I have a question for all the loners out there.

[AgadorSparticus]

Do you find it difficult to talk to people after a period of solitude? As if you need to relubricate your tongue and thinking process to facilitate conversations?

I just find it difficult sometimes when I have been alone for awhile and then have to deal with people either on the phone or briefly at the stores. It's awkward for me. So I try not to have any periods of solitude for too long or else I'm just not up for social consumption. It's too difficult to get the wheel rolling again, so to speak.

[flaminbats]

1. actually isolation drove me insane...

if there are no friends around to talk with, act with, work with, or have fun with..I can't control myself!! Eventually I turn to the Internet, but even this has limits. I can post for several hours and only get one response. It only becomes worse when thinking about politics alone! Other nights of posting on DU or Bartcop is like spending time at a disco or the college Democrats in the good ole days..:party:

My political hell can be depressing enough, but nobody to discuss it with only makes it more hellish. Morituri te salutamus DU and Bartcop!!:yourock:

[LWolf]

2. Yes.

I find myself pulling out of social gatherings, avoiding contacting friends, and pulling farther and farther into my "shell."

That would be by choice; since I have to show up to work and interact with people daily, when I have a day off, I can easily "forget" that friends or family wanted my time or attention.

[bemildred]

3. Do you have a thinking problem?

Answer the following questions and find out.

1.) Does your thinking begin earlier in the
day than it used to?

2.) Do you find yourself craving a think at
a specific time each day?

3.) Have you ever had a blackout as a result
of thinking?

4.) Do you think alone?

5.) Has your thinking ever caused you to perform
an act which you later discerned to be
certifiably insane or incredibly stupid.

If you answered yes to any of the above questions,
you could be among the millions of people in this
country who have lost the ability to control their
thinking, a disease which, if left untreated, can
result in jails, institutions, or frontal lobotomy.

And just because you don't think every day doesn't
mean you don't have a problem. Many problem thinkers
go for days or weeks without thinking, only to
eventually find themselves on the inevitable three
or four day thinking binge.

THINKENDERS can help you stop thinking. Call for
our free brochure, "No thought for today" and find
out how.

[Freebird12004]

5. omg ... I answered yes

[AgadorSparticus]

7. are you asking me this? or is this just a broad hypothetical question?

[bemildred]

8. I'm simply trying to raise awareness, as a service to the public.

Does this sound like yourself? Does it strike home when you read it?
Then perhaps you should consider seeking help.

[AgadorSparticus]

9. since you could very well have started your own thread on it, i had

to ask why you were responding to my question with this information. and no, it doesn't strike any chord except, "why did she respond to my question with this?"

[bemildred]

10. Ah, you accuse me of a thread hijacking.

Sorry, I have no explanation either, it just made me think of it.

I suppose that perhaps it was the being alone as a problem and thinking
as a problem ideas seemed related, since I consider neither a problem.

Ok, for what it's worth, I sometimes feel this way, like when I've been
out backpacking for a week I sometimes feel unsure if I can do a
creditable job of being a normal human in the city again, initially.
There is a transition period while I get adjusted.

But then, after spending time outside the city, it often takes a while
to get used to all the congestion and traffic again, so any time you
have to be busier and more attentive it's a bit of a challenge.

[AgadorSparticus]

12. i don't consider it a problem too but just an adjustment period like you

said. i know "if you don't use it, you lose it" concept applies to your muscles. i think it applies applies to communication skills too. i don't see why not.

wow. you backpack by yourself for a whole week at a time? i am too much a scaredy cat to do that by myself. but i can see how that can be very liberating.

[bemildred]

14. Usually with my brother and his dog.

I day hike alone, and occasionally backpack alone for a couple days.
But I feel safer with company when I get very far off the grid. It
is great, better than anything, sweeps all the bullshit right out of
your mind. I am a largeish older male, so I don't worry as much as
I might, and the truth is you are far safer out in the wilderness
(assuming you have the food, water, and shelter situations under control)
than anywhere in "civilization". Car/Truck camping at the end of
long dirt roads works rather well too, and does not leave one with
such a long effort to get back to modern medical help etc.)

[kaitykaity]

4. I don't have this problem.

I am incredibly lucky. I finally found work that I
can do at home by myself and make real money (There's
a lot of scams out there.)

So when the people in my life are ready to be with me
for a while, I've had my alone recharge time and I can
give them the attention and affection they deserve.

Win-win-win all around.

[FarLeftRage]

6. No, not at all

I can go from total loneliness to dealing with others and not have any tongue-tied moments.

[chaska]

11. Boy, did you ever hit the nail on the head.

I'm going through that right now, and have been through it many times in the past. I simply forget how to talk. It's really frustrating. I sometimes come off as a total boob when I'm actually very intelligent (did I spell that right? - spelling is the second thing to go???).

[AgadorSparticus]

13. Yes, exactly! I sometimes feel like I've forgotten how to talk.

And how do you explain to someone that you "forgot how to talk"? But I've heard SAHM tell me a similar rendition. They start talking and thinking like their 4 yr olds. They long for the adult conversastions but it's very different and it takes them time to switch gears and get back to an adult level dialogue.

[chaska]

15. SAHM???

I find that I like to talk one on one (but NEVER on the phone) about real stuff (as opposed to small talk). But it takes me sometimes weeks to get back to a fairly normal level of conversational skill. And even then I have to slow down and think.

People who talk a lot don't generally do a lot of thinking while they're talking (I think), rather they rely on ideas and phrases that they've "practiced" by using them so often. Occasionally, if I have to talk for an extended length of time, I catch myself saying things I don't actually believe because the words just come out of my mouth easily - more easily than thinking.

People forget that thinking is a slow deliberation. Talking is a mostly a social thing. People who think out loud drive us all crazy. Their speech is always full of blind alleys and false starts, all manner of flotsam, that wouldn't be such an agony to listen to if they were to slow down and edit themselves a bit.

[northamericancitizen]

16. I have a confession. I am one of those who think out loud.

[franmarz]

17. I find lately that I am at a loss for a certain word---

It must be the aging process, but in conversation I want to use a certain word, and for the life of me, I cant recall it, makes me feel like a dodo head. It could be that I turn off people whose comments are not to my liking, and thus I am forgetting my own vocabulary. I must work on better behaviors regarding boring people.

[pretzel4gore]

18. recently, i just tell people....

they say solitude makes you a lunatic, or a saint (especially when there's vast numbers of people around)...people thus have to take their chances. i explain when discoursing with others that forgive my english; i haven't talked to anybody for days/weeks, and even normally i aint too glib so let's get this fukking bs over with pronto.
lol
i once went 6 months w/out socially conversing with another person, after several weeks it became a challenge, to avoid conversing.....i thought at time that was quite the thing, but today i cannot imagine talking to anyone, i mean where there's no purpose or reason for it like work or politeness etc

[bemildred]

19. I dunno if it makes you a lunatic, but you get "outside the box".

You stop being conditioned by constant social interaction, and things that "normal" people consider obvious and necessary stop seeming to be either, and people will consider you a bit nuts then. That's actually why saints and hermits live alone, they want to become unconditioned. And most likely that's why it's non-trivial to make the reverse adjustment to the social milieu.