What Religion is the Best Religion?

[beam me up scottie]

Find out in this month's edition of:

Consumer Report
by Fade To Black Magazine

What Religion is the Best Religion?

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How We Tested

Since most people have some sort of religious predisposition, in order for our investigation to be unbiased we had to use impartial participants. For our independent test, we brought in 37 aborigines from the Brazilian rain forest tribe of Raoni. With a crude understanding of god and the universe, we explained each religion to them and asked them to try it out for a 4 week period. All the participants had a chance to try out all eight religions for a 4 week time frame and rank them based on their findings.
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Our Findings

In our tests we have found that most of the aborigines preferred Christian religion based on its ease of understanding. With Catholicism being a close second, followed by other religions. Here are the findings.
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Christianity

This is by far was the most popular belief among the aborigines people, with more than 2 out 4 preferring it. The concept of a loving god, was easy to understand, since it bore some semblance to their god “Khatimi” , the god of 'big shiny things'. This belief was so favorable among the tribesmen that a few even made a small donation to the Robert Schuller Ministries at the end of their two weeks trial.
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Muslim

Although not very popular it did appeal to a few of the aborigines. Ironically the few tribesmen who chose the Muslim religion soon got into an altercation with those who preferred Judaism. The dispute was over the territorial right of the grass hut in which they were living. The tribesmen who choose the Muslim religion claimed they were in it first.
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Atheism

Although ranking high on our scholarly section, this belief was not preferred by any of our testers. The concept of life being meaningless and with no hope of an after life, left most of the tribesmen desponded and depressed, with a few actually needing short term therapy, after the four week trial.
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Recommendations:

If you are looking for a good over all religion you can’t go wrong with Christianity. It ranked the highest among the tribesmen and very high in our scholarly test. If you prefer no ritualistic practices bestowed upon you, atheism is the right belief for you, even though it ranked very low in our independent tests. If you prefer a lot of rules and customs take a look into Judaism, or the Muslim religions. The chart should provide more information for you.




Read the entire report at:

http://www.fadetoblack.com/consumerreport/religion/

[onager]

1. Thanks!

So we get rated dead last again. Figures!

;)

[beam me up scottie]

2. Even Satanism scored better.

Must be the lack of perks

[trotsky]

3. Funny, but I do have a gripe...

I wish people wouldn't (even jokingly) say that atheism necessarily means life is meaningless. The truth is SO far from it. Atheism's message is positive - the meaning of life is what YOU want to make it! No gods, spirits, fairies, or gnomes to HOPE that you please.

[beam me up scottie]

4. I agree.

That's why we try to make the most out of this life, because it's the only one we've got.

[Az]

8. Agreed, see my post

Basically getting at what I have been trying to say. We need to turn this negativity towards nonbelief around.

[cprise]

12. Interesting Forum --

Hi, I hadn't noticed this place before.

Before I begin with my full reply, I'd like to state I am a secular humanist and that holding a certain nominal amount of faith in humankind, athough sometimes painful and difficult, is of primary importance in my life and a matter of daily reflection. Also, I normaly identify as just 'humanist' because a person's belief or disbelief in the supernatural is relatively unimportant if they recognize the immediacy and importance of their fellow man and the natural world in their lives (e.g. I have more in common with many liberal religionists who put people first, than I do with some relatively antisocial atheists who worship Ayn Rand and have a Darwin-fish on their SUV only because they think natural selection is a blueprint for civilization <-- all too common>).

FWIW I had the same reaction as you to the atheism reference in the sense that people shouldn't even joke like that. However I believe the 'meaningless' outlook is a common trap for atheists, esp. the ones who only avoid religion because the kind they grew up with makes life inconvenient for them (these are unprincipled atheists).

I feel compelled to reply to your message because even principled atheists can fall into the 'meaningless' trap. And the assertion that atheism is a positive statement is questionable at best. It is only a necessary negative position when applying skepticism to belief in deities. I believe it is bad form to emphasize atheism in general discussion, because it leaves a void that undermines your audience's ability to trace the (possibly brilliant) story or argument back to a core belief they can asipre to; there is nothing for people to grab onto beyond a very specific form of skepticism.

Many atheists are well-educated and seem to take their exposure to the humanities (celebration of humanity) and humanist philosophy in general for granted. They allow it to transform their worldview and go on to enjoy a diffuse but very shallow and inexplicit humanistic sentiment that permeates pop culture. And IMO then they present themselves to others using a tragically incomplete term.

[Phentex]

5. Why is Catholicism broken out of Christianity?

I didn't read the entire article.

[beam me up scottie]

6. I dunno. I'm an atheist.

Maybe because of the pope?

edit:

Ask Trotsky! The dude knows everything!
But ask nicely or he'll smite you.

[HawkerTyphoon]

9. Because...

The christian fundamentalists have excluded the catholics from their club, ignoring the fact that catholics have been christians for 1700 years and fundamentalists have only been around for 100 or so years.

The sad part is that the public (excepting for catholics, of course) have bought into the fundamentalist's definition of what is a christian. BTW, they also exclude all the other "mainline" christian denominations from their definition.

They have also taken over the fish symbol from the catholics. When I was a kid (not a believer) in the 50's the fish symbol was prominently displayed on the altars in catholic churches.

[Behind the Aegis]

7. Funny!!

Got to love satire on the web! Some people are really clever. My favorite lines...."Ironically the few tribesmen who chose the Muslim religion soon got into an altercation with those who preferred Judaism. The dispute was over the territorial right of the grass hut in which they were living. The tribesmen who choose the Muslim religion claimed they were in it first." LMAO!!! :rofl:

Of course, what would be funnier is to post this in the GD and watch people go into fits! :evilgrin: I am so bad!

[HawkerTyphoon]

10. I agree

Great satire, maybe someone should try posting it in GD just for fun?

[beam me up scottie]

11. How about I post this one instead?

from The Weekly World News website:

25 SIGNS YOU ARE GOING TO HELL!
By Becky Todd

Chances are, you're going to Hell, says a Bible scholar.

"Ninety-nine out of 100 people are damned," says Jacob L. Pinewood, professor of divinity at Holy Moses College in Jarvis, Australia.

"My research indicates God hates us. That's why He made His rules so ridiculous that the average person will never get into heaven."

But you may be one of the lucky few, says Pinewood, author of the handy guide So, You're Going To Hell. According to Pinewood, if you answer: "I sayeth yes," to any of the following situations, you should pack for a warm climate when the Grim Reaper calls your name.

You're going to Hell if you:

* Can name 10 beers but not one of the Ten Commandments.

* Think WWJD stands "What Would J.Lo Do?"

* Are a whoremonger.

* Can't stand harp music.

* Wear white after Labor Day.

* Have built a shrine to Michael Jackson, even a small one.

* Have severed heads in your freezer.

* Have occasionally asked God to damn something for you.

* Have considered selling your soul for a Mercedes convertible.

* Sometimes use the Lord's name in vain, especially when you can't find the TV remote or stub your toe in the dark.

* Have watched a movie with graphic violence, brief nudity, sexual themes or adult language.

* Use the F word more than once a day.

* Felt powerful and satisfied after squashing an insect.

* Have engaged in sexual acts for reasons other than procreation.

* Have undressed people with your eyes at family reunions.

* Don't understand what's so bad about alcohol since it makes you feel so good.

* Ever fell down because you drank too much. "The Bible says, 'Thou mayest swayeth on thy feet,' " says Pinewood.

* Ever laughed at or imitated a mentally or physically handicapped person. "This is especially difficult as the rule includes midgets with big heads," says Pinewood.

* Ever had a bath or shower with someone of the opposite sex.

* Ever had a bath or shower with someone of the same sex.

* Are a homosexual, transsexual, heterosexual or metrosexual.

* Ever rolled your eyes at the mention of Mother Teresa.

* Make a practice of stepping on sidewalk cracks.

* Belong to any organized religion. "Every religion believes the members of every other religion are going to hell," explains Pinewood. "And since you can only belong to one religion at a time, it's a Catch 22 situation."

* Covet your neighbor's wife, husband, car, house, donkey or any of their household appliances.

Published on: 04/20/2005
http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/features/religion/61522

[politicat]

13. Bad Religion is the best religion.

They have great Ceremonies (concerts), cool raiment (t-shirts and short plaid skirts and doc martens), nifty sacraments (thou shalt think, thou shalt question authority, thou shalt not bend to the will of others) and Communion is better.