Why are so many people getting worked up about atheism?

[Bill McBlueState]

They're not atheists, why do they care?

(see the parallel? :o)

[Zenlitened]

1. It's because of all the political clout we wield in this country...

... and around the world.

None dare resist us! Mwah-hahahahahahah! :D

[phantom power]

2. Yes, our Tyranny of Relativism(tm) is almost complete!

[beam me up scottie]

3. Dude,

cut it out, man, you're giving away our secret plan to rule the earth.
:evilgrin:

[beam me up scottie]

4. Oh, that's right,

I hate all religions and their followers and want to destroy mankind.
Isn't that what the book says? (I keep forgetting)

[trotsky]

5. How's the election for our pope going, anyway?

It's so super-secret they don't even tell the rest of us atheists!

[beam me up scottie]

6. Do we get secret decoder rings?

How about Bat Signals?

[onager]

7. Yes, you do get a decoder ring!

And the stylish Anti-Rapture Helmet. And a rubber chicken. Nobody is sure why we get a rubber chicken. We just do. It's part of the dogma. Or catma.

Personally, I suspect the rubber chicken goes back to a famous post on the alt.atheism newsgroup: "If Jesus ever does come back, we should strangle him with a rubber chicken. Then his followers can wear THOSE around their necks."

To find out more of the features and benefits, just google "EAC" or "Evil Atheist Conspiracy."

I'd give you the URL, but then I'd have to kill both of us.

:hide:

[beam me up scottie]

9. Okay, I went through the secret initiation, I want my stuff.

Is this the helmet?

<img src="" width="470" height="352">


And I want one of these rubber chickens, they already put them on the rosary beads so I don't have to.

[onager]

12. Thanks for the...

:rofl:

[beam me up scottie]

13. Me?

You owe me a new keyboard!
:rofl:

[Beetwasher]

18. Ummm, Those Aren't Rosaries! They're Mardis Gras Beads!

To get them, you have to show us your tits! :evilgrin:

It all makes sense now...somehow...

[beam me up scottie]

19. BWAHAHAHAHAHA

:rofl:

LIARS!
They told me those were rosaries.
Can you turn them into rosary beads by blessing them?
And would you need to bless them before or after I flash you?

[neebob]

27. Do the helmets come in extra large?

Because I have a pretty big head. And because I'm tall, I'd like an extra long chain on my rubber chicken necklace. (Perhaps I'm incorrectly assuming it's a necklace because of a photo I saw on another thread that made me want one.)

And I see it's on this thread, too. That's a swell rubber chicken necklace. But those chickens look kind of plastic, not rubber.

[Warpy]

8. They're scared

They know they can't prove any of their beliefs without resorting to tautology so they try to shift the onus onto people who simply don't believe.

[Zenlitened]

10. Don't you love that line of argument, by the way?

There are actually people on DU trying to make the case that, if you're not catholic, it really shouldn't concern you who the pope is.

:crazy:

[opiate69]

11. Because we're "evil heathens"...

who are going to corrupt their fine christian yuppie-larva by introducing them to the wonders of illicit drugs, casual group sodomy, ritual sacrifice and crunk music... we must be stopped! Please, won't somebody think of the CHILDREN???

:evilgrin:

[Discord]

14. We challenge everything they believe in.

If we are right, then they would have to come to grips that they have lived a lie their whole lives. The whole foundation they built themselves upon comes tumbling down around them. Thats a very difficult thing for someone to do, and why many wouldn't ever allow themselves to even consider it. Its such a fundamental change to everything right down to the core.

[displacedtexan]

15. Yeah, it's like a child learning the truth about Santa...

On a grander scale.

[Discord]

16. and after having believed in Santa for 30 or more

years before learning the truth.

[GOPFighter]

17. Subconsciously...

they know we're right. And it scares the freep outa' them!

[neebob]

28. I think that's probably true

If you admit there's no god, then you have invent another reason to be here and can no longer attribute all the ugly wrong shit in the world to this being whose methods in whose madness you aren't privy to.

AND people who admit there's no god are that much less likely to be sucked into the machine, or at least stay where they are and not get sucked in further. So it's in the interest of those who run the machine to villify those who don't believe in god.

[curse10]

20. Jealousy

we get to live without all that god-associated guilt. We just have our mothers to deal with.

[beam me up scottie]

21. Ain't it the truth?

You can escape the wrath of god but your mother's guilt lives forever.
:evilgrin:

[onager]

22. Or as somebody posted elsewhere once...

"Of course your mother knows how to push your buttons. She installed them."

[BiggJawn]

23. Because they're pissed that they don't have the BALLS to be one, too!

Or they envy those fleece blankets and I-Pods we get everytime we "win" a new convert....

[beam me up scottie]

24. Don't forget the rubber chicken.

Hard to find a good rubber chicken these days...

[BiggJawn]

25. Shhhh! Now EVERYONE will want to be a recruiter!

Not that many good rubber chickens to go around in this "Bush Enronomic Miracle"!

[beam me up scottie]

26. Oops, I keep forgetting...

"Bush Enronomic Miracle" sounds almost like something RONCO would sell.

[Taxloss]

29. I think it just eats some people up that we walk around

living perfectly good, happy lives and without being hugely deparved and evil and soulless, and it makes them feel deficient in some way. And they don't like that one bit.