I'm not doing well.

[Tab]

I'm 45, and it seems like everything is just spinning out of control. I've never been 45 before, so I don't know if this is common, but it sure seems like all the crap I used to take for granted is gone. This has been a particularly bad month.

I'm trying to be a little proactive, I have a call in for some anti-deps, stuff like that, but it's all just swirling around like it never has in the previous 44 years.

I don't even know that I'm asking for anything. Maybe just a :pals: or a :toast: (to make it go away, but that's short term).

I feel like I've aged 10 years in the last two. Something's wrong.

[hermetic]

1. you have started in a good place

you can always get a :pals: here.

Many people experience depression right now, the joy of the season and all. But if it is more than that, Google can be your friend. There is so much information that can help you determine why you might be feeling as you do. And if you're going to take drugs you really owe it to yourself to get a firm understanding of how they work, or don't.

Hang in there, don't be afraid to ask questions, and know that you REALLY aren't alone.

Do PM me if you feel a need to reach out to someone. I'm not a doctor but I have much experience listening.

[Droopy]

2. Hey, Tab

Develop a good relationship with a psychiatrist and a psychologist for the best results in making things better. Just psychiatrist might help, but it sounds to me like you need to talk to someone in confidence about what is going through your mind right now. Do not do talk therapy with the prychiatrist, unless you have a boat load of cash. My shrink charges twice as much for talk therapy than what a psychologist would. They might not all be like that so check it out.

[Tab]

3. Thank you for replying

Actually a psychiatrist deals with organic issues (e.g.: schizophrenia), which may be why yours just seems so expensive. Anyway I'm fortunate enough at the moment to have health insurance, so it doesn't matter. It was just a really crappy day, probably the worst all year. I thank my friends at DU who got back to me. It may not sound like much the way I say it, but it means a lot to me that anyone responded. Thank you.

[Droopy]

10. Depression is an organic issue

My psychiatrist practices both medicine and psychology, but he charges $200 an hour for talk therapy. I just see him for meds which costs $86 for a 15 minute session. Most psychologists around here cost about $100 an hour.

[mopinko]

4. the opening salvo of a mid-life crisis?

maybe, maybe not. but you know, as those birthdays pile up, we are SUPPOSED TO take a look at where we are, what we have, where we want to end up, all that shit. it is part of being a sentient being. part of understanding our mortality. it is a necessary thing. a good thing in its sometimes painful and stupid way.
if you can look over your situation, and see your way to where you want to go, you are a lucky man. if you can't, now is the time to figure out what is missing, and get it.
best wishes, friend. it is a tough time for all who can think and feel.

[Tab]

5. Maybe it is

I've done the "typical" mid-life stuff - I've remarried (my first wife was a nutcase), I own a sports car (but I bought it when I was 35 or so). This is just something else. I don't get it.

Thanks for replying. I just want a roadmap to life and I think I'm finally figuring out they don't sell them at Safeway or whatever.

Should be an interesting journey.

[mopinko]

6. i want a sportscar.

this one, to be exact. but my conscience doesn't want me to own a gas hog, and my common sense (and husband) don't want another old benz, cuz the last one ended up costing my the better part of a new one.

my first husband turned out to be a republican, but i dumped him in my youth. one thing about changing your life, you can't outrun yourself. it is a balancing act at the center of happiness- figuring out what is inside, and what is outside.

don't overlook the basics, tho- see your doc first. lots of things that go wrong with middle aged bodies that affect the brain. how are you sleeping? that is THE MOST IMPORTANT part of the mind/body nexus.

[Tab]

7. I'm sleeping terribly

and I think it has something to do with everything.

As far as sports cars, I don't have some $50k BWM, I have a 1978 MGB which I love. It looks similar to this:


Sports cars, alcohol, whatever - they don't cut it anymore though.

My sleep is quite fractured - I'm trying to fix it. I go to bed at anywhere from 11 to 1, might get up in the middle of the night, then get up at six for my son's bus, then back to sleep, then maybe get up later. There's no consistency. I suspect that's not a good way to persist.

[mopinko]

8. fix that sleep!

good sleep hygiene, and a little pharmaceutical help if needed, will go a long way to making you feel better. a lot of people (and docs!) will shrug their shoulders and say that it is a chicken and egg thing. but either way, doing what you can to fix it will go a long way toward feeling better. i have seen this problem from about every direction imaginable, and the impact is huge.

i had an old triumph of about that vintage. never had the coin at the time to keep it on the road, so it rotted. the good ones ran forever, but most of them ran for a few hours at a time. i still have dreams about driving that car, the brakes failing, and i am asking myself- wtf was i thinking driving this thing!

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

13. Depression can cause sleeplessness (talking from experience).

Anxiety, too.

[fizzgig]

9. i don't have any advice

other than work with your doc and try to take care of yourself (eating, exercise, etc)

but i do have a :pals: for you

good luck and peace to you

[ninkasi]

11. Take care

I have no real advice, but hope that you can get things under control again. It must be very frightening for you. Do you have supportive family members? Sometimes, they are what get us through bad times. Best of luck to you.:hug:

[Larissa238]

12. I can't relate but

I can :pals: :hug:

I'm only 24, so I'm not at that point of my life yet. I just echo the above- get some good sleep, some exercise, and if that doesn't work, research some medicines. For me, it's all about my sleep. If I don't sleep, my body goes beserk.

[EFerrari]

14. Tab.

:hug:

It will be all right.

[ncrainbowgrrl]

15. Big hugs, Tab!

I wish I could say something- anything that would be the "right thing", but as we all know, with these mental health issues, the "right thing" is never right enough.

Seriously though, if there's anything I can do- PM me. You were right there for me when I needed a friend and someone to bounce something off- I hope you'll let me reciprocate!

:hug:

Take care, my friend