusts?
A terrible flood?

Who knows. Time to write MSNBC.

[gkhouston]

103. everyone else is at the game??? n/t

[Berry Cool]

150. Well, the Yankees lost again last night, got rained out today.

Today's game has been rescheduled for tomorrow night. If they lose that one, they're done and we get Keith back for the rest of the fall and winter. :-)

So everybody...pray really hard.

If they win, it's back to LA (well, Anaheim) for the last game of the series Monday night.

Gosh, do you think Keith would fly to the West Coast for that one? :scared:

[WolverineDG]

157. missed ya last night, berry!

we thought you might show up after the show, but when you didn't, we wondered if you hadn't gone to yankee stadium to watch the game & cheer for the angels in person! :P

cheers!
dg

[Berry Cool]

149. Well, I took advantage of what I was certain would be Keith's absence

(and was I right, except for incorrectly calling his sub?) to have a life.

Wasn't much of a life, though. Glad to be back.

[Botany]

2. Witless?

:puke:

she has tried to smile ...... is it just me or does she strike you as
a little cold?

where is Perky or Miss Ow will she sin?

[Patsy Stone]

3. Maybe she works cheap?

:hi: Botany. Happy Friday!

[Botany]

12. What is this about prevented attacks .......

I could have loaded my pick up with gunpowder & diesel fuel ....
put a brick on the accelerator and sent it after .......... (name you target)

but I didn't so did i stop a terrorist attack?

I am sick of people lying to cover bush's incompetence
bin Laden is free
Iraq is perfect training ground for terrorists
Iraq is a failure
and last year had more terrorist attacks then any recorded year.

[Patsy Stone]

16. I know.

And congrats on your convicted Governor! :thumbsup:

Tweety and Holbrooke were discussing the poll taken right after the election where the majority of Bush voters believed that he would be more able to keep the country safe. I'd be :rofl:, if it wasn't so sad. Those poor people who bought the act...

[Rhiannon12866]

5. Oh, no, not her!!! :-( I just tuned in...

I was really looking forward to hearing what Keith had to say about all the latest developments! Last night, he was on fire!:D

[crispini]

6. Mr. Baseball is out at the ballpark.

Oh well, just dropping in to say HI anyway. Hola Rhiannon and everyone! :hi:

[SharonRB]

11. Hi, Crispi

[crispini]

14. Hi Sharon!

Are you ready for fall? :hi: I am in "nesting and stocking up" mode.

[SharonRB]

18. It's starting to cool off here, finally

It was in the mid-80s all week until yesterday -- it's unnatural. Global warming? What's that?

I'm sort of ready. I need to find time to switch my closets -- it's been too warm up until now, plus I was in DC two weeks ago and went into work both days last weekend. Tomorrow we have a football game at the Big House and Sunday I'm going into work again. Damn open enrollment season -- keeps me way too busy at work. I have no clue when it will quiet down.

[crispini]

20. I've got to go up in the attic and dig out my stuff.

Clean clean clean clean clean. Maybe this is my "fall cleaning" or something. :P

Jeez, Alex really doesn't do snark very well, does she? She's almost trying too hard, poor thing. It's a lot funnier to say something funny in a deadpan than it is to sort of make it apparent that you're supposed to "laugh here."

[SharonRB]

24. I was just telling my husband that

She's okay when she does regular news, but she's awful on this show, which needs snark. Give me Alison anytime.

[Patsy Stone]

34. That's the problem with her.

She makes it seem like regular ol' MSNBC. Blah, blah, blah...

[SharonRB]

36. Exactamente

[Rhiannon12866]

Ah, ha! I should have known. But thanks...:D

And I just got an e-mail that the Sox won, in case anybody's interested or didn't know yet...:-)

[SharonRB]

28. In this case, you need to specify which Sox

I told my hubby the Sox won and he was upset because he hates Boston. Then I told him it was the White Sox. He was much happier.

[Rhiannon12866]

Sorry, LOL! I wasn't thinking!

But the headline of the update I just got only said the Sox, so that's my excuse, LOL! Blame the cluelessness of the night editor of The Chicago Tribune! All it said was "Sox Win," in the subject line, I kid you not!:rofl:

Here's the story, for your husband. Mea culpa...
The Sox win their first postseason series since 1917 to move in to the
American League Championship Series. Full coverage:
http://email.chicagotribune.com/cgi-bin1/DM/y/etnm0ISp4G0G2E0FtVa0Aq

[SharonRB]

8. Nice to see you, Rhiannon

We kind of knew he wouldn't be here, but I had hoped Alison would be filling in.

[Rhiannon12866]

87. Thank you! It's nice to be here!:D

I guess I should have figured that Keith would be more interested in the series, but we sure could have used him, today, after the day we've had in the media! I was hoping for some crisp, biting comments on the DeLay shenanigans or the soda can terror alerts, but all I got was a report on fake dog testicles! Yikes!:-(

And I agree! Why didn't they pick Alison?!:shrug:

[Berry Cool]

152. Whether or not we could "use" Keith does not matter

when baseball seasons are on the line. :shrug:

[Patsy Stone]

10. Night.Mare.

Hi! Rhiannon. He was completely on fire last night, but tonight, the Yankees are playing. We are baseball widows.

[crispini]

15. LOL! Baseball widows.

I'm enjoying this piece on Souter. Bless his little liberal heart.

[Patsy Stone]

17. Best thing Bush I ever did.

Hiya, girl! :hi:

Have a drink, on me:

[crispini]

Cosmo! Thank you darling!

Cheers!

[Patsy Stone]

22. Cheers, Sweetie! n/t

[SharonRB]

19. Giving away my Cosmos, Pats?

[Patsy Stone]

21. My bad not to have offered everyone. L'chaim!

[SharonRB]

25. Much better!

L'chaim to you, too.

[WolverineDG]

27. salut! n/t

[bleever]

32. Since that looks like a girl drink...I'll take two.

:)

[Patsy Stone]

33. Right...

'Cuz I'm sure you'd rather look like this guy:

[bleever]

56. Hey, I know that guy!

We play bridge on Thursdays!

Small world.

:)

[Patsy Stone]

71. Then maybe that's YOUR hat? :) n/t

[bleever]

83. I WISH! I wear a bandana with some scorch marks on it.

Don't ask.

:)

[WolverineDG]

58. baseball widows

with only memories of a gray suit :loveya: to tide us over the weekend...... ;)

dg

[Patsy Stone]

95. Awwww, dg,

Screen caps for you? There are suspenders and everything:



ed: to add photo

[WolverineDG]

101. thanks pats!

i know you guys hate the gray suit, but i don't think it's all that bad really....

dg

[Patsy Stone]

104. I know.

It just that that particular suit looks cheap to me. I don't hate grey suits as a rule. It just seemed that they could find a finer one.

Nothing wrong with suspenders though. I don't have a capture of him in jeans on the set, but I'd like one.

[WolverineDG]

117. keep up the search, then

:)

hope you find what you're looking for! :)

dg

[Rhiannon12866]

91. I know, Patsy, dammit all.:-(

But thanks for the greeting, anyway!:hi:

I was really looking forward to hear his take on today's winner-of-a-day in the media, but all we heard was that they make fake dog testicles! What's up with that?!:crazy:

[Patsy Stone]

99. Sometimes they get too cutesy with the stories.

It's become the network's repository for adorable animal stories. At least KO knows covering them sucks. :)

[Rhiannon12866]

116. Adorable animal stories are fine with me, but what is cute about this?!

My first question, the very obvious one, didn't get answered. Why?!:shrug:

And, you're right, Keith's take on this one would have been priceless! And I'll bet he would have asked my question!:D

[gkhouston]

120. so the dog would have something to lick?

More likely, so the (male) owner of the dog would feel better about neutering it?

[RevCheesehead]

125. :ROFLOL:

Anyone you know? :rofl:

[gkhouston]

129. No, but I used to know a guy who

acquired a fake testicle. He had recurrent bouts of epidydmitis and finally had the real testicle gutted and replaced with a fake interior, which didn't get nasty painful infections. I didn't inquire as to his interest in self-licking. ;-)

[WolverineDG]

dunno

my male dog is neutered & sans fake testicles & he still, um, licks himself.

dg

[Rhiannon12866]

135. ROFL! You made me laugh!

:rofl:

My guys still lick themselves and one is neutered and the other's a female.:shrug:

I think the latter's probably true and how sick is that?!:eyes:

[gkhouston]

139. when you aren't there to monitor their activity

they lick each other. :evilgrin:

I think it's probably the latter and find it amusing and sick at the same time. It's not like they want them to look intact so they can show the animals; don't the animals have to be entire to compete in most dog shows, anyway?

[Patsy Stone]

140. Oh! LOL! I didn't even get past the first line

of your post. :rofl:

Yes, they have to be able to breed.

[Rhiannon12866]

145. I didn't mean that my dogs lick each other, LOL!

I just count my blessings that they are beginning to get along. And it'll be two years, next week, that I adopted the second dog.:evilfrown:

And I agree that it's probably the latter, but why? Who cares? Who looks? And, yes, dogs have to be intact to compete in dog shows, more's the pity. They breed the champions, like there aren't enough purebreds in rescue, as it is. All my dogs have been purebred, but this last one, and they were all rescue, except the dog I had as a child. And I've had seven dogs in my life. I tend to adopt older animals, but they find me. And my little guy is a purebred Brussels Griffon, a very rare breed, but he fell through the cracks and was almost euthanized, twice. Nobody wanted him.;(

He's my baby...:loveya:
http://www.dogster.com/pet_page.php?j=t&i=170168

[WolverineDG]

147. he's cute!!

he looks like a little toy!! :hug: for the puppy.

dg

[gkhouston]

148. he's a cutie

and you really don't know what they do when you aren't looking, now do you? ;-) Sort of like the light in the fridge...

[Berry Cool]

151. Rhiannon, one thing you gotta learn and learn it right now...

If the Yankees are in the playoffs and they're having a home game on a weekday...don't expect Keith to turn up for work.

You'll be less disappointed that way.

[bleever]

23. Shabbat shazzam to all!

:hi:

[Patsy Stone]

31. Shazam!

:hi:

[WolverineDG]

40. blast from the past

can you find isis? :)

dg

[Patsy Stone]

45. Oh, Mighty Isis!

Zephyr winds that blow on high,
lift me now, so I can fly...

[WolverineDG]

49. ok, i remembered the show

that's bad enough, but you remembered some of her lines? :wow: :)

dg

[Patsy Stone]

55. Looooved The Shazam/Isis Hour.

Also, Ark II:



I watched waaay too much TV.

[crispini]

60. Ok, I'm not remembering either of these shows.

This was my favorite. Looks about the same era?

[WolverineDG]

62. electra woman & dyna girl!!

yup, same era.

dg

[Patsy Stone]

64. ElectraWoman and DynaGirl!

I have a Viewmaster of this show. :)

Deidre Hall, too. Oh, Dr. Marlena Evans...

ed: sp.

[crispini]

66. Viewmaster! OMG!

Too funny!

[Patsy Stone]

102. Girl, I collect 'em.

Always looking to buy more. Such 70s cheese!

[WolverineDG]

67. jinx!

:evilgrin:

dg

[SharonRB]

68. LOL

That's why she looked familiar! I don't remember any of these shows.

[RevCheesehead]

78. Were you a "Days" watcher, Sharon?

I confess, I was for about 2 years. :blush:

[WolverineDG]

80. no need to be ashamed of watching soaps, rev

i grew up watching as the world turns & guiding light. :)

dg

[Patsy Stone]

110. I watched AMC for 28 years.

Just stopped last year, after the selection, because I was too wound up to concentrate on Pine Valley. I have no idea what's going on, or who half of the people are anymore.

Now, I satisfy my fix with nightime soaps. My newest fave is Footballer's Wives on BBC America. Trash!

[SharonRB]

143. For a while when my daughter was little and I was at home

[WolverineDG]

61. ::thunk::

holy hell, i remember that show too!! didn't recall the name, but the pic jogged my memory...yup, i'd say we watched waaay too much saturday morning cartoonies...... sheesh


dg

[WolverineDG]

84. ok, pats, you made me do this:

http://www.70slivekidvid.com/ark.htm

happy now??? ;)

dg

[Patsy Stone]

113. Yes, yes I am. :)

http://dt.prohosting.com/70s/

This guy collected all of these cassette tapes he made as a kid, from the TV, in the 70s, as well as a lot of other stuff. The site is chock full of memories and moments of ::thunk:: :)

I offer as an example, a link to a commercial for Quisp cereal.
http://dt.prohosting.com/70s/video/video.html

[RevCheesehead]

119. I loved Quisp!

Quake, not so much.

[Patsy Stone]

121. LOL

And don't even GET me started on the whole Frankenberry/Count Chocula thing!

:)

[RevCheesehead]

122. That stuff was nasty.

I confess: I HATE marshmallows. (except roasted over a campfire)

[gkhouston]

123. so you never ate Lucky Charms?

my brother was addicted to them. He was a big Quisp fan, too, and so was his hamster. I liked Frosted Flakes and Cheerios.

[RevCheesehead]

124. Tried one bowl, and almost threw up.

I loved the original shredded wheat; plus Cream of Wheat. :9

[gkhouston]

126. I like Cream of Wheat, but not the instant stuff.

might as well be concrete. :thumbsdown: PeachesNCream oatmeal is pretty tasty, though.

[WolverineDG]

134. i'm a fan of malt-o-meal myself

never cared much for cream of wheat. :(

dg

[Berry Cool]

154. Oh my God, Lucky Charms qualify as a snack food.

As a kid, I used to pick out the cereal parts and JUST eat the marshmallows.

And I didn't even have Keith's excuse for it. (Wonder if he ever used to do that. Then again, just eating gluten-powdered marshmallows probably wouldn't have been a good idea. But let's not forget, we're talking about a kid who once ate a whole bag of miniature peanut butter cups wrappers and all.)

[Patsy Stone]

136. They weren't so much marshamallows

as they were little dried bits of sugar. :)

[WolverineDG]

i loved quisp too

have you seen the du-er who goes by that name? he/she even has a quisp avatar!

dg

[Patsy Stone]

137. Yes!

I gave 'em props. :)

[Berry Cool]

153. And to think my sister and I were watching a cartoon with Rick Springfield

Animated Rick from '73. Classic.

[bleever]

79. Lovely Isis, lips so red,

What's that thing
That's on your head?

[Patsy Stone]

115. Silly boy... It's an amulet to amplify her vision!

She's also wearing one around her neck.

http://www.tvacres.com/jewelry_isis_amulet.htm

"With this amulet you and your descendants are endowed by the goddess Isis with the powers of the animals and the elements. You will soar as the falcon soars, run with the speed of gazelles and command the elements of sky and earth."

Narrator, Isis


ed: specificity

[bleever]

127. Okay, it's Friday, so I have to ask:

Could they also drink like fishes and like weasels?

[gkhouston]

131. if they drank like fishes and lied like weasels

then I think we know where blivet** got his role-model training. Saturday morning TV. Show of hands, anyone who's surprised.

[Patsy Stone]

132. It's standard with the amulet, yes.

Along with the snazzy outfit. :)

[WolverineDG]

26. Hi Sharon!

:hi:

i tuned in to find out it was Alison filling in. ::sigh:: >>click<< so i came back to the computer room to cyberloaf..... :evilgrin: or is it really "loafing" when it's the start of a three-day weekend???

dg

[SharonRB]

30. Hi, DG

Lucky you -- we're open for business Monday. Haven't you been at home sick all week, too?

[WolverineDG]

35. mostly

i did have to go in every day this week (except for wednesday--actually stayed home all day) because i had hearings (happy happy joy joy--try that when you're flying high on dayquil) in the mornings & was at a conference yesterday & today....mostly snuck home in the afternoons...left early today too because i started feeling icky again. :(

dg

[SharonRB]

37. Well, I hope the three days off gives you a chance to really

get better.

[WolverineDG]

43. me too

it sucks being sick all by yourself...no one to whine to about making you soup or fluffing your pillows. :cry:

dg

[Botany]

29. Switched back over from the game .....

Witless "Sparked up a bowl?" Does her eyes look red?

Maybe she is a stoner who thinks everything is funny ......
even when it is not.

[RevCheesehead]

38. I rushed home for this??

Ugh. Barking Sea Lions. (Bay Aire Cubs are much cuter.)

Hi, everyone :hi:

[Patsy Stone]

42. Hey, Rev.

We were hoping for Alison. But, nooooooo! :)

[RevCheesehead]

52. I tend to look more like Craig Crawford.

But nevertheless, you get ME! :7

Shabbat Shazam! :toast:

[Patsy Stone]

59. Your company is much better than either of them.

Shabbat Shazam! :toast:

[WolverineDG]

46. hiya rev!

:hi: i see hope springs eternal for you, huh? :)

dg

[RevCheesehead]

54. Hey there, Wolfie!

Are you feeling better today?

[WolverineDG]

74. sorta

made it to 3 before i started feeling bleah again. didn't feel the need to take a nap though, so hopefully, i'll be ok by monday. :)

dg

[Botany]

65. but you had .....

Witless & Rita @ one time ......

btw the plunging neckline on Rita :puke:

Witless almost has a little Rita in her voice

[RevCheesehead]

72. She also called Reeter "the best thing at the 9:00 hour."

And Reeter giggled.

Do you think that......?

Ewww. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Help me get that image out of my mind!

[SharonRB]

73. Nooooooooooooooooo, don't go there.

[WolverineDG]

77. bad rev! bad rev!

:spank: :spank: :spank:

dg

[Botany]

81. Rita Cosby?

the best thing @ 9:00 no more like 2:00 AM the bar is closing and
the shots and beer have taken their toll. I bet you she would do
great in a gay bar ..... all the men would think ..... drag queen.

[Berry Cool]

155. I think Alex is the only one they can get to actually promote Rita

on Countdown.

Keith wouldn't be able to do it without saying "And speaking of Things My Producers Forced Me to Do...be sure to stay tuned at 9 for Rita."

He has no choice but to be polite when handing the show over to her, but at least he's not forced to gush about how wonderful she is.

[SharonRB]

39. "Boy George can certainly take care of hmself in prison."

Funniest thing she said all night, but the delivery could have been better.

[crispini]

50. Her delivery TOTALLY stinks.

Does this woman not WATCH any comedy? She has to slow down and give us a little break before and after the punch line. People need time to process the joke! She totally steps all over her own jokes.

[gkhouston]

118. more than that... she almost sounded like she

wanted something bad to happen to Boy George in prison. There's a fine line between snark and nastiness. Good snark revels in uncovering hypocritical behavior and delights in embarrassing folks with overinflated egos but it does not celebrate genuine misfortune.

[Berry Cool]

156. Yeah, jeez Rita!

Do you really want them to hurt him?

Do you really want them to make him cry?

[crispini]

41. Ha ha ha ha ha!

NEVER call the cops when you've been taking drugs. Nimrod. :eyes:

See, she just missed another GREAT snark. I can even tell which lines in her text are meant to be funny... but she's just not deadpan enough.

[SharonRB]

51. Yeah, see my post above yours

Funniest line of the night, but it just loses something with her delivery.

[bleever]

44. LOL. My first-grader walked in and saw Boy George and said

"That's hideous!"

:rofl:

[SharonRB]

47. LOL -- she almost had me there

Harriet Miers sexiest woman in her 60s -- bwaaaahaaaahaaaa

[Olney Blue]

48. Happy Friday, everyone!

Can I have a drink too?!

[crispini]

53. Gimlet?

:hi: Olney!

[Olney Blue]

63. Why thank you, Crispini!

It was delicious!

[Botany]

75. Fix me something Crispini?

Nothing sweet.

I did see a good joke today .....
Why is Ann Coulter like a delivered Pizza?

Flat, greasy, cold, and not very fulfilling when it comes.

[SharonRB]

76. Ewwwwwww

[crispini]

92. Whisky sour?

I love these. They're sour-iffic!

[Botany]

109. thankx

more poems on the Merry Fitzmas thread.

[bleever]

111. That looks good to me two. Or three.

hic

:toast:

[SharonRB]

57. Hi, Olney, here you go

[Olney Blue]

70. Yummmmm- I raise my second drink in a

toast to fake dog testicles!

[crispini]

69. Ok, the "fake nuts for their dogs" line was pretty funny.

[RevCheesehead]

82. Funny how Alex perked up at that story.

Again, I'm thinking, "fake nuts...."

Help me, please. I'm making myself sick.

[WolverineDG]

85. stoppit! stoppit!! stoppit!!!!

:spank: :spank: :spank:

dg

[RevCheesehead]

86. No offense, DG, but...

you don't spank with the same enthusiasm that Sparky does. :loveya:

[WolverineDG]

93. i know

but please, stop with the bad mental images....


dg

[gkhouston]

112. no more mental images?

then I guess I shouldn't say what I thought about those...

[WolverineDG]

146. no, not the good "bad" ones

just the bad "bad" ones. :evilgrin:

dg

[gkhouston]

106. you're just beggin' him to show himself tonight

aren't ya? Ain't gonna happen. :cry:

[RevCheesehead]

108. Waaaaaaah!

:cry:

[Rhiannon12866]

89. I know, she totally got off on that one...

Very strange, both her and the story!:crazy:

[RevCheesehead]

96. I completely agree - both are weird.

Nice to see ya, Rhiannon! :hi:

[Rhiannon12866]

114. Thanks, Rev, nice to see you, too!

But it figures I'd show up on a Witless night! Last night, Keith was on fire, and I'd hoped for more of the same, especially after the day we had, DeLay's shenanigans, terrifying soda cans, the list goes on...*sigh*:-(

But it's nice to have you all to commiserate with!:hi:

[bleever]

90. But you know that Keef woulda found a way to tie it into politics

by saying something about how those who feel their Senators and Congresspeople lack cohones can now send them a pair.

[RevCheesehead]

98. I'd love to hear what Jon Stewart has to say about that.

Because he WILL say it - no doubt. :)

[bleever]

105. With Cheese as my witness: you heard it here first.

:)

[gkhouston]

107. and they seemed about the right size to be a suitable replacement

for some of the Congresscritters we've got. :7

[bleever]

128. Actually, I have it on good authority that Neuticles come in a range of

sizes.


:blush:

I mean, are AVAILABLE in a range of sizes.


Sorry.


That is all.

[Patsy Stone]

130. Punny!

Over and out.

[gkhouston]

133. so they have some small enough for any Congressman? Good. n/t

[bleever]

138. Chihuahua? Papillon? Uh oh: NEWS FLASH: Neuticles website

currently shut down!

Probably terrorists trying to destroy our way of life! Because they hate our dogs' freedom!


Damn you, freedom-lovers! Damn you to hell!

[gkhouston]

141. it's all those Hummer owners

wanting to buy three balls for their ShizTsu. (Excuse me while I have a Beavis moment... ShizTsu! ShizTsu! ShizTsu!)

[Patsy Stone]

142. If you haven't watched today's C-Span Energy Bill clip

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=132&topic_id=2143066&mesg_id=2143066

you really should.

[SharonRB]

144. I watched it right before Countdown

OMG -- what is this country coming to? It sounded like a session of Parliament.