Anyone dealing with a chronically ill family member?

[kineneb]

I just need some cheerful support.
Some of you have seen my comments in other forae here, mostly LBN, GD and GDP. I am the only caretaker for Hubby, who is diabetic, on dialysis, has heart problems, and is medically fragile (and only 59). He can fix his breakfast and lunch, do his own laundry, empty the dishwasher and bathe himself. Other than that, I do everything else, including the driving. We are also going through Chapter 7 bankruptcy, due to medical costs and job loss.

So why am I posting in the Mental Health group? Because I live with clinical depression and its treatment every day. I have had a number of depressive episodes beginning when I was a child. I also have OCD and panic problems. Currently I am taking Cymbalta, 60mg., which my regular doc provides, since what insurance I have does not cover that medicine. My family has a history of mental health problems, including my great-grandmother's suicide.

I try to make time for myself, but Hubby's dialysis schedule is relentless: every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, leaving the house around 10 am and not returning from the clinic until 3-3:30 pm. The drive is 25 miles each way, on a lovely but winding road along a lake. Then he had at least three doctors' appointments each month- regular physician, cardiologist and nephrologist.

I just needed a place to visit where others understand how I feel.

ed f/spelling

[mopinko]

1. it can wear you down, for sure.

i have a kid with crohn's disease, and a kid who is bp. the bp kid is now 19, soon to graduate from her therapeutic day high school. she has really benefited from a long term relationship with her therapist, and the therapy at school. she pretty much refuses to take any meds, tho, even though the clearly help her. especially with physical symptoms that she has, headaches, etc. but it has been a long, bumpy ride since she was a little kid who drove me crazy. she was always oppositional, and even as a baby, inconsolable and hard to get along with. i just couldn't do anything right as a mom.
the kid with crohn's was dx'ed 4 years ago. that has been hard, too. she had many years of stomach aches, and joint pains that were mysteries. then one day she started having incredible diarrhea, and was dripping blood. i could not believe that you could take a kid to the er with something like that and be sent home and told to follow up at the next available appointment with the gastro- in 3 months! she had to see here regular doc weekly until then. we had to do a weekly blood count, and after 4 weeks of watching it drop, it finally got into abnormal territory, and she was admitted to the hospital. it took an irate call from her doc to get that, tho.
since then it has been the usually battle to get a kid to take pills.
i have lupus with fibromyalgia, myself. it is finally under decent control, but it caused quite a bit of depression, and difficulty functioning at all, let alone coping with all that. (i have 3 other kids, also.)
it is really hard to cope with people when it is hard to just be yourself, and get out of bed every day. your skin is too thin, and your insides are too heavy. doctors can be bullies, and drive you crazy. they are sure not likely to understand what it is like to be you. i had to switch my kid's gastro cuz she just did not understand what it was like to have a sick kid. i ended up just wanting to strangle her with my bare hands. i let loose quite a stream of 4 letter words when she refused to sign a 504 plan for tutoring when she couldn't get to school. it had taken a huge effort to get a proper plan in place, and the kid had had a bad year, sleeping poorly due to gastric reflux, and missed a lot of school. i was told to take her to a shrink, when her gastro should have figured out what was wrong. she sure did not know what it was like to turn your kid over to a shrink. that can be a nightmare, too. but she figured that she had recommended it, and i had not done it. bad mom, end of discussion.
am i rambling now? yeah, i guess. so, see, there are others here in a similar pair of shoes.
take care of yourself. hope you can dig up some respite care, and take a break for yourself. it's hard tho, i know.