Time heals all wounds, but do we ever get over the scars?

[stop the bleeding]

Reading over the discussions in this group just breaks my heart, so many different people in different relationships with the same feelings and outcome(s).

You can scan the threads and see that I put something up last year on 10/16/06 and then deleted it. Back then I knew something was up in my relationship of 5+ years, we had a house, a good life, even almost had a child together, but mother nature had other ideas about that one. I saw the end was near as early as May/06 and had made comments to a close friend about it- he thought I was "smoking crack" for saying that. Well after the week leading up to Thanksgiving 2006 I did feel like smoking crack, that is when it all hit me.

I had try to address our relationship for many months as in talking etc, but I was assured nothing was wrong. Well one day everything went all wrong.

Since that awful week in Nov/06 I didn't date for several months, but then was in and out of relationships lasting anywhere from a few weeks to a few months - I even dated a republican(big mistake). Even currently as I write this I have a date planned for this weekend after Halloween. She seems cool and fun met her through a friend - we have hung out a few times and seem to really have fun together. So who knows what will happen!?!

The point of this is this, we all have our own ways of getting past these hard times in our lives, and even to this day I still have dreams about my ex. We are all able to get past the wounds and let them heal, but it is the scars that will really never leave us, those scars are embedded in our lives and hence tell a story about us.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings, this writing has been a bit cathartic, as has many things of the past 12 months. Good luck to everyone in their own healing process, but no matter how much healing happens you will always have a memento(scar) to remember this time in your life.

[safeinOhio]

1. What will I think 5 years from now?

That is the question that I ask myself to get past this. I've been married for 4 years of which one whole year has been in divorce. It should be over in about 3 weeks. It has been hell. I'm a passive person, but, I've been fighting, tooth and nail this year. 5 lawyers, none cheap. I've had to move out of the state, in fear for my life, she is armed and dangerous. I have followed the law, every motion and every stipulation to the letter. She has done the opposite. I've done my best. All I'm asking for is a fair and equable settlement. Nothing of hers and only half of mine. I'll be 60 in 2 years and I'll need at least that. Five years from now I'll look back and laugh about the whole damn thing. Best of luck to you and everyone else here.

[mrgorth]

2. 2 years out

I've been out of the house for about 2 years. Divorced for about a year and a half. Things were lousy for the last year and a half of the marriage I think. Big scars. I never feel completely normal. I'm almost completely broke, financially. I've been on a ton of dates and slept with many women. I've had relationships from a few weeks to a few months and it just never feels right. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without beer. Thank God for wonderful beer.

[porphyrian]

3. Time and brain damage.

I almost never cry any more, which means I'm almost back to normal. Yay!

I think, if we live long enough, we can look back on even the scars with some level of fondness, if we can remember where we got them.