New Shrink

[undergroundpanther]

Hmm I got a new shrink, I had my second appointment recently,he seems OK as of now..He doesen't seem to have those maddening control issues that get in the way of therapy *cross your paws*.He isn't hung up on my gender or my feline identity.(a big HUGE plus).He doesen't try to tell me what I *should* think or feel.He isn't reactionary.He has experince with trauma..

I talked to him first session and warned him about the kind of gameplayer control freak shit that breaks my trust and irritates the fuck outta me..That same old crap that too many shrinks seem to do with me,by default... if they have certain beliefs, personality types or additudes .Amazingly he seemed to "get" what I was saying without getting offended or making "exceptions" for himself. I'm actually thinking I might be able to work with this guy.He has a pretty cool personality and isn't hung up on things that don't matter!! And he's NOT christian!!(this is VERY important to me because I was abused by fundamentalists)

I have had clashes with docs before who had these definions in thier head about how a person *should* be,that were totally self serving,because they had this particular image in thier head of what "normal" is that they try to make me become which is someone I'm not .They push that crap,while they IGNORE the real issues I am trying to express to them that really make me feel like hell,like abuse,triggers ect,and all they care about is why do I wear a cat tail for,or why do I hate my breasts.When docs insist on discussing why I won't fit thier expectations .. therapy grinds to a halt.I righfully resist them when they try to"shape" my identity to something *they* feel comfy with. These docs hangups have nothing to do with me, but it took me a long time to understand that was the case,mindgames hurt MY therapy so I try to sniff out every therapist's biases and narcissism levels ..Any countertransferance problems I have had in the past with docs start when they play mindgames with me,to get me to go along with thier opinions, to force me to "fit in".

( Shrinks I have had have been diaobolical twords that goal,they've hurt me with,behavior mod,manipulation, threats,restraints seclusion,all sorts of nasty clinical bullying games and even drugs to make me"look normal" or be a girl and it has hurt me).

So this guy I have now seems jaw droppingly relaxed,open, accepting,aware, non controlling..his welcoming non-tweaker additiude is like a breath of fresh air.He hasen't asked me to take off my cat ears,or to not cuss once!! He asks legitamate questions and is not arrogant about it like he is second guessing what I will say! I'm almost scared to believe someday he isn't going to morph into a control freak once I trust him and let him know who we are.
Wish me luck!!

[DemExpat]

1. I wish you all the best with this guy, undergroundpanther!

I know exaclty what you are talking about with the expecations, biases, and the narcissism (EGO) of people - of shrinks and therapists.

I also had a good nose for the fakes.

My first and only shrink was a woman, (I had other therapists/counsellors after her) which was good for me at that time, and very open, non-controlling. She wasn't "perfect" - I sometimes got into feeling struggles with her, but they mostly came from me when I was getting into "dangerous" material feelingwise.

I hope that what you have learned about assessing people - especially those in a position to help you through VERY vulnerable times - will help you learn a wee bit of trust, but please do not expect him to be perfect. I often fell into that trap.....

So try not to be scared that he will suddenly turn on you as a control freak, while knowing that he is a human (with lots of shortcomings) in communication with you.
If you build a base on a feeling that his intentions are good - it will probably work out.

I hope that he helps you figure things out for yourself!

Again, best of luck, this could be very GOOD!

:thumbsup:

DemEx

[Droopy]

2. I hope it works out, ugp

I've only had one therapist and I stopped seeing her after about a couple of months. It wasn't a reflection of what kind of therapist she was I just didn't feel like I needed to be there. I was referred to her by my psychiatrist who thought I should be doing some talk therapy as well as drug therapy.

Now I'm not saying I'm perfect or that I've got it all figured out, but talk therapy for me seemed pointless. The drugs were doing their job and I felt alright. The only mental health professional I see now is my psychiatrist. He was disappointed that I discontinued seeing the therapist but that was just one instance where I had to put my foot down.